TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

Update! Joe woke up, but I gave him a cuddle, put him down sleepy and he nodded back off in the cot while I sat in the chair!! Hopefully he stays asleep now the thunder etc has stopped.

Also, why does everything seem SO loud now I have a baby to settle?! Rain? Cars? Bird landing on a tree 4 doors down?! Keep it frigging down, you'll wake the baby 😂

@Fivebyfive2 so bloody adorable!! He's looking very pleased with himself! Wonderful that he resettled so quickly! You must be pleased! Tell me about the loudness... 😂 my bloody neighbours are awful. Next door's fine, but a few doors down, they let their kids run riot. There's also a Mustang that starts up at 9pm and gets back at 4am 🤦‍♀️ and also a motorbike with an insanely loud exhaust! I hate it. Thankfully Ethan does alright and there's not much that wakes him up! I have got everything crossed for you, lovely! Tell Joe that Auntie MrsR16 will come and have words if he has a rubbish night! 😂😂😂

@MrsR16, you'll definitely have to come and have a word!! Between Joe, dh and all the fecking noise going on tonight I have literally just screamed into a pillow 😬

Morning all!
I’ll reply properly later but thought I’d check in to the club 😂

@Fivebyfive2 oh no! That doesn't sound good...

@ELW85 I'm checking in too! Hope Finn's back asleep now

Thanks for lovely comments all!

@ELW85 Yes she is really tall, above 99.6th centile for height!! Don't dwell on your argument with DH, we've all been there. It's just sleep deprivation making everything seem worse.

We've arrived in our holiday cottage which is amazing, had a takeaway from local Michelin starred restaurant for dinner last night for a bargain £30 ( we ordered all 3 main courses🤣🤣). E did such a great job in the car for so long, took us 7 hours to get here including the 3 stops we did. Very little day time sleep yesterday (under 2 hours) but slept from 8pm til 5:25am with a v short wake up at 9pm / she must have been exhausted!! She's back asleep on me after a huge feed (thank god, thought my boobs were going to explode!).

So nice to be somewhere different!

Found this, a lovely read for anyone, especially those having a hard time xx

www.mother.ly/life/what-do-new-mothers-do-all-day/but-heres-where-it-gets-interesting

@LikeTheFruit, I'm insanely jealous of your holiday and food... And Esme sleeping 😂 Have a fab time, you deserve it xx

@ELW85 @MrsR16, how are you doing after last night?

@MrsEG, how was yesterday for dh at the gym?!

Well, after such a promising start, Joe woke again at 9 and again at 10.30. By 11.15 I gave up and into the snuzpod he went... Still didn't go off until gone 12.30! He then woke at 3.45 and again at 5.15. He's just gone off for a 'nap' / last bit of night sleep, depending on how you view it.

For anyone stressing about sleep, I can say I now officially dngaff anymore, I'm just doing whatever works at any given time because, honestly, I've tried it all... Routine, go with flow, feed him up, tire him out, cot, pod, feeding to sleep, self settling... Makes zero bloody difference!! He'll do it when he's ready. Ha ha watch me on here in 48 hours saying the total opposite 🤷‍♀️

Sorry, I mean it all makes zero difference to Joe, I don't mean those of you who do routines or whatever shouldn't bother, I think anyone who can actually do a routine or get them to reliably self soothe is a hero! Xx

Hi all - sorry I've been MIA. I'm having a bit of a mare tbh. M has had hand foot and mouth and her feet were driving her crazy, as a result she's up nearly ever hour through the night for over a week. I am beyond exhausted. It's clearing up now, so I'm going to start doing that gradual retreat thing (has anyone heard of this? It's on that famous "here's what worked for us" sleep thread). I feel quite delirious with exhaustion and I just don't feel like I'm really enjoying the days, because we're up all night. I can't believe she's over 5 months and literally worse at sleeping than she was during cluster feeding newborn days.

Morning all

Thanks for the support with DH. We’ll obviously get through it and don’t mean it, it’s just awful May the time.

