December 2007 - Santa's come early for some of us...

[Housemum]

Thought I'd start off the new thread as I've never started one before - congratulations to those of you who are on here now - hope I'll be joing you in the not-too-distant future!

Hello all, hope we've had a good day.
Skid - thanks for the bfing reassurance, think I need it! Ds was feeding every 1.5 hours last night!
Haven't got anything remotely resembling a routine, plus I hoping that Daniel isn't the only baby who screams like a banshee when I get him dressed/ undressed and bathed!

Bathed him at 8pm, he's currently dozing on Nanny's knee, planning to take him up after the Palace, feed him and go to bed. Still having diffculty with him not settling himself to sleep, but at less than 3 weeks old, am I stressing about this too much? Guess I'm just worried about DH going to work on Wedneaday - and he won't be back til Friday night as he will be away on a conference for 2 nights
Lucky my mum is staying until Saturday.

Lily is getting fatter and fatter guess I must be doing something right she looks like a little buddha now

Also having a problem, sometimes Daniel really screams when he is hungry and I don't feed him instantly (coz I'm busy getting myself comfy with cushions and things), he shakes his head from side to side and it too busy crying to latch on. He does manage to latch on eventually but I usually end up in an awkward position as he has shifted around so much and it makes me upset to see him so frustrated. Any comments/suggestions?

Insy, I put a fleecey wrap inside the cocoon which DS seems to love cuddling up against. Although he does sometimes cry when we have stopped so I wonder if it's just movement in general he likes!

Bouncing - DS isn't as bad as that as DD was. One BFC told me I should pay more attention to her feeding cues as the baby crying is one of the last pleas for food but I could never ever tell when she was hungry - sometimes she would cry and I would offer her and she didn't want it, other times I would accidentally offer it and she would latch on! So when DD did the shakey head and crying too much to latch on I would gently rock her and pat her back whilst in my arms to temporarily sooth her then quickly latch her on.

Macdoodle, that's a lovely feeling seeing them thrive on your milk. My friend's DS has gained 1lb in six days and you can tell how happy/relieved she is as he took about 3 wks to regain his birth weight and I think deep down she questioned what she was doing.

Bouncing - DS used to sometime settle himself to sleep but now he doesn't seem to be able to do it, needs a cuddle to send him off or his back patted in the basket. I am no expert but so many people have told me that at this stage it's too early to get in bad habits - things we do now can get changed when they are a bit older. Think the line of thought is that at 12 ish weeks it's easier to instill set things. That said the only thing I am insisting on is that DS doesn't fall asleep on my boob. If/when he does I always give him a really good wind afterwards and usually change his nappy as DD was awful at needing the boob to settle for months and months.

Insy, no idea when babies stop needing swaddled - I have 4 months in my head but no idea where it came from! I find swaddling easier if you turn the blanket and fold the top over to create a firmer "rim".

DD was a lot better today with just the three of us, she's had a lot of lovely cuddles from DS as well (I put my bfing pillow round her on the sofa) and DS even turned to her chest and started rooting - she found this hilarious!).

Just out of interest, did anyone's DH/OH get them a special present after the birth? Mine didn't (and I didn't expect anything especially with it being so close to Christmas) but people at his work today were surprised?!

Yey - had a breakthrough yesterday. Think I'm finally starting to understand my baby.

After unsuccessfully trying to set up some king of routine, have been reading the 'Baby Whisperer' book. I discovered that I have a grumpy baby (too impatient to breastfeed, hates being swaddled, often difficult to settle, gets cranky very easily) but the book teaches you that this isn't a bad thing - you just have to love her for being grumpy and see the funny side of it - and it really works!! Me and dh had a chat about it and were in tears of laughter by the end and we've now nicknamed her Grouchio!!

Now that we realise it's not us doing anything wrong we've all got along so much better and dare I say it, she was edging on the side of an angel baby yesterday afternoon.

