May 2017 #16 Sleep deprivation, mumnesia and first smiles

[crazyzooo]

New thread to celebrate the small things (like first smiles and eating steak with one hand), commiserate over the less fabulous stuff (poonamies, vomit eruptions and wind spring to mind) and someone to talk to at 4am

Good luck Barnes!

Newbie, not really. Exposure to the minority language will be very small in our case so I speak it to the kids as well, even though it's not my mother tongue. English will come anyway in the UK, given general exposure and talking when others are present. We also chose an au pair specifically to speak a third language to him (one I don't speak at all)
It worked well with Ds, hope it works with this one too.

@barnes79, had 24hrs of being fairly off colour after 8 week jabs but not constant crying after 12. I would trust your instincts and see GP.

@newbieho I am talking to the baby in my language but singing nursery rhymes in both languages. Speak English around other people though. Have yet to convince my OH to talk to him like a person ...!

@Rockyroad17 I'm going to tell DH that tonight and see what reaction I get 😁😁 I just put away some 3 - 6 months stuff that is too small 🤔 Baby clothes sizing is officially worse than women's!

@Barnes79 good luck!

I have a little baby too :)
Baby Badger had check up yesterday and is nearly 8 pounds at 7+3 bless her. Hardly fits any of her clothes and still in newborn but very alert, growing and feeding well so I'm not worried.

blueberry so cute! What is it??

barnes I hope LO is ok..

I speak 2 languages to baby Badger but mainly English (mother tongue ).

@Badgerbird it's a baby donkey, three days old. The cutest thing ever. It was still wobbly on its feet

@Barnes79 hope all is ok x

On the language front, from what I understand, one parent has to speak only to the child in the second language for the child to become fluent. That's probably what you mean by OPOL. Mum is a primary head and has seen a lot of this.

Regarding OPOL we're only speaking to Finley in English but I was raised biligual as my dad is French. He only spoke to me in French (and still does) and I only speak to him in French. It never caused any confusion or problems and I've been fluent since I can remember. I'd like to teach Finley some French when he is a little older too.

Mr SHK did remind me the other day that when our son was smaller (around 2) he did speak a peculiar mash sometimes (which we could all understand luckily).

One particular example - he would bang on the window to make the pigeons fly off the birdfeeder (they were eating all the food we put out for the smaller birds, and he was copying us). He was, in his words, 'kap die oiseau en fly' which was a peculiar mix of all three, but we knew what he meant

The au pair did speak to him solely in French. Oddly he almost flat refuses to speak French to anyone except her, despite being fluent (it was almost certainly his mother tongue for a while when he was a bit younger).

He seems to categorise people into a 'language' when he first meets them and then will only speak to them in that language. He knows the au pairs can speak English as well, and that Mr SHK can speak all three, and myself two, but beyond that if you stray outside your predefined 'box' he objects!

After 4 hrs we were discharged with some omeprazole and instructions to top up with formula after each feed. He seemed a bit more like himself whilst at the hospital 😄

Thanks everyone for your responses on the language front. Interesting examples!

I am going to continue speaking to baby in mother tongue only apart from reading books and nursery rhymes (those are read and sang in two languages). English will be his primary language through the nursery and school. I am also using English in other people presence as it would be rude towards them if they could not understand a word.

Good news @Barnes79 glad to hear you're back at home and the little one is getting better. That must be a relief!

@newbieho OPOL here ! Flemish from me, loads of it. English from OH a little less but baby rustler will be fine as he'll go to childminder then school here in uk x

@rise uh oh. I thought I was being clever putting all the 3-6 month stuff away for now but it sounds like rocky might have even grown out of some of that already! frantically searches through 3-6 month bags

@Rockyroad17 that was my sudden thought last week, I washed all the new stuff and had her in her cot stretching clothes all her length, there are at least three outfits she's only going to wear once for photo purposes 😣

@Barnes79 that's good news!

Today's revelation, I ordered more dummies to have some spares and actually read the packing this time - apparently they're supposed to be replaced every month.... that seems excessive?

