August 2021 - They've been here for half a year

[BertieBotts]

Can you believe it! Our lovely little ones are (roughly) halfway to their first birthdays.

Welcome friends old and new for discussion of sleep, teeth, weaning, milestones, navigating post-baby relationships and the whole existential dread of parenthood... I mean those amazing moments when they make your heart melt. Or produce a poo that makes the wallpaper melt. Oh, all of them. Nothing is off limits because it's just good to know that somebody else has been there.

@RandomCatGenerator yeah I saw a thing about the scar rupturing and it’s very unlikely from just being pregnant but the main time it has a risk of happening is in labour.. not for me thanks 🙈

@Jessicapebbles Ebony is gorgeous - and glad you're happy with your decision, sorry you had to go through your miscarriage though xx

@BCxx I'm hoping so!! My midwife has been amazing and really supportive - the consultant is keen on a VBAC but apparently he always is. I cancelled my birth choices clinic appointment as I'm not really interested in someone trying to convince me of a VBAC, and I'm with a different hospital than last time so don't think they'll really even be able to talk me through my first birth anyway.

@BertieBotts oh he's such a cutie! I'll be no help on sleeping - we did only just finish breastfeeding a couple of weeks ago (Rowan self weaned, I think because I'm pregnant) but haven't fed to sleep for months - after a horrendous time for a couple of months when he was about 6-8 months old where he was taking hours to go down then waking hourly I did some sleep training and stopped feeding to sleep then.

Our major issue just now is Rowan and the cats. She just doesn't understand not to grab, pinch or pull their tails. They have been good and not gone for her but she just laughs at us telling her no.

@biscuitcat Hopefully you will be able to tell him your choice and he won’t try and change your mind then! I just had my booking appointment this morning and I have the same midwife as last time. She just said ‘I presume you’ll be wanting a section again?’ eh yes 😂 She said a consultant will give me all the ‘information’ (no doubt as one sided as last time) at my 12 week scan about the two options and then il get an appointment at 32 weeks to make my decision. Sounds a lot less stressful than last time if it’s genuinely as easy as that. I’m more chilled just at least knowing I will get an appointment and won’t need to ask repeatedly the whole way through until I’m taken seriously. It ruined what would have otherwise been a really easy pregnancy.

@Ready2020 I’ve got the same issue with the dog. We’ve kept them apart a lot until he was fully on his feet but he will chase the dog now and try to ‘pat’ him but he’s so rough. I end up just having to put the dog away again for fear of him snapping if he got hurt 🙄 maybe they’ll be friends in another year 😂

I thought about this chat the other day too! Rohan has recently turned 16 months and is running around causing chaos!
He has such a cheeky personality too.
@Ready2020 same thing with our cats, occasionally he is gentle but mostly hits them...weirdly he is always gentle with other people's dogs. Hoping he will just grow out of it!
Congrats all with #2 on the way, we are not sure on a 2nd.

Awh it’s so lovely to hear from everybody! I’ve got a Walker now after so long but she’s so steady and wants to walk everywhere!

Im so sorry to hear that @Jessicapebbles, sending love.

congratulations @BCxx @biscuitcat @RandomCatGenerator , I’m also due next year in July and the hypermemis has not been fun! I’m in two minds whether to go for vaginal again or ELCS, I’ve only just really gotten over some slight pain in my epi scar so petrified that will worsen with a vaginal. We’ve opted to find out the sex on our NIPT so that’s exciting, just need to try and prepare my DD for it. The bond she has with DH is truly amazing and makes me love him even move but I’m worried she’ll get jealous and resent us but she is super caring with her dolls / teddys so I’m hoping that helps!

@Fran92 aww congratulations, that’s lovely! The sickness must not be fun at all though.. did you have the same last time? Does it ease off at all in the second trimester? I’m almost 7 weeks and I think I had a bit of sickness from 8 weeks last time, even that was hard going 🤦🏼‍♀️

I had a cat when my eldest was this age, I kept trying to offer the cat space (wouldn't always take it) or remove toddler/even time out etc but it was really ineffective. The best solution I found in the end was to remove the cat when the cat was in the vicinity of a determinedly curious toddler, or insert myself between them so that I could be a physical barrier and enforce gentle stroking.

This may also help, I only read it when he was quite a bit older:

babysafedogtraining.com/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-get-magnetized-to-dogs/

Lovely to hear from everyone - congrats to those expecting another!

