December 2007 - Santa's come early for some of us...

[Housemum]

Thought I'd start off the new thread as I've never started one before - congratulations to those of you who are on here now - hope I'll be joing you in the not-too-distant future!

Hi Mememummy - of course we remember you! Congrats on your baby girl - name? Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. Feel free to come on here to vent!

Clara, I find the best thing to do is simply to recognise that it will be a bit of a drag on your own and get on with it. Bit like Insy was saying about accepting a lack of sleep when she has DS1.

Having said that, getting very bored with managing the witching hour feeds alone Got the better of me for a while this morning when I continued to doze while DD grumbled beside me for a couple of hours when I really should have got up to tend to her but was just feeling too exhausted. Felt v guilty afterwards.

Melly - my DD takes between 4-6oz per feed of EBM so sounds about right to me!

Does anyone's LOs sound like they have asthma when breathing? Especially during and after feeding and seems worse at night? Trying to convince myself its just some left over mucus on her chest - but can't stop myself from going and picking her up some nights as it really sounds like she's struggling to breathe.

Thanks loucee - am finding that if i put DD2 over my shoulder she does burp better.

Thanks loucee - am finding that if i put DD2 over my shoulder she does burp better.

Hi ladies,

Only got a few mins in the internet cafe as DH is looking after the children (that sounds so funny).

Just wanted to say hi and that I have not forgotten about you all.

I know Amani has let you all know that Ediz arrived on 11 Jan - ridiculously late.

Finding it all abit of a strain to manage two especially as DS1 keeps running into evil BIL stinky smoky bedroom and with baby attached to boob very difficult to do much about it, btu slowly starting to wear me down being back living here, coupled with hormones not a good thing at the moment.

With this in mind am planning to get out and about with DS1 this week to keep him occupied. Going to have to tackle the BF in public thing, but planning mainly to go to toddler groups so shouldnt be too bad as I dont feel so conscious in those kind of places.

Slightly more stress as well as DS2 lost 500g post birth as he was having real problems feeding luckily the MW was very understanding and said that since she knew our history in that he refused to open his mouth for anything (even bottle) that we will weigh him again tomorrow, but normally he would be referred back to hospital, ended up crying my eyes out as I now am topping up with expressing and formula, and feel really responsible in my determination to BF as he has suffered as a result.

DH is being a bit of a pillick as well. Peed me right off this morning as both boys had pooed and both wanted to eat and he was just lying in bed, AWAKE and then moaned that I put the radio on. The thing is it isnt even as if they woke up early it was about 8.30. He thinks that cos he works everything else is up to me, which will be fine once I have the feeding established. He has moaned constantly all weekend about the house and keeps really shouting at DS1 for getting his toys out. He is 2 years old FGS what does he expect him to do. Times like that I just feel like saying, if you cant be decent to him then we are leaving. Sometimea it really upseta me, he just expects him to sit quietly.

Sorry for ranting as soon as I get on, just had to get it off my chest.

Hope things are going well for everyone.

Takw care ladies and hopefully will be able to chat properly soon.

MM- i am sure your DH will calm down. Mine doesn't seem to like the fact that he does have to wake up in the morning, now, and seems to turn a blind eye whilst i am running around multitasking when millie is asleep. I don't think he likes coming second all the time, either, although i have no doubt he adores millie.

on that, wizz- if i have been feeding millie on a pillow, i transfer her on her pillow into the moses basket and she is much less likely to wake up.

mixedmama - congrats on the arrival of ediz! I think that our DH's think we are ladies of leisure not having to work. I really try to keep up with the housework etc. but when you're working round 3 hour feeds it's so difficult. The weekends seem to be harder at the mo which I'm sure isn't the way it should be. DH has worked all week so it's the only time off he gets, whereas it's the only chance I get for some time off too - so who should be looking after dd??

To make it worse we have had a horrible few days. DD suffering from constipation and was being sick often. Spoke to the Cow & Gate hotline (she's ff) and they said it sounds like she has a sensitive tummy so we've swapped her to C&G Comfort milk (meant to be kinder to the tummy). To be honest, she just seems as bad as ever. She's had a couple of poos but I still see her straining a lot. And she still seems to be being sick. Although she's more settled on the bottle, she seems to gulp the milk down and then start choking - I've ended up in tears during most feeds cos I'm so scared - she'll just squeal and then stops breathing for a few seconds. I just don't know what to do to settle her. Whenever I speak to the HV she just says 'it could be this, try that' but I need someone to say to me 'this is what the problem is, this is what you need to do'.
We've tried infacol, gripe water, colief and now we've changed milk... I really don't know what else we can do!