After having her first poo for 24 hours the morning crankyness wore off. I followed the 'Baby Whisperer' routine and fed every three hours, changed her nappy after the feed and played with her for 45 minutes before letting her drift off to sleep for an hour or so. I even managed to get her to enjoy being in her play gym by shaking a rattle around (small things). Then we decided to cluster feed her a night (the book says to start this at 6 weeks and she's only 5 but it doesn't seem to have harmed her) and fed her at 5pm, 7pm and then 9pm when she was virtually asleep. We gave her a bath at 6ish so she was awake the whole time between 5 and 7. Anyway, she went straight down in her cot at 9.30pm and didn't wake up til 6am this morning!! I just pray it wasn't a one off and we can do the same thing again.

I don't know whether it is just having some structure or the fact that she had regular sleep that helped. Also, yesterday I was giving her infacol as well as using colief so maybe this helped too! Who knows but I recommend that book to anyone, is anyone else following the Baby Whisperer routines??

Lizzer, about the kidney result.

I'm going to visit my friend tomorrow so if you have any questions I can ask her let me know. When you say "not good" did they give you any idea what to expect over the next weeks and months? Or do you have to wait to see the paed to get more info? As you say plenty of people get by on one kidney but it's hardly what you'd wish for your gorgeous baby.

For myself I'm so happy that Beatrix does not have Downs syndrome / heart / bowel defect that a possible kidney problem doesn't phase me. But having said that our prognosis seems to be fairly positive at the present time so we are in a different situation I suspect.

Do you feel like you'll have access to good people at your local hospital? Made a big diff for my friend I know.

Thinking of you xxx

Well after a good night two nights ago back to a bad night last night..... I guess that's the way it goes, but I am starting to be really fed up with being constantly knackered!

lizzer not sure if this is any help or not but one of my friends has a little boy born on the same day as my dd1 with what sounds like similar kidney problems. Anyway he is a perfectly healthy two year old and although they have to take him to the hospital for regular (monthly?) check-ups and he has to take some medicine, it doesn't seem to have interfered with his development at all. I think his mother is more concerned about him dropping his lunchtime nap and climbing out of his cot than the kidney. I hope it is the same for you.

insy having had some success with the Miracle blanket, she fought it last night as she was very unhappy about something (a cold?tummy ache?) and wouldn't settle for a long time so we took her out of it. Bummer as I had hoped it was one solution to settling her quickly. I will perservere as my dh is going off on a residential course in a couple of weeks time and I am starting to really panic about having to cope with a screaming baby half night and a tantruming two-year-old all day without any help. However I would still recommend getting it - it was a life saver with dd1 and I have recommended it to anyone with a cranky baby ever since.

Hollybobs I think the Baby Whisperer sets out quite a sensible routine and am sort of following it, although I am too lazy/tired to bother with trying to get her to self settle etc. At the moment I'll do anything for an extra couple of hours sleep so she often ends up sleeping on me at night . However very at your baby going down from 9.30pm - 6am - although I am sure a good routine helps, that's probably more to do with your baby than anything. We followed the Baby Whisperer with dd1 and she didn't sleep through the night until she was 5 months old.

bouncing turtle I agree with loucee that it's a good idea to try and feed before the baby gets so worked up he won't latch on. Once he is a little older you will probably find it easier to get into a feeding pattern so he is a little more predictable. When he feeds does he empty both your breasts (although I have no idea how we are meant to know if a breast is empty or not!) or is he snacking? Anyway it sounds like you are doing great and three weeks is still very young so don't worry about things too much - it will all fall into place sooner or later.

Macdoodle Martha is starting to look like a little Buddha with adorable fat cheeks too. It does make all the pain feel a little more worthwhile!

