December 2007: It's all worth it for the smiles.

[claraquitetirednow]

I've never started a new thread before - has this worked?

Hi all! suey there is a thread on here with a link to that article, quite funny and nice at the same time. I'll try to find it!

LOVELY to meet loucee and beanstermummy and ds and dd!! I am laughing at people's dh's reactions to MN friends, mine made me promise to text as soon as I got there, as he was convinced loucee and BM were in fact middle aged men out to steal our dd! . I think this place has been a wonderful support, and I am looking forward to when we are all posting saying things like "1st day at school, eekk"! and loucee - i know, WHY did we not have cake?! that was my 1st thought on the train home!

amani - thanks, we are getting there with the bf-ing - i THINK! it isn't painful anymore which is amazing, but it's still a constant worry because dd is such a tiddler

on that note, dundee and others, my wee dd must take the prize for being titchiest, we still have not hit 10lbs at 13wks! (although actually we might have now, she just hasn't been weighed this week). the stupid HV got us so worried to the point we ended up paying to see a paed privately, who more or less asked us why we were there as dd was so blatantly healthy! It was great reassurance and also meant we could confidently tell the HV where to shove her formula top ups! (sorry, i know it works for some people, but i was/am so concerned re my supply, and it was just sooooo time consuming - i don't mind bf-ing OR ff-ing - but not both!!). dd has now started screaming blue murder when we try to use a bottle anyway, must try the warm water on the teat trick next time.

thingamijig (sp?!) that's awful!! poor you. i guess the upside like someone else has said is you know someone is watching out - we have very nosey neighbours, just old biddies, curtains always twitching, but i feel that they would notice quite quickly if something was wrong.

heee lizzer, i now vaguely say to dh "someone was telling me...xyz" and just hope he thinks it's someone from work or something... i'm sure he knows though!

the times article

Heehee! Glad I'm not the only one, for a minute I thought you were all going to laugh at me for being sad enough to mix internet and RL! The conversation did make me realise that I know very few of your real names though...(those that met up did you find it hard to use names rather than chat nicknames?)

Macdoodle I am actually in Weston(and a non driver ), Bristol is easy for me but I'd have to look into trains etc to see how feasible anywhere else is!

Insy maybe it's a sign...first you get your period then you have contraception issues...look forward to your dd arriving in Dec08 then!

hi all

at the conversation with your DH clairey - he must have thought you had friends with very wierd names! I also do the 'a mum told me that..' rather than fessing up the person is from mumsnet

have only read the first page of the article on mn but it made me a bit emotional - mnetters can be so lovely (sniff)

BT - whereabouts are you in the NE? I think Pecka is in Newcastle and is there someone else as well? Dundee??? Not sure. would be fun to meet up

kelbel - my ds suddenly won't go near a bottle either. which is a right nightmare as i was hoping to go into work for a few half days starting this week. will try warming the teat but does anyone else have any suggestions?

macdoodle - glad your DD is ok now

dh is really p*ssing me off today. DD has a D&V bug and he is stomping around and snapping at me because we are having a rubbish weekend and missing a party today - well it's hardly my fault she's ill is it? grumpy git

Skid - I am in Thornaby near Stockton, but we go to Church in Durham - St. Nic's in the Marketplace, so would be up for meeting you there. I think you are right about Pecka, wonder if she'll be up for meeting up too!

Skid (and anyone else whose baby is refusing the bottle) - try Mam teats. We had this problem at about exactly this point with dd1 and tried everything under the sun. Other tricks - get someone else to feed, distract them when feeding (eg put them under a mobile). But it was the change of teats that did it for us!! This time I didn't risk it and dd2 has had a bottle almost every day from about three weeks!

feeding gone tits up (literally) again here

am gutted and exhausted with it. i just want to feed her fgs!!!!

she will only take the breast under certain conditions - she wont feed for comfort or when tired.

if she is too hungry or too stimulated or over tired there is just no way and she gets upset if i even try.

Have only managed to breastfeed her 6 times in two days

WHY WHY WHY????

hi pecka, have answered you on bf thread. am not much use but at least it will keep it bumped up and someone else might be able to help.

clara i wish we'd done that with the bottles - i was so adamant about getting back to ex-bfing - but i wish we'd kept a wee EBM top up in there somewhere - she freaks out if i so much as put a bottle to her lips...and i am meant to be doing some days in work too...plus a night off would be nice!

caz10 thanks isnt it funny that we have completely opposite breast/bottle refusal problems! They are little pickles - good job so gorgeous !

i know, it's silly really, i was so worried i wouldn;t be able to bf now i'm pissed off she won't take a bottle, poor wee soul can't win! i really feel for you though, I always thought I'd be ambivalent re whether I bf or not, then when it came to the time when the HV etc were making me think I'd have to stop I went nuts.
i think it becomes more important to you when it's threatned, if that makes sense.

completely!! i keep on thinking that it would be way easier if I didnt mind either way but there is nothing harder than WANTING to do it and for whatever reason it not going well.

