TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

@ELW85, I think we just waited it out to be honest, but Joe is still very hit and miss with going to sleep on his own. I cheat really and feed until verrry sleepy and then cuddle a bit then put him down. Must do better!

@Fivebyfive2 - not at all! Everyone is different and it’s all about what works for you!

This (well, what I'm hoping is) sleep regression is killing me... half 4 wide awake this morning! Did not settle back down. Cue me having a meltdown, DH taking him and letting him sleep on his chest for 40 mins. This ends, right?!?

@MrsR16 - I truly hope so! I’ve had not too dissimilar a night to you. Cue DH going to sleep downstairs as he’s got work and me perched over a crib with Finn staring up at me babbling away, giggling and smiling.

I feel like I’m in this weird Limbo - he doesn’t want his dummy any more to get to sleep, he wants to self soothe...but he hasn’t got the motor skills nailed down yet to do it consistently.
As a result, he wakes up upset as he’s tired and he’s not able to get back to sleep but he won’t take his dummy as he would. HELP!!

@ELW85 I would say coffee's the order of the day, but I don't even drink the stuff!! 😂 at least Finn's trying to self-soothe... Ethan still wants everything done for him 😂 such a lazy child haha!

Morning all!

Hope everyone is doing good. Seeing all the posts about terrible sleep - nightmare, hope it starts to improve for you soon! ‘This too shall pass!’

We had a proper day out on Sunday! I was quite nervous about it, worried I’d bugger our naps etc. And it did! But it was still great!! The boys were on amazing form at the park with the family. We attempted to try them on the baby swings but it was far too busy (memo about social distancing lost on toddlers!) but we had some food and some wine and a nice big walk. Their naps were all over the place and the afternoon one non-existent - yes bedtime was hellish but once down they slept all night.
It’s ripped the plaster off, in a sense - I just need to get out there more with them! I could spend all day worrying about how a day out could go wrong with two babies but if I do that I’ll blink and be back at work. We’re gonna take them for a big trip to the forest this weekend! I’m booked on to a 4-week baby Sensory course soon too.

I’ll properly catch up with the thread later on but as luck would have it I can now smell a code brown situation on the playmat. Fingers crossed it’s just one and not a double...!

@MrsR16 - OMG how do you survive without coffee? Do you have caffeine at all? I didn’t have any when I was pregnant and now I’m back to gold status at Starbucks (Finn is on formula now).
How do you even get him to sleep? I’m starting to regret breaking the feed to sleep association 😂

@MrsEG - ah that’s wonderful! I’m scared of doing a big day out like that in case Finn doesn’t fall asleep and a screaming meltdown in public ensues!

@MrsR16, I'm in the exact place I think, since Saturday Joe's sleep has gone from bad but managed to just awful!! Takes ages to get him m down, constantly waking up and the extended wakes are creeping back. I was in tears at 2am!! Also with you on having a lazy boy... Self soothing?? Pah!! And on the rare times he does, it makes absolutely zero difference anyway!!

@ELW85, ha ha how weird, I'm currently regretting doing feed to sleep, but must admit when the chips are down it's almost a relief knowing he'll go off if boob is offered! Just shows, we are doomed to 3nd guess, whatever we decide!!

@Fivebyfive2 @MrsR16 - we need this mansion and we need it now!!
That way when we’re all crying at 2am, 3am, 4am we can be in it together!!

Put him down for his first nap and he’s out like a light. Face against his cuski, hands up, like nowts the matter. Why not at 4am?!
He had a bottle just gone 3am and absolutely downed it. Back to bed no tears just happy to sit and chat?!

Guys I’ve found an arms up swaddle; do you think I should get it or keep going as he’ll have to get used to his own space without a swaddle sooner rather than later?

@Fivebyfive2 - it’s honestly the most bizarre thing in the world. Don’t want my dummy, want my hand on there instead. Wait! Where’s the dummy gone?! I can’t get to sleep quick enough with my hand.
Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!
I know that settling methods change all the time and they stop working but I feel like he doesn’t have a settling method now?!

