TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

@ELW85 morning lovely. So, I don’t know much about autism at all but I have two friends with autistic children at very different ends of the spectrum. As far as they’ve mentioned there were very very few signs as babies at all to indicate autism. One said her little boy never really made eye contact with anyone but that was it, they were toddlers before any real signs showed up. You must stay away from Google!! It zaps every ounce of fun out of the baby stage.
From my personal experience too the boys got very mobile around 4-5 months it’s why I had to stop swaddling for naps and they were in sleeping bags at night. They just wanted to move! Hands/thumbs in mouths, rolling on to sides, spinning 360 in the cot, everything. They still do it now - where I put them down in the cot is so, so far from where they end up. These babies grow! They don’t stay tiny almost immobile newborns for long at all, they start to explore their bodies and their surroundings much, much more. If I were you I would honestly be binning the swaddles completely get a few sleeping bags and let him find his own groove a bit. I’m sure Finn is absolutely fine!
Please get autism right out of your head, he’s just so so young. You’ll end up panicking yourself through his baby months!
Also - and please tell me to shove right off here - but have you spoken to a GP about your anxieties? I had PND which I know is different but my sister had PNA (anxiety) and she convinced herself her daughter had everything under the sun. She never really slept for staring at her daughter. She started having panic attacks when they started weaning as she worried so much about choking, and that’s when she saw a GP. She was given phone counselling and it helped her enormously. I’m not trying to say anything is wrong with you!! And I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this, I just see such parallels with all the googling and worry with my sister and wondered if you’d considered a chat with the GP? Xx

@ELW85 oh mate, let's cancel google!! I bet he's absolutely fine, M is always flailing her limbs around - I think they're probably just working it all out for themselves. But if you're worried could you speak to your HV? Sorry you're not having any luck with the house atm, I don't know why it's utterly gorgeous!

@MrsEG Chuffed your results came back negative! Awesome you can get to baby sensory now. I've just emailed our swimming classes to see what the plan is. Desperate to get out and do more. She is not a stay at home and chill baby I feel! Speaking of which, I copied you and took her to the park....oh thanks for the idea, she was positively gleeful! Have fun on your NCT walk. Your 100k challenge is very impressive!

@Fivebyfive2 oh I'm sorry, being awake for hours in the night is so so so desperately hard. Love the f it breakfast!!

Pressed send too soon 🤪

Well we're on night 3 of sleeping through and I'm starting to hope it's not just a fluke now! She's waking up at 5am, but on that thread it says that's so common and it does naturally work itself out. Tbh, I'd happily take a 5am start compared to what we've had the last few months. The downside to her not feeding in the night / taking more solids....my period has returned 😭😂

How was everyone's weekend? We had fab fun at the park, then went on a couple of nice walks out of town/beaches to avoid the crowds. Feel quite rejuvenated for once! x

@Fivebyfive2 if it helps you to feel any better, Ethan had a pants night too!! 😴 you are absolutely not a failure! Some babies don't like being separated from mum!

@MrsEG wonderful news that you're negative! I hope you enjoy baby sensory tomorrow 😊 you're lucky it's started up again! I'd give anything to be able to do baby group! I doubt it'll be up and running before I have to go back to work...

@ELW85 please don't worry!! Ethan will sit and throw his arms around like a crazy thing! He loves it! My feeling is he's got energy to burn and that's how he does it. He also shudders! I read somewhere that happens when they see 😂 no idea how true that is!

@purplefig yay well done M! What a little superstar 😊 sucks about your period... 🤦‍♀️ nasty horrible way to celebrate not being pregnant! Haha! We had a good weekend - I went to see a friend yesterday which was nice 😊 Ethan loved going to his grandparents' on Saturday too!

Ladies, I've got an appointment to go and meet with a childminder on Friday and see her setting. What questions should I be asking?!? Genuinely haven't got a clue!

Hey!

