December 2007 - Santa's come early for some of us...

[Housemum]

Thought I'd start off the new thread as I've never started one before - congratulations to those of you who are on here now - hope I'll be joing you in the not-too-distant future!

Happy New Year everyone.

Had a text this morning from a friend who said "I hope you had a good night". In my stupid, sleep deprived state assumed she was referring to me and the baby - eg hope I managed to get some sleep.

But thinking about it afterwards I think it was a generic text sent to all her friends hoping they had a good night out on the piss... She is pregnant herself so should know better but it made me realise there are people out there doing things like drinking and partying!

Anyway it sounds like everyone is going through all the same issues as we are - screaming baby (caz10 mine is three weeks old today and has also turned into a real baby!); STILL got sore nipples/breasts although b/fing a lot better than it was for the first 2 weeks; lack of sleep etc.

DH and I play pass the baby - he has her from about 9 or 10pm - midnight when I usually take over until about 5am by which time I can pass her back knowing he has had a 5 or 6 hour stretch of sleep. She has been a really good sleeper and goes for 4 hours between feeds at night but at the moment will only sleep on me or by me.

For those asking about co-sleeping, I just wrap her in a sheet and blanket and place her on the double bed next to me, with all pillows, duvets etc well out of the way.

Anyway like everyone else I am dreading dh disappearing off to work....

Oh oh I can hear a baby crying, better go...

Oh and congratulations to everyone with new babys - I am loving all the names, everyone seems to have chosen really well.

Oh and PPS insy I think your feelings of disappointment are very normal. At this stage it is really hard to bond with the babies - especially if you have an older one and know what it is like to love them when they are older. The newborns are SO demanding, sometimes I do feel resentful towards her. But I remember this from last time and know it doesn't last. I am sure once your little boy is more of a person (if that makes sense) you will love him as much as your other ds and wonder why you wished he was a girl.

hi and happy new year everyone

sounds like everyone is having a bit of a hard time esp with bf - I am still sore nearly 3 weeks down the line but keep telling myself that things are improving. Think a BFC is a great idea though - might phone one later

insy - I was going to ask if you were disappointed about having another ds but didn;t in case you were appalled I would suggest such a thing. I think what you are feeling is entirely normal and might take a while to go away. Have you told your DH how you feel? Or anyone else? I don;t know but I imagine it's v. important to talk to someone (even if only us!) about it and accept your feelings as normal and don;t feel guilty - hopefully then they will pass. It took me a while to bond with dd as well, nothing to do with her being a girl, so that could be separate from your disappointment? Any way just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hope everything begins to settle down for oyu

Another one dreading DH going back to work - had them both by myself yesterday and it was really hard and stressful... how will I cope all day everyday?

congrats to all new mums

btw I went to a NYE party last night - are you all impressed?!!

Wow the night feeds are really exhausting aren't they? although i should be blessed she's sleeping well for 3-4 hrs between feeds, the 1am and 5am are killers then by 9am i feel dead, went back to bed today until 1pm feel sooo much better now. DH still has manflu, and baby has a cold too, poor little sniffles and snotty nose. Gave first bottle yesterday, she took it ok but gulped it as she's used to working for her feed, so plenty of winding required but hopefully she will take a bottle a dy.

Skid - I'm very impressed. And as a first time mum I am in awe of you who already have children, just one is hard work!

Have spoken to the BFC and she has given me lots of helpful advice and I will be going to see her tomorrow.

Oh my God Skid I am that you went to a party!!! Very impressed and more than a little jealous that you felt up to it! I had an awful nights sleep the night before and was really grumpy all day yesterday so was in the bath by 8.15 and in bed by 9 last night. Luckily had quite a good nights sleep in the end- ds fed at 10.30, resettled by 11.15, then slept until 2.20 when he was up until 4.15 then slept until 7.20 when I fed him then lay him in bed with me and we slept until nearly 9. dd was up around 5 (typically when ds was sleeping!)unable to breathe with a cold but a dose of medised sorted her out and I think she sensed last night was NOT the night to play mummy up!

I really HATE that extended waking period in the night though and find myself getting really cross with ds just wanting him to sleep. Typically he takes a big feed, is sick, feeds some more then cries a lot, starts to settle then suddenly snaps awake again, cries some more, wants more milk etc-I find it so draining.

Also I'm on a bit of a downer re bf at the moment-for all the pain, hourly feeds and other problems I experienced with dd it still felt worth it when she'd fall asleep contented afterwards. DS is sick after most feeds and screams in agony after almost every one because he can't seem to bring up his wind. If only he'd do that drunk face after a feed I'd feel happy that my milk was doing him good but its really starting to upset me that feeding him just causes him pain and makes him sick. Infacol doesn't seem to help much so am waiting until next week when I can try gripe water. Does that sound like normal wind to you? Am wondering if he might have reflux but don't know if am just desperate to put a name to it iykwim?