DS is doing a few steps but isn't walking properly. I think he figures he can get around faster on his knees! He is turning into a lovely little boy 🥰 although he has his moments of course!

You might remember me asking about sleep levels a while ago. He's continued to be a sleepy boy and he's now been referred to paediatrics. I'm sure all is fine but I'm glad he's getting checked, then I can enjoy the excessive sleep!

Lovely photos everyone 🥰

Alasdair is pretty much running around, it's terrifying how fast he goes because we get a lot of falls and tears. He started before his 1st birthday. Lots of words as well, although still signing a lot too. The words are helpful except that he often mixes up opposites and then gets a bit upset not to be understood. But he's lovely and learning so much everyday.

We've been visiting my in laws for the holidays and they have a big dog, she is Alasdair's #1 obsession. Other than a couple of random excited pats he has been pretty gentle with her. Luckily the poor dog tolerates a tiny person excitedly shouting HI DOG in her face as she rests on the floor 😄 joyful dog photo attached

@BertieBotts Alex is adorable. We are just starting to brush teeth more regularly. He will only use one of our toothbrushes, and I get mine too and model it for him and help him do his few teeth (only 7 still all in front) and we do it after milk, just before a couple of books and bed. Really depends on his mood tho!

@Smallbean27 Rohan is so gorgeous.

All the c section talk is making me a little anxious. I want to have another hopefully conceiving this coming year as I'm turning 39, but bit worried about how that will all go. Can pregnancy be uncomfortable after the first c section? I've just started trying to get in better shape hoping that might help.

@Fran92 ahh congratulations to you too! How exciting for your NIPT - we're having another surprise, and I've no inclination at all what it might be this time. I hope Rowan comes around to the idea of a new baby - he's also good with dolls and teddies but cries as soon as I so much as look at another baby 😬 I hope your hyperemesis eases too, that can't be any fun, especially with a toddler.

I went back to work pregnant and ended up telling my manager only about a week after I had found out as I threw up in the corridor, no time to make the loo!

@WolfMother326 ahh so exciting with lots of words! Rowan only has one or two, I'm so looking forward to when he's speaking more, I think it might help with him getting frustrated when we don't know what he wants.

I've not found my section to have impacted this pregnancy so far - I'm 21 weeks now (and about the size I was at 28 weeks last time!!), and while the symptoms, sickness etc. have been different, my scar hasn't bothered me at all yet.

@WolfMother326 I have never heard of C section making subsequent pregnancies harder - only that it can lead to a more complicated VBAC which is why if you choose that route it would be more carefully supervised than otherwise. I know VBAC isn’t for me as I am very anxious about the lack of control and the pain involved in vaginal birth - tokophobia - but I don’t think it’s at all unusual to choose that route if it’s what is right for you.

I am 11 weeks in, really quite bloated, and not even a twinge of the C section scar.

Ps I love that picture of your dog and son, @WolfMother326

@biscuitcat congratulations on your pregnancy, I don’t think I said so upthread :)

Pps I can empathise @biscuitcat - I told my boss before my family or friends because (well, apart from my stepmother who guessed) as I had to run out of a meeting to be sick. Awkward.

Best picture I could find. Rowan has been walking for a few months too. She's non stop!

Hello All,

Long time no talk! I’m sorry I stopped checking in after this thread was a massive support to me, I’m a bit of an anxious Annie and I think I was getting a bit caught up in comparisons. I swear the babies in the NCT group are outrageously advanced and I think that was impacting me!

Anyway I’ve been catching up and it’s so lovely to read your updates and see photos of your little ones! Lots of new babies to join the gang, how wonderful for you @biscuitcat @RandomCatGenerator @BCxx oh and I know I’m missing a tag and it’s on a different page! My husband would love another, so would I really but in all honesty I’m not sure I can cope with pregnancy again. They say you forget but the 9months of nausea is still with me! I hope you’re all doing well!

We are well here, I didn’t go back to work after mat leave and am loving the stay at home life. I know it’s not for everyone but I’m really enjoying it. We had an early walker, from about 9months so he’s been running around for ages. He will not tolerate shoes though, he’s okay with socks but he’s barely run around outside because of this. I presume it’s sensory and I’m hoping it will pass.

We’ve got quite a few words now too, at least to my ears we do, I’m not sure anyone else can understand them 😬 sleep is okay too, he was so good for the first 8 months of his life but now it’s a bit up and down. How does everyone get their babies to sleep? We do milk in the living room, go into the bedroom and we’ll sit with him while he sleeps, often he’ll end up cuddling one of us to sleep though. As lovely as that is it can take ages, how do people just put them in the cot and leave? Is that even a thing?! Maybe it will come with time.