Lizzer - Sorry to hear about the kidney result
I hope everythings ok for you and your ds.

loucee - My dp didnt get me anything after i had Ethan, he bought stuff for the baby but not me. When we had ds1 he said he was going down to the shop and i was expecting a nice bunch of flowers or something, he came back with mince and dumplings and vegtables from the canteen to help get my iron up as i was aneamic

The thought was there i suppose

We had a really good night last night. Ethan had his last feed at 10 and he didnt wake up until 5.15

loucee my DH bought me a gorgeous eternity ring- we picked it together when we were on holiday: very delicate with tiny alternate diamonds and sapphires all the way around.

bouncing hard as it may sound, if DD has worked herself up, i grab the back of her head and hold her on until she latches, which she does in about 5 seconds and then is perfectly content. It only works at the start, not when i am trying to get her to take more, but it does work.

I am really battling with routine vs demand. i feel so mean not giving her what she wants instantly (if i can tell what that is!) and i find it difficult to know how much sleep and play time she should be having- she is very alert and sometimes just bored when i put her down, as i found out this morning when she totally quietened down when i sat her up and started making faces at her. Am going to try and play with her after each feed (thanks for tip)

Insy I know what you mean, I sometimes feel like I should be entertaining ds instead of bunging him in the sling but he is so cranky out of it! We do have some playtime too, and I am making an effort to put him in bed when he is asleep but if he is tired or if I need to get stuff done he just goes into the sling. Never thought I'd be a baby wearer and do need to read more on it to fully convince myself but have to say the benefits mean it is selling itself to me!

Clara we also had 2 good nights then last night was a bad one, I know it's too early for a recognisable pattern but I must confess I get VERY frustrated at 2/3/4 am when ds won't settle-had to pass him over to dh for half an hour last night cos I could feel myself getting worked up.

Suey it is v hard to know what is best. If it helps at all I found with dd that just by following her demands in the beginning she found her own routine by 8 weeks or so and it developed from there. DS doesn't seem to be showing any signs of a routine yet but I have to remember how quickly they change at this age!

Thanks for the advice ladies, very helpful. He has been much better today, for some reason he seemed to go from not hungry to "I'm about to starve if you don't feed me this instant!" in about 3 secs flat! But he seems a bit calmer today. We went to Bumps and Babes, boy was it busy! He slept at first but then was quite alert, there was a baby playing with a rattle and he was fascinated - don't think he could see it, as too far away so I guess he was attracted by the noise!

afternoon all.
finally managed to read through everybody's messages. this is my first day on my own with dd (who is called dora esme, btw) and i'm making the most of her being asleep/relatively calm to catch up with things.
everything more or less okay (better than i thought it would be, on the days when i've had enough sleep!) now, but i got the dreaded noro virus 24 hours after coming home from hospital, and was crapping for britain and not eating anything for 3 days. thought i was going to die. but dh was amazing and cared for dora while i was poorly, and we got through with only 1 formula feed. not the ideal start to parenthood, however, and wizzka i hope you're feeling better - don't get dehydrated will you? Midwife made me drink pints of sugared water to keep by electrolyte balance up, and reassured me that my milk supply would be just fine.
thanks to whoever suggested raising the end of the cot/crib several pages back - have propped the head end up on a couple of reams of printer paper and she has been asleep now for nearly 90 minutes without so much of the usual writhing and groaning. my daughter thinks she is a shetland pony, judging by the whinnying and neighing that goes on. it seems to be digestion related, and can be quite distressing. she doesn't howl too much in a colicky way, but does seem quite uncomfortable for much of her waking and half-asleep time.
bf got started shortly after delivery and has been much helped by the fact that dora knows exactly what to do and goes at it like she's trying to drain the atlantic. she's gaining weight well, up to 7lb 6 and a half from 6lb 9 birth weight 17 days ago.
suey re bras - am alternating between 34k/34j myself and only bras i have found are the rather hideous royce onces from bravissimo, with the pink xsilver one for night-times. CANNOT WAIT to get back to civilisation and underwires. Is only really bad thing about bfeeding, IMO.
Sorry for lengthy post - cramming it all in when I can!

