December 2007. Laughing, sitting, rolling, whatever next - sleep perhaps?

[Wizzska]

Hello ladies, will you join me here?

skid are you south african i am

good title wizzska!

evening all! typing while dd has her "final" feed - a bit of a joke as she will feed umpteen times between now and the morning, but she has had a bath and is in her wee sleeping bag!

routines - thank you all so much for posting. i feel quite a bit better now that I've made more of an effort to go back to EASY - we still don't do anything at particular times, everything sort of flows from whenever she wakes up, but I am making an effort to get her to nap between each feed, and as a result occasionally am experiencing the "Y"!! not spending it all that enjoyably, have had to do bits for work and am finally contributing to the housework a bit more! also i can see dd being much happier after just even a 30 min nap, think i was keeping her awake too long.

does everyone aim for a little sleep between every feed, after some awake time that is?

PND and down days...i think sleep makes the biggest difference to me - DD did a 5hr stretch on Sun night at one point, and then the weather was glorious on Mon, I was positively bouncing along with the pram. Then last night she was up loads and decided 5.30 was the start of the day, and I've been up and down all day feeling overwhelmed and like i'm not coping. I have to be honest and say I completely dodged the HV PND questionnaire - I have a real problem with her and some of the things she's said and she totally wound me up the way she gave me the questionnaire! So I ticked all the answers that made me sound fine, with a couple of not-so-fine ones thrown in for that realistic touch! I'm pretty sure I didn't/don't have it, but if i did she is the last person i'd want support from! amani your dh sounds fab!

Clairey my DH is exactly the same, re gettibg angry, i think they just want to be able to "fix" things. i tried to tell mine the other day that i felt a bit overwhelmed etc and we ended up falling out as he took it as criticism that he wasn't helping enough (which he totally is!). It prob sounds v silly, but he is being great, doing the cleaning etc, but it means I'm with DD ALL the time - sometimes I'd really like just to be on my own for half an hour, even if it's to hoover or whatever, while he changes nappies or keeps her entertained!

oooh think she might be nodding off...

ok so she's up again...at least i might get to finish my post!

pecka that was a fab post, thank you. I still can't believe i have made it this far, but even at 16wks i still don't feel it's going all that well! But I'm surprised at how strongly i feel about it - when i was pregnant i said i'd feed for a couple of months, now i'm aiming for at least a year!

bouncing dd has been very fussy of late too, and it feels awful doesn't it, esp in front of other people,, also i think the faff of trying to keep yourself covered up doesn't help

sleep - what?! well not bad i suppose as she is waking ONLY to feed, and goes out like a light afterwards, but we seem stuck at every 3/4hrs regardless of what i do during the day.

feel like i have tons more to say but she is asleep now and i really want to be asleep too!

Oh - fenugreek etc - i used these for a few weeks capsules then they ran out and it was a few days before i got round to re-ordering. I had never been sure if they did anything, but when I stopped taking them I did notice a difference in how full i got between feeds, but only at night for some reason. So I got paranoid and ordered it in liquid form since it was a bit cheaper liquid - YUCK! It tastes very curry like, and i like curry but not like this! Only started yesterday so haven't felt the effects yet, will let you know! I never feel let down, NO idea when it is happening, so am a bit clueless in that area.

suey am of your holiday, sounds great! glad millie enjoyed it too, and i think it is a big hurdle to get over, ie we holidayed with a baby and survived! Sex - nooooo! DD still in our room, i think it would seem weird! Plus I just want sleep more than anything else. Oh god - is my poor DH the only one not getting any?!

loucee how are you feeling re not returning to work? I am with you on the not forcing feeds when DD is fussing, I think that has been something I've been getting really wrong. I just have this irrational fear of her being hungry! Also (selfish) it was much easier when she had a big feed then I knew I would have a good 2.5 - 3hrs till the next. Now if she snacks/fusses I am trying not to force it but then spend the next hour or so panicking that she'll want fed at a time that I can't feed her. Although really, I'm hard pushed to think of a time when I couldn't feed her. It's a confidence thing isn't it a lot of the time? (and i have none!)

Those of you with profile baby pics - GORGEOUS!!

Must sleep now, but just have to say - bloody nappy changes I NEVER get it right! DD wakes to feed 12ish, 3amish and 6ish, and she has had a clean nappy on from 8ish after her bath. So I normally change it at the midnight/1am feed as that's when I can face it the most, also makes me feel better about not changing at 3 or 6. Anyway last night I thought stuff it, didn't change at 12, and was awakened at 5am after just putting her down at 4, cos she was soaked though, even her sleeping bag was wet, aaaargh. Needless to say I will be changing her tonight! Are my nappies just crap? I use Tescos, thought they were ok??!

