July 2017#7 - The One Where We Have Sleepless Nights and Master the Art of Eating Food One-Handed

[Notyetthere]

Link to the last thread;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2962422-july-2017-6-labour-here-we-come

Oh good @glitterglitters ! I also have DH bringing me snacks. I am currently tucking into a tasty peach while I wait for my mental health nurse :) much needed day in bed. All the drama has caught up with me and I'm feeling very fatigued.

Oooh yes, definitely a snugly duvet day in order I think @Algebraic. It's really good to see you on here xxx

I found my nips have stopped hurting too - baby is 18 days old today and they haven't hurt for at least a week now. At one point they were blistered and bleeding and I was gritting my teeth when she latched. It seems like all of a sudden they stopped hurting.

@Algebraic I find it a lot easier to feed her from my right boob than left so you're not alone. Sometimes it's very tempting just to feed her from that boob but I make sure I swap each feed but I still use the right boob more.

Before she came along I would have said my boobs were fairly similar - a matching pair - but breastfeeding has shown me that one boob seems rounder and fuller and my nipples are slightly differently shaped too. I find it helps if I squash the difficult boob into more of a mouth-shaped mouthful it's easier to get her to latch.

Baby Z is 3 weeks old now and my nips are still hurting, bloody and blistered, although they are starting to heal as pumping has given some much needed respite. I think my son is a savage because his latch is unbelievably aggressive... He was fussing last night after a feed, looking for anything to latch onto, and he suddenly clamped himself to my arm. I had a big red patch when I managed to prize him off and now it looks like a hickey!!!!! 🙈😅 I'm a bit worried about when his teeth start coming through... seems like he's going to be a biter 😩

I give him boob directly once or twice a day (he also much prefers the left and usually rejects the right) but it's still such an ordeal for me that I feel so much better just giving him a bottle.

I think for next few hours I will rest if then try again. Baby Luna is only just back on the breast. At the beginning her mouth was too small and since I had the psychosis I've been on meds that meant I couldn't breastfeed. Perinatal have now found meds that are safe for that so I'm gradually easing back in. My iron is still very low so I tire quite easily. Trying to find that balance between the demands on my body and mental health and giving baby what she needs.

I have really missed you all! As I'm in bed today I think I will go back through the previous thread and catch up on all your stories. Xx

@Sewingbeatshousework congrats on your squish and that must have been scary initially, so glad all was ok.

@glitterglitters I had the same re: the dummy, I said no! Only as last resort. Baby Luna got a dummy the day we got home. It was just too much to hear her cry. She also doesn't use it at night though.

@CatRash oh wow. I'm glad to hear I wasn't the only one. I could hear a baby crying when there wasn't one and it all felt very disturbing.

@Lallypopstick congrats on your little one!

For those experiencing poonamis I highly recommend Aldi nappies. The mesh around the leg is so good. The one poonami we had was with a pampers nappy.

DH and I seem to have created a goblin who makes the oddest sounds. Like a gremlin after water.

@mynameisntLinda I also used to thumb suck and rub a silk square on my nose! When I was feeling incredibly low I did resort to a thumb duck. Bit embarrassing! Baby has just started to find hers. I will gently try to discourage.

@Twixes sorry to hear about your LO's difficult birth. The love is just dawning for me also and I think the hard birth has contributed massively. They have suggested a debrief to me with the hospital as sometimes it can give you an element of PTSD. Perhaps something like that might make you feel better too. When I think back to the birth I still feel very emotional about it.

How are you getting on @ButterflyFree Without your DH?

I am incredibly thankful to my husband as he has given up work to care for me. We have a small amount of savings so will be ok for a few months whilst I recover and can be left on my own throughout the day. At the moment we share duties in the day and I (at the order of my MH team) sleep through the night with the aid of medication to prevent a reoccurrence of the psychosis.

Just out of interest is anyone else on the Fragmin injections? I've almost done three weeks and have another three weeks to go as was put on a six week course - no idea why but clearly I'm high risk for some reason - probably pre-eclampsia related.

Anyway I've had no issues with them, I do them in my stomach and swap sides each day but this last week they've suddenly started hurting every time - like really stinging!! Anyone else found this?? Anyone tried them in their thigh - not sure I dare!!?

@CatRash mine stung every time and had some epic bruises! I've done all mine in my thighs as the one I tried in my stomach I chickened out of as I couldn't pierce the skin 😷 and I didn't want to press harder.

I only had a 10 day course though so thankfully all done now!

Hope the stinging eases for you!

@CatRash ooh afraid I've never heard of Fragmin. It made Fraggle Rock pop into my head it's funny how you end up taking stuff without question. In hospital they would come round with my little pot of various medications and I would just nosh them down!
I think we get too exhausted to care...

Algebraic its great to have you back! Glad things are looking up.

