December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

Wobbegone - no fixed nap times here either!
Been toying with the idea of trying a bumbo seat but not certain he is ready for one yet. They have one at Tiny Treasures so I might try him in it.

wobb I have an industrial strength hospital electric pump it is amazing!!!!

nap times hmm difficult one ....I tend to be out and about a lot - doing stuff visiting and taking DD1 to her million activities ...
So ....I do try to get her to have an early nap after breakfast if only half hour otherwise she gets very grumpy (and then I can shower)....then I tend to be out over lunch and she usually sleep a few hours in car or pram......and then she usually sleeps in pram when I go get DD1 from school (5min walk)and I leave her in pram for an hour or so ...she does to tend to get a bit grumpy then at bedtime so she obviously needs it ...so saying she has now been asleep in her cot for 3 hours .....

I have been working on nap times over the last few days and have been observing when she goes down etc. So slowly I think we are working towards 3 substantial and one short nap a day - something like: wake approx 6.30am, nap 8 - 9; short nap approx 11 - 11.30; long nap after lunch; half hour nap 4 - 4.30. This is all ISH as she is still erratic with feeding and waking times. But we are still feeding usually 8 x per day including 10pm and usually around 2.30am.

skid my milk has 3 separate thicknesses. THere is the cream on the top, which is probably 5-10%, another 50% opaque then the last 40% or less slightly more transparent- maybe that's the area your NCT mate is referring to.

Naps. If i am at home. up at 6.30/7, nap 45 mins starting any time from 8 till 9. 2-2.5 hour longer nap starting 12-1, afternoon short nap 4ish. I don't let her sleep after 5pm. bed at 7. If i am out and about it can vary- but i aim for about 3-3.5 hours nap time in total.

Dont mention naps to me!! Major bone of contention at the moment. DD NEEDS to nap quite alot I aim for 8.30-10, 11.30-1, 2.30-4 and a catnap about 5.30

HOWEVER, she goes off to sleep no bother in here cot but wakes up 20,30 or 40 minutes later and there is no getting her back off. She ends up getting up for a bit getting really overtired and started the whole performance again.

She hasnt napped for a decent stretch for weeks and I really dont understand it!!

Its not like she cant settle herself or get herself back off after sleep cycles as she slept 6.30pm - 4.30am last night11

Any ideas??

On the feeding front, sadly not much improvement, today havent maganged to latch her at all and when I did a little bit she just sucked the end of my nipple. It is with a big, heavy, sad sigh that i think this is probably breastfeeding over. i have to try and not think about it or it really does my head in.

Skid - my milk is watery at the bottom about 15%, 70% mid consistency and 15% hind milk.

Oh god, even writing about it on here has set it all off! Ive just emailed my BFC, see if she has any ideas

Hi everyone

Happy Easter!

Had a lovely day out in Ayr today, walked along the beach which DD loved (poor DS was finding it hard to breath with such strong winds along the front). I love these long weekends, gives us a chance to do some lovely family things in a nice relaxed and laid back attitude.

Skid my milk is approximately 5% very watery almost transparent bottom, 80% whiter coloured milk then 15% darker cream/yellow coloured cream at the top. I read somewhere (possibly Kellymom) that you should only swirl breastmilk and not shake as it has detrimental effects to the properties of the milk but not sure how correct that is (thinking about those of us that jog etc?!)
LOL at your Mum's conversation, I took that as she was trying to give the woman confidence to feed infront of her colleagues.

Louise agree with Suey about cycles returning whilst you're BFing, with DD mine returned when she was 10 months old (was still breastfeeding her approximately 3 times a day)

Hope you all have a lovely weekend

Pecka, DD amazes me by having some very short naps and then appearing to be quite refreshed. Today we were out at a friend's house from midday to 6pm and she had a 5 min nap about 2pm and about 20mins at 4.30pm and that was it! She didn't even fall asleep in the car on the way home and yet was pretty good the whole time with only a few moments of grouchiness. She sleeps really well at night tho so I guess maybe she only needs those shorter naps during the day? The only thing I can suggest is that she seems quite happy to talk to herself in her cot, look at her mobile etc if there's a bit of light to see by and will sometimes doze off again - have you tried just leaving her for a bit? I have heard others talk about white noise??

MacD don't leave it too long to try that bottle!! Wouldn't want all that milk to go to waste and also I think it should be used within XX? months of freezing (less than 3 I thnk but don't quote me!) Well done on all the expressing though!!

pecka i usually give millie a dummy when it is nap time- she now associates it with sleep i think. Not to everyone's liking though, i appreciate

DD seems to sleep ab awful lot compared to everyone else's LOs, perhaps as she is one of the younger ones? Tyypically she will go back to sleep after her 6.30/7ish feed for a couple of hours. Then she will nap for 2-3 hours after next feed, at least an hour after the next one and then half an hour in the evening before last feed at 10. When she is awake she is very active and alert though! My DSs always needed a lot of sleep too.

Last night DD fed at 10, I put her to bed awake at 11 and she slept through until my alarm went off at 7! That is 4 nights now that she has done this so she was obviously ready to drop that dream feed!

Suey, I don't think it hurts a baby at all to associate a dummy with sleep, my DSs both did! A bit of comfort is good for them. DD will no longer take the dummy at all, looks disgusted (or screams in outrage) when I give it to her. It is lovely that she feels secure enough to settle with her thumb though but it feels like everytime I put her down she pops it in! Ever so cute though...

Pecka, your post made me well up a bit so I can imagine how sad you feel. You have given it such a good go though! Hopefully your BFC will come up with some ideas. Will you continue to express do you think?

no i reckon it's the same, beckle- millie is asleep from 7-10pm so that works out exactly the same amount of sleep as your LO gets.