Sorry to rant

Hiya all, just done some housework [mental emoticon] whilst DH is here to babysit, instead of me stressing out trying to get it done before next feed/whilst trying to get DD to sleep! Yes DH does the majority of baby time at the weekends, if only to bond. I still do the nights on my own, so he?ll get up about 7am after her feed and take her downstairs so I can sleep in for a few more hours. I can also get stuff done whilst he watches her most of the day, although she?s pretty sleepy and good and only wakes for a feed or change, it?s the getting back to sleep that sends me over the edge at times (especially last week when I had my bright idea of leaving her upstairs to settle herself in nursery with monitor on ? up and down the stairs like a yoyo. Good for exercise, not good for sanity)

Finally got her weighed last week, had to go to clinic cos HV ?forgot? the scales twice, she?s a right little bloater! From birth weight of 6lbs 4ozs, to 4 and half weeks old = 8lbs 12ozs, that seems an incredible increase to me, although still smaller than some newborns and she seems huge to me now so respect to those who birthed big babies!!!!

Perhaps I?m a little cruel cos when DD fusses/cries around the breast, I pretty much force her on when her mouth is open wide (crying), she takes the nipple fine then and calms down immediately, I think she just get upset if she?s not fed the second she demanded. Her timing has been cracking today, every 3 hrs on the dot, as if she?s got a little clock inside her. Success on the bottle front yesterday too, gave her some formula for a couple of feeds and she was fine, I think she didn?t like it before because it wasn?t warm, although a very confused look when Daddy fed her instead of Mummy. I?m still BFing fine but wanted to get her used to the bottle a bit everyday and saw some (very lazy) formula cartons that I was curious about. Though boy were boobs unforgiving afterwards!!

MM ? hugs for you, hope everything gets better for you at home soon.

Holly ? don?t know what to suggest, DD also strains a lot and I was worried too, but not sick and the infacol seems to have helped her, since you?ve tried that, the MN advice line will come up trumps I?m sure.

Wizz/Skid and those others who have pain BFing, you?re so brave to continue, I?d have given up long ago, it?s just not worth putting myself through that agony, never mind all the blurb from HV/MW. I hate all that pushing BFing on people, one of the reasons I didn?t go to AN classes, it?s a choice for mothers and sometimes it?s not even a choice if it?s painful, causing more distress than anything else, so all the propaganda is detrimental by making mothers feel like they?ve failed they?re LO?s in the first crucial weeks of bonding with their babies. When the best decision surely is that Mums make the one that makes them and baby happy and relaxed so they can enjoy their babies!, sorry rant over. Yes I know I?m bfing, but I believe each to their own and no-one should feel shit for their decision.
Can you tell I?m dreadful at being told what to do Support for the sisters!!

Ok too long a post me thinks, off to make dinner cos I?m Hank Marvin!

Yay DS cord fell off yesterday! 3wks 6 days, can't believe it took so long.

Yuck I had a D&V bug today, only just out of my bed now. DH has been a star and took DD (23mths) to softplay then took them both out for a 2 hour walk (had to give DS a dummy as although he had a good feed prior to going he was yelling! seemed to take it ok but hasn't needed it since). Then DS laid in bed with me all afternoon and fed/slept lying down. Came downstairs and DH has tidied up and lit up some lovely sparkly lights etc.

Sorry, was in two minds whether to post about DH given MM and HB's comments about their DHs and I would usually be saying similar hence why I felt the need to give praise to DH when *it was due!
As a couple we found the first wee while after DD's birth extremely hard. Had a lot of arguments over exactly what you describe - weekends being DH's only time off work and them being my only chance to get x/y done and have a break myself. We had a long chat and reminded ourselves we were a team and a family - it wasn't/shouldn't be a chore.

MM - hope DH is just have a few baby blues days himself and that he settles down soon. Can't help things living where you are. I can't remember what the plan is ? Is it a long term arrangement?

Anyone else been doing grocery shopping online? I have been to the local Co-Op for top ups but find the convenience of someone else picking it and packing it and delivering fantastic! (oh I know it will happen soon, me with a toddler and newborn probably both howling in the supermarket trolley!

