January 08 - shiny new-year babies!

[Naetha]

Thought I'd start this thread now as I think there's already a couple of people to go on it, and I know there'll be an awful lot more!!

Will update when I get a chance

Lilyloo - its only conjunctivitis if the whites of her eyes go red and sore-looking. Otherwise its normal new-baby-sticky-eyes. Just keep washing them with boiled water. New piece of cotton wool for each eye, wipe from nose-side towards ear. They can be really gunky but it is ok.

Nicky, if shes asleep all day and awake all night then I'd wake for feeds in the day. Otherwise - usually its ok to leave them as long as they are putting on weight ok.

Ds2 managed a 5-hour stint last night, woohoo. He is currently avidly watching the tumble drier. And making nappy-filling noises. I've just put him in cloth nappies too.

barristermum you are so right - i m o used to knowing what i am doing and knowing what the right answer should be - but everyone tells you something different so you never know whether what you are doing is right.

Also am really not used to all this weeping for apparently no reason and feeling a bit nervous and panicky about nothing i can really put my finger on. My mum keeps saying its really early days and emotions and hormones go wild for a while - but i never thought that i would be like that - you know the oh yeah but thats other people syndrome.

DH going out for a couple of hours tonight and i have said its fine but really i think please dont leave me on my own but i think dont be so ridiculous.

Anyway it sounds like you guys who are a few weeks ahead of me are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel so that at least gives hope x

Naetha - no experience of colic but ds1 had reflux. He used to projectile vomit but some babies don't throw up, they just get acid coming up a little way out of their stomach. If it is that then they often cry while feeding cos it hurts. Holding them upright for 20 minutes after feeding helps.

Its the pits when they cry for ages though. I can recommend a baby swing!

Nicky, I think what happens is that you get used to not having a clue what you are doing! I am finding that this time I am really aware of how quickly it all passes. Ds2 does something, I don't know what to do to "fix" it, and then I think, oh well, a couple of weeks and this phase will be history.

And do tell your dh what you are feeling. It saves having a huge meltdown at him later.

I am thinking about making embroidered samplers with the phrases "And this too shall pass" and "Its just a phase" on them and selling them on ebay for nursery walls. What do you think?

Nicky (((hugs)))
Things will get easier, there are no right or wrong answers but you just muddle through as best you can and for the most the lo's turn out fine!
Whatever you think is best is the way to go as you know your baby better than anyone else!
Do you not have a friend or family who would come round tonight ?

no not really my sister is at a party and to be honest i dont really want anyone around .

Dh said he will only be out 2 hours and will be back for each feed, i have said its fine he simply wouldnt go otherwise

Hugs to nicky6 - I know the feeling, but if you don't want your DH to go out, then you should tell him!

Fruitful - great idea about the eBay business!

Not been up to much today other than popping out to get some bits and bobs sorted. DD2 seems to be such a calm baby and only ever cries for a feed.

Hi there all

Lucy is a whole 10 days old now and although I'm feeling better physically I feel absolutely awful emotionally... I am a big bag of hormones that can cry at almost anything. She seems to feed well and sleep during daylight hours but last night I basically started feeding at 6pm and stopped around 1.30am. I just don't think I'm making enough milk even though I tried expressing too. The breastfeeding midwife said it was common to "cluster" feed which is basically feeding ALL the time in the evening but what do I do if even constant attempts men she doesn't get enough? I am thinking about formula for the evening feed but feel guilty as I wanted to do it all myself but don't know what to do to make that happen.

I love her dearly and she is utterly beautiful. But I'm having a bit of a day thinking life will never be the same again and all i want to do is for DH and I to be able to go out for the evening and have a glass of wine and sleep in tomorrow and the enormity of everything feels very heavy today.

I will go back and read all the earlier pages and I may well find some of you had all this a couple of weeks ago and that all is fine now...
DH has been absolutely fantastic. All the washing, cooking, etc and just being sooo supportive but of course there's not much he can do about my sore nipples and lack of milk production....

Any advice gratefully received. Thanks girls xxx

I think you guys are great! OR psychic or something. I just came to the computer thinking 'I can't do this two-hour feeding thing any more.' and here are you guys finding it tough too. It does make a difference to know it's not you on your own!

Becky - I would go with your midwife while your being supported with exclusive bf. It sounds horrendously difficult, but i was so pushed into formula and can see the other side of the story. I'm not saying formula is all bad, but it is not necessarily the answer to your prayers. Do what you think best though. You do know best about your baby.

Hey beckyau and nicky6 (((((hugs))))) We have all been where you both are and doubtless will be again. My milk didn't start coming in properly until day 10 and then I had such a fit of the weeps - for the next 5 days people would ask me how it was going, expecting blissful "it's the most amazing thing you'll ever do" type stuff and I would just cry! Which is SO unlike me. I think my mum was secretly amused to see me for once so out of my comfort zone, she kept saying "honestly, there isn't a new mum in the world who hasn't felt like this but look at her she is fine!"