Ok night night and good luck all for tonight! zzzzz....

Hello everyone and thanks Wizz for starting the new thread- great title BTW.

Claireybee- I have just dug my "mothers help" tea out of the cupboard and it does have fenugreek in but also fennel, aniseed, coriander, spearmint and a few others for good luck. I haven't yet started to smell sugary but am keeping a nose out!

Pecka, what a lovely post. I do try to think to myself that bf is only 6 months out of my entire life, and how can a restaurant, bar or clothes shopping compare- I have years and years more to go to them again. (I do know that we can bf after 6 months but I am aiming for that in the first instance, and then will see how it goes). It is hard to get it right though- recently I went to the dentist at a time when DD normally wouldn't want feeding, and returned 1.5 hours later to find DH had filled her with 8 oz of formula! Gutting. I guess that is one peril of not having a feeding routine in the day.

Louise76- Just to add my voice to everyone else's that formula doesn't solve everything. In fact it is a right PITA when you have to make a full bottle only to have to throw it down the sink when she only wanted a little suck. Also have you pointed out the price of formula to DH?!? You could put what you save towards a night out or even a weekend away when you stop!

Bouncingturtle- I saw the posts which suggested that maybe your LO was fussing because he wasn't actually hungry, but just wants comfort, soothing etc. maybe might have something in them? I am far far far from an expert, but have found sometimes DD can be "distracted" with jiggling, playing etc. and then even if it is only 10 mins then she feeds better IYSWIM. Also you said he gets distracted in the day, have you tried facing a blank wall, putting a blanket over him or even a hood up? I try these and they sometimes work.

Sleep is just such a lottery- last night DD managed 10pm till 6.30am. I have absolutely no idea why; I myself was up and down expecting her to wake up at any moment. Tonight I have managed the holy grail of putting her down awake and for her to settle herself (at the beginning of the night routine)- feeling pleased as it has worked for only about the fifth time in her entire life. A few coos and she was out like a light. I wonder for how long? Best go to bed just in case... but waiting up for DH to come in from work... so late, such a massively long long day with the baby...

Hi wobbegong - that IS a long day - DDH gets in at 7 and I'm going spare by then!

Congrats on the self settling, FAB!

I have started a thread in the BF section re cosleeping - does anyone else here do this? cosleeping

what is sleep? is it for the faint hearted.i have a 2 and a 4 year year old and although the 4 year is very good the 2 year old isn't. hope yours will be like ds1!!!!!!!!

Evening all!
Bouncing, Evie has been getting all fussy and keeps pulling off too, she then screams and screams and screams! Keeps trying to latch back on, gets a mouthfull and then is off and screaming again. I know you shouldn't but I find that if I offer her the other breast she will often take that happily for a bit and when she comes off for burping will come back to the first side again. No idea why, funny things babies! No green poos (touch wood) so it doesn't seem to be doing her any halm and certainly saves my eardrums!

Louise, I read your post out to my DH and he said "Is it their first?". He said it was just how he felt when we had DS1. He put an awful lot of pressure on me to stop BF and in the end we came to an agreement in which he mentioned nothing and I stopped at 8 weeks . I too found it really hard the first time and only my stubborness to prove I could do it (when he said I couldn't) got me through the worst bit. I did always feel a bit sad not to be BFing him anymore but relieved too not to have the pressure from DH. Thankfully experience has shown him that BF is much easier and he is being great about me BFing DD and only mentioned the F word once (when she was about a week old and screaming until 4 in the morning, my milk coming in had upset her I think). I spoke to him about stopping BF DD and he said if I am happy and she is happy then he is happy. Really hope you sort it out with your DH.

Pecka, that is a lovely post. Even when I bottlefed my DSs I always did it, it doesn't feel right for anyone else to do it! I do everything for DD and enjoy it too, nobody else has even changed her nappy!

Clairey, I have also just started shedding and there seems to be hair everywhere at the moment! I also seem to have a very itchy scalp at the moment too, am paranoid about lice but DH assures me that my head is clear!

Caz, DD also has at least 1 sleep between each feed, sometimes she will sleep all the way between and sometimes she will have 2 mini-naps between.

Wobbegong, am still drinking that tea too, don't know if it helps or not but not risking it by stopping! Certainly don't have as many breaks in flow as I did!

When are all the other BFers thinking of stopping? I originally thought I would like to go until weaning at 6 months but faced with the thought of stopping I am not sure. On the one hand I am selfish and would like to have more freedom in what I wear and I worry about what my boobs will look like after (even emptier I guess) but on the other hand I enjoy nursing her and I know I will never have this time again. Kind of hoping she self-weans when weaning like DS2 did.

