May 2017 #16 Sleep deprivation, mumnesia and first smiles

[crazyzooo]

New thread to celebrate the small things (like first smiles and eating steak with one hand), commiserate over the less fabulous stuff (poonamies, vomit eruptions and wind spring to mind) and someone to talk to at 4am

Noisy baby here too! We had a good stretch at the start of the night and then lots of snorting and thumb sucking. I assume when he wakes I have to feed him but sometimes he's not that interested in it.  all round!

@EsmesBees it's really hard, I don't think there's any way of avoiding the crying! But at least when you get out they usually quieten down?

@crazyzooo I would be going bananas at your OH, totally unacceptable. How could he continue exercising if your baby was crying?

I know @teainbed it feels sinister. Genuinely struggling with an approach to discuss this because surely it's something you just don't do and there is no excuse. Feeling lost that this is something I need to explain.. I know his childhood wasn't filled with kisses and cuddles but come on!!

On a lighter note crazy baby has started to laugh and finds everything funny this morning!

@EsmesBees that sounds tough all I can say is good luck!! ☕️

@crazyzooo I'd be fuming too... however do you know if it was full on crying or just grumbling? I'm not sure how you tackle the conversation though 😕 Good news that baby crazy finds everything funny though! 😁

Baby Rise hates blankets can't keep them on her for more than 2 minutes so this morning I put socks on her to keep her feet warm while she was kicking - cue the funniest grumbly faces at having something on her feet she couldn't get off 🤣

@crazyzooo I'm pretty sure it's a man thing, the crying doesn't trigger the same response as it does with mum! I've had many similar conversations with my other half but he has got so much better! Main thing that's helped here is having a conversation about it later once we've calmed down, then he's more likely to listen & get my point.
Maybe try explaining that you deal with the crying and baby's needs all day so he needs to prioritise he baby over other activities when you need his help, and remind him that it won't be forever and he needs to make the most of the time when he's this small! After many conversations it seems to be sinking in over here!

@crazyzooo there's a name for it which I've forgotten but it's something like purposeful ineptitude so he'll do something badly on purpose because he knows if he does he won't get asked to do it again. Adds to the whole Wifework scenario and makes for an easy life for some men.

@crazyzooo @teainbed @tickyboovicki DH here is v hands on and caring, and sufficiently 21st century that he used the term 'emotional labour' the other day about me making the small talk with a b&b owner... but he just doesn't find the crying that upsetting and so seemingly doesn't think it upsets baby that much either, which is mind boggling to me. So I think there's got to be some kind of hormonal component.

I mean, as well as a cultural and political component !

An awful night here as well, baby and 2yo have perfected their waking times to ensure I just get no sleep 😴. Baby so unsettled after 3am. She's fairly settled during the day as long as she's in the sling or on me. She cries in the evening but I've found if I can jiggle her in the sling then lower her enough to feed that she'll settle then.

@newbieho I had cranial osteopathy for my DS when he was a baby and I found it helped him sleep better. Baby has had 1 session this week and is going back next week. It really looks like they're doing nothing, but DD was exhausted after her session and slept for hours and hours despite going in and out of car, shops, home and gp appointment so it did impact her.

Food shopping is depressing on a restricted diet, and to make matters worse I think she's reacting to egg as well

BabyTea will not nap this afternoon. It's feed, shush, doze fretfully on my shoulder, howl a bit and then feed again.

We were speaking of the expense of food shopping, my Amazon habit is out of control! Prime is so easy and quick for all those random purchases!

@Acorncat is there anything left that you can eat?? 😦

@newbieho what is cranial osteopathy? What is it supposed to do?

Just picked up a breast pump from Health visitor, it's a manual one but I get to keep it and I can work out if it works for me before forking out for an expensive electric one. I'm really starting to like my new NHS trust.... I have to find out how I can tell them that.... 🤔

@teainbed Amazon is dangerous.... step away from the add to basket button! My issue seems to be clothes although my bottom half has returned to normal size my top half doesn't fit in my pre pregnant clothes and between me leaking and random baby sick I never seem to have anything to wear 😣

@crazyzooo and those in the same boat, fuuuuuming for you!
@CoxsOrangePippin My DP also doesn't feel the pain I feel when my otherwise rather chilled out little boy starts crying (you know with the lip thrilling, long before the face turns beetroot!)

Self settling at this age doesn't exist. If I leave my little man crying, he just deteriorates into a desperate sobbing. I know that because I've had to visit the loo (kegels failing miserably!) urgently when my boy was already crying and he was due a feed, so I knew I wasn't gonna put him down any time soon and I've not yet mastered going to the loo with him in my arms (don't even...)

Rant over? Not quite! Went to Sainsbury's and had to urgently change my boy. Left the changing mat which belongs to or matches my bag on the horribly soiled and damaged changing mat provided. Went back as soon as I realised (hour later ?) and it was gone ! Nothing handed in at lost and found, Who takes something that isn't theirs!? Ok baby brain will only take disposable ones from now on!

@1004Rise my diet is terrible anyway, but luckily I've found crisps and chocolate and of course fruit and veg, meat, rice and potato waffles 😕

Cranial osteopathy to look at is just them lightly touching their heads and body, it seems like total bollocks tbh but does seem to help

I had a terrible amazon habit before during night feeds. I keep buying clothes on amazon, which is ridiculous as they're more expensive than supermarkets for things like strappy tops, and don't usually fit

@teainbed I spend far too much time on Amazon. Prime is amazing 😄 I feel like I'm getting presents every time the postman comes!

I've also been picking up a few bits online from the sales this week 😳 @1004Rise I know what you mean. Sitting here in a top with two lovely wet patches but baby is sleeping on me! I have things for sitting around in at home and a few summery dresses but not much for days like today when it's grim.

I can't face going to Westfield again but I could really do with another bikini before our holiday. I need bottoms that won't upset my c section wound - and I don't want to spend too much! Might be time for an H@M order.

Glad I'm not the only one going crazy with amazon prime! Got a 30 day trial when we got home from the hospital and it was very useful for all the stuff I'd forgotten to buy/didn't know I needed, think the amazon delivery driver isn't massively impressed with his daily visits to me though! 😂

So much to catch up on but LOL at the amazon prime habits. Guilty.
Aren't we lucky it's sale time everywhere too just as we're in the thick of nightfeeds? It doesn't feel like real money at 3am.(Foresees crying into July bank statement)

Can I add Ocado to the list of things I need rehab for

I have a no shopping after midnight rule! Also a bit too fond of ocado :)

@mightymouse76 I think there's a rule that any shopping done online, after 10pm, with a baby in the sales, doesn't actually count. Not real money 😁

That's annoying about your mat rustler. Really grim to take someone else's changing mat.

That's what baby Bees was like this morning tea. Really unsettled and refused to.sleep properly. And then out for the count most of the afternoon.

Have swapped with DH tonight and have escaped to the spare room with him waking me up for feeds. I sleep so much better away from the baby, just had a four hour stretch and it felt wonderful.

Can't decide if I prefer @savagehk - no shopping after midnight rule or if @MrsJW15