Buzzy, yes my DS makes all kind of scary breathing noises at night, last night especially I was up to the basket several times to check on him as the horse neighing noises and sounds like he'd vomited had me light sleeping all night. I'm really paranoid about the noises as one of DS's symptoms of his infection was his "grunting" breathing noises. I find that he doesn't seem to do it when he's on his front on Daddy or lying on his side.

Sorry for TMI but I wonder if I've got another infection in my womb or one of the layers from the cs. I've had some light discharge today when it had totally stopped and I am sure it has a bit of an aroma.

Loucee - get it checked out, best to be safe than sorry! I haven't needed to online shop but will do now DH is going back to work.
Ambi - great weight gain!! You must be very pleased My ds does the same thing as your dd, thought at first I was missing feeding cues and not reacting quick enough but he often goes from fast asleep to hysterical headbanging my boob in 30 seconds flat! Makes it difficult to get him in exactly the correct position which makes feeding him uncomfortable.
Holly - have you tried changing to a different brand of formula altogether? Sorry you are still having problems
Mixedmama - congrats on the birth of Ediz, sorry to hear things aren't too smooth with family - we have problems with my FIL who is a PITA but at least I don't live with him!
Mememummy - Congtats to you as well, so good to hear from you, you hadn't been forgotten! Sorry to hear you had a traumatic time, hope you are ok and that you get your bfing issues sorted - have you posted in breast/bottle feeding? Tiktok & Lulumama are usually around for good advice!

Hello to everyone else!

Away this weekend visiting inlaws, my 2 nieces were Christened today stayed with their mum& dad, dh's db and dsil, it was fab they are such great people. Me and dsil ended up talking for a couple of hours in the wee hours about being a mum. And I got loads of compliments about my bfing ds during the service and the party afterwards, felt really comfortable doing it. So far have only bf publically with friends and family around, the real test for me is out on my own! But feeling a lot more confident as I've been reassured by several people that I'm not flashing my nips
Ouchy moment - really must get ds's nails cut he raked them across my nipple accidentally as I was placing him on my cushion for feeding. Ohhhh the pain!!!!

Sorry to moan finding it hard going alone with babe and DD1 really snappy at her tonight and she apologised to me when she didn't really do anything wrong

Thx Loucee - really is quite a loud chesty gurgle when she breathes quite disconcerting.

Had quite a good night last night. Don't know whether it was coincidence or not but followed a vague routine consisting of:

down to sleep in Moses basket 7pm
woke for feed 10pm
down again in Moses basket (in my room)
I went to bed in spare room
woke for feed 3am, fed in my bed then let her sleep in my bed after that
woke at 7.30am!

I quite like this idea of co-sleeping after 3am feed. Have previously been quite strong on the idea that they should get used to their own bed, but she is there for all other sleeps and once she sleeps through should be no opportunity for this co-sleep deal. In the meantime am hopeful it means going back to sleep at 3am more quickly

Another godawful night, went to bed about 10pm, fed him, he woke up wanting a feed around 12:30 and then fed on and off for the next 6 hours, with very little breaks on and off! In addition while feeding, screaming frenzy before I could get him latched on, he kept falling off and then he'd feed, fall asleep and 10 mins later wake up hungry again! He snorts as well when trying to latch on, and at times he seemed to be struggling to breathe while feeding - checked to ensure his nose wasn't squashed against my breast and it wasn't. Was at my wits end with him, and poor dh didn't get a good nights sleep, as he was constantly being waken up by ds screaming or me getting upset .
He is asleep in bouncy chair atm and seems ok, but think I'll ring my HV for advice - she is due tomorrow but don't think I can wait til then!
Plus got to go to the hospital to get my foot x-rayed, went to gp on friday, he thinks it is a soft tissue injury and has referred me to a podiatrist (?) but wants me to go for an x-ray as well.

havent caught up just wanted to come in and weep.

had terrible night last night, just cant seem to settle her in her moses basket but even in bed with me she is staying awake for 2 hours in between night feeds so im barely getting any sleep. finding it difficult to function and nearly crashed on school run this morning - looking after 3 is well harder than i thought/hoped.