@ELW85 I really came on to pretty much echo @MrsEG A chat with your GP about your anxieties will probably be very useful. Did you do the questionnaire for PND/PNA with your health visitor at any point? I did one at 8 weeks and scored pretty highly for anxiety. Not really surprising at a FTM in a pandemic with no help! It took me a good few weeks to get it under control but half the battle was recognising that's thats what it was. I was forever googling everything and as soon as I had stopped worrying about one thing, I'd find something else "wrong". Esme is CONSTANTLY flailing about, she never stops moving. Like @TrashKitten10 DD this girl has no chill!!

Well tried to get Esme down for morning nap in cot for a change, one hour, a poonami and full outfit change later she's sleeping on me 🤣🤣. Oh well, these things are sent to try us! She's getting more and more difficult to get down for day naps, however, nighttime sleep is good so who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️. So sitting reading my kindle in the dark!

Got a sing and sign class at 12 then going to pop to post office, hopefully Esme will nap in the carrier! She's so full on at the mo, trying so hard to crawl, rolling front to back now too, blowing raspberries and last night discovered how to scream! 🤣🤣. I need a spa day !!

www.bounty.com/baby-0-to-12-months/development/baby-development-anxiety

@ELW85 She's 9.5 months so sounds like just the right time for separation anxiety to peak 🙈 I also wanted to echo what @MrsEG said about you feeling very worried about things. You seem very anxious about Finn and his development and all that worry can't be good for you. Make sure you're looking out for yourself and your own health as much as you're looking out for Finn's.

@Fivebyfive2 Ahh how annoying Joe didn't settle in his own room. Just when you start to get your hopes up something is going well they throw everything in the air again. Don't feel like a failure though. Being in their own room does seem to help some babies but it won't necessarily help them all. Joe obviously loves being close to his mama :)

@MrsEG Yeah you're going to be doing a lot of balancing a baby on each hip if they both go through a hard phase of separation anxiety 🥴 So pleased your results came back negative and you can get to baby sensory tomorrow :)

@purplefig Wow, three nights sleeping through! That's fab ☺️ Like you say, hopefully that's it now and you'll get a full night more often than not. I think we are starting to move out of the 5am club now thank goodness, it's a slog getting up at that time but I always quite enjoyed the fact we were all fed, washed, dressed, washing hung up etc before the rest of the street was even awake 😂 Your weekend sounds lovely, we had a bbq on the Saturday and then went to a quiet little farm on Sunday which was really enjoyable. The beach was our original plan but omg I'm not battling through those crowds!

@MrsR16 Exciting going to meet the childminder! I'd be asking:

-How do they communicate things like development/feeding/changing/general progress with parents?
-How is their day structured? What opportunities do they have for outdoor play? How often do they get out and about and what do they do outside the house?
-What are their policies on teething related temperatures and the administering of calpol?
-How many adults are in the setting? How many children and what ages?
-What do they typically eat in the day?
-What are the fees and what does this include? Are there any additional charges for snacks or trips out?
-What do you need to provide day to day (if they are very outdoorsy they may ask for puddle suits, if not probably wellies, do they need a water cup/bottle?)

@LikeTheFruit Haha, the girls with no chill ☺️ Can I join you on this spa day 😂 Sounds like nap time was a bit of a nightmare. We are in exactly the same place with fighting day naps but sleeping really well through the night. Daren't complain too much about the day sleep in case we lose the night sleep haha.

@TrashKitten10 oh wow, they're all fantastic questions!! Thank you so much 😊

Thanks everyone.
I’m not offended in any way about the suggestions, and sorry your sister has been through similar @MrsEG. I hadn’t been given the questionaire as @LikeTheFruit mentioned.
I definitely feel like I have some anxiety.
I think because none of the other babies flail around when trying to get them to sleep, and I couldn’t find similar experiences I started freaking out. And then the autism stuff came up.
I know he’s super young to be thinking about that but I’ve gotten myself worked up.
The HV says everything is developmentally appropriate and it’s not in her mind at all. I’m speaking to the GP tomorrow.
Sorry guys and thanks for all of the lovely replies, everyone.

