Septermber 07 poppers.....please meet here!

[dal21]

Hi ladies - cannot see a thread for the sept ladies who have popped. Thought I would start one (hope I havent been totally blind and missed one already set up)

we can share our trials and tribulations of our LO's here!

Morning all.

Just a quick gee up to all you bf ladies... IT DOES GET EASIER I bf Sam for 5 months but like alot of the comments I am hearing you are tied to your baby 24/7 and the sofa This is the reason why I didn't want to bf Ben especially with a 2 year old in tow, I just knew I wouldn't be able to cope with it. I did the first 24 hours in hospital and I was intending to do a week or two, but became so sore I stopped earlier. The only reason I am regretting not bf is the fact that I lost weight quicker and my tummy went down quicker, but the benefits I am finding atm are outweighing this. I had a fab night sleep last night, probably the best in 6 months

24 hours in on the colief drops and Ben is so much more settled between feeds, also dh did the 8pm and 11.30pm feeds last night, I was in bed asleep by 8.30pm, he bought Ben in to the moses basket at 12.30am I woke up briefly but then went back to sleep and Ben didn't wake for his next feed till 3.15am (although it was 5am before he went back to sleep - he just seems to have a very awake time about then) I then dozed off again and woke up at 6.45 the next feed. I just feel so much better today, also Sam is at nursery all day so I intend sleeping at some point today too

ANYWAY - YOU ARE ALL DOING A FAB JOB WITH THE BF AND YOU DESERVE A medal

Bgger. bgger. b*gger. I wrote that, read it through, and decided I'd better not post it. But ds2 banged on the laptop and managed to post it. Please ignore it. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I'll feel better soon. Sorry!

thanks for your message fio. I agree its that time after school that is the most challenging. I also know what you mean about that tightening round the chest, but at least its not painful now. Not sure I want to feel like this for months though. I make a crap patient.

Oh Kinki

So glad the post got on and we managed to read how you are feeling.

I find things so difficult with just a newborn baby so I really take my hat off to anyone with kids too-I don't know how you do it.

Firstly-sounds like you are doing really bloody well! You obviously don't hear that enough!

Secondly, im a mental health nurse and caanot believe what those GP's implied about you!!

Only you can decide whether to have AD's or not but if you are feeling depressed, I would definately speak to a GP, you can request to change if you feel the relationship with your current one is difficult but I understand you may feel awkward doing this.

Have you had the PND check yet?

You have a lot of pressures at the moment and DH needs to be supportive-whether or not he has/is suffering from depression.

You are unwell too-is there any chance you can have a complete day off and get to bed? I realise this is probably absolutely ridiculous but do you have any friends who would take and collect kids from school and someone in family who would take baby if you express enough for day?

Keep talking to us-we are here for you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MrsMar-Sorry you didn't get very good results from BFing person. What position do you use?

kinki - i am outraged that your gp's have blamed you for your dh's depression - how ridiculous ! You deserve a break love -please come on here and let off steam anytime ! IS there anyone that can come in and help you if your dh can't do it ?Also PIL should be bringing dinner with them !! Definitely get takeaways tonight and don't go to the shops - you've just had pneumonia ffs! Can you ring school and change appt so you can get to the doc ? Please take care of yourself! love and hugs xx

Ditto the last post, that is outrageous. Also you should be looking after yourself otherwise you are never going to get over the pregnancy and pneumonia {{hugs}}

Hi ladies - you probably can't find my details as I never posted on the due Spet thread as I was due in Oct - I have been popping on here though as I know some of the ladies from the Oct thread who then had their bubs in Sept...

For those who are interested -
Adam born at 12.51pm by elective c-section (after previous emergency one) on Tues 2nd October weighing in at 7lb 14oz.

Hope all going well with you all!

Hello everyone...

Kinki - so sorry to hear you've had a bad day... I hope you're able to get some support and help from your inlaws or dh soon, I think you should play the guilt card, looking after a newborn when you've got pneumonia is far too much for you to take on, esp with two other children to look after. Is Liam wakeful for any particular reason or is he just a night time grizzler? Don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself, you deserve it! It sounds like your gps have been pretty unprofessional making comments like that.

Thanks for the kind messages about bfing... I'm very happy today! At luca's weigh in with the hv he was 8lb2oz, which means he's put on a whopping 7oz this week!! I'm absolutely made up, esp as I thought I'd had a bad week this week and my milk supply was diminishing! I hope this can inspire anyone else having doubts... I really thought he'd have lost weight this week, I thought we'd not done well at all with the bfing, but obviously it's going swimmingly! Of course it still takes an absolute age, but who cares if I can keep up that kind of weight gain!