Baby Fran is 6wks +1 today. We had the 6wk appointment and I'm glad to say the baby weighed 4.4kg. Last weighed 2wks ago where she was at 3.95kg. Even after all of the projectile sick, she gets enough through to gain weight.

Hello everyone, am on Day 17 with PFB here. Algebraic we have also made a gremlin! Baby Hatstand makes the funniest grunting noises and then practically headbutts onto the boob. She looks a bit like a dog trying to catch a frisbee in its mouth.

@Algebraic thinking about it now I also just took the pills I was handed in hospital and didn't really give a thought to what they were! Glad to hear you've got greet support at home though!

@Notyetthere that's great about the weight gain!

I'm happy to report my rash is finally easing - still no idea what caused it but glad the itching is dying down and I'm starting to look less like a dog with fleas!

I can honestly say these past 17 days have been the hardest trial of my life thus far but the baby makes it all worthwhile.

Yay for the weight gain @Notyetthere !

That's hilarious @Hatstand Baby L looks like a little chimp and makes a cats bum hole mouth when she pushes out a poo. Plus all the noises! DH looks after her in the lounge at night and poor thing gets no sleep with all her grunting and snuffling.

@nat2311 I think it's a trust thing which I suppose is a good thing! Though they could have given me anything and I wouldn't have known

Oh @Algebraic I'm so happy to read your posts today; you absolutely did the right thing in seeking help early on and it's great to see that you are starting to feel better, and that you have wonderful support from your DH, healthcare professionals and family ❤️ you're doing fantastically. Hope you enjoyed your well deserved duvet day.

I'm really struggling without my DH to be honest; thanks for asking. I miss him so much and feel unsettled without him around because we haven't really had a chance to be a family of 3 yet. I've also been having some major issues with my mother unfortunately (all came to a huge head today - the worst argument we've ever had in my entire life, which ended with her storming out in tears and leaving me home alone sobbing with the baby in my arms for a good few hours) so I don't feel I've had the best support around me while he's away. Thankfully time is ticking quite quickly though and I'm just counting down the days until we go home. DH's training camp finishes on 14th and he will come straight to London from Vienna (his teammates will fly back to Dubai from there but he's coming to collect us) early afternoon, and our flight from London to Dubai will be that same night.

Starting to get a bit of anxiety about packing - I've managed to accumulate sooooo much stuff for Baby Z which I want to take back with us, including the Mamaroo which is rather huge and heavy! Thank goodness we'll have 100kg hold baggage allowance between the two of us. Also nervous at the thought of flying 7hrs with a 4 week old but I'm hopeful he will be calm and sleep most of the way... he's usually impeccably behaved when out and about. It's just at home that he decides to be a little monster!

Algebraic I'm really glad to hear that you are getting well again, and that your DH can support you.

Butterfly it must be so hard! Was the argument with your mum about anything of substance, or a symptom of the stress you are under?

I went to my local NCT baby cafe yesterday (the one that stopped for the summer last year!) and got some really useful advice. I am now doing breast compressions when DS starts to drift off to sleep, switching sides less frequently, and I've ordered new tubing and bottles/teats etc for my breast pump (I'll start pumping a bit and topping him up when that arrives next week).

As a side note: slightly surprised at how much my pump cost! It's a Medela Freestyle, which we bought in a hurry when DD wasn't gaining weight. Apart from consumables (nappies etc), my purchasing this time has been: sling (£20, but I sold DDs equivalent sling for £55 a while ago), bundle of boys clothes (£30), Tripp Trapp (£55) (all of these from friends), and an impulse buy of a few clothes at Lidl (£not a lot). Plus stuff to keep DD entertained (probably £quite a lot, actually). I can't imagine thinking spending £several hundred on a breast pump was a good idea, but apparently I did! That was for PFB, back when we were a dual-income household :)

@Nat2311 I've had some issues piercing the skin and it makes me squirm too. Out of interest whereabouts in your thigh did you do it? Glad your rash is subsiding!

@Algebraic Yup I know exactly what you mean!! I literally questioned nothing they gave me - the Fragmin is for blood clots apparently! They used to come round the ward with the drug trolley and ask if you wanted anything - always reminded me of the drinks trolley on an aeroplane!

@ButterflyFree sorry to hear you're having issues with your mum. Hope you can patch things up and she can be a bit more supportive for the next week and a bit! Just keep counting down the days!!!!

Spin I am slightly embarrassed to say I think we spent a lot on this one. Definitely PFB syndrome. we spent over £2k but that includes £1k for a travel system which PIL paid for. We would never have paid that much for one but PIL insisted we should get the one we really wanted. Also cot bed cost £380 but hopefully that should get us to when baby Fran is 5 or 6yrs old. It's massive. We plan to eventually use it as a seat downstairs when the babies outgrow it.

Chest of drawers Ikea- £110

Snuzpod and bjorn bouncer are 2nd hand from eBay. £140 altogether.