@ELW85 M flails around when going to sleep! Especially when we transitioned her out of the swaddle, man that was rough. But yeah, unless she's totally zonked she'll have a good old roll around before she settles. It's so so so so so fucking hard being a first time mum during a pandemic. So more than anything I'd cut yourself some slack. We haven't had the usual support, we can't go to baby groups and chat it through with people in the same boat etc. So I get the googling and have been there myself, but yeah, like MrsEG said, it sure as hell does zap the fun out of the wonderment of having a baby. I think it sounds like you're taking some fab steps. Big hugs.

@LikeTheFruit can I join the club?! The spa day sounds phenomenal 😂👌🏼 How old is Esme now?

@TrashKitten10 omg yes I get you - we had soooooo much time on the weekend by getting up at 5am, I kind of loved it 😳 sure I'll have changed my tune in a few weeks. Your weekend sounds fab. I've ditched the beaches too until the school hols are over, they are just manic around here.

@MrsR16 yes it's not been the most amazing start to the week 😂 and I had to go and by a new mooncup as my old one is only suitable if you haven't given birth 😅. I have no idea about Qs...but I hope it goes well at the childminders. Maybe what activities they do? What is the structure of the day?

We're just back from an impromptu Meet up with some NCT mums and babies which was lovely. Feels more like how mat leave should be. X

@purplefig - oh my god really? Does she? And she still manages to send herself off!
Thank you so much for all of your lovely words and encouragement.
I always thought I had a better grip on things, but this is fucking hard.
I wish I could join you for a beer (served by Tom 😂) and forget about it all for a night.
I will get there though.
Total sympathy that AF has reared it’s ugly head. I’m on my third now and I don’t think it’s any worse than pre-Finn, which is a result I think 😂

I’ve just taken myself to Starbucks. Needed a skinny latte, and I’ve arranged lunch with an old colleague for Friday. Trying to be brave and get myself back in gear!

@ELW85 don't apologise, lovely!! They say it takes a village and we're possibly the best village you've got at the moment, what with lockdown! Yay for Starbucks! You will absolutely get there - we're all here to support you!

@purplefig oh bless ya! That can't have been much fun... thank you, definitely things to ask! That sounds like a wonderful day! Much more how things should be...

Afternoon all!
Had a fab walk with the NCT gang. Conor was wide awake while Ruairí napped (he’s so damn inquisitive I had to have him in the carrier so he could see everything and everyone!) and then he was so tired he slept in the car all the way home while Ruairí was wide awake babbling away 🙈 Twin problems! God knows how bedtime will go. This sort of thing used to stress me to the nines but I realised today I need the fresh air and chance to be ‘normal’ more than I care about disrupting their routine for the afternoon. Even snuck in some bubbles outside the cafe! I think I’m more tired than the boys are!!

@ELW85 don’t apologise at all, and I again hope you don’t mind me mentioning it. I hope the GP is helpful tomorrow and please be completely honest with her/him too. I remember worrying they’d take the boys off me when I went in (🙈) as I’d been having these daydreams where I would cause them harm. They didn’t do anything of the sort and in fact ensured I got some help. Starbucks sounds wonderful and I’m so pleased you have some plans with your friend too!

@purplefig hurray for the sleeping through!! What time do you put M down? There’s a theory that a slightly earlier bedtime helps them sleep longer (mad I know). It’s something we tried and went from 7:30 bedtime to baths at 6:30 and bed at 7 and for whatever reason, it worked. No more 5:45 they get up between 6:30 and 7 now!
Oh I hope you get some swim classes that would be fabulous!! Ruairí is very chilled and will do whatever but Conor is such an activities kid, very sociable. Had the whole cafe fawning over him today!!

@MrsR16 Hope all goes well with the childminder hun!

