May 2017 #16 Sleep deprivation, mumnesia and first smiles

[crazyzooo]

New thread to celebrate the small things (like first smiles and eating steak with one hand), commiserate over the less fabulous stuff (poonamies, vomit eruptions and wind spring to mind) and someone to talk to at 4am

@Paige84 you poor thing. I think a few stern words in his ear might be needed and whilst you shouldn't have to, tell him when you need support

@Paige84 he's behaving like a twat. Is he usually like this? You sound like you're doing brilliantly. Maybe you need to spell it out to him very simply 'we need to do x, y and z today so that means you can't go shopping/nap/invite people over' as for the nights, tell him you're having a night off. You just be exhausted! Hope you get looked after a bit better on holiday.

We're also off tomorrow morning, not at 7am thankfully. Not sure how good the internet will be so may or may not be around this week.

Have a great time teA

Paige ,that is not on, what do you think is behind his behaviour? It sounds like he's actively avoiding spending time with the baby. Does he feel confident about looking after him?

@Paige84 I sympathise, my DH had selfish tendencies before baby was born (thinking washing the dishes once a week is enough)
Never using the washing machine etc.
I ended up laying it on the line and told him that he needed to pull his finger out when baby arrived. Thankfully he has.
Are you ebf?
Hope you have a great holiday, you too @teainbed

Baby vanilla slept from 12:30-05:30! Although he was stirring inbetween with lots of grunting and chat so I've not actually slept through

Thanks everyone. teainbed you made me laugh with the very accurate "he's behaving like a twat"! You're right. But he told me last week he resents the baby and misses free time. I pointed out that the only difference to his life is there's a baby living in the house, his actual life hasn't changed one bit. I understand it must be harder for men to form a bond sometimes, especially as I have been ebf, I've started to express now too so he can give one bottle feed a day. I'm hoping spending a week with the baby will help him see how amazing this little guy is...... but I'm also concerned it'll make him think this isn't what he wants at all. Half of me wants to grab him by the ears and shake him for being such an idiot but I'm trying to be patient in the hope he'll relax and begin to enjoy spending time with his mini duplicate! Time will tell I guess. I know I could do this alone, I have been! But I really don't want it to come to that.

tea have a lovely holiday

vanilla8 well done to baby vanilla for awesome sleep last night (even if you didn't!)

Tea have a fabulous and well deserved holiday.

Paige I'm in a rush as DP has just taken baby on a road trip to work so I can sleep but... sounds like you and your oh need a good talk. Remember that this is a holiday for you as well as him so ask him to do specific things to help you and be very blunt if he looks shocked that his holiday involves some work now you have lo. That combined with your patience- good luck

@teainbed thank you for asking - unfortunately "gym gate" appears to have been the symptom of a DP who has transitioned from a fairly modern man with similar outloo to me, to an antiquated selfish titt with traditional gender steriotypes. On the bright side; no we won't have another child and it will be a cold day in hell before I go part time in my professional job after maternity leave. Oh and I have the most delicious baby. Every cloud!

Sorry @paige84 I am not quite sure what to say but if it helps I feel you. I could also do it on my own but I would rather not.. Suspect he will come into his own once we reach toddler stage, maybe your DP will be the same. For now I am going to ask him to facilitate me looking after the baby... ie do most/all non-baby tasks including cooking and tidying

After sleeping the sleep of the dead whilst the baby was otherwise entertained, I just finished listening to epic 3 hour program on radio iPlayer 'knowing Steve knowing you' about Steve coogans career. If you're a fan it's well worth a listen and brill for feeding as it's so long!

Rasperry, slipper etc re scar/ wound I think I was very naive and thought because scar healed v well it would be all over by about 6 weeks. At 6 week check yesterday dr disabused me of this notion and said scar is one thing, underneath is another and will take 12 weeks + to knit back together so continue to be careful.

Crazy you are very eloquent in your displeasure. I would agree in the short term just give very specific tasks and work on a return to normality. If he's said that - sorry I can't remember the phrase you used - he feels left out with baby arriving I would suspect there is a lot of workable on stuff going on for him

@paige84 - I know what you're going through, as I had to have a chat with dh about his 'expectations' of what I should be doing at home whilst on maternity leave. He admitted he was jealous of all the 'free' time I had! Am glad we did talk it through and I do think you definitely need to speak to him about his behaviour asap.

Good luck xx

Ah rubbish Paige & crazy!

Hope your men come to their senses!
(And hope you have a good holiday Paige / tea!)