Thanks so much for the support mrsF... it's good to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Edie - I'm currently feeding with the rugby ball hold (football hold?) I started like that cos of my cs, it was more comfortable with my scar. I can't seem to get it right with the more traditional hold, I can do it in an emergency, but it feels all wrong. Luca's head lolls about too much. Hopefully it'll get easier as he gets able to control his head a bit more.

I can second the fact that expressing is no indication of milk supply, I showed my hv what I thought was my pathetic amount of ebm (2oz from two sessions) and she said that was fantastic esp as I'd expressed after an hour feeding. That boosted me no end!!

MrsB - I offer both breasts at each feed, actually at the moment it's more like 45 mins on each side, cos I didn't think he was getting much from my right side. It's always been my rubbish booby!

Fettle, I do the same! I'm always checking Luca when I'm feeding and spotting bits of sick I've missed and lovely bits of fluff in the creases of his neck! Poor love is just trying to get a good feed and there I am peering in his ears or at his neck!

Great news about your lovely sleep dal! May it be the first of many!

I'm hoping for similar nights soon, my hv has said I don't have to wake Luca at night now, but let him wake himself up. Last night I fed him at 11pm to midnight and again at 3am, but he hadn't woken up, I had to wake him up, so hopefully if I'm not waking him up he'll go a bit longer, maybe even 4 or 5am!! Hope springs eternal!

I hope everyone has a good night with lovely quiet babies!

xx

Quick hi before I express and head off to bed. LO is lying on DH quite happily right now sticking a proverbial 2 fingers up at my attempts to have him in bed by 7.

Kinki - I am aghast (and dare I actually say it disbelieving of what your DH has said the GP's have said - are you sure that DH hasnt misinterpreted something they said?) It seems mightily odd that GP's would make such a strong comment based on the limited amount of time they spend with a patient. You must speak to someone about how you are feeling - and keep posting on here. It isnt until you voice your feelings, you find out you arent alone. I for one am stunned at how many others find Bfeeding tough going; even if physically there arent any problems, but I would never have known that if I hadnt have posted. We are all here to support one another.

MrsM - FAB news on the weight gain!! You must be so unbelievably chuffed and rightly so! well done you!

right heading off - heres fingers and toes crossed to another good sleep for me and ryan! wishful thinking methinks!

Morning Everyone

Kinki I am really sorry to hear what a tough time your having and at your GP. Where on earth did he qualify from!.

I hope everyone had a good night sleep and that BF is getting better for you. I am trying to getting Poppy into some sort of routine to regulate her feeding a bit more and bless her she followed it completely yesterday waking herself right on cue, so fingers crossed it wasn't a fluke!. HV came yesterday to weigh her and reassured me again to ignore MW as she is on the same centile that she was born on so is on a perfect growth line.

I'm really at these "health care professionals" that don't realise the weight that their title holds. These GP's and MW don't seem to realise that we trust them and look to them for help and guidance and when they go off spouting rubbish it really worries and upsets us.

Anyway I'm attempting to do Oxford Street today, I must be mad!. Followed by a 3 hour car journey back to my parents for the weekend. SO here comes a stressful day I feel!. I hope everyone has a great day and weekend if I don't manage to get on.

xxx

Morning all!

Nicki - fab news on your weight gain also! Ryan hasnt been weighed for 3 weeks - I hope to cheekily get him weighed today at hospital when I pop in for my 6 week check up. Otherwise will have to wait til Ryans 6 week check up next week. But he is growing heaps and out of his new baby clothes so am not worried.

Am with you on the 'health professionals'. The midwives and HV who came to see me were useless when it came to anything! Think it is like anything - so depends on the person you get I guess. You have picked a great day for oxford street, weather is lovely.

Have great days everyone. Hope everyone is doing ok - especially those who arent posting. My thoughts are with everyone.

Hugs
xx

morning everyone,

Mrsmar, so glad that luca is putting on weight nicely, you must be so relieved.

Kinki, I can't believe the gp would say something so stupid of course you are not to blame for your partners depression, that has made me really Hope you are having a better day today. I am in awe of how much you have taken on and how well you seem to be juggling everything.

Nicki, so pleased the weight gain is good. I am impressed, don't think I could brave the tube to oxford street! Hope you have a good time at your parents.

fettle, I am another mother baboon who likes to groom her baby but she only gives me ten mins to do it !

Well, I had an interesting day yesterday, found out bella has thrush which may have something to do with her weird feeding pattern. Can't believe the hv didn't pick it up. So hopefully once we cure her of it her feeds might get better I still feel down about everything but hopefully if she starts gaining weight it will make me feel like a less useless mother. Better go, she is screaming...not sure why as I've just fed her

hope everyone is doing well today xx

hi girls congrats on all the arrivals!!! i was due 30th of september but little Evie arrived 3rd oct.was a stressful labour as she was laying on a nerve at bottom of my back,so the contractions just all rolled into one!!! they couldnt pick her heart beat up properly, so after many many examinations, i had emergancy forceps.
isnt it just evil that after the pain of labour, u then have the pain of stitches!!
but saying that of course she couldnt b more worth it, she is such an angel, she feeds every 3-4 hours and sleeps 4 hours a time at nite, she seems very content at the moment!! iam just trying to get the motivation to get my lard arse of the sofa and do the house work instead of just staring at evie sleeping!!!

