December 2006 drag yourselves over here!

[Indith]

Oooops no room to link to old thread!

Lol at AQ forgetting that she is pg Sure the madness will pass. And don't worry about my chocolate supply, I live round the corner from Tesco

Jabber I think you should pop ds in the post and I'll sned him on holiday with all my clibing friends, they do similarly dangerous stunts on a larger scale. He'd have a ball

Oh, I suspect nearly all of us judge other people by their outsides and ourselves by our insides, IYKWIM

We used to have neighbours who especially made me feel hopelessly inadequate: hugely in control, apparently, and seemingly sane. The other day, some other neighbours' dd, now a teenager, told me she'd been to play at their house and had to put each toy away as she played with it in case of mess....at the age of about six....and now I come to think of it, their kitchen had NO mess or sign of kids in it at all (they had two). Which is all a bit chilling and a good reminder that being less than perfectly together is a healthy thang...

...said Elibean, glancing at the chaos on her desk and frantically rationalizing...

I think mostly we can make things tick along reasonably well as long as nothing comes up like illness, or moving house, or job problems! There's just no amount of time, energy and brain space to do it all, jabber, but house does sound v.lovely and worth it. And the school for ds1 of course!

I do always feel that I stack up rather lacking compared to other mothers IYKWIM. Basic insecurities and all that

I was just going over what jabs ds1 needs for school and discovered that the chicken pox "booster" he got last week was totally unneccessary I am mad at the clinic and even more at myself. I'm supposed to be the Vax-Nazi mom doing singles instead of MMR and all that and here I let this happen. I just feel absolutely nauseous about the whole thing. And it cost $100 on top of all that!

I generally feel OK as a Mum but hopeless as a housewife - my house is usually a tip (except for DDs room and the kitchen and bathroom which I am obsessive about cleaning), I always start tea far too late to make a decent job of it and when visitors come I am horrendous for a week with hysterical cleaning efforts (followed up with last minute shoving of junk into cupboards). DH knows when I'm in a 'my god this pplace is a tip, lets clean' mood and stays well clear. I've decided there is more to life than housework, my FIL and MIL think I'm lazy, well I'm convinced they do anyway .

Jabber - have you seen the latest research on MMR? It is fairly good research and pretty much disproves the autism link. The Measles jab is the worrying one of the childhood vaccines as it can cause fever in a substantial percentage of children (inc DD)and in a tiny minority of cases there are reports of 'brain fever'(like meningitus fever - I am not a medical bod, don't know the technical bits) which can lead to autistic symptoms. HOWEVER the link may be coincidental anyway i.e. the percentages are low enough that it might be coincidence that the child was ill after receiving the vaccine rather than the vaccine having caused the illness. I know quite a lot about autism from studying it at uni and working with people with autism and in the vast majority of cases it is present from birth or due to brain trauma e.g. a car accident. What I am trying to say is don't wory about the chicken pox jab... although I would be annoyed about the cost. Can you take it up with the clinic?

Jabber, thinking on it, I would also be annoyed that DS has been given something he doesn't need and with potential side effects. I would take it up with the clinic, at least if nothing else they won't give anyone else an unnecessary vaccine.

and don't be mad at yourself... it is the clinic's responsibility to know these things, that's what they are paid for.

Jabber, you're far too hard on yourself, stop it now!! Not your fault, just one of those things. I feel the same about being a mum in many ways but I try and fight it because I get hyper anxious otherwise and am a worse mother as a result.
FGS needs to advise us lennied on the housekeeping thing as she is a flylady(baby?), I need to to it b4 the new baby arrives so I can cope but not at the rate I'm going. I HATE things being untidy but have gradually just learned to live with it. DP and I are ordering loads of storage at the mo though to attempt to deal with it as it's sooo stressful. I am extremely lucky to have a cleaner, I would never sacrifice her, would rather have kids in rags and downsize than lose my cleaner. How middleclass do I sound???
Have just found out joy of joys that the family room at the wedding we're going to on Friday is 2 rooms and even better ds1 can sleep in a bunk bed to his eternal joy!! I am so relieved, and the hotel is lovely. Was hating having to share a room with him, no space to myself and ds2 still has 2 naps a day so would have been v.awkward. Bless my dad, he's paid for it and all!

Thanks guys I ate about 2000 calories of comfort food to compensate and I do plan to say something at the clinic. There's just no excuse for them to screw up like that.

lennied, have read quite a bit of research on the possible links and I still go along with jimjams (if she still around MN?) that there are probably 7% of autistic kids triggered by vaccinations in some way. I'm sort of overly paranoid about ds1 since he has sensory processing disorder and is rather OCD. He just seems like the kind of kid who could have an autistic trigger point. I wondered for a long time if he had asperger's but the play therapist and occupational therapist think not so we have decided not to do any further testing.

AQ, so glad to hear about the rooms! It sounds as if you all will have a lovely time.

