March 2017 (3)

[purpleviolet1]

Thread three!

Abacha missed the bit about going straight to sleep after a feed. I guess whilst we are establishing weaning it's difficult to gauge whether they are getting enough during the day. If they are then they could be waking up out of habit rather than hunger. What does your instinct say?

@HughLauriesStubble happy weekend to you too!

@name. Agree if you are up to it to be stricter with sleep training /allow longer to try self settle

Don't know how you and any one else copes with so many wake ups /little sleep

As with @purple dd has an hr am
And then sleeps longer afternoon

@hugh. How on earth does yours stay awake 3-8

Dd needs sleep by 3hrs latest. If she doesn't nap after waking 3ish / she is ready for bed 6/630
Latest

@abacha maybe try swapping sleep - or limit to 1.5hrs am and then will sleep for 1.5/2hrs pm as well

its possible they wake up so much at night as overtired as don't sleep much in afternoon

Good luck with house moving

Dd def needs more then 2.45 sleep a day and the days she sleeps 4hrs she sleeps 13hrs at night

But all babies are different but I do believe sleep breeds sleep

Yes agree blondes, it's just what I've read but by no means one rule covers all. Personally I find it to be the case for me though

What's everyone up to this weekend? Any exciting plans?

purple
Thanks so much for your kind words, I really appreciate the support from you and others on the thread

Abacha
Best of luck with the house move - exciting!

Hugh
Ah sorry to hear you also had a bad night and a poonami this morning! It's good that your mum could look after the DCs for a bit My mum is really keen to babysit but she's an hour away so it's a bit less practical. Think we need to try it though as DS will be starting nursery in 2 months, Just one day a week to begin with, but we need to practise leaving him with other people!

Blondes
I don't know how we cope either! This is me most days: 💀 LOL.
It's not a case of not wanting to be strict as such, it's more than during the night we are half asleep and not very good at working out what to do. We are so tired that we are fighting our own wish to take the path of least resistance to get more sleep! But we know that it's short term pain for long term gain so we are determined to stick with it. We always agree a plan before going to bed but I am wondering if I need to be really anal organised and write it out in detail so we can just refer to the plan when we can't remember what the hell we are supposed to be doing! Oh and I think DS is teething again as well which makes everything harder. How is your DD btw, still teething? And how much longer are you on holiday for?

purple
No plans for tomorrow, we might brave town (depending how tonight goes!!) On Sunday we're seeing my mum and sister which I'm really looking forward to as it's been a while plus they give DS loads of attention which I make the most of by lazing around

I meant to ask, what about you, any plans?

We are back. Home late wed

Dd still teething madly. Drooling. Gnawing - red cheeks. Hard gums .

But no teeth 🙄

Not anal to write plan down. easier to follow if have written down in black and white

What do you do at the moment

DD is doing well with her routine but she will only have her long afternoon nap if we are home and she's in her cot or in her stroller. We were at my DB and SILs today and I tried to be home by 1 but DD fell asleep on the car so only slept for 1 45 cycle, woke just as we parked up, thought I'd try and get her to go back to sleep but DP got her all excited and then she was wide awake! had a cranky little lady from about 5. She went to bed at 6:40

Teething today but no complaining she didn't have a lot of formula or meals today so am expecting a few feeds tonight

Blondes
Sounds like your DD might cut a tooth soon, hope she does and the pain eases a bit! DS was definitely better after the teeth appeared, although it's got bad again so we think he might be about to get another one or two.
This is what we're doing at the moment:

• Bedtime, I rock him and sing a lullaby, put him down sleepy but awake, and lie next to him until he falls asleep. I was putting my hand on his chest at first but stopped that now. I guess I'm doing gradual retreat, planning to move further away and eventually leave the room before he falls asleep.

Night wakings: Up to midnight, DH is "on duty", and DS has mostly been waking up once or sometimes twice. I've asked DH to pick up DS if he's crying, but once calm to put him down sleepy but awake, and put a hand on his chest if needed to settle/soothe him. The main aim is for DH to settle DS without me feeding him. After midnight I'm on duty... DS can wake up as little as 30-60 minutes after DH has got him back to sleep, and I think it's for milk (either out of hunger or habit) so I have been feeding him but gradually cutting down the length of time, currently on 4 minutes. When it's down to 2 minutes or so I will stop feeding and settle him as above. For the next waking I am feeding DS for as long as he wants, this is because I am happy to keep one night feeding, although I realise it might be confusing for DS to have milk at one waking and not the others, I'm hoping he will adjust. Where it goes a bit wrong is the wakings after that, because when it gets to about 4-6am it's really hard to get DS back to sleep without feeding or rocking, and we are so tired and desperate to get what sleep we can until 7am, that we usually do one or the other. That's probably not helping Writing it all down I realise it's all a bit complicated and inconsistent which might be where we're going wrong! I don't know! I am basing it on the advice from the Baby Sleep Science website which says that babies sleep more deeply until about 3am and it's easier to cut out night feeds at the beginning of the night first, and gets progressively harder to settle as the night goes on, which seems to match our experience.

Sorry for long rambly answer

I should point out we are still cosleeping, DS is in the Snuzpod on my side of the bed. Can't face getting up and going in and out of his room multiple times through the night.

Thanks for the support, I have no idea how I'm going to pack up and move with twins, I do have family around so will be making most use of them.

I find that the twins can have the long nap at home in the morning but only sleep in the afternoon if I go out for a walk. Im going to try better from next week to go for a walk in the afternoon, its not always easy because I need to find time to express, I think I have managed to get it down to 4 pumps a day. If i can maintain it without too much pain then I think life will get easier.