Morning all

Kinki - so sorry you had such a rough day yesterday, hope your night was a little bit better. If the gp's really did say that it is disgusting and I'm so sorry these things have even been put in your head, but like Dal said could your Dh have misinterpreted what they said? Like you I work for the NHS too and find it astonishing any health worker would ever say somthing so unprofessional - could the Gp have sympathised perhaps that a young family will of course create stressful situations for all involved and your DH has heard that as the stress is your fault? Only speculating - probably way off! Is it worth trying to talk to the GP you have known for ages, hard though that may be, to voice these concerns and hopefully set the record straight?

I can only say how full of admiration I am for how amazingly you cope with 3 DCs, a DH who has been away/working long hours and appears not to be as supportive as he could be, plus your ongoing medical issues and a hospital admission and I'm so sorry that people have not rallied round for you like they did for your DH when you were in hospital - but I think that does show what a brilliant mum and wife you are keeping the family going, and when you are out of action for a few days it takes loads of people to do what you do single-handedly every day.

Sorry to be blunt but I think your DH needs a big kick up the arse (though I sympathise that his depression does make things more complicated) to help you out a bit more and support you - I'm sure he feels tired and crappy but you have given birth (having major abdominal surgery in the process) and just been hospitalised for pneumonia FFS! When the DTs arrived I was so jealous of my DH going back to work as he had a start and finish time when I was on call 24/7 and I eventually pointed out that he had to help me out in the night sometimes when I really needed some sleep.

I'm sorry for going on for so long with a not very helpful rant but just really feel for you. If you are anywhere near Bromley in Kent you are welcome to bring Liam and have a sofa/cake/BF/moan session anytime! Always post though, we are here for you. Take good care x.

Mrs Mar - brilliant about Luca's weight gain well done you . I use the rugby ball hold with Millie too, it was the only way I could tandem feed the DTs last time and just find it easier - plus boobs unfeasibly huge and seems the best position for me to avoid somothering.

Laksa - hope Bella's thrush gets sorted soon and the feeding settles once it is sorted.

Nicki - have fun on Oxford Street - you are brave or crazy - not sure which!

Hope the rest of you are well, have a good one.

Just had a quick 'dip' into our thread.

KINKI UBER MASSIVE GIGANTIC HUGS TO YOU X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Hopey!!!

Great to see you over here chick, hope you are doing ok. Niamh is beautiful, love the pics. x x x

I 'think'/hope I'm turning a corner. Keeping everything crossed, even my eyes! x x

Hi everyone,

i posted on the other thread as it seemed more appropriate but i just wanted to check in here too. i do read all your messages regularly even if i don't post.

love and hugs to you all and your families too

LLL xx

Hopey! You've made my day! You really have! I was going to suggest to the others if we don't see you back here soon, we should stage a sit-in on your thread. .

Well girls, I'm in a better frame of mind today. Thanks for all your kind words of support and encouragement as always. Hammer, you're very kind, I am quite near you (relatively), I'm in Maidstone. Yesterday I was intending to talk at length to the gp yesterday about what dh has been saying, but there wasn't time after examining and quizzing me about my chest (I had to get away smartish). But I will try next week when I go back. The more I think, the more I suspect dh has either got his wires crossed or he is saying stuff for maximum impact on me.

Meanwhile other things have been going quite well in the last 24 hrs. Ds1's parent consultation went amazingly well. Then there was the window cleaners and the house cleaners, both of which charged me at lot less than quoted and expected. Apparently my house isn't as grimy as I thought it was!

Then last night, dh helped me with a lot of tidying and sorting out. I was really pleased and grateful that he wanted to help. We worked quite late into the night, but he set his alarm for 6.30 so he could get up and started on the washing! And there was no moaning! So I've got a house all clean and organised for this party tomorrow and a dh who is happy. Blimey, what a difference a day makes!

Laksa, I know I'm a fine one to talk, but please don't think you are useless. Useless would be not caring or paying attention to Bella. And you come across as the opposite. I think we are all fab and all doing a good job, its just so relentless and hard work. I hope her thrush resloves quickly.

Nicki, I'm at oxford st. Actually I'm completely in awe and admiration that any of us are up to that just now. Hope you get some good purchases, especially something for you. Poppy sounds a clever little girl with her feeding, well done her, and well done you.

Big hello to everyone else, hope you're all gearing up to a good weekend. Thanks again for all your support.