Jabber, I understand your concerns entirely, it is still a contentious area and hopefully there will be more research. Autism and aspergers are a continuum - we all have some autistic traits, but those who are diagnosed as having autism have most of the traits at a more significant level. I know plenty of academics with aspergers diagnosis who have what appear to be 'normal' relationships. A healthy upbringing with plenty of play and interaction with parents/siblings/other relatives and friends is the best way to help any child develop 'normal' characteristics whether they have a diagnosis or not so even if you think your DS1 has some characteristics that might pre-dispose him, you can prevent it becoming an issue with plenty of social rule-making early on. Do you try to interrupt his OCD tendencies? If you do little things that are out of his comfort zone, like if he likes things in a certain place move them around a little every day or if he plays a game in a certain way interrupt and change it a bit. If he learns that it is ok when things are different then that can help to reduce his OCD. Interrupting task routines is good to do with all children, and with yourself as it can help prevent lots of hang-ups.

Right, back to Mum mode, AQ rooms sound lovely, and we've booked a holiday! Are going to the Greek Islands on a cruise. Really excited, shame about the 4 hour flight with 'can't sit still for a minute' DD.

AQ - I've seen those fly threads and I'm scared. There is NO WAY I could keep up. Those ladies are seriously on a mission. Their fly lists for one day are equivalent to one month of my housework , maybe we should have a baby fly for less enthusiastic housekeeping.

((Jabber)) I think its all been said, but extra chocolate and hugs coming your way.

I'm a fly-chicken too, Lennied.

I was known, as a child, as 'Messy Elibean' but then again, my mother has a super-controlled environment (comes from growing up in wartime Paris, I suspect) so in comparison my probably normal teenage room was a tip. Admitted tendency to clutter, and I can magically avoid seeing plates in the sink (dh can't ) but I'm happy with my level of mess most days...

...Castles has seen it though, and may have to snap me out of my denial

pc not working so quick message from dh's phone.

Dsis had a little girl, megan emily, 7lbs 15oz. 8.48am on saturday. Terrible time, 53 hours of labour, failed to dilate past 8cms so had emcs. Poor thing. Baby is gorgeous and worth it though!

Will read what i've missed and add a pic of megan when dh fixes comp!

Jabber, hope you're feeling better about it all.

Lennied, greek islands sound grand! We've got 5 hrs in the car to the borders, could be interesting but hopefully ds2 will sleep a lot.

I have a little terror on my hands this week, ds2 is having tantrums about everything and driving me mad. Refused lunch and tea yesterday went to bed on nowt but water as I was not pandering to it. I'm finding it hard to take - my little angel is red-faced, screaming and throwing things. Grrr. DP coping alright, says ds is picking up on me which could be true as I'm still a hormonal cow!

Lennied (and Eli!) there is a flybaby thread, I was going to catch it next time it started (flylady proper much too scary I agree). I'm sure BP got flying at one point or am I wrong?? Just one small step a day in theory. I must admit I agree with the theory that 5 mins or 15 mins here and there add up to a lot! I give myself 5 mins per room if I have a spare half hour and achieve quite a lot. The rules 'never leave the house without the washing and/or dishwasher on' and 'never leave a room without taking something with you' are quite effective for me. But having said that, I stop again and it builds up. I am quite determined though for no.3!!

Hi everyone! I've been so busy but glad to see you are carrying on with the chattering
Jabber, I know exactly how you feel and am totally with you on the nazi-vacs thing As I think I said before the Wakefield/autism link was on the MMR booster, not that that has much to do with chicken pox, but it makes me so angry that they are pumped needlessly full of this stuff.
Big congrats to Olihan's sister and niece!
Hope you are feeling ok AQ? When do you find out (if you are) the sex? Excited for you but so pleased it's not me!!
Eli, I thought your house was extremely tidy. But then I am also one of those people who magically sees through the mess When are you going to come over to see us? Or do you fancy meeting somewhere? Hope it's gone/going well with osteopath. If it's any consolation, DS didn't walk until he was 2!!! You'd never know: he's brilliant at football and generally running very fast!

DH is on 'gardening leave' until 14th April. He's driving me mad, in a lovely way!

I saw on FB that WB's dad had a heart attack. If you are reading this lovey, I hope he is on the mend.

Must go, the tidal wave that is DD1 is back from nursery ...

Hi everyone! I've been so busy but glad to see you are carrying on with the chattering
Jabber, I know exactly how you feel and am totally with you on the nazi-vacs thing As I think I said before the Wakefield/autism link was on the MMR booster, not that that has much to do with chicken pox, but it makes me so angry that they are pumped needlessly full of this stuff.
Big congrats to Olihan's sister and niece!
Hope you are feeling ok AQ? When do you find out (if you are) the sex? Excited for you but so pleased it's not me!!
Eli, I thought your house was extremely tidy. But then I am also one of those people who magically sees through the mess When are you going to come over to see us? Or do you fancy meeting somewhere? Hope it's gone/going well with osteopath. If it's any consolation, DS didn't walk until he was 2!!! You'd never know: he's brilliant at football and generally running very fast!