Well Finn was a screaming overtired mess at bedtime. Wouldn’t even go into his crib.
Got him down eventually and he slept pretty well but he was crying at 5am overtired.
I think I’m gonna spend a few days getting him caught up on his sleep; clearly yesterday was tough for him!
I also think I’ll need to reduce his wake times.
At this stage though, I just want him to feel better so any sleep anyhow I guess.

@Fivebyfive2 - our DHs are basically the same. Whenever Finn was crying, he’d be like: “give him boob” and it would really get to me because we weren’t addressing the issues, just the symptom, but because DH hated hearing him cry which made the feed to sleep thing really tough. He still sucks to sleep but now he’s going off his dummy, I’m kind of stuck!

@LikeTheFruit - Finn is the same for height! Have a wonderful holiday 😀 we’ve got one planned for the end of August; can’t wait!!

@MrsR16 - how was Ethan? Finn settled within 20 mins which is unheard of!

@purplefig - oh god, poor M! How are you doing? It sounds really stressful.
I’ve heard of gradual retreat, but I’ve decided I’m not doing anything formal until after 6 months (if at all) and not until I’ve got his sleep debt sorted. It’s awful seeing him so tired; it’s only come on in the past day or so. Argh!
It’s awful when their sleep is worse than newborn stage. Do you think the regression just knocked her for six?

Morning ladies, just catching up.

Re: issues with DH, oh we’ve been there. Has anyone ever read the feminist comic about a woman’s mental load? I’ll link it here. It resonates with me a LOT. I actually passively aggressively sent this to DH after another weekend of me cleaning and cooking during every nap as he just sat and watched TV and I’d had enough. Alarmingly enough it provoked a very heartfelt apology and he’s been pretty good since. Let’s see how long it lasts...

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

@purplefig Oh poor M, glad to hear it’s clearing up now. Sleep deprivation is utter torture. Do you have any help available at all? I really hope you’re all getting some rest again soon!

@ELW85 As above, me and DH have many a tiff these days! I swear he thinks the boys are ‘my job’ while I’m on maternity leave. He has been a lot better since we basically had it out last week. He still needs a prod every now and again but I just feel like finally, 6 months later he finally understands what I’ve been getting angry about!! They’re not ‘my job’ they’re our family! The house is his house too! It’s all shared responsibilities!!!

@Fivebyfive2 Ah I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with Joe. Remember it’s all a phase, it’ll all pass by. We’re all still in Year One - the hardest of times!! These long sleepless nights will be a thing of the past in the blink of an eye :)

@LikeTheFruit ahh your holiday sounds fantastic - and what a great journey too! Have a wonderful time, it must be so nice to have a change of scenery and get away after this ruddy lockdown! We’re away in November in the Lakes. You’ll have to share any ‘travelling with baby’ learnings when you get back!

@MrsR16 Hope Ethan had an okay night?

Ah thanks so much for those checking in on DH gym - he said it went really really well, members very respectful of the new rules in place and hygiene / PPE all in place etc. I am SO hoping to get the thumbs up to return to exercise from my physio soon too so I can join him in there!!

@LikeTheFruit Oh I love that link you shared too, thanks for posting. It’s so true! I did about 4 piles of washing on Friday when my parents were here as it had all piled up. I can wear the same pair of sweatpants all week and am averaging a shower maybe every 3 days! The only thing I ever really manage of a day is to keep their bottles cleaned, and the dishwasher goes on right before I go to bed. Everything else waits!! I find as they’re so mobile now too I want to spend my time just playing with them or watching them roll and wriggle about! And the snuggles are just the best, the boys are at a stage now where they’ve started throwing their arms around my neck when I hug them 😍

@LikeTheFruit enjoy your holiday! It sounds wonderful 😊

@Fivebyfive2 @ELW85 @MrsEG Ethan didn't do too badly. He woke up at 03:50 and was a bit hit and miss after that 😂 but we survived! DH had a lie in this morning and I have a feeling he's going to be doing DIY most of the day... 🙄

@Fivebyfive2 I'm still doing whatever it takes for Ethan! 😂 Joe will work it out eventually

@purplefig oh I'm so sorry to hear about M! I really feel for you - it's not easy being sleep deprived!