We are using the medela swing which was given to me by a friend. Same as the stretchy wrap, same friend lent it to me.

Baby Fran has outgrown her newborn size clothes. They fit sideways but are not long enough. She cant stretch her legs in them and her toes are permanently curled in them; we assumed that cant be very comfortably fir her. We have now bought a few 0-3months using gift cards given as presents and I also bought a massive bundle of 23 items for less than £20 on ebay. They are too wide for her but just long enough for her tall legs.

DD (just turned 5) is still in the cot bed that was handed down to us, so I reckon you're right about that. We need to get her a high sleeper before DS can go in the cotbed, but otherwise she'd be good for at lest another year.

Oh no @ButterflyFree ! What was it about? (If you don't mind me asking?) just tiredness or a longstanding issue..?

@Spindelina Wow you have been so measured. I have spent edging on £500 in these past two weeks. Potentially more. I think some of it was during the mania and I just thought I needed all these things. I managed to go to Mothercare today and not buy any clothes! Only some much needed infacol as poor baby Luna is really struggling with her wind.

@CatRash 😂 you are so right LOL "anything from the trolley?"

Don't feel bad @Notyetthere I think we've spent around £4K but we are usually incredibly frugal - don't go out for meals unless there's an offer, shop at Aldi, etc. Hence how we had managed to squirrel away some money (thank god). We actually enjoyed splashing the cash for once! The snuzpod is my favourite purchase

Thanks @Spindelina @CatRash - it was a pretty heavy argument covering a number of serious topics (from financial issues, to me apparently 'not being the daughter she once knew'. and having a 'terrible attitude' towards her in the past 2 months...) but I decided to be the bigger person and apologise for my hormones and for making her feel unloved in order to placate the situation and make things more bearable for these last 9 days.

My in-laws were in touch with me late last night to tell me that my SIL (who was due 5th July but delivered 25th June) had been rushed into hospital, and early this morning had surgery to resolve a 'postnatal complication' - I'm guessing it was retained placenta? Apparently she hasn't been able to walk properly or even hold her baby due to the pain levels. She was staying with her mother for the first 40 days after delivery - as is the custom - but returned to my in-laws' family house yesterday. My MIL immediately knew something was very wrong and insisted on taking her to hospital. I can't believe she didn't go to get it checked before! Can you imagine not being able to walk properly or even hold your baby for 6 weeks postpartum?! Fingers crossed this morning's surgery will have resolved the issue.

In some brighter news, Baby Z slept fantastically last night, and not on me!! He went straight into the SleepyHead no problem, and slept for a full 3 hours between each feed. All because I put him in a GroSnug; he's been able to escape from a swaddle ever since day one, but zipping him up in this appeared to do the trick. He's usually quite wild with his limbs but having his arms wrapped up seemed to make the world of difference to his ability to stay asleep alone on his back. Hopefully this miracle product will be the saviour of our nights.

Sorry @Algebraic x-post; the initial part responds to your question too ☺️ That's good you made it out to Mothercare (and resisted the temptation to buy more cute clothes!)

I dread to think how much we've spent. If you include the private hospital bill and the flights... definitely upwards of £20k 😥 Will try to claim as much back from the health insurance as possible but unfortunately the policy the club switched us to at the last minute will not go anywhere near covering the whole bill. The epidural I screamed for during my intense 2hr labour cost us an extra £1000 in anaesthetist fees on top of the rest of the hospital bill.

Luckily the Mima Xari travel system was gifted to us so that saved £1k or more, but things like the Mamaroo, SleepyHead and Medela electric pump haven't come cheap. They have been very much worth it though.

Just for the record: I wasn't this frugal with PFB! There are some things you need - buggy/car seat/ cot/etc - which we've still got from first time around. And I think once you start buying those big-ticket things, you end up thinking the odd £100 here and there isn't really that much. Whereas this time, it would be a lot.

(Though I have to confess that I missed off the £15 on changing mats and c.£50 on maternity clothes from my list.)

lol I feel guilty about poor baby glitters. I've spent £75 on a sling (mil paid) and £20 on some baby grows (so she could have some of her own), £30 on two manual breast pumps (I cannot get a drop with the tommee tippee one!) and £8 on dummies.

Even toddler Glitter we didn't spend tonnes but that was because mil went mental and bought EVERYTHING or got everything without being asked. I'd be grateful but it meant we didn't get to choose anything 😭

Oooh I've been so anal about what stuff I want. Family clearly knew this as they asked specifically what I wanted and then purchased it as a gift 😂 MIL wanted to buy the pram/travel system so I said sure! That was £450 off a discount website, retail new around £750. But you're right, PFB and all that. If I have another child (not sure at this point) then they will just have all the hand me downs!

Glitters any subsequent babies we have here will have to make do with hand me downs from PFB.