Finding it nearly impossible to log on now. Am completely shattered and on another course of ab's for infection where i had episiotomony and also for wee infection. Have also been losing a few big clots again. Ds1 has a skin infection so on ab's too and ds2 umbilical got infected so he is on ab's as well. Feel like i am doin a crappy job for us all to be poorly.

Baby is gaining weight and growing fast. Cant believe he will be 3 weeks on Thursday. He geenrally feeds every 2 hours atm. Is about 2.5 hourly through the night but i managed a total of 5 hours sleep last night (broken up by feeding etc though).

Baby grunts alot and makes lots of strange noises when laid on his back. Seems to be continually straining for poo although is not constipated as plenty of wet and pooey nappies. He is happiest when being held.

Just heard the sound of nappy being filled again (bloody hell was it loud), will try and pop back later.

Hello everyone.

Dundee, hope you feel better. The virus is awful isn't it. I'm much better now and have rehydrated myself. Have found my milk supply very abundant this week after the bug, am almost getting engorged. I think I have thrush in my tits though but hopefully will get that sorted on Thurs at my 6 week checkup.

DS has started smiling this week, and is beginning to put on a little weight. Am supplementing with formula to make sure he gets enough milk after not putting on weight for so long. I was at the point of quitting bf at the weekend, but now have decided to do both as long as I can.

Clairey - slings are life savers aren't they. DH uses it with DS all the time, especially as he doesn't have a pair of tits to calm DS when he's going mental.

Awen at your lo putting on so much weight and pooing so much. That's been my main concern all this time, that I've not been able to feed him enough. Have felt like I'm doing a crappy job because of that.

Don't feel you're doing a crappy job because you're all on abs. These things happen and you'll get through it quickly enough.

hello ladies just popping in after lots of time away from MN to congratulate all those I know and love on here who have had their babies big hellos to Bouncing, Beckle (can't wait to go and read your birth story! ), Neuro, Amani, Awen, Cazzy, Housemum and anyone else who knows me. Looking for news of you Mixedmama Today is my EDD - nothing happening yet! x

I must admit that i haven't had Ethan weighed since he was 10 days old, what with christmas and everything else thats been going on i really havent had a chance to take him down. Ive got to go for my post-natal check next week so will make appointment to get him weighed at the same time
I know he's putting weight on though and is taking about 4oz of formula every 4 hours or so but he slept for almost 7 hours through the night last night without wanting any

Awen - Dont feel crap aboutthe fact you are all on ab's, its just one of t hose things and can't be helped. Hope you are all feeling better soon
MrsMcJnr - I hope something happens for you really soon

Hi girls, a quick post before I start dinner for DH. Louise is getting pretty big now too, we are trying to take photos and videos every day. I?m interested in starting a proper routine but she?s getting a little hungrier atm. I have no idea how much she weighs cos she?s not been weighed since she was born, stupid HV forgot the scales TWICE, so have to go to baby clinic on Thurs! Though he did recommend infacol for the wind and aggravation she gets from it. So I?m hoping that will kick in, in the next couple of days, have there been any improvements if anyone has been taking infacol?

I tried a bottle yesterday with her and she was not impressed, will try again properly next week.

Get the party poppers out for (TMI) I?ve stopped bleeding, hurrah!! God it felt like forever, I hate sanitary towels with a passion, they make you feel so grimy, so glad that?s over. I know that it was just making up the period free months I?ve had but 4 and half weeks was just too damn long.

Anyone changing their contraception after baby? I was going to go for the mini pill, but it seems you HAVE to take bang on the dot timewise daily, and I?m not so great at remembering to take pills so I think that?s out, so now I?m considering the coil, any experiences gratefully received.