DH is on 'gardening leave' until 14th April. He's driving me mad, in a lovely way!

I saw on FB that WB's dad had a heart attack. If you are reading this lovey, I hope he is on the mend.

Must go, the tidal wave that is DD1 is back from nursery ...

sorry clicked post twice

love seeing that my house is 'extremely tidy' twice. I must have done a frantic tidy up because you were coming . We're actually fairly unviral atm, for the first time since Xmas (and second time since September) so would love to come and see you - off to visit gran in Paris Friday, some time after that?? Are you here or away?

WB, if you're here, big hugs to you and hope your Dad is ok....sounds v shocking, I'm so sorry.

AQ, am most reassured to read your description of flybabying...think I sort of do that already, the few minutes per room, washing on, pick up and carry thing. I waste a lot of energy hating doing it, because it goes against my lifelong grain, but I do it

Actually, just remembered the dishwasher bursting into flames when we were about to go to bed - still leave it on when out, but never with a peaceful mind

Hi all

Just back online after the house move - yay. Am not ashamed to admit just how much I miss t´Internet

Haven´t had chance to catch up on all your posts yet but hope all is well with everybody.

The move went well but blimey is it hard work with a 15 mo on the middle. Still most of our boxes our unpacked and my Mum arrived today so I have absolutely no excuse now not to finish off the unpacking once and for all.....

DS had MMR last week and despite my fears everything seems to be OK at the mo although we were warned that side effects can be delayed. He behaved like a trouper throughout and the Nurse said he was one of the best behaved little boys she had seen (proud mummy emoticon)

Oh, yes, I did flybaby in the dim and distant past. It was fantastic, but when you fall out of the habit of S&S and shining sinks it all falls apart remarkably quickly. I still clean the bath every morning, and do a quick once over the rest of the bathroom, but my dining table is heaving with stuff waiting to be 'filed', and my stairs are doubling up as shelves at the moment. Disgraceful. I'll start back on flybaby when it starts again.

I still don't know where I stand with the MMR, although both of mine have had it. When I was 10 I was in hospital for a long time, and I saw so many children with measles complications. It's a toughie.

Oli, hope your sister is recovering and managing to enjoy her little bundle. Huge congratulations to her

Thinking of you WB.

Oli, meant to say congrats to your sister - sounds like a horrible time but a wonderful ending!

Welcome back online, Bebespain...glad the MMR went ok. Both of mine have had it, I was nervous both times, dd1 had a slight reaction (rash and temp) a few days later but dd2 had nowt at all....

BP, love the description of your stairs and can relate

Has anyone heard from FGS? Wonder how the op went? Hope you're ok FGS!

WB, hope everything is OK.

Congrats to Oli's sis. Here's hoping I didn't throw out c-section vibes! It sounds a lot like my first time around.

lennied, thanks for the tips on interrupting his routine. I really don't do that too often b/c of some other issues we are working on but will keep it in mind for later on.

castles, I knew you could relate as we have similar ds1's. I'm starting to become resigned that it happened, it's over and he seems fine but am still over-eating a bit

flylady is simply beyond me. Dh commented today on how much easier it is to keep house now that most of our things are at the new house, lol.

Oh, and welcome back bebespain! I hope my move goes as well as yours

Hi Guys,

I am fine. Op was meant to be a day case but I ended up staying overnight due to a bad reaction to the morphine (my blood pressure dropped too much). I'm at home now. I can weight bear a bit but cant bend it. The ended up doing arthroscopy, ITB release and shaved the patella. Sounds very technical but hopefully after 3 weeks on crutches and lots of physio I may be in better shape.

Poor DH. DD1 was sick on Friday night, DD2 on Saturday night, and he was ill Sunday night. Thankfully MIL is here and helping lots, but she goes tonight...

Oli, Congrats on the arrival of DNiece... was it difficult being on the 'other end' during labour? I've a relative who is thinking about having a baby and she keeps mentioning how rubbish her DH would be, am sure she's working up to asking round for someone else. Not sure I would be any good at all though, far too squeamish.

FGS - I hope that is good news on the op, and can you not chain MIL to kitchen sink convince MIL to stay longer?

Flybaby sounds good, I'll keep a look out for a new one. I'm feeling suitably ashamed now that I am going to have a big clean today. DD is scared of the vacuum so have to carry her round whilst vac-ing so that'll double as my exercise for the day too .

Hope it's a speedy recovery FGS. At the least the operation is over with

That's funny Jabber, I over-eat for similar reasons. Sometimes I wonder if certain types of parents have certain types of children. But then maybe I wonder too much

Is anyone else thinking of putting their LO into some sort of nursery if they don't work? DD2 is the most delightful child but she is such a handful and I know what I'm talking about here; I have SN child who is a breeze in comparison. I just feel so guilty about it. Going to put her name down for a place just up the road (she won't go until she's 2) and see what happens.