@ELW85 oh my goodness, Finn! It's never fun when they're overtired...it is so difficult for them! They're so excited to be out and about that when they are, they don't nap! 😂 damn lockdown... 20 minutes! Super baby!!

@MrsEG I'm glad yesterday went ok at the gym! It must be such a relief for you and DH!

I'll reply properly latter but thought I'd share Esme enjoying the view

@LikeTheFruit what an incredible view!! Hope you’re having a great time.

@MrsR16 It’s such a relief - life feels a bit more ‘normal’ again and he can be properly earning again!! It does mean some very long days for him coming up but fingers crossed, I’ll be okay flying solo!
Ah Ethan, I guess he didn’t do too bad?? How has DH gotten on with his DIY?

@LikeTheFruit aw, Esme's definitely got a great view! That looks beautiful 😊

@MrsEG you'll absolutely smash it, don't you worry! He's not done too badly - fitted a door and some skirting board lol I'm sure there's not a straight wall in this house! He was having hell and all trouble with the door... 🙄 but we'll get there. If I get a job that I've applied for, we'll be able to afford to do it all properly (maybe even have people come and do it for us!!) 😂

Morning all

How are we? I’m gutted it’s grey and miserable here. There goes my plan for a daily walk and another delay in the gardening.

@MrsEG - I really liked that link. Things are loads better with DH; definitely just a minor tiff but just so weird when you go from never arguing to arguing. Anyway.
So pleased that your DH is getting the gym sorted; must be such a relief!
I can definitely relate to the piles of washing and sweatpants 😂 I need to get on it more though if we’re going to be doing viewings of the house.

@LikeTheFruit - that view is incredible! I hope you’re having an awesome time, and I can also massively relate to the link you shared. We definitely put too much pressure on ourselves I think.

@MrsR16- good luck with the job application! When do you find out?

@ELW85 morning! How did Finn do last night? Thank you! I'm waiting to hear whether I've got an interview or not at the moment, but inside knowledge says the interviews are mid-August haha! 😊 I've also got another interview this Thursday. If I'm lucky enough to be offered both, I'm going to be really torn!!

@ELW85 sorry about the tiff with DH, I guess having a baby is bound to bring up new stuff. Both shattered, less time for the relationship etc. FWIW I think you're DH is being really unreasonable though. I would literally be a broken woman if I had to do all the settling. To get through these last few weeks DH and I do shifts, so he's on all resettling 10pm - 2am. I'm not saying that to show off 😳 just to say that it really shouldn't be all on you, you're important and need sleep too ❤️. Along the lines of the comic, this article is so good: www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/. I posted it in the TTC thread too. Weather is crap here too - sun comes out at 7pm which is helpful when you've got a baby isn't it?! 😂

@LikeTheFruit what a view! Lucky Esme 😍

@MrsEG so pleased for your DH that his gym opening has gone well, he must be chuffed! Just seen about one of the boys standing too....that is incredible!!!!

@Fivebyfive2 sorry to hear you're having a rotten time of it with Joes sleep. It's complete torture isn't it?! Have you got any support nearby? Can you catch up in the day? We've been barely getting by and I've got to the point of grim determination that something has to change.

So we started the gradual retreat idea from that semi famous mumsnet thread last night. As I said to Fivebyfive2, I've got to to the point where I'm not functioning properly and am absolutely and resolutely determined that it has to change. I think that helped massively. Anyway, it went surprisingly well. She kicked off big time at bedtime, but I stayed with her and as soon as she was on her front she was asleep in minutes. Took 20 mins in total. She was then up about two hourly, which I know isn't great but it's SO much better than every 45 mins - 1 hr. but crucially, we managed to get her back to sleep in the cot each time. First few wake ups took 20 mins, lots of cross crying, but from 2am+ it was 5 mins, no crying, just a bit of patting.