Anyway I really hope all is well with all of you lovely lot, I will definitely be checking in more if anyone’s still around xx

@Fran92 there’s my missing congratulations tag! Hope the sickness has passed, I was on a drip a few times with sickness and I totally remember how horribly unpleasant it was, hope it has stopped for you now!

Alex was a bit funny about shoes at first, we had some chunky winter shoes and he completely refused to walk in them, but I went and bought some new ones that were much more flexible and less heavy - like barefoot style. He is much better in those and will proudly bring us his shoes when he sees everyone else getting theirs on, or just to say that he wants to go for a walk

Still feeding to sleep here but we have just stopped co-sleeping and moved him to a cot in his brother's room. However I also have no idea how to do the put in cot and leave thing, so we read a story all together (this is manic, I don't know why I imagined this lovely cosy calm time, they are usually totally nuts and either screaming or giggling or wrestling or running around and I don't think anybody is ever listening) and then I take Alex into the living room, which is next door, for his bedtime milk. DH has to hide in the bedroom! And then when Alex is asleep I take him through to the cot. I am night weaning but just very slowly/gently so I expect it to take a while. Currently he's pretty good and stays in the cot until about 2am but once he did until 4! I dislike dealing with night wakings from another room so hoping the trend continues.

We are also doing settling in at nursery, there is this German system which I love in theory but it's a pain in the arse because it takes weeks and weeks, especially when you start it in the winter/autumn (I'm such an idiot because I've done this twice now). Basically on days 1-3 you go into the nursery and stay there for up to about an hour while they play etc. On day 4 they get you to leave for 30 minutes. Unfortunately, on day 5 his brother was ill so I couldn't take him and then the whole rest of December, he was ill for 2 weeks with bronchiolitis and then his teacher was ill until the holiday. Then she was on holiday until the 9th Jan (!) and then I went in on the 9th and she was ill! So we ended up getting reallocated to somebody else and restarted from about day 2, that was last week. We finally got up to 40 minutes' separation and he got ill again and threw up while there so they sent us home again. We are due to try again on Monday. I will probably take him to a local playgroup tomorrow because he's not really even ill, he's just cuddly, probably because he has been teething like a puppy and has all his teeth now except for the 2 year molars. He is constantly chewing things. We just hand him teethers now and he sits there with them in his mouth while he plays.

And yes we have some words. The latest one is willy 😂😂😂 He can also say Leo ("Nelo") and Pato which is the duck from Pocoyo.

@Inmypjsagain aww so glad to hear you didn’t go back to work and are enjoying time with him instead. I went back to teaching but I was becoming really anxious about it even before I had him and it was really majorly impacting my mental health, to the point I needed to go on beta blockers when I went back just to be able to go to work and took more and more throughout the day 🤦🏼‍♀️ I eventually cracked at the start of December and went off sick and haven’t gone back. Found out I was pregnant while I was off so now I’m just kind of in limbo not knowing what to do 🙈 I couldn’t continue on the way I was going and won’t take the medication now I’m pregnant. There’s so many things more important than a job! I’m hoping I can hold out and take the earliest possible mat leave then quit after as I feel like I’d be majorly shooting myself in the foot to do myself out of any mat pay but I physically don’t think I can ever go back 😔

Found out last night according to sneak peek that baby #2 is a girl! Not sure whether to believe it and none of it really feels real when I feel like I was just pregnant 2 seconds ago 😂 The sicky feeling is the worst, I properly had the fear about it this time before it happened! Hope all the other pregnant ladies are surviving pregnant life with a toddler 😬

He’s always been a good sleeper and 9 times out of 10 we do just put him in and leave. He still gets a bottle before bed in his room which he really shouldn’t be getting now, definitely going to have to cut it out when he’s going to see the new baby with a bottle! I think I’ve been too scared to stop it though as the routine works and he sleeps after it. We still use Ewan the sheep and put it on, light off, close the door and he usually just goes off to sleep after sucking his thumb for a while. He’s now taken to this big soft toy so has to have it cuddled in beside him. I’m really dreading when we eventually have to put them in a bed though, I imagine he’ll just get up and come with me 😂

@Inmypjsagain thank you for the congratulations 😀although I am not enjoying pregnancy - I hated it first time and I’m certainly not enjoying it second time either. BUT I am very much hoping it will be worth it in the end…

On sleep, Solomon was not a good sleeper when he was small - we now think that was mostly due to lactose sensitivity which caused him stomach problems. We did Ferber and it worked well for us and still does. So our night time routine now is that we do bath then milk and story in the living room, cuddles while we do story, then off to bed; into sleeping bag, dummy in, white noise machine on and lights off, say goodnight and then we leave him. If he’s crying 5 mins later we go in and comfort him and again say goodnight, then again 10 minutes later, then again 20 minutes later until he’s asleep. Works for us, I know it’s not for everyone.