I am still wrestling with the "Should I top up with formula in the evening" issue - lots of mum friends have said totally go for it, it won't make any difference to supply, but lots of people here and midwives etc have said it does impact on supply and the baby constantly rootling like this will stimulate you to greater production. God knows, but whatever you do do not feel bad for doing it. Sounds as tho' you are both beinghard enough on yourselves. Nicky, you will feel so proud of yourself for coping if DH goes out, even tho' it's panicking now. I'm terrified at the thought of my dh going back to work on Friday - he has been such a star, and I worry about lack of afternoon naps, lack of perspective etc etc. Other people popping round are not the same - in fact they even add to the exhaustion some times.

Fruitful - I definitely need some of those samplers - maybe we could all suggest some others - how about "You can't be doing it all wrong, she isn't dead yet"

Hello ladies! knock knock - can i come in now?

we had our lovely son Aleksander on Tues 29th by c-section. He weighed 10lb 14oz - but don't wince - I had a section!

After 6 days in blinking hospital I had had enough of the place and am SOOOO glad to be home.

My story is here.

Am pleased to report DH is absolutely besotted with our baby (maybe because he had to give Aleksander skin to skin after my op as I was too out of it!). All that stress for nothing.......... . The name and the spelling quirk were his choice!!

Aleksi sleeps loads and fingers crossed BF going OK with the usual worries I guess (but then it has only been 4 days!). I felt guilty because I let him have formula top ups at night in hospital but TBH it was the only way to get through the 3 days on that ward with a bit of rest!

My new prob is the tension in our house between my mum who is staying with us for a week, and DH who thinks she is "interfering". I appreciate having her here but it's true that she is being quite overbearing and saying "you should do this, you should do that" a lot, AAARGH! My loyalties are divided.

Becky - I've been feeling bad about that last post - don;t think I was clear at all - sorry ! tired.

For those of you interested / concerned / thinking about mixed feeding there is some interesting help here There's a bit at the end where tiktok talks about the reason for cluster feeding.

The problem with taking on formula I have found is that I then worry about supply decreasing etc.. It was interesting that the days when we gave top ups of mostly formula Sabela put on HALF as much weight as when we gave top ups of mostly bm. Bm rules!

Another sampler - One day at a time.

With a newborn you can't look ahead and think "OMG I cannot do another week of this!" You have to think "I can get through today" (or tonight).

FWIW, I did formula topups with ds1 and my supply dwindled - within a week we were on full formula. But he was premature and hopeless at latching, and my supply was low because of that. With ds2 I bf'd for 3 weeks and then decided not to put us through it again. I'm hesitant to talk about it on here cos you're all doing so well at sticking with the bf'ing and I don't want to put you off! I bf'd dd for 9 months - once you get established its good.

Sympathies with all the tearful ones, its horrid isn't it (and NORMAL). People keep saying things like "so you're fully recovered now are you". Err, no. Give me another few months!

Hello all

A better day today - still had the morning and evening crying, but nowhere near as bad, and he's settled fairly well as long as he's been upright or jiggled. At least DH is here so I could have a lovely bath!

Bit of a double whammy yesterday - got mastitis in my right boob - very sore / tender and red, like it's been slapped. This has (helpfully I suppose!) combined with DS going through a growth spurt (I guess anyway!) and wanting to feed almost constantly. Unfortunately, I think I'm getting mastitis in my left boob as well as it's starting to get tender and sore. This just means I'm expressing between feeds, although because he's cluster feeding I haven't had to at all this evening. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have enough milk as both boobs are absolutely empty and he's still hungry! I would have been tempted to top up with formula if I had any in the house - probably just as well I don't! Thankfully, although they drain fast, they fill up again pretty quickly, and 30 minutes after a feed, I can usually express another 2-3oz, so expressing a little and storing it for emergencies! Even still, it would be nice to have a break from 10 minute feeds every 45 minutes!

Lots of hugs to everyone who's finding it a struggle emotionally - just remember that we all feel like this. My weepy time is when I'm trying to feed Ben in the middle of the night and he's fussing so much he keeps on spitting the boob out, then DH tosses and turns and makes noises about having to be at work in 4 hours time...always ends up with me crying while I feed him - several times a week Not DH's fault - he's just half asleep and grumpy. It's frustrating when I know that Ben can feed really well, just chooses to be a silly bugger half the time!

Can't believe he's 4 weeks old, it's all gone so fast! Been getting loads of smiles today as well - DH brought him in to see me when I was in the bath and he gave me this huge gummy grin - worth all the sleepless nights a hundred times over!