@LikeTheFruit Spa day sounds wonderful! It’s tough isn’t it you want them to develop and become mobile and on the move but once they do it’s like.... ah bugger haha! We’ve put the playpen up as Conor rolled in to the fireplace 🙈

@TrashKitten10 I meant to say, thanks for perking my ears to them maybe having too much milk - took their milk feeds down from 9oz to 8 and they’re being sick much less. It’s wonderful haha!

Phew I've missed a lot on here today! Will try to catch up, apologies if I miss anything...

@ELW85, Aaahh hun, definitely do a Google ban and chat to your gp. My friend from nct has pna, the gp advised her to speak with someone after (amongst other things) she was worried her baby was abnormal because he kept grabbing his willy! She's doing better now though. Joe still thrashes around until he goes to sleep (on the rare occasions he isn't fed or rocked to sleep!)

@MrsEG, mate, honestly I've tried everything in there... Different background noise / no noise, different lights/ no lights blah blah blaaaahhh. I'm sure at some point it will fall into place. Great news about the boys and the bottles! Glad you had a nice meet up 🙂

@purplefig, go M, little sleep superstar 👍

@LikeTheFruit, can Joe join the spirited girls?! At 1.30am he was sitting up in his quiet, dark room where I was not making eye contact etc, lurching around and loudly going 'aaaaaagh' 😂

@TrashKitten10 @MrsR16, shamelessly following your childminder chat as it is reminding me to check out nursery options for Joe before it's too late!!

So we had a lovely day, mum and dad came over with my bro and we took Joe to a big garden centre. We had cake, Joe had toast (a fair bit of 2 big slices!!) and loved looking at the pets and plants, especially the birds 🐦🙂

He's currently asleep... In his snuzpod!

Pics attached... Having fun in his tent and wolfing down his toast 😋

Morning all

I’m feeling a lot better today in spite of the fact that Finn refused his last nap yesterday which resulted in me storming out and attempting to drive him to sleep as I’d been rocking him for over an hour when DH came home and just laughed (the second Finn saw him he stopped screaming and smiled).
I wanted to cry my eyes out.

But after three and a half hours, got him into bed falling asleep on his own. No idea why he won’t nap like that anymore but I’ll keep trying.

I might try him in the 50/50 swaddle up tonight and then try to gradually do one arm out again. He’d just been in his sleeping bags (arms out) but unless he’s fed to near sleep, I’d have to hold his hands to go to sleep as he’d either be staring at them so won’t sleep or flailing around. What do we think? All opinions and advice welcome!!

Thanks again everyone for all of your support yesterday (and always). Really couldn’t do it without you all @Fivebyfive2 @purplefig @MrsEG @MrsR16 @TrashKitten10 @LikeTheFruit

And I had no idea that the babies still thrashed around before sleep! I thought you all just put them down and they lay there still and peaceful and just closed their eyes!

@Fivebyfive2 - Joe is living that toast! I must go and get some brekkie at some point.

@MrsEG - honestly I’d never mind you mentioning it! I didn’t know PNA was a thing but it had crossed my mind that I was reading far too much into things. I really don’t think this lockdown helped, but I am feeling much better today. Let’s see what the GP says.
How was your night?
Your afternoon sounds wonderful! I’m really pleased you had a great time 😊

Got my mate popping over today; she’s 6 months pregnant and has a 14 month old, so it’ll be nice to see how she’s getting on.
Have a lovely day everyone!

@MrsEG yesterday sounds just wonderful! It must be so hard sometimes when the boys don't do the same thing at the same time... I can only imagine!

@Fivebyfive2 I'm very sad I've got to go back to work, but realistically, Ethan will be a week off of 11 months when I go back, so it's not so bad! Joe looks like he's enjoying his toast very much!

@ELW85 isn't it bloody awful when they've been creating for you and then DH gets home and they turn the sweetness on?!? Ethan does it all the time - little sod... enjoy your day with your friend! I don't envy her in this heat though, bless her!