@BertieBotts oh we’ve tried so many shoes, start rite, geox, pico (or something like that), Clark’s sandals, wellies, he just doesn’t tolerate them at all. He screams and stands there and won’t move, like he’s forgotten how to walk! Alex sounds sweet bringing his shoes over ❤️
The cot to sleep business is hard isn’t it, I feel like some babies just do it and others don’t… but yeah I can imagine big bros being distracting! Your nursery induction sounds stressful, so much illness! Hope your next try goes well, no more bugs!

With you on teething as well though- we’ve only got the last molars left as well, hope that means we have some respite from teething for a while now!

@BCxx oh so sorry to hear to work is so stressful, i remember you saying you wanted to go back a few months for a mortgage and then leave! How is Etsy going? You’re totally right that there are more important things, tbh I’d stay signed off but that’s probably down to my attitude to work. I think I’d sacrifice mat pay too but appreciate financially that’s not really sensible… but if you can afford it? So good Freddy just goes to sleep. I really think we messed up sleep here, cos he did that when he was little and I feel like our approach to it changed, anyway we’ll change things up and see what happens! And a girl!!!! How exciting, is that based on the early scan? I can imagine it feeling totally bizarre. 2 of my nct friends have already had another baby, one had her second 10 months after her first, can you imagine?! (She had a c section too, had another c section and it was totally fine, her scar was still fresh too!) they both said their second pregnancies absolutely flew because baby/toddler was so distracting!

@RandomCatGenerator I am sure baby will be totally worth it!!!! 🥰 are you feeling settled back in England now? I think we’ll end up doing something similar with sleep, we’ll start gently by maybe moving further from him or just not cuddle him (which I’ll miss) and see how it goes. I asked my BIL as their daughter goes to sleep by herself but they did proper cry it out and I don’t think I can do that (and she never cries in the night now, she can be sick etc and nothing which I think is a result of that!) I know Ferber isn’t like that though so probably worth me researching more!

We have an awful lot of pinching and hair pulling here though, I say no but he laughs at me. He used to bite something chronic and laughed when I said no then too, he gets it now so I’m hoping this too shall pass!

@Inmypjsagain you have a good memory! So I literally just got the phone call today to say the mortgage was approved and the money should be coming in this week. I phoned about it in September assuming I’d have to hang on at work for a month or something and they said it would likely be January! 🤯 Luckily I’ve managed to get it through though while I’m still ‘there’. I really don’t know what to do about the mat pay situation. I so desperately want to just cut all ties and be free from it, it would be the best feeling ever at this point! My Etsy is going great still thanks and if I did it full time with proper child care it would easily make my full time teaching wage! I’m at 10,000 Instagram followers almost.. it’s insane what you can actually do just by having a go at it sometimes 🙈 instead of plodding on with a job you hate!

Every little thing can mess up their sleep and routine. I’m sure it will change again for you! Over Christmas ours went to pot and I panicked and thought that was it gone and we’d gone back to being up during the night etc but thankfully it was short lived.. no idea how I’m going to do that again with #2 🙈

I’m only 9 weeks so still 7 weeks until I can know for sure with the ultrasound but it was a sneak peek blood test you do at home and send away to America. They all seem to do it over there! It basically searches for any male DNA but if you live with a man, have a son or male pets (which I do) then there’s a high chance of some of their male DNA contaminating it and it will come back saying boy. I fully assumed that would be the case so it would just say boy either way.. was so shocked to see girl! There’s a lot of people get false boy results but very few with false girl results by this stage so I do slightly believe it.

I was so wary of the c-section thing and that’s with a year gap! My hairdresser had a second just over a year after her first and was fine too but I’m so on edge about it all 😂 I’m like surely it has to be a bigger job for them to cut me open this time when there’s already scar tissue going on in there.

Do you think you’ll brave it and have another?