Did anyone ever hear back from @nursebickypegs? It wouldn't let me tag her properly so that's presumably because she hasn't been on this thread? Hope she's ok. x

Sorry to read some of your troubles. Sending hugs. x

I swear my DS is the mardiest baby I have ever met. He throws out a couple of smiles a day but jeez he's always whinging. Or crying. Or both. It's really grating on me. And it's not the slightest bit endearing which I imagine is the opposite of what he's trying to achieve! And he's a lazy feeder.
I'm on day 5 of the DH being away on holiday with his friends.... I'm not crazy yet but I can hear the rain tipping it down outside so that's us not going out tomorrow...

@Paige84 sending some love your way! My other half is another one in the 'selfish before baby' club and struggled to adjust. Don't get me wrong he absolutely adores baby and hates going to work and not getting to spend more timer with him, but would still come home and do random diy jobs rather than offering me any help (we've just moved). We've had lots of chats about how I don't have 'free time' in the day, and how he needs to pull his fingers or and we are slowly getting there. Repetition is key in our case

@WishIWasSleeping I feel the same when I see it's raining and we're not having a good time! But the other day just put him in his pram, put the rain cover on, a huge coat for me and went out anyway. He really liked he sound of the rain on the cover so it kept him happy for a bit, and a change of scenery and some fresh air gave me a mini boost when I needed one!

Thanks @Tickyboovicki - might try him in the garden whilst DD is having her nap tomorrow lunchtime. The double buggy is in the car so by the time I've fetched it I'll be soaked and these two will probably both be crying before I got back go the house!
Although I can maybe see sunlight outside now!

Ha thanks (I think) @dreamsofhungarianlantherns, there are a few more Fs and Bs when I say it in my head

I actually slept for long enough to have a dream last night...and feel amazing!!! At almost 10 weeks old baby crazy seems to be able to roll over, latch and eat with minimal assistance from me. Yey!! He must have eaten enough to cause the most epic of poonamies this morning. Having taken the nappy off fractionally too early, the poo shot from the dressing table and at least half a meter across the bathroom floor. Have slept enough to find this very funny

Oh and grins become flowers on the app...

Oh and grins become flowers on the app...

Ooh I had a dream too last night! High five crazy!

crazy the projectile poo happens daily here!

Afternoon ladies

Hope you are all well and are enjoying the lovely weather.

Despite the sun being out and having a lovely afternoon with dh, dd and baby nate I'm still feeling a bit down. Was supposed to take dd to a summer fair organised by her new school but it's situated in a playing fields that is not really accessible by public transport and we don't have a car. It’s also where all future sports days will be held, which we didn't realise when we decided to pick the school as our first choice. I know it seems irrational but I fear that this might be the start of things to come with not being able to do everything dd wants to do.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh baby won't sleep. She ended up sleeping on me last night which meant I had no sleep for most of last night either. This is what I get for celebrating her being in her cot for about half of Friday night. She's turned into a little devil 👿

@crazyzooo I'm glad enough sleep makes projectile poos amusing 😉

@WishIWasSleeping did you make it out in the end?

I was thinking about @nursebickypegs and other people we haven't heard from for a while like @Autumnsweater and @Adventuregame. Hopefully all is good and it's just lack of hands 😉

Hello all !!!!!
Hope everyone is doing well ! Sorry I've dropped off the thread - never find time !!!
My little boy is totally gorgeous and I love him soooo much. It's so much harder than I imagined tho - wow, shattered ! Hubby works away sometimes and has already done 2 trips - thank god for my mum coming to stay !!!!
I had the all clear this week from consultant- can't remember if I said but my episiotomy stitches came loose and I got an infection and was readmitted to hospital a week after the birth. All healed now so no need to restitch !
There's no way I'll be able to read what I've missed but lots of love to all and thanks for thinking of me Rise xxx

@1004Rise - nope. Didn't venture out of the front door. Did manage at least a half hour nap when they both slept though, and it was sunny enough to play in the garden for a while. My screamy baby slept in the pram whilst DD and I had a play. It was lovely.
I feel awful that I haven't managed hardly any me and her time whilst DH is away. Hopefully I can get some good cuddles and stories at the weekend!
They took it in turns to cry at me last night so today I'm exhausted, but actually feel grateful they didn't start screaming at the same time!
DH is home on Thursday and we've a full day... roll on Friday when I'd better be getting a lie in and a costa!

@adventuregame glad to hear the consultant has signed you off, how many weeks postpartum are you? I'm waiting to find out about the same thing