Bad night with ds - he slept from 6.30 - 9, then 9.30 - Midnight, but then woke up pretty much every hour for a feed, got to the point when I just kept forgetting what I had just done - I changed his nappy around 1.30am as he had pooed, but couldn't for the life of me remember if I had just fed him or whether I had just woken up and decided to change him there and then!
This continued until about 7am, but which time I was absolutely shattered. I made DH get up as ds was fully awake and I desperately needed more sleep. So fed him and DH took him downstairs. He brought him back up at 9am for another feed at which point I got up, but made DH take ds away after his feed so I could have a leisurely shower and just relax. Feel like a new woman!
Pecka because you have tried so hard. Hope that your BFC comes up with some useful advice. I'm pretty sure that some women have managed to feed exclusively EBM for a good few months. Oh, and ds naps like your dd too - I find the only way he gets a substantial nap during the day is if I take him out in the car or the buggy - if he is still asleep when we get to where we are going or when we get back I just leave him to wake himself up.

Mathilda had a good night last night (snoozing away whilst I wash having a weep and reading MORE about expressing/relactation/breast refuslal etc etc)

We were out at her normal bedtime at 7 so she had an extra catnap then went to bed at 8. She was less sleepy than usual so cooed and gooed in her cot until about 8.30 when she fell asleep on her own. Next heard from her at 6.20am!!!!!! So she went almost 11 hours without feeding.

Do you think as she is doing so well without breastfeeding i should consider that this situation is actually better for her than me keep on pushing breastfeeding?

as for dummy for naps, try that!! she has no problem going to sleep in first place its just staying asleep that is the problem!

Pecka - not bf is not the end of the world. Mathilda knows you love her and that is the most improtant thing.

Evie rolled over whilst on her tummy to her back yesertday. She was so shocked she cried. I think she is going to be a coward - I sneezed yeserday today and that set off big tears.
Blimey it si windy here...oh I am being summonded.

I also have to make my hot cross buns today (call be Nigella).

There is not point beating yourself up about not bf her - otherwise you'll end up resenting her and missing out on this lovely baby stage,

Oh and re: dummies - I admit I tend to let ds have his dodie at times when he is awake as well. If he drops it I leave it but if he starts fretting I'll offer to him and let him take it if he wants it. He has it at night, but not necessarily when he is going to sleep, but when he wakes up.
I know that this will probably make it a battle when it comes to making him give it up. But that will only be the first battle I will have during his childhood - once he starts insisting he doesn't want to get dressed or go to school, or complains that I don't let him stay up late to watch a film, or that I insist he is home before Midnight when he goes out with his mates when he is 16.
I was made to feel guilty as well glancing through a parenting book when it said that dummy use can lead to weaning before 6 months and speech delay. But then it also says it can interfere with establishment with breastfeeding (which it certainly hasn't in my case, or for you other ladies who also bf and offer dummies).
Sometimes I think these parenting books can lead to us mums thinking we are doing everything wrong, when sometimes trying to follow them to rigourously is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. My hats are off to you ladies who have the wisdom to take out the bits out that are relevent to your los and ignore the rest - unfortunately I am far too literal to do that!
Well that was a long post! Hope there was some pearls of wisdom in there

Bouncing - I think you're right about the books. They are good reference if you're stuck with a problem, but they can easily make you feel like you're doing things all wrong. I've had times when they've made me feel awful, but I have a happy and healthy baby - even though he doesn't sleep through and he does use a dummy.

Am I mad? I miss being pregnant...

Don't want another baby yet as I know I wouldn't cope with LOs close together agewise, but would consider surrogacy as I did enjoy pregnancy (the first 8 months anyway). Am I crazy? Is it just hormonal?

ambi - I am withj you. I would consider surgercy but only if I can keep them for the 1st year

umm yup crazy

I'm with Macdoodle I'm afraid

Ambi, afraid I hated being PG. Well maybe that's bit strong but I certainly wouldn't be keen on being PG again unless I was desperate for another DC. I'm sure there are plenty of couples out there who would be overwhelmed by your offer tho!

Pecka, only you can know what feels right for you. But cazzy is right, you will regret it if this prevents you enjoying the amazement and joy of a small baby. I love love love my little Bea to 100 million pieces and she has never been near my breast.

your all so right, its not the be all and end all - its being nearly a week now since we were last regularly breastfeeding and I have enjoyed being able to just enjoy her on the days I give myself permission to not worry about the BF. I dont think it has affected my bond with her but I think I will look back at this time with a touch of regret.

She is a bit constipated too - will this be getting used to formula? I need to hire a hospital pump or something because im not expresing enough for her to have only EBM by a long shot.

Tried to latch her on last night and she just screams and I just cry, its the worst feeling. im going to stop even trying, too upsetting. unless BFC has any new ideas to try.

***

Pregnancy - I have HATED it all 3 times (4 in miscarriage) - I cant stand the nausea and just how long it takes!!!! I cant promise I wont ever be preggo again tho, but FOUR kids scares me!!! Just love ickle babies!

Pecka, mixed feeding is fine too - you are still giving her a bit of your immunity. You can even mix the two in one bottle if you bring them to the same temp first.

Yes the poos are more solid with formula. You might like to try different brands though. We tried 3 before settling on a preferred one.

I love watching Bea as she feeds from her bottle. The complete look of contentment and utter abandon to the sensation. And she is so cute with the "drunk baby" look afterwards. And its lovely to watch others feeding her too, especially DD1.