Wishing everyone a good nights sleep tonight, I really don?t want a night like last night again.

hi all! Sorry my last post was very moany!

loucee thanks for tips! i like papperinos and i remember seeing lots of buggies etc last time we were there so that'll be a future trip! no, we weren't heading to glasgowthat day, although we have made it to silverburn, massive baby changing room and a feeding room too although it's a bit lonely, M&S cafe better!! there is a sling meet in the west end on 24th jan, thinking of going as i have a freedom sling i can't work

lizzer hope you get good news re ds.

insy i feel bad re not "doing" more with dd to - but to be honest she doesn't have long when she is awake and happy!

i try roughly to do the EASY routine too, but after some feeds DD is overtired, and playing just makes her cry! she seems to get overstimulated quite quickly, we don't get anywhere near the 45 mins someone else mentioned

beanstermummy our weight gain is not good dd piled on 1lb quite quickly but not much happening now, i keep waiting to get dragged back in to hospital...HV just weighing her regularly at the mo and i'm trying to feed as much as poss...not nice with all the sore boob issues...!

hollybobs i went to our clinics 1st yr group last week -dd didn't get much out of it, just fed for an hr! but nice to chat to other mums, and they had baby gyms etc out that she'll enjoy when she's older.

pecka we have finally found a way of settling dd - for now at least - swaddled, on her side, sooking on one of our fingers! the drama comes when you try to flop her over onto her back, if you time it wrong she's off crying again. but it works eventually, sometimes after 2 mins, sometimes after 2hrs!

bouncing - with you on the screaming during nappy changes - deafning!! she also gets herself in the same state before feeds as you describe - can be v painful when a wee thrashing hand gets you across the nipple!

hollybobs i think dd is a cross between the grumpy baby and the spirited baby...groan!!

dundee another noisey sleeper here, some of her noises are quite alarming, but raising the cot seems to have stopped what we were calling "the death rattle" - awful noises coming from her - HV thought prob mucus still in system from birth. also she doesn't seem too bad with wind at night, so keeping cot at that angle for forseeable future!

mrsmcjnr - good luck!!

and massive cyber-hugs to awen, dundee whisszka and anyone else who is poorly x

oh crossed posts ambi. my chosen method is NO SEX ha ha!

Ambi - I've been thinking about contraception too and think i want the coil so i will be watching out for any tips on here as well. I always forget to take my pills and we have decided not to have anymore babies , but we are both too young to get anything drastic done just in case.

calin blue sling people - do you have the fleece ones? they have the 2 colour microfibre ones on sale at big mama slings for £34 is that price ok, and do you think it would save my life?!!

By the way, sorry if this is too personal but has anyone actually had sex yet?
I want to but, this will sound stupid, im a bit worried about it.
I waited ages after having ds1, but we were going to try last weekend but i couldnt be bothered

Caz-it will definitely save your life! I couldn't live without mine now. I do have the fleece one and it is great. Does get a bit hot indoors though so I've just ordered a gauze one for around the house and also a moby wrap which is tshirt fabric-that should cover all options! But yeah I'd recommend wrap slings to anyone-really comfortable and totally hands free (the fact I now have 3 must be quite a good advert...!).£34 seems a pretty good price, think they are normally £38?

Ambi, am also thinking of the coil, probably the mirena. Want to wait a couple of months before getting it fitted though, feel as though I've been poked and prodded enough for now!

Fifi, we haven't yet either. Took me ages to feel ready after dd too. Feeling sorry for dh cos I went completely off it during pregnancy so has been a loooong time!

Wizz, I think doubts about supply is one of the hardest things about breastfeeding-and you have done really well esp with all the other problems you have encountered and you are not doing a crappy job!

Neither are you Awen! ABs can't be helped and just hope you all feel better soon, it's hard work being ill and looking after a NB isn't it? I'm only just feeling normal after the cold I had so really feel for all of you with worse illnesses.

Lizzer, sorry I just realised I had skipped a load of messages-hope everything is ok xx

no, not yet fifi. but quite fancy it- forgot to buy condoms.

re screaming during nappy changes- i have found that using warm water has all but totally stopped it.

dundee one of my NCT group told me toady that apparently rigny and peller will adapt an existing underwired bra which i think i am going to have to go for. cannot bear the royce bra