Hi everyone and thanks for you words of support. Whatever would we do without MN!!

Beckle - I do the same thing, ds fusses more on the left, so swap him onto the right then offer him left after. Still bright yellow poos, so think the same as you, if no green poos then not too much fore milk.

Wobeggong - yes I'm going to try the distraction as I think I've been feeding him too often, so he feeds in short bursts and so carries this on into the night. Thanks for the tips!

Caz - yes it does feel awful when he does it in public, was nearly in tears on Wednesday when he just screamed and screamed. Oh and don't worry haven't DTD so your dh isn't alone! We did try but I just froze up and couldn't face it. Dh has been very good about it but I know he is keen to resume marital relations!

Well we shall see how we get on today! Anyway going to play with him now!

I'm thinking that I might have a go at the EASY routine, I see some of you fellow bf seem to be giving it a good go. Been a bit wary of routines because a lot of them seem to be incompatible with demand feeding but at 14 weeks he could space out his feeds more regularly.

morning! Forgot to say, yes, i am losing hair at a frightning rate...dd has loads so we'll look a right old pair when i go bald! . It is pg related and not bfding isn't it?

i do the swapping sides for fussiness too - they just seem to have v strong preferences sometimes! you would think i was trying to torture dd sometimes by putting her on a certain side, then 1 min later she's happy as larry on the other!

bouncing, i really wouldn't call easy a routine (well not the way i do it anyway!). i can't even remember if there are times involved or anything, and if there were i have totally disregarded them as i am v sceptical about bf-ing being fitted into times. also i think her bf-ing advice is v poor. ANYWAY all it means to me is t

morning all,
off to scotland today for mum's 70th. Millie's 5 th flight already! (i had to wait until i was 21 to go on my first)
conjuctivitis settling, thanks loucee. It is a bloody nightmare trying to get the ointment in her eyes, though.

4 more weeks until i go back to work

Hair - same here, keeping pulling loads out of the hair catcher in the shower when I watch my hair!!

Suey2 - Hope you have a lovely time in Scotland - which part are you going? Happy birthday to your mum too

Happy birthday to me! DS treated me and had a lovely long sleep this morning!

Also I love medised! Have been holding off giving him any as don't really like drugging them when so tiny but he was so snotty and miserable (and overtired) yesterday that last night I gave him some-he went into a proper deep sleep for the first time in weeks (quite scary actually that it can do that!) and slept for 4 hours, then for a couple of 3 hour stretches-so much better than waking up every 5 minutes! Has been pooing loads today though.

BT I'm with Caz on baby whisperer. I aim for eat activity sleep but pay absolutely no attention to times. We also frequently have eat activity eat activity eat activity sleep cos he goes nowhere near 3/4 hours between feeds. I think she talks complete shite when it comes to breastfeeding too, but I found the cries page useful, also to aim for a sleep within 1.5 hours to 2 hours of waking and to try to make the sleep a decent length. I havent really pushed the routine onto ds but just keep the easy thing in mind, that said if he wants to eat then sleep I don't stop him! I don't dream feed either (what i should really say is i read the book, ignored most of it but use the bits that make sense to me!)

Suey have a lovely time in Scotland

hi everyone,

happy birthday clairey and suey's mum!!

macdoodle - no I'm not S. African but have spent some time there - whereabouts are you from?

gosh that milk plus stuff costs a fortune!! Think I'm just going to hope my boobs provide enough milk for now... am having to express 12 oz for when I come into work for three hours so I think they must produce quite a lot!

beckle - I'm the same as you - wanted to BF for 6 months but now that that is approaching am aiming for a year or whenever DS self-weans. It will be a bit awkward as I should be going to some conferences from June onwards but I'd much rather miss them and keep BF

Caz10 - not much sex here either but occasionally manage to deliver. Have accepted that it will be all for DH's benefit as it were for the next few months as it is the last thing I ever feel like. But if the occasional burst makes him happy then that's fine with me. BTW DS is also in our room - we just do it while he's asleep. More worrying is the possibility of DD walking in but hasn't happened yet

wobbegong at the self-settling. I know I should but he always falls asleep feeding and then what am I supposed to do - wake him up and tell him to go back to sleep!! I just don't know how I'm going to do it - tips please!

oh and Caz - DS often sleeps on his side in our bed and I don't worry about it - much more worried about pillows or duvet smothering him which means I never sleep very well when he's there so I'm sure he's safe but I'm still sleep-deprived... anyway I wouldn't worry about your DD waking up more when you go back to work until she starts doing it - she might be sleeping through every night by then [wishful thinking emotion]

Happy birthday Clairey!