Am sure in another week or so I'll feel better about it all and apart from that am finding bf really easy this time and know that bottles will probably aggrevate the wind if anything but it is frustrating.

Insy-I think your feelings are perfectly normal. I didn't have a preference this time but was partly expecting another girl and hated changing ds's nappy until a couple of days ago cos I found it wierd seeing boys bits there! Also I really bonded with dd while I pregnant with her and felt like I already knew her when she was born and I didn't have that at all with ds. I was worried for a while that not having the same bond meant I didn't love him as much but it's just different I think

DH went back to work the day after boxing day but I've been a wimp and stayed at my parents so they could help me out. Partly dreading going home cos at the moment it takes me all morning to just get up and eat breakfast WITH HELP but hoping it will be easier when I'm back in my own home...

Lizzer your mastitis sounds awful!

I've been on the verge of it for a week now -have been very blocked and sore. It is so depressing. Have been on the phone to the BFCs and crying all the time. Thought it had cleared a couple of nights ago when I finally thought I'd got a good latch sorted and the pain and sore nips disappeared on my good side and my blocked side. It seems I'm sore again today though and dread feeding times. Will hopefully get to the BF support group tomorrow. Am a bit worried because Rory still hasn't put on weight after 4 weeks, and lately he's only been pooing once a day.

Insy - I'm still teary too, and also dreading DH going back to work. And the first day I've got Ds on my own I've got to get to the clinic 2 bus rides away for his hearing test at 9.30 am. Considering I haven't been getting dressed until 12pm lately, this will not be easy.

Not too bad here can I have small boast - Lily is SUCH a good baby - she is BF like a dream, lies in basket or on sette like an angel, whimpers a bit for washing and changing, lets DD1 manhandle her and all in all is a pleasure, placid calm baby
H stayed 2 nights but not much help with baby ( same as before) did cook for us entertain DD1 clean pets etc but house was tip and he was grumpy and annoying me so sent him back to his flat today...IL's took DD1 out most of afternoon but has just been 3 of us from about 3pm and we have ben ok have been little anxious juggling both alone and DD1 been bit tearful but WE ARE OK....she is playing happily all 3 of us are washed and ready for bed, fed (2 BF and 2 dinners )baby is asleep and am going to head upstairs with DD1 shortly settle her and then me and Lily ....maybe I CAN do this by mysefl

oh and respect to those with toddlers am finding an independant 6 year old and a baby hard enough work and quite demanding ...thank goodness back to school monday but that should be interesting getting her there for 8:55am

Skid ? very impressed you were out last night ? only reason we were up at mid night was fireworks woke up ds1 right PITA!

Wizzka ? sorry you?re feeling down too (although it does make me feel more normal to know I?m not the only one !) I?ve got ds2?s hearing test this week too, on thurs at 10.30 and meant to be taking him to clinic for 9.30 ? its prob going to mess up his day being carted around all morning and not much fun for ds1?

Thanks for everyone who said they understand about me feeling disappointed about having ds2 ? I did chat to dh about it last night and he said he?d hoped ds2 was a dd because he knew how much I wanted it, I?m glad he wasn?t appalled about me feeling like this, he doesn?t want to have any more tho so I think its something I?ve got to work thro and like you?ve said hopefully it?ll come as ds gets more interesting and interactive, finding it hard to bond with ds2 at all, I?m sure it was the same with ds1 but I keep hoping its not because he?s a boy, I also thought it might have been easier to bond with a dd as they would be different, ds1 would be my first and only boy and a dd would be special because they were a girl, wondering how I can love both of them equally Will have to keep writing it down and see if I can work thro it

I can sympathise with all those finding the bfeeding hard, it?s the same here but I feel like I don?t get a break from ds2 and then ds1 wants my attention so no chance to catch up on sleep, ds2 is so windy as well, anyone else struggling with that?

To finish on a positive note we went out the four of us for lunch today ? nothing special just to local pub but ds1 was beautifully behaved, I felt really proud of him, with everything else I forgot any food/bids/beaker or cutlery for him and he just had adult stuff and didn?t get anything on his top and ate loads, really good day ? fingers crossed for a good night with both of them too!

Wizzska,thanks for sympathy and ouch I feel your pain! I'm a bit worried cos although I feel better in myself my boob is still red in patches and not feeling great so hoping the anti bio's are still working? You know I'm convinced I got it through tight fitting bras, I bought 2 underwired feeding bras from figleaves and although they look great they don't feel comfy, I've been wearing my tesco four quidder, ugly but comfy!

Can we STOP talking about dh's going back to work -like, how am I going to have a shower?!