any tips on getting her back off to sleep, ended up breastfeeding nearly all night but dont want to do that as she then doesnt do any proper feeds, just snacks all night long.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

holly why not try;
bath before bed- get in the bath and let your LO kick around as you support the head

get your LO sitting up on you at playtimes- millie often manages to fart/poo whilst in this position- i sit with her supported on my thighs and making faces at her.

rubbing your lo's back as they lie on their front- be quite firm

rubbing their tummy

letting them rest for daytime naps on front or side- millie is noticeably worse lying on her back

BTW millie is BF so it may not be anything to do with the formula

Mixedmama - Sorry to hear your DH is being a pain. My dp was/is the same at times. he thinks that because he's at work Mon-Fri that he should be able to lie in bed all weekend while i look after the 2 ds's, and the house and everything else. He thinks that i must just sit on my backside all day, but its hard work looking after the 2 of them as ds1 is only 21 months and still needs a lot of attention.

Its pouring down here. I wish it would dry up so i could take these 2 out for a walk, i feel like we've been stuck in the house forever

pecka have you tried a dummy?sounds like she is using your breast as a dummy right now. I also read somewhere that plain boild water in between formal feeds to make sure they are hungry enough to take a proper feed. Try and keep her awake during the day- i am using the guideline in a book that should not be named that at 4-6 weeks they should not be sleeping more than 4.5 hours in the day. I often wake millie by changing her nappy and give her a feed. I try and get her to have an hour's nap sometime in the morning/ afternoon, 2 hours at around lunchtime. Then we have bathtime any time between 6.30 and 8pm followed by a feed in her grobag then she is put to bed. I wake her up just before i go to bed between 10 and 11pm for a feed. If i manage to stick to the above, she only wakes once to eat before 7am. (sometimes she is unsettled becasue of her wind and i have to comfort her and maybe use the dummy).
Are you sure your LO is hungry and not just full of wind?

Suey - been meaning to ask if your night nanny has gone now? Sounds like you have an excellent bedtime routine and Millie is sleeping fantastically. Do you use a dummy for Millie? Does Millie always take her naps in her bed? If you're out and about and she's asleep in the pram do you try to wake her or keep her asleep?

Oh went to the Dr about having some bleeding yesterday and he said to keep an eye on it and book in with the nurse if it persists. Didn't have confidence in him at all.

So I know it's really early days but anyone have any plans for their next child? I would really lovely a 3rd but we are going to wait 2 years before TTC and would really love a spring/summer baby.

Suey - do you have any advice on any exercises I can do to help my stomach muscles or is it really only that one with pulling belly button into spine for now? I'm 4 wks post section and don't want to get exercising yet but any advice gratefully received.

morning everyone

MM so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Re BF please don't feel guilty as despite your DS losing weight you are doing the best for him in persevering with BF - hope things improve and he starts gaining soon

Re rubbish DHs - I am lucky in that my DH fully recognises that looking after one let alone two or more babies/children is by FAR harder work than trotting off to the office every day. I am actually ridiculously jealous of him getting some time away for himself every day and I think he also feels he got the better bargain. One way to show DHs how hard our lives are is just to leave them with your DC/DCs for the day at the w/e. We had a crap w/e this weekend - and DH was a bit pissed off but I said, well this is my life every day of the week, at least you have five days off and he was extra nice to me that evening!!

Don't get me wrong I love spending time with my DD and DS but it is so exhausting, especially the toddler - claraq - I also have those days when DD just tantrums all day
and God knows how I would cope on my own so you have my sympathies

wizz and amani - how is the bf going? Have you come to a decision re formula wizz? Pain after feeding def sounds like thrush but if your GP thinks it is mastitis you should treat it asap as it can get really nasty - you can treat you and your DS for thrush as well at the same time. I am STILL in pain and still don;t know what the reason is. Does anyone get a sort of painful strong tingling AFTER feeds - a bit similar to let down but it hurts? Not sure if this is a normal part of BF or there is something wrong. I am completely determined not to give up though - not sure why as in many ways it is ridiculous to be still be in pain after nearly 6 weeks. Think I am just very stubborn. Hope things are improving for you both.

pecka - could it be a growth spurt?

holly - could it be lactose intolerance (no idea about this but it just occurred to me when I read your post)

meme - huge congrats and sorry you've had such a hard time of it - hope things settle down soon

DS won't settle in his moses basket during the day either so I have him in a sling or on my knee - not ideal but it won;t last forever - and it means I get to stare at him a lot which is lovely because he is so beautiful

reusables - we use kushies, totsbots, nappy nation and a few others. Rikki motherease are the best wraps IMO

Hi everyone else, sorry for mammoth post

Just reading your post Skidaddle, about the pain after feeds. I sometimes get a shooting pain in my aerola after feeds, doesn't last for long though. Did you have tablets to treat your Thrush? From memory when I had it with DD I needed Fluconzanole tablets as they were recognised as being the best to treat it and Daktarin gel for her mouth. The Breast/bottle forum on here was excellent at providing info on it.