@ELW85 Personally I wouldn’t - at his age he’ll be rolling soon and then he can’t be swaddled anyway. He’ll get there, don’t worry!! It just takes a while for them to suss it out. I tried the one arm in and one out and it just did nothing so just went right to their sleeping bags, and they were fine in those after a few days of getting used to them.
I used to find if the boys had a large feed after 3am it was hard to get them down again, they thought it was breakfast. Someone said to me once ‘babies can’t tell time!’ - which is why they like the routine, if that makes sense? I weaned the boys off night feeds, it isn’t for everyone though. It did work for us though!
I was very scared of a public meltdown and then just thought - who cares? What’s the worst that could happen. They both go ballistic at once and Karen tuts at me from another table. I just can’t let it stop me going out anymore; I am going absolutely stir crazy!!!

@MrsEG - yeah you’re right and if he has to get used to it anyway, the last few nights may as well have served a purpose to help him get used to not being swaddled!
I’m sure he is getting there, just feels like a long time at the moment 😂
He’s draining the bottles, so I’m not sure if it’s a growth spurt. He’s in the middle of a leap at the moment too so I think he’s got a lot going on.
I’m not sure whether to keep pressing the dummy for nap and bedtimes or just let him fall asleep without it and pray to god he can settle himself at night. The stupid thing is, I’ve watched him do it night and day so I know he can!
You actually made me lol about Karens. I don’t care about the public scrutiny, it’s more if he’s kicking off because he wants to sleep and I’m not getting him to sleep coz we’re out what do I actually do?!
You’re right though, I need to go for it. You did it with twins!

I've just taken the plunge and purchased the little ones sleep programme for 6-24 month old!

@Fivebyfive2 - how are you feeling about it? Does it look decent?

@ELW85, well to be honest I've thought about it a few times but have been sceptical. But after last night I just thought F It, even if it doesn't work, it can't get much worse!! It looks very thorough to be fair. You put in baby's birthday and due date and they do a schedule, but can be adjusted accordingly. You get alerts for feeds, when to start settling and nap times etc. There's lots of info on different settling options; I'm currently reading through the best ways to help settle if they're used to being fed to sleep. It seems very gentle, the max they recommend leaving them to cry is 6 mins. I'll just have a read through it all this week and hopefully start implementing it at the weekend. Wish me luck!!

@ELW85 both boys have ditched the dummy now! And it wasn’t my choosing haha. Conor did ages ago, Ruairí only really in the last two weeks. I don’t mind so much I guess but it takes my foolproof ‘go back to sleep’ option away when they’re really fussy!!! But they’re just not interested, Ruairí literally just takes it out of his mouth himself!
So the going out / sleep thing, now (as in literally since this weekend!) I just figure if they get tired when we’re out, they’ll sleep. So what if it’s not at our usual times. That’s pretty much what happened yesterday, they had like 4 small naps. I went out again today and their big lunch nap was just one hour in the pram and then they were up. I’ll just let them sleep a bit longer later on to catch up if they need it. I just need to get out; I feel like staying in as much as I do isn’t healthy anyway (I genuinely hardly get out) but it makes me obsess over their naps and stuff too and it was just all driving me mad. I figure one or two days a week just thinking ‘sod it let’s see what happens’ can’t hurt and will do wonders for me mentally! Plus my sister was saying to me even the days out that just go horrible wrong, it’s all making memories - those are the days you’ll be telling them about when they’re older. ‘I remember when we were potty training you and you wee’d all over the floor in B&Q’!! It’s not gonna work every time but I’m just trying to relax more in to that, like that’s okay. Conor got a bit upset when he woke in the pram today but he soon settled. Being in all these new environments I think they’re enjoying too!

@Fivebyfive2 Good luck lovely - a colleague of mine used that one! She raved about it!

@MrsEG - that’s a brilliant perspective to be fair! You’ve inspired me to just get out there and go for it.
Once I’m sure Finn’s ok with his sleep...he isn’t acting grouchy or tired but I swear he’s getting bags under his eyes and I think it’s because his night sleep is so light with him flinging his arms around everywhere. He definitely isn’t lying there awake and not crying, I can vouch for that!
He’s funny with his dummy now. Will have it for a bit, projectile spit it out and then send himself to sleep.
Great...apart from when you’re too tired to send yourself to sleep mate and you end up screaming at me!! 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - sounds like it’s worth a go, and you’ll smash it! The only thing I would say is don’t get caught up in the claims of never ending naps etc. They’re still all different and it might take him some time to adjust. I read some of their articles about 12 week olds being able to have a 3 nap a day routine and be awake for 2 hours. Finn would have a meltdown!! So don’t put yourself under lids of pressure but I’m sure it’ll work well for you.