Skid, @ party, good going girl!! Also I've just read you went through the mastitis pain barrier - are you totally recovered now? I was worried ds would go off my milk (as Dr told me ) but he's ob. not bothered..

Hi Caz10, ds sleeps between me and dp but we have a super king bed so there's loads of room. I have a sleep pod/gro bag for him so needs no more covers although our duvet skims his bottom half. I make sure the pillows are pushed away, like Clara says and once I've fed him I try to move him away from me slightly. The other thing that gives me confidence is our memory foam matress which maes it less likely that either of us would roll near him. HTH

BT, don't feel guilty about the formula pleaaase... Ds has had the odd bit, esp when i had mast. I think the trick is to be very careful but if you know your baby is screaming for food and you can't feed anymore I don't see the problem myself. I know other people see it differently but we're all just listening to our baby's and our bodies and making decisions to suit everyone concerned. The main think I hate about formula is the smelly poo

Insy, sorry to hear you're dissappointed. I think you're right to get it out and hope that you come to terms with it soon

Pelvic floor everybody!

Macdoodle, wow you're doing so well! You're so right, you CAN do it

Can I join in on your praise of people with toddlers plus newborn? Just amazing.. I am watching you all carefully as I'd love another one, with a small age gap this time...... Oh actually that means i'd need to have sex, ARGHH, forget it!!!!

Insy, sounds like a lovely lunch, we intend on going out soon but it seems so unpredictable and scary!!

I had to b/feed in hosp waiting room when ds went for kidney scan y'day.. I got a stern look from an OAP but just stared back with a smile and she looked away.grrrrr.... I'm still waiting for result of his kidney dilation scan btw. Will let you know what happens but so far he's a healthy little boy and thats all that matters

Hi girls, can I join you all please? Had DD2 on 23rd December and came out of hospital Xmas eve, it's taken me that long to come over from the ante-natal thread. Christmas is such a busy time to have a baby

Hope you are all enjoying your lo's Happy New Year to you all. Am trying to catch up with all the posts and babies now

Welcome Furryfox! Come and tell us what horrible things you have been doing to your dd - I have found that when I've done something I think is horrible to ds, I confess all and find out I wasn't the first!

Lizzer - thanks for the reassurance, I was also told I was making a big mistake giving Daniel a dummy because it would cause nipple confusion but happily this is not a problem. He rejects the dummy if he is hungry - mum's booby is far more preferable to a bit of silicon (all you boob job girls tak note ). Well done for BF at the hospital!

Already some of the things that BFC have told me had started to take affect to make bf easier. And I now have some nursing bras! Ooh which reminds me, Mothercare have a sale on, loads of bras in the sale - sadly none in my size!!

Lizzer - best of luck with that scan result. Beatrix is going in for her kidney/bowel etc scan on Friday - but like you I'm optimistic she seems fine

Macdoodle - yes you CAN do it, and sod the H. Am in a similar situation to you with a nearly 6yo and so far so good. It helps that at the moment Beatrix sounds like your Lily, very contented and sleeping/eating as well as could be expected - but for me the main thing I think is that I'm trying to be as relaxed as possible and go with the flow.

Am a bit scared though that its all going to deteriorate over the next 2 weeks when she "turns into a real baby" as others have said - but guess will have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Think my milk's starting to come in. Am able to express more now (up to 20ml) so hoping soon she can be mainly EBM with the odd bottle of formula. Would like to try and do mostly EBM for at least a month.

Warning - do not heat EBM in microwave!! It will curdle and that's a bit sad after all that effort

hi everyone

so hard to catch up using my phone to browse the net. Fin is much better and the infection is going. if all is well when he comes off the antibiotics tomorrow we'll be home at the weekend. been so hard to juggle homelife as i've been staying at the hosp with DS and DD has been at home with DH, his parents have fallen out with him so altho they'll come and visit DS in hosp they havent helped DH at all so we've been using our two fantastic childminders in te afternoons to give DH time o do washing and shopping and catch his breath.

insy, hope you are feeling a bit better for talking to DH, you're doing the right thing working through the feelings rather than ignoring them. lunch sounds fab, cant wait to try that.

wow DS is 10 days old tomorrow, its still sinking in what with the start we've had. i'm pleased with how my scar and I am recovering from the section.