Dh and I will be seeing the mortgage broker tomorrow so we are dropping the twins for my sister to watch, first time they've been left with anyone so will see how that goes, they are used to be carried by a lot of different people and they don't really fuss much, its so nice now they've discovered each other. They just giggle away.

Babies are in bed will try and offer them pacifier when they wake to see if its actually hunger

I'm pleased to report that ds took solids yesterday tea time and had breakfast lunch and dinner today must be getting appetite back although he is still sounding blocked up. Total of 23oz taken today (increase from last few days but not back to his new 28oz). One night feed isn't so bad now, they are super quick but I'm terrible for tossing and turning to fall asleep again.

DH out with his mates tonight and I'm just doing some tidying and then I'm going to relax

No plans for weekend, just house stuff as we are still settling in. Need to go dining table shopping oh the joys really pleased with where the house is at so far though it's nicely falling into place bit by bit

Has anyone had any 'keep in touch' days with work? I work in finance and haven't had much contact with my 'new' manager as my manager moved teams just when I left. My new manager is actually my old manager so not new in any form really. They are pretty easy going but I do like to do these things by the book so they can't come back to bite you

purple
Ah great to hear that your DS is eating again!
I've just confirmed the date for my return to work, it's mid-November and I'm going in for a meeting about 10 days beforehand, which will be a KIT day. I've organised it to coincide with a "settling in" session at nursery so DS will be sorted. Haven't done any other KIT days but might do one or two between now and November if there is any relevant training and if I can get childcare.
When are you planning to go back to work?

Aww abacha twins are so adorable - hat off to you for managing and also keeping up with the bf. I was so exhausted by it that I gave up early on. You are doing incredibly well!

purple I also work in finance. Just had an email from our HR lady as I haven't been in contact with work much other than a couple if visits with DD in the early weeks. I arranged to finish my mat leave on the 19th of Nov then the rest of the year is my holidays so am going back in the new year. They don't know it yet but am hoping to reduce down to 4 days and reduce the days I'm in by an hour and a half each day not sure how that will go down with my manager but in the email it does ask if any thing has changed from the discussions we had before DD was born

My DM will be having DD for a day a week as she still works 4 days a week as well. Then if I'm off an extra day then will only need childcare for 3 days. I've had offers from other family members who have days off in the week as well but I don't want be shopping her here there and everywhere. I also think it would be could for her to be able to be around other children as she is technically an only child during the week.

Not sure whether to use a local child minder or a day care.

Just watching DD on the monitor she's very fidgety tonight, currently is laying on her front with bum in then air

Not a very good pic but you get the idea....

Hugh
He wakes a lot and it's hard to tell whether it's from hunger, but yes I am aiming to cut down the night feeds to just the one. I'm doing it gradually as I don't want to make him go cold turkey and feel uncomfortably hungry all night. To be honest if he's really hungry he won't settle anyway, he'll just cry harder and harder until he gets milk! I'm not completely sure when to do the one remaining night feed, but based on the advice I've read I was aiming for 2-4am (rather than a dream feed at or before midnight) to hopefully keep him as full and asleep as possible until 7am. I think it's too soon to say whether it's working, need to persevere for a few more nights, as we've had a few that didn't go according to plan!

Should I move her? She's laying across the cot so if her stretches her legs out she will head butt the bars. She can roll herself no problem

Ah missed your post @NameChange30 - I plan to go back at the end of April. Things will be tight especially from December but hopefully we will be ok..

Ah @Carolann8584 finance as well I'm in operations and although my manager was supportive in discussions we had when I left, albeit vague, I'm not sure how they will take to me doing 3 or 4 days on my return. Hoping that perhaps dh can go down to 4 days so we both do 4 day weeks so ds will need childcare for 3 dahs only. If he can't then I will ask to go down to 3 days. My mum is going to help with childcare but not sure she will be able to do three full days so perhaps a combination of nursery and dm.

Love the pic! DS sleeps with bum in air too. Bless her I hope she settles soon

Although no bum in air just now..

@hugh im a df lover - once they can sleep 11/7 then I move df to 10 and then reduce if still sleeping

Least isnt cranky. No way I could keep dd up till 8. Sometimes df doesn't see her as he's in 630/645 and bed is 7 - but she's so tired and cranky that I put her to bed 630.

@name. All sounds good what you are writing. The gradual retreat is working well and a great improvement from rocking to sleep. Well done

Tho

As above to Hugh - I like df

any reason you don't give a proper feed when wakes up after the dh swap at midnight - rather then 4mins / maybe would sleep better then. May be truely hungry

Or even let dh feed df at 11/12. I R.E.M.
You said you were bf

Sorry can't R.E.M. If you said you expressed /use formula / bottle - is it possible dh can feed and fill up

Is it possible you are waking ds up as he is so close to you and if in own room he would settle better /quicker

@abacha you are amazing to be feeding twins

Plans - tom at macmilliian coffee am - then watching df oldest son (28) play football

Sunday prob a roast - which dd will have purée

Dd had spag Bol and veg for first time today. Loved it !!! Purée well and frozen in meals

I would move @carol so right way in cot or may wake up when stretches

Dd is always still in bed tho does have sheet tucked over her and gro hag

@Blondeshavemorefun have you ever experienced introducing a dream feed to stop baby waking up between 2-5am but then baby still continues to wake up and basically gets used to taking in more night time calories? I ask because when we tried dream feed, he still woke up and I quickly gave up as I couldn't bear both