@ELW85, yeah I'm not sure the timings will really work, especially as they also do feed times and Joe still feeds whenever really, but if I can just get a rhythm going, that'll be something! My main aim is to use their 'settling' section as they have a big bit on how to help babies who feed to sleep. Weirdly his day sleep is pretty good right now, touch wood; he had a 2 hour lunchtime nap today, 3rd day running! I find it's late afternoon and night time when it all starts going to pot!

@MrsEG, that's pretty much my attitude with taking Joe out to be honest! If he's hungry, I'll feed and if he's tired I walk around with him until he drops off.

@Fivebyfive2 Yeah, that’s exactly where my head has gotten to now. It’s not like it’s every day! I just make sure I take baby carriers out too and I’m not brave enough to go it alone with them both yet, so needs to be when DH or my family can come along, but yep they’ll sleep when they need to and let me know when they’re hungry! It’s been so worth it to get out the last few days. I just make an effort to stick to bedtime and hope for the best!!
From what I remember from my colleague she said she used that plan as a guide, she said she didn’t stick to it rigidly but used the techniques etc. She got in touch with me about it to recommend it when the boys were about 4 months old but I was already deep in to our sleep training then ha! Really hope it works for you!
How’s Joe getting on with his food? We’re weaning from next weekend!

@ELW85 Definitely give it a go! Ah sorry to hear you’re having a rough time of it. Could it be the sleep regression at all? It messed with the boys naps and sleep so much especially Ruairí. Jesus one night I was sat for over an hour settling him. And I knew he knew how to do it himself. It’s so painful - solidarity, lots of coffee, chocolate and wine!!!

😭 after a horrific day, Ethan went to sleep as normal but is now wide awake! Stupidly tired, but awake... send help! (Or brandy!)

@MrsR16, omg I put how down at 7.30 and have already re settled him, wtf is going on with these babies at the moment??!! I've got some chocolate pofitoroles to devour, of he stays asleep long enough for me to inhale them 😂🤦‍♀️ Weirdly, Joe had a very good day, so far it's just the nights that are unbelievably awful!! Xx

@Fivebyfive2 - I bet he’s just starting to link his days together :) it’ll all fall into place! I hope you have a lovey night tonight.

@MrsEG - I keep wondering about the regression. I REALLY hope because he’s been putting himself to sleep I somehow avoid it 😂

@MrsR16 - bloody hell! What is going on?! Does he stay asleep if you co-sleep? I’m all about survival at the moment.

Well ladies, dream house I linked you to has been reduced so we’re under the 500k threshold and are going to view it on Saturday, and ours is going up on Thursday. But if a swift turnaround but the stamp duty holiday will save us £15k so can’t afford not to really!
Very excited and nervous all at once!

@Fivebyfive2 @MrsR16 - why do I feel like I’m gonna be ‘seeing’ you here at 3am when Finn does his party time trick?
Good luck, and I really hope we all have an awesome night. Or at least have brandy and profiteroles to see us through 😂

@MrsEG, sorry I missed your food comment! It's going really well thanks, he loves his food! We're going to start breakfast this weekend, so he'll be on 2 small meals (breakfast and tea) and 1 larger meal at lunchtime, then we can gradually build it up as he gets older. I still give him my batch cooking, but he does have a lot of pouches too I must admit! I think the consistency is a bit easier for him to manage with the pre made stuff; I blend it down but it's always lumpier/thicker and although he can eat it OK, I did wonder if that's why he was a bit constipated at the weekend? How do you feel about weaning?? Double trouble for you 😛

@MrsR16, talking of weaning, now that Ethan has 3 meals a day, what sort of stuff does he have and when? I usually give Joe a 'main meal' at lunch, like a pouch of pasta or roast dinner etc and at tea time he has almost breakfast food, like porridge, or those yogurty breakfast pouches. But then, what shall I give for breakfast?! I keep thinking of toast and eggs etc but he's still not good with finger foods?! Xx