I actually have a physically heavy heart without it - I know that sounds dramatic but I do!!

someone on a thread somewhere on here said something about realising they'd never look down on their baby's head as they bf again - i still well up at that! I have truly hated bf-ing, and still worry about it not being best for dd cos she's tiny...but the thought of stopping is so indescribably awful and i don't know why.

must be the bloody hormones!

by the way i have started my More Milk today - am i always going to smell like curry now?!

OMG I'm always mentioning MN in RL, but then again I have no friends billy no mates...
Insy, I fancied the coil too, but DH doesn't want to and is happy using condoms, plus the cleanup is easier [tmi] Might get the coil fitted anyway, I have to wait for a period though, oh that might be a long wait.
Pecka, sorry it's not going well and I don't really have any advice as we're on bottles now. Try not to be upset about not BFing if it comes to that, it's not the end of the world, the guilt free wine has helped me

i think the hormone fluctuations with her keep refusing to feed dont help

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/496644 this thread has just really upset me - all of this positive stuff is what i want - why doesnt dd!

at nap times im never sure how to get her to sleep because the most obvious thing to me she wont take

i wonder if ive fucked it all up by paying attention to EASY etc etc from the start instead of just going with it. i made a point of always putting her down awake so she learnt to self settle and now she doesnt equate breast to comfort i dont think

insy i'm so impressed you have the energy!!
my chosen method is being too tired to even contemplate it!

insy i'm so impressed you have the energy!!
my chosen method is being too tired to even contemplate it!

It's understandably upsetting knowing the emphasis there is on breast feeding and how it's the best thing possible no matter what. It's not that I don't disagree with that, I believe that if it's causing distress for mother or baby, how can it be the best thing?

oh sorry, on dh's cruddy laptop now.

aawww pecka i honestly don't think the self settling etc will have made a difference, don't beat yourself up over it. looking back i'm sure i half starved dd to death cos she didn't wake for feeds and i didnt know to waker her, plus stupid-arse HV said 5hrs between feeds was ok....

But what's done is done, no point in looking back.

can you speak to your bfc tomorrow?

pecka - don't blame you trying EASY on bf probs, we did EASY with bith ds's and no issues - I'm not saying that to make you feel bad only that by using a routine you're not to blame - I hope that comes a cross like I mean it too

clairey! dc in 9 months is what I'm afraid of! must get better at using condoms thanks for all your comments tho, its playing on my mind a bit!

it's weird isn't ambi? i wasn't all that bothered before, just vaguely thought it might be easier not to have to sterilise bottles...now it is this very emotive subject! you're right though, disressed mum/baby is not good. i think it's when it's not your choice isn't it? i'm sure i'll be quite happy to go to ff when i'm ready, i think it was just that it wasn't going to be my choice at that point.

oooh too heavy for a sunday night! how are you anyway?!

dont get me wrong ive always fed whenever she wants it but because of E A S the sleep point is seperate from the food so feeding to sleep was never an issue which I WAS happy about but now think maybe it hasnt helped with these problems.
hey ho!

i know, i always get worried when dd falls asleep straight after a feed cos she's missed out the A bit (and then obviously the world will end...!)

Hi everyone

Ahh huge sigh of relief that the out inlaws have been and gone, phew! First time they have seen us in 11 wks (huge fall out, still not resolved but we at least they say the children so we don't feel too bad if it's another 3 months!)

Caz that's exactly how I was about the feeding with DD. Whilst I was pregnant with her I had the attitude that I would try bfing and if it worked great and if I couldn't do it then we'd go to bottles but omg having the first 5wks totally unbearable then a further 5 wks of just about coping I felt very resilient and then very determind and before I knew it I didn't wean her until 6 months then stopped bfing at 18 months, she never would take a bottle either. This time round the feeding has been much better but I am really glad we do the one bottle of ebm because I'm sure it's things like that which help me to feel more relaxed about the feeding

Yay, finally my jeans are starting to feel like they have some room in them, I bought some new super sports bras last week so my aim is to go out jogging a couple of times a week to help the sensible eating I'm trying to do.

macdoodle really glad to hear your wee one is doing well

thingamgig how awful for you, have you spoken to the neighbour yet?

ohh time to go and watch Lost , it's getting good don't you think?

hi loucee! we are lost with Lost, watched 1st ep of new series then forgot till last week - very confused now!

meant to say, baby show is coming to the secc in april looks good!

did you just go straight to a cup with dd? i'm a bit worried cos 6mths/weaning is going to totally clash with me going back to work.

Sorry to hear about your problems Pecka. No advice to offer, but massive sympathy, sounds horrid.

Am loving that Bea now holds her head up much better. She's starting to look like a real little person! And her laugh is gorgeous.

1-all in the cricket I see. (played here in Wellington!)