Right, off to have some ice cream and watch some trashy TV

Congrats Ange
what a boy, hope you are recovering emotionally & physically.

had our worst night last night, ds wouldn't settle for a couple of hours and ended up sleeping on the sofa downstairs with him on my chest. he kept waking ds1 up & it got to me, so came downstairs instead. been really grumpy today, esp with ds1 poor lad. managed a lunchtime nap tho which helped.
my parents here for the night, tho really hmph, they shd help more. they let dh do all the cooking for dinner and didn't offer to help at all.
anyway started the infacol today as a pre-emptive measure and ds2 has been better since. hope we have a better night.

mind you, not as bad as some of yours, so (((hugs))) for anyone suffering from lack of sleep/disturbed nights/dh's snoring and making you feel like you're the only person awake in the whole world
and sorry for anyone with mastitis/sore nipples/curling toes

right, rubbish effort as personals but can't manage any better,

Naetha - I had that boobie problem. a hot flannel pressed on before feeding and a cold one after really helped. and lots of feeding which you're obviously doing.

fantastic you're getting smiles!

Hi all...sorry for the delay in posting my birth story - I have started writing it up (honest!) but have been struggling to find any spare minutes in the day between looking after newborn and an active 2.5 yr old...and trying to squeeze in a few minutes sleep around the edges as well!

Its mostly going well - Tamara is a total dolly and is being very 'easy' at the moment, although that's mainly (I suspect) because she's quite jaundiced and therefore sleeping a lot when not feeding It makes for easy nights, but I doubt it will last . DS has adjusted well (so far...) to the new arrival and is being quite good at the 'big brother' thing, but is also being a typical terrible 2 at the same time.

Unfortunately I've not been doing quite as well (NB stop reading right here if you're scared of TMI!!! ) - despite Tamara sleeping well, I spent all of Thursday night on the loo with an upset tummy (including feeds !) so still haven't recovered from the horribly long labour...then last night realised that a) a length of suture thread had come out when I went to the loo and b) my lochia didn't look/smell quite 'right'. Because I had a terrible womb infection after ds1 which went undiagnosed for weeks I got on the phone to the hospital this morning. Spent all afternoon there today (v weird being back on the labour ward!!) and yes, I have a lovely infection, so am now on antibiotics (poor Tamara, and poor DH who will have to deal with the nappies!) and yes, one of my stitches has come out. The really unpleasant bit is that this was one of the stitches on my labia/perineum and apparently there's a chance that it will now require further surgery to get everything back to normal as there's now nothing they can do until the infection is sorted DH has been incredibly sweet and supportive and lovely but I'm quite freaked out, as I was quite a mess after ds and it took about 10 months to get our sex life back on track....I really really really didn't want to have to go through that all over again and now it looks likely

Oops, sorry, didn't mean to unload all of that on here...obviously it really isn't the end of the world, I'm just feeling quite blue tonight as all my stitches are hurting like hell, my odema is still so bad my knees don't bend so I can barely walk up the stairs and of course the hormones are insane. On the plus side, my daughter is beautiful, feeding seems to be going well and everything else is fixable in time...

Right, off to try to get ready for bed before the 11pm feed...love to all, please feel free to tell me I'm being a silly bint and apologies for feeling sorry for myself in public!! xxx

hiya all havent managed to post on this thread or even change my name but thought id just say hello and skim through some of the posts.

REally sorry you're having a rough time fluffy. Sounds horrid. You can offload on us any time! That's what we're here for. I hope it can get sorted as easily as possible. Let us know how you're doing with it.

Morning all

Fluffy - sorry to hear you're having such a tough time Make sure you get plenty of rest, as I guess that will help you recover as much as ABs will! And the whole point of this thread is to unload stuff like this - well at least that's why I'm here!

Katyt - sorry your parents are useless - I think there's a fair few of us here with parents as useful as a chocolate teapot! My mum came up last weekend and berated me for only having hoovered once in the last 6 weeks. Not sure if it had excaped her notice, but I was heavily (and very uncomfortably) pregnant for the first three weeks, and had a newborn baby for the last three weeks! Also made no effort to tidy up / wash up, and "conveniently" decided to leave after waking Ben up and spreading the remnants of her lunch over the kitchen and front room.

The mastitis seems to have been hastily averted - I guess I must have nipped it in the bud with all that cluster feeding! Still tender and sore, but not red and swollen any more. I was amazed last night when both my boobs almost went back to normal size they were so empty!

Eek having a bit of a babygro crisis! Ben now only fits into the Tesco 0-3month babygros - he's outgrown the mothercare and next ones already - he's too long!!! I'm tempted to cut the toes off our current babygros, but don't want him to get cold feed, given that baby socks are the biggest joke ever!