DH returns to work a wk on mon, i was in 2 minds about asking him to ask for another wks leave as i will be housebound with Dd and DS until i can drive (walk into town is 1 mile downhill so have the 1 mile uphill on return) but we've decided to put Dd in with childminder 3 days a wk so she is getting activities and eases pressure on me.

finally congratulations to new arrivals and happy new year

Adding in Mad4Girls! So that's 18 boys and 20 girls I think

Hailbop - Boy 2 Dec (due 1/12)
Wizzska - Boy, Rory, Due 2nd Dec, arrived 2nd Dec, 8 lb 5
Bimblin - Boy, Alexander, due 14/12, 4th Dec 8lb 2oz
RGPargy Ellie Rose 5 Dec Due (27/11) 8lb 6oz
Loopymumsy Orla, 5 Dec 30/11/07
CHOCOLATEPEANUT Joe 5/12 (due 01/12)
NBG - Ethan 6/12 (due 28/11)
SarahPT Boy 6/12 (due 2/12)
Beanstermummy Girl 6/12 (due 30/11)
VNMum - Caitlin Louise 8/12
Caz10 Ella 9/12 (Due 12/12)
Claireybee Douggie 10/12 (due 10/12)
Claraq Martha Erin 11/12 (Due 01/12)
Shells 12/12/07 - Roisin Eleanor (due 6/12)
Littleoldme 12/12 Thomas James 7lb 9oz Due 28/11)
Fifisworld Ethan 13/12 (Due 17/12)
Mellymooks - 13/12 Kaesha Ophelia (Due 7/12) 7lb3oz
Louise76 - 13/12 (due 9/12) Ailsa 8lb 5.5oz
Mad4Girlsplus1 - 13/12 BOY Zethan 7lb 10oz
Cazzybabs 14/12 Evelyn Mary (Due 30/11)
Skidaddle - 14/12 Milo (due 11/12) 8lb9oz
Insywinsyspider - 16/12 Toby Simon (due 11/12) 8lb5oz
bambino1andbump Charlie 16/12 Due 15/12
Ambi - Louise, 17/12 (Due 4/12) 6lb 4oz
Suey2 Millicent Kate 21/12 (Due 10/12)8lb10oz
BunnyBaby - Michael Peter 21/12 (Due 28/11) 8lb 15oz
Amani 22/12 baby GIRL(Due 30/12)
Lizzer - 22/12 Dexter Robin 10lb4oz (Due 10/12)
FurryFox - 23/12 (Due 10/12) Imogen Holly 7lb 14oz
Lucy/Loucee 23/12 (due 17/12/07) Finlay 8lb 12oz
Thingamajig 25/12 (due 21/12) a girl! 6.45lb
Curlygirly 25/12 (due 24/12) Lois Maisy 7lb 14oz
Bouncingturtle 27/12 (due 23/12) Daniel Edward 6lb 6oz
Awen 27/12 (due 31/12) Samuel Owen 8lb 14oz (VBAC)
Macdoodle 28/12 (due 26/12) Lily (no middle name decided yet) 8lb120z planned section for breech
Chloemegjess - 29/12 (due 23/12) Elouise 6lb 6oz
Ozzymoomoo - 30/12 (due 30/12)Ruby Michelle 8lb
Buzzybee 30/12 (due 22/12) Beatrix Amelia, 7lb 11oz

Had a much better night last night, got quite a bit of sleep, and for the later half of the night he slept in his Moses basket! Result!

Morning all.
Mini-marmalade and me are back home now, adjusting to life. All well. Bit sore still (gory details later if anyone's interested) and norks now so large and heavy that they are attracting meteorites and small landing craft, and could use some more sleep , but still okay.
Pictures on profile of the niblet in her early hours.
hope everyone's okay - looking forward to catching up. happy new year!

Huge congrats Dundee - another due in Dec baby that scraped into Dec!!! Gorgeous photos.

Dundee - congrats on your gorgeous little girl
And of course we want the birth story - don't stint on the gory details
Am going to put some pix up of my little man now.
Shouldn't be long!

lizzer - well done on bfeeding at appointment - when I had to go for ds1's kidney scan I got asked by the nurse to feed in a changing cubical I understand that the waiting room was full of OAP's and I had to be sensitive to them but was supprised an NHS nurse wasn't more supportive - was too shy to kick up a fuss - hope scan goes ok btw (ps I was told if you get pee'd on whilst nappy changing thats a good sign kidneys are ok so if ds has pee'd on you !)

off to try and express my first bottle of milk, ds2 in the baba sling and sleeping, took me a while to figure sling out but think its going to be a life saver, anyone else buy the baba sling in the end? I remember loads of discussions about slings...

BT - I have the dummy on stand by at the moment, was told by HV to wait 6 wks think my nips will be too sore by then if I do, I can tell when ds2 is comforting as his latch on gets lazy and it hurts - good to hear Daniels taken to it really well with no confusion

locuee - glad to hear things are getting better, I've put ds1 in with childminder today and tomorrow to give me a chance to cope (and I didn't have a c-section so think it'll be great for helping you too)

my new years resolution is to not try and do too much - after all no one thinks any more of you, am going to be more selfish

Insy - ds is using the dummy less now, i think the whole coming out of hospital probably unsettled him a bit.
And yes, he peed while I changed his nappy - lucky he missed me, but I had to get another nappy out!