[Mrs Mar (and someone else, but sorry can't remember who), I hope you're not affected by the bbc job cuts. I thought of you when I heard about it. ]

hopey - have posted on the other thread. so so good to see you!

kinki - great news that your dh has been better today. have a great party tmrw.

i had my official 6 week check today - all clear to resume normal activities! hoorah! thought of you nicki as i braved town en route back and it was manic!

hugs to all - off to make tea and toast.

hi all

finally had a chance to catch up on posts, although might not last long as think Linus is about to start kicking up a fuss.
The Bf discussion is interesting, in the beginning i found it the most amazing experiecne but as time moves on it becomes a big tie. And i think Linus must find the sofa as boring as i do! And once they really start feeding long and properly then you do get chomped to pieces. That said Linus is putting on 9oz a week (he's 12.1 at 5 weeks old!) so i'm obviously doing something right. I've started expressing - after my experience at the hospital i realised i needed an alternative in case of emergencies, but am a bit cack-handed at it right now, but hopefully will get more experienced with practice.

Well Mum's funeral is next week and me and Linus went shopping today to buy him an outfit to say goodbye to his granny in - that's a shopping trip i hope not many people have to go on. Mourning clothes for newborns - that's a niche market.

I ahve a really good friend coming to the funeral with us who will look after him if he starts bawling or if i start falling apart, that way DP can look after me and i can know that Linus is with someone I trust.

Kinki - i hope you manage to enjoy the party tomorrow, and take some time out for yourself.

To everyone else, i hope you have lovely weekends.

S
x

Morning all! The one morning I can go back to bed (no school run) and I'm wide awake - typical!

Sorry I've not been around but this week is a bit of a blur! I've been reading posts and have been thinking of you all but haven't had a chance to catch up properly until now...

Well done to all of you who are persevering with the bf'ing, I really admire you! Part of me wishes I hadn't given up but having read your posts I'm kind of glad I did! Keep going, it'll all be worth it!

fettle - yay, congratulations!!! A big welcome to you ((hugs)), I did notice on the m/c thread that you had Toby in Sept and wondered if you'd join us, really pleased you have! How have the nights been going with Toby? Thank you for asking, yes the bag is temporary in that it should come off just after Christmas - she doesn't have a hole for her bottom so she's got to have a big operation mid-November (not looking forward to that!).

Dal - Yes, we use a dummy due to the fact that DD1 still sucks her thumb whereas DS gave his to father christmas when he was 2! I've noticed we as a family tend to get a bit over the top and try stuffing it in Cerys's mouth a bit too much so I've tried to cut it down and explained to everybody that she only needs it if she's upset - it doesn't have to be in there all the time! I find it helps when she is waiting for a bottle but apart from that she's OK without it... Oh and yes I'm sure babies can smell our milk - when I was bf'ing, she would spit the dummy out as soon as she got near me so she could latch on lol!

kinki - big hugs to you, have been thinking of you loads! You've had so much to cope with and you're doing amazingly! Hope the party goes well - make sure everybody rallies around! My DH suffers from depression/anxiety and he has had counselling - he came home once and told me I wasn't allowed to put him under any pressure because the therapist had told him that was what was making him ill!! . He pretty much said the same as your DH and accused me of being the problem and making him more ill. After much conversation, we worked out that it was just that they were identifying the pressures he was under in order to understand how to handle them - NOT to lay blame. I wonder if the illness itself makes them translate it differently!? Glad to hear he has been pulling his weight a bit more lately though - you've got my details if you ever need to chat xx

MrsFish - how have you got on with the colief and the Dr Browns bottles? I really empathise with you! It was me who didn't find the colief to be of any help but every baby is different and its worth a try. I'm interested to hear about the bottles though

MrsMar - DH is slowly coming round to the idea of a sling around the house, yay! Well done on the weight gain!

laksa - hope you got on well without DH? Sorry to hear about the thrush and hope it clears up soon. Hows the mixed feeding going? I really enjoyed doing both

Hammer - thanks, I'm always open to new ideas for her skin, especially as it seems to be getting quite red lately! We use something called 'cavilon' and its a bit like a lollipop and it can go on broken skin too. The stoma nurse (on Monday) gave us a new bag to try but it didn't work so we're back to the old one. We're still having a few emergency bag changes I'm afraid but I'm beginning to think that comes with the territory and its not surprising with Cerys being such a wriggle bum!

Nicki - Oxford Street eh!? Very of you, how was it?

sophus - have been thinking of you lots, glad you've got things covered for the funeral so you can grieve without worrying I'm amazed at how organised you are, I reckon I'd be falling apart! Very impressed with Linus's weigh gain!!

Welcome to sophie and evie! Big hugs to everybody else, especially love to see you too Hopey! xx

I reckon this is a mammoth post so I'll do a separate one with my update on it... (oh and I'll pop back later in the weekend to sort out stats if you like?)

PLP xxx