He's also only got about 6 inches spare in his moses basket, so I think he's going to be in his cot sooner rather than later! Not that he actually sleeps in his moses basket at all... I'm sure it must be electrified or something - as soon as we put him down in it (absolutely fast asleep) his little eyes ping wide open! He doesn't cry or anything, (or at least not for a few minutes) but he's instantly wide awake. Doesn't matter if he's previously been in a dark quiet room, and most of the time he's already in his grobag, so not like he's feeling the cold of the moses basket...very frustrating!

Is everyone going to follow the FSID recommendations for keeping LOs in the same room as them until 6mos? I'd love to, but he'll be out of his moses basket soon and we don't have room for his cot in our bedroom. I guess if push comes to shove I can sleep on the mattress in his room, but I'm sure we'll just end up co-sleeping in there!

hi ladies

you are all so great thanks for your posts after mine. it really does help knowing we're in this together and also hearing things like barristermum saying her milk didn't come in til day 10 when all the books say day 3. maybe that's what i'm like - dunno but it is nice to be able to offload isn't it? so huge thank yous from me and dd.

btw apologies for lack of punctuation/capials as dd is having a feed as i type - trying my hand at multi tasking...

Fluffymummy... oh you poor old thing - how horrid for you. there is of course nothing i can say other than to send you a healing hug.

my midwife (the one i saw through pregnancy) is visiting tomorrow (i have seen community midwife 2 other times) so i will see what she says about one ff last thing at night. i realise that if i were to get her blessing i'd do it straight away so dd doesn't get so hungry and upset and i think i would feel better too. have a feeling though i won't get anything of the sort as think she's bf only type. i know i should be a grown up about this and make my own decisions but i just want what's best for dd. oh i don't know. no doubt i'll change my mind 74 times before i do anything. dh is frustrated he can't help out. if we did one ff then he would feel better too and get a nice time with dd. as far as i can see it's a win win situation surely? i want to bf the rest of the time so can't help but feel it'd be right for us as long as it isn't a slippery slope. i'm not making enough to do the evening top up from ebm otherwise i'd do that...

anyway. love to all you ladies wherever you are. and lots of thanks too xxxxxx

Just popped on to look for a post from MrsMJ and saw your post about milk coming in late BeckyAu - mine didn't come in until day 8.

I really recommend calling the NCT Breastfeeding helpline if you need someone to talk to. They were so lovely and helpful mid meltdown.

Good luck
x

Hi all, I was wondering what the other "sectioned" ladies (Katy, Lucky?) found best for positioning for feeding? I cannot get comfy! DS is usually propped on my V cushion (he is such a big weight I cannot hold him up properly in the cradle hold, or the rugby ball like I was shown...) and I haven't yet managed to feed one handed, I feel I have to keep hold of the breast and aim it at him!!! (but worried that will lead to blocked ducts). So often my mum or DH have to pop his head on for me but I am scared about when I'll eventually be on my own!! I haven't been able to lie on my side at all as yet ... my numb jelly belly pulls and hurts.

I haven't had time to catch up on everyones news and stuff but hope you are all gtting though the days and nights as well as we can.

Hi all, have just had an opportunity to scan through the posts now that DD is finally asleep. Having trouble settling her once she's awake night or day, and similarly hard to wake her for a feed. HV and MW both said I should be waking her if she goes more than 3 hours between feeds but it's so hard to get her to sleep in the first place I tend to leave her.

Interesting discussion on FF top ups. We did a couple in the evening and it was bliss as she then slept for 5 hours straight. Unfortunately, over the next few days, she really started to get fussy about BF and started screaming after feeds (reflux?). Have since switched back to exclusive BF with the occasional bottle of expressed milk. Hard work but seems to be a more contented baby as a result. This is from someone who really has no hang ups about switching to FF if necessary, but right now BF is resulting in a happier household all round even if I am getting less sleep.

So far, DH has been a star, he's between jobs at the moment so has been here full time since she was born. I have no idea how I would have coped if he'd gone back to work after a couple of weeks. Problem is he has to do an overnight trip this week and I'm not sure how we'll cope.

Question - is anyone else using sleeping bags? DD is 4 weeks and absolutely hates being swaddled or wrapped in blankets. I have heard that sleeping bags aren't really suitable for very young babies but am tempted to give it a go.

Hey Rockdoctor - I've used grobags for Ben since day 1 and they're absolutely great as he's a real kicker, but hates being swaddled. The only downside is that he does look like a boy in a dress

I'm a little bit worried about my milk supply - I've had an oversupply up until now, but over the last couple of days Ben's not been satisfied even when he's drained both boobs - I think it's partly a growth spurt, but he's gone back to regular timed feeds and still my boobs are empty... . Often I have to feed him, then amuse him for half an hour or so until I've got more milk...