I seem to be doing an more of an AES kind of routine... but have managed to space his feeds out to more than 2 hours between them, last few days it has been nearer to 1 than 2 hours between feeds. Been bloody tiring though.

OK can someone tell me what this EASY thing is - does each letter stand for something? Eating, sleeping, active? And what is the Y?

Skid I found with dd that she gradually stopped falling asleep feeding as she got older. DS never has fallen asleep on the breast but still requires rocking to sleep most times-I'd rather he fed to sleep, far easier!

Macdoodle I have that nspcc ad you were talking about the other day now-made me jump! I second Skid's question, where are you from? Have spent time (just holidays) in PE, Grahamstown, Durban and Cape Town. Oh and was very lucky and while working in Botswana got to do a few free day trips to Madikwe-beautiful!

Oops just looked behind me and dd has coated ds's face with lip balm and has put my knickers (clean!) round his neck

Eat Activity Sleep You (my non following of it means I don't actually get much of a You!)

And TBH Milo sems to be doing well without you playing around with it so I wouldn't bother! I only got the book in desperation but actually can't be arsed to follow it anyway

LOL Clairey at your DD think my DD1 would love to do that just to scared of shouty mummy - though did find her with DD2 bent over double licking her toes this morning
DD2 seems to need to BF to fall asleep now was trying to avoid this so we just fed and as I put her in cot for nap she woke up and ....I left her and after moaning for 10 mins she has gone off What do thos co sleeping do for naps/bed time etc do they sleep in cot then ??
BF going sooooo well DD2 has had stonking cold so held off on trying bottles and really can't be arsed but going back to work 9 weeks on monday starting to scare me - will she starve in 10 hours do you think
Am from the scary capital of Johannesburg am afraid no where so nice as the Cape ...am actually british born with British parents who emigrated when I was a littly so grew up there trained there etc consider myself a true South African and consider that "home" though not been back for few years now as my dad had been coming here (my gran was here)...now she has died we may make trip there with new LO....also is my 20 year high school reunion this year so am considering a trip back for that!!

Hello all

Have a lovely time up here in Scotland, Suey. I hope you have packed some winter woolies for you and your lo as the forecast is for snow, sleet and hail this weekend, and I thought it was spring!

I'd like to second BT - what would we do without MN?! I'm feeling much better today as dd slept for a whole 12 hours last night (7.30-7.30)and it seems to have made her cold a bit better! That gave DH and I time to relax and have a chat over a glass of wine. He apologised for what he said the other day about wanting me to give up bf - I think we were both stressed as dd was acting up a bit. He says he is happy for me to continue bf until I want to stop (I would like to make it to the magical 6 month mark) Thanks for your post Beckle - it sounds as if your dh had similar opinions to mine with your first dc.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend

Hi everyone

Suey have a lovely time, is the event being held in your parents house or perhaps the hotel?! I'll wave through the window just in case as it's my shortcut to the town.

Macdoodle were you from anywhere near Sun City? I've been there a few times. Are you into Slings at all? Rhubarb and Custard is a great site that is run and owned by a lovely S African lady.

Happy Birthday Clairey did you get any nice pressies?

Oh decisions decisions, DH has been told about some contract work (6mths -1 yr) in London, it isn't forgone conclusion he would get the contract but we need to decide if we would go if he gets it. We've been up in Scotland for 4 years and I thoroughly enjoy our lifestyle and have met some brilliant friends but my family is down south and I miss them sometimes. The money is good for the contract which is a big pull but I imagine it would soon get whittled away by massive rent (we would let out our house up here) plus I think DH would work v long hours and his social life would get v v busy, Really unsure what to do.

routines I sort of aim for EASY but like some of you have already said I don't pay attention to feeding times etc but DS does have lots of naps during the day rather than a morning one a midday one etc

Hope you all have a good weekend, we have snow forcast!

lol clairey, think knicker and lip balm incident makes you a laid-back mother rather than a neglectful one. I always hover anxiously when DD is near DS - mind you not without reason - she gives him a good bite every few days (always when DH is looking after them)!

macdoodle - As a silly foreigner I found JoBurg very scary but I know it is supposed to be a great city once you get over that. Clairey I have also been to all the places you mention except Madikwe - did you ever go to the Grahamstown festival? It was fantastic when I went

Macdoodle I know it is such a pain giving them a bottle when you are used to whipping your boob out in 2 seconds flat but I would really persevere if she is going to have to take a bottle when you go back - I think it is common for them to refuse a bottle at this age