She's just gone down for her morning nap in 5 mins, no crying. I don't want to get ahead of myself, and I'm certain they'll be setbacks, but I am SO relieved things are looking positive. We both feel like new humans after a bit more sleep.

Original thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

@purplefig - oh I know you’re not saying it to show off; I think both chipping in is normal!
DH has since offered to do shifts. I think he realises he’s gotten off way too lightly!
I’m so pleased the gradual retreat got off to a good start! I’m off to read the thread you posted now 😀

@MrsR16 - ooh, that’s awesome! If you get offered both, you can negotiate for a better deal too.
Finn has got this habit of waking up around 00:30 quickly resettling then waking up again around 3 for a feed. Then comes the dreaded 5.30 I’m awake but not but wriggling routine which I struggle to get him back down from...at least he’s predictable haha!
How was Ethan last night?

@MrsR16 Best of luck with the interviews! I think you’re amazing being able to do all of that around looking after Ethan!

@ELW85 Absolutely. Our tiffs these days are ALL house related too. I think it’s finally sinking in though. He apologised again yesterday; he was so good yesterday and kept on top of the sterilising, made all the feeds, got a wash on, hung it, made dinner. But by the end of it he was shattered and he said himself he realises now just how much I get done in a day for very little reward!
How was the house? Is yours listed for sale now?

@purplefig I know! Ruairí can’t do it at all but Conor is just so strong on his legs now. I don’t think we’ll have any trouble getting him moving at all! He loves doing it now too, has a big grin on his face!
So so pleased to hear your night last night was better - do you feel better for it today?

@MrsEG - I’m really pleased your DH is doing all that. It’s a huge task with one, so I’m in awe that you do it with two. DH is usually awesome around the house; he’ll come in, do the obvious jobs and ask me what else needs doing; it’s just the night settling he’s not touching. To be fair, he gets up in the night to make a bottle up but my concern is, imagine if something happened to me; he genuinely wouldn’t know what to do.
I need to talk to a different agent today. The first was rubbish on fees.
DH is booking a day off to do the odd jobs he’s been meant to finish for months. I’ve told him I’m waiting on him because I doubt I’ll be able to touch up the odd bit of paintwork with captain crap nap waking up every sleep cycle 😂

@MrsEG that's just incredible for 5.5 months! Bet your DH is already planning his athletic career 😂👌🏼. Oh I feel SO much better thanks. I kept thinking of your comment about how it's quicker to reach breaking point with 2. I think I just hadn't got there until now, but once you do it's like this steely resolve has washed over me. Luckily M is up for it too!

@MrsR16 all the best for the interview! So impressed you can do one tbh, I can barely string a sentence together atm 😅

@ELW85 so pleased your DH is on board, sometimes they just need a kick up the butt! I'm on about page 12, but it's really good stuff as it seems to work pretty much for everyone. They are mainly babies 6+ months mind. Hope the next agent is better 🤞🏼

@purplefig I hope it works for you! I'm glad last night was an improvement! I don't know how well it's going to go to be fair! 😂 I just know Ethan's going to have a rubbish night Wednesday so I'll be a dribbling wreck on Thursday and they'll go "why on earth were you given an interview?!?"

@ELW85 ah, that's an issue - both are public service and so no negotiation is possible! 😂 one's full time and earns a hell of a lot more, but the other's part time and so I'd still spend some good time with Ethan... he didn't do too badly last night. DH ended up with him though and resettled him 4 or 5 times. No idea why he wouldn't settle properly, but we all managed to catnap from about 3:40 😂 Captain crap nap... literally made me die! 🤣🤣

@MrsEG thankfully I have a pretty good MIL who's having him for me on Thursday. It's getting to the time where I need to tell work that I'm going back (8 weeks' notice is bloody awful to tell them I'm going back!) so I need to figure out what I'm doing.

Ethan's been babbling away this morning! He makes me laugh... when he's not screaming for food because, clearly, he's wasting away 😂