Well ladies, after a terrible night last night (took Ethan until nearly half midnight to settle and he was up and about at 05:15!) it turns out I now have a mover on my hands... For those who I'm not already stalking on Insta, here's the link haha!

www.instagram.com/p/CDvl40kH88D/?igshid=1c1cbrfqyv3ic

@MrsR16 - I can totally sympathise with the demonic possession difficulty getting them to sleep! It must be so worth it now he’s moving about though!
I’m so happy for you, and what a lovely video!

@ELW85 I'm definitely a very proud mummy today!! He's worn himself out now though 😂 currently having a nap! Thank you, lovely!

So I spoke to the doc and I raised PNA myself (was talking to her about Finn’s shuddering).
She just went “uhhuh...see how you go”
So I guess I just see how I go!

I really feel like I’m failing today though. Finn was rubbing his eyes after an hour so I brought him up to go to sleep; dummy, cuddles, rocking, nothing would work. I ended up giving him a bit of a bottle and then his dummy again. He eventually went to sleep at the 2h wake time mark.
What am I doing wrong? I was still getting him down in 20 mins for the last couple of days (barring the last nap yesterday).
Have I made him so overtired that he can’t sleep?!
Or does he suddenly want to be awake so much that he can’t sleep until closer to 2 hours (but then what’s with the eye rubbing?!) I’m so confused and 100% feel like I’m failing at this stuff. Can’t believe I’ve gone from putting him down awake with a dummy to feeding to sleep again. How?!?!?!

@MrsR16 - you should be very proud. He’s absolutely thriving!

@ELW85 See a different doctor, they won't all be super clued up on or interested in mental health and for you to raise your concerns and for her to brush you off is pretty poor.

Is it still really hot where you are? The heat is messing with babies sleep I think so try not to read too much into the nap difficulties right now. We are currently half an hour into a nap standoff here. Daisy is pacing the cot and screaming and I'm about to cry with how hot and bothered I am- can't she just settle down and let me have a rest?! I'm giving this battle 15 more minutes and if she's not going to sleep I'm taking her on a drive to get me a McFlurry and she can have a quick snooze in the car 😂

@MrsR16 Lovely video! And you sound super energetic for a lady who's been kept up all night! ☺️ Daisy's night sleep really suffered when she first started crawling, think her mind was super excited by her new skills.

@ELW85 I'd strongly advise you get a second opinion! It's a pain in the bum, but some doctors just don't get/understand postnatal care! As far as Finn goes, you're really not doing anything wrong at all! They are changing every day - the first year is massive for them developmentally and so whatever worked yesterday (heck, whatever worked 2 hours ago) won't necessarily work now. In my (clearly inexperienced!) opinion, I'd go with what Finn needs - it's hard and he may not necessarily need anything other than cuddles! There were times a couple of months back where I seriously thought that I was failing and I thought that I really was a horrendous mum because I couldn't understand what Ethan wanted. We've got through that now and I just try everything until something works or he falls asleep! Sometimes he really doesn't want cuddles but he's extra tired so I'll cuddle him tight until he gives in. Other times (like just now) he's tired enough that just sticking him in my arms is enough - he didn't require any rocking or bouncing!

If you can, please take 10 mins and do something just for you today! Whether that's a walk or a quick drive when DH is able to look after Finn or something else you enjoy - reading a book in the garden? Demolishing a bar of chocolate? We all need a break and you won't be failing to admit that. I do all the time!

@TrashKitten10 cross post! Great minds huh? 😊 ah it's exciting when they reach such a milestone in their little lives! I'm wondering if that together with the heat is why Ethan's been such a bugger recently haha! He's just too excited!

All is quiet and this is all I've got on the monitor 😂 I think I may have won the nap battle but I daren't go back in and check 😬

@MrsR16 Yeah as if heatwave sleep isn't dodgy enough without adding in a big leap! Ethan just wanted to get all the crap sleep out of the way in one go ☺️

@ELW85 Totally agree with @MrsR16 about getting some you time. You deserve a little treat, even if it's just a nice coffee in peace.

@TrashKitten10 woohoo!! That's a gorgeous little foot 😂 I hope she naps ok for you, now she's finally got there 😊