Afternoon ladies

Just bought the school uniform from specialist shop for dd and have spent £130 but already know that there are still other things to get! Was going to wait until closer to the time but the school advised that the shop tends to run out of stuff during the summer holidays!

@newbieho - one of our close friends are following the OPOL with their daughter. The mum speaks to her in French and the dad speaks to her in English and the daughter is fluent in both. Occasionally her mum will throw a curve ball and speak to her in English but this doesn't seem to phase her at all and she seems happy negotiating both languages.

Rant/worry time...this is a real first world problem but it is bothering me and I would love any advice.

I'm coming to the conclusion I just don't like being on maternity leave. Looking after Pippin is already easier than it was, I'm getting to understand him better, he sleeps less than average (grr) but isn't colicky. He is wanted and healthy. But spending all day with him just doesn't do it for me. I still have weepy days but I don't think it's PND as I have my Cbt group and I don't think I'm in 'unhelpful thinking patterns'. I just find the days so unfulfilling and I feel hemmed in, my role in the world stops at the front door. I clock-watch for DH to arrive and take him off me.

Anyone had this experience? What helped? I know how lucky I am and I know this is a temporary problem. I feel bad for admitting it even! But I would love to hear thoughts from others.

We have found a lovely babysitter and maybe the answer is more of her time so I'm not doing this full time, but Pippin is ebf, and after all I'm being paid to be home with him and it's only a few short months...

I'm already cringing that I pressed post on that. I feel embarrassed to have such a 'good' problem.

@CoxsOrangePippin I'm struggling too. So much so that I'm helping my OH to write a new business plan and develop the business further. My brain feels like it's rotting away.

@1004Rise you've reminded me I must get baby to try on some 3-6m clothes as the sizing is so variable. Missed out on her wearing some 0-3 stuff as it was smaller than I thought. Need more 0-3 stuff but she's nearly grown out of it so don't want to buy stuff for a couple of weeks only.

With the dummies I can only guess it's because of plastic degradation? With heat from sterilisation it probably happens more quickly. I've been using ours for about 5/6 weeks before throwing. Bought some glow in the dark ones today as I'm always losing them in her sleepyhead at night!

@CoxsOrangePippin I've not had this myself but you shouldn't feel embarrassed by this, it's a complete change of lifestyle and very full on. I think there is a lot of pressure to enjoy this early stage but the reality of new babies is that it is very draining and mentally draining in a completely different way to being at work all week.

Cox I feel the same, and I reckon it's a pretty rational reaction to suddenly going from the world of work to looking after a baby 24/7. Babies are lovely but caring for them is pretty boring, menial and repetitive. I love my kids more than anything and think they are amazing, but there is no way I could do this all the time. I need the balance of work. My advice is to get out and talk to adults but not about the baby, take advantage of them being portable and visit museums etc, and if you feel the walls closing in then ask DH/your babysitter for more help.

@CoxsOrangePippin I understand some of your feelings, especially the 'hemmed in' one. It's a bit claustrophobic and I can get jealous of people who get to go places and do stuff! I had a hospital appointment yesterday and my children were with my parents, it was only a couple of hours but it felt like freedom! I had a nice coffee whilst I was waiting and read a book, so sad that it was the highlight of my week!

@CoxsOrangePippin you're definitely not the only one. I love my baby so much but I find the days so long and repetitive. I'm clock watching for dh to get home too. I think it's mainly because he's so small that I can't do an awful lot with him. He's either asleep or awake and unhappy! I'm hoping it will be better when he gets older and I can play with him more. I find it quite daunting going out with him as I'm always worried he'll have a public meltdown and I won't know what to do so it stops me going out somewhat

@CoxsOrangePippin please don't feel ashamed !
Right up until baby Rustler was born I thought I was gonna get bored and want to return to work asap as I love my job (at least one of them!)
I miss being a physio but I currently love being a mummy, although I totally understand your point of view!