Meme - is your DD sick after every feed? Is she gaining weight?

hi skid am typing one handed on laptop on sofa as i breastfeed so apologies for typos etc.

the pain you describe after a feed sounds very familiar to what i was getting a while ago. i wondered if it was thrush symptoms but it seems to have gone away now so perhaps i will never know.

btw i am re-reading - in very small chunks! - the two socks, one hairbrush book as it suddenly seems a lot more interesting and relevant. and as so far my marriage hasn't fallen apart nor have i fallen out of love with dd1 - although i can understand how both would happen - i don' feel quite so depressed reading it this time round.

i am really struggling with dd1 and this morning had to resort to chocolate buttons to get her into the car to go to the childminder. she has never watched so much tv in her life and throws a tantrum when i turn it off.

i used to think i was quite a good mum. now i think i am rubbish!

suey - your routine sounds amazing, wish i could have the evergy to do something similar. but having anothyer child does tend to balls things up. this is why my friends who followed gina ford the first time said it was pretty difficult the 2nd timne.

macdoodle - i am so sorry you are finding things hard on your own, wish i had some magical solution or wise words other than the usual trite hang on in there it will get easier. i guess getting together with other mums is the best thing you can do. i hope thhings do improve for you.

Thanks for all your words of support for ds's kidney scan. Just want tomorrow to be over with now but feeling a lot better about things now.

Well then what cosmic entity was hanging around in our sky last night?! Yet another unsettled baby here! Its nearly the full moon maybe that's why so many little people weren't up for sleeping Ds just wanted to feed a lot which i can usually sleep through as we co-sleep but he fed so much my nipples were sore by about 6ish and therefore i was awake from then. Just managed a nice nap for 30mins with him just now though..

Suey2, I think 'that' book works for organised people, which you seem to be and organised people's children thrive on the routine, but i'm such a chaotic jumbly we would fail on day one thanks for the advice about the canula too

Mixedmama, hello and congrats on the birth of Ediz. Sorry your dh is being a pita, hope he sorts himself out soon..

To those with noisy breathers, ds is in that club too (LOL caz10-the 'death rattle'!!), it terrified us to start with but he's fine. HV says it can be to do with the larynx not quite developed yet but to mention it on 6 week check up if still worried. It is actually pretty funny when dp is snoring his head off and then his little mini-me is lying next to him making snoring noises too! (well, funny for about a minute then i need some peace and quiet!)

Macdoodle, I had a row with my dd too last night. Its horrible isn't it? I left her fuming for ages but had to go in and sort it out before bed, thnakfully we made up. Its hard to find a balance with a much older child sometimes as they don't demand attention but need it in different ways. You're doing a great job though, don't forget that

Wizzska, how are you feeling about feeding now? I just wanted to add that mixed feeding is also an option if you don't want to give up b/feeding completely. It works well for a lot of people, will give your nipples a chance to heal and take the pressure off. That said, its really amazing you've lasted so long with all your problems, just make the desicion that feels right for you

Hello everyone else [waving]

best of luck tomorrow lizzer will be thinking of uou and your little DS

lol clara - that's exactly what I feel like - I used to be a quite a good mum but now I'm rubbish. Have also invested in a DVD player so DD can watch DVDs while I feed. Until now she has watched no TV at all. A good day now is when I manage to be nice to DD for an extended period

I have also been harking back to that book and thinking she wasn't so off the mark after all - I did fall out of love with my DD for about 2 days but thankfully back in love with her. Marriage is still OK too so far. Oh we were so naive back when we were pg, weren't we?

Clara, my DD is the same with the TV as well and we are bribing a lot as well!

sorry loucee - didn't see your post just now - yes fluoconozole is what i was prescribed and symptoms are much better but not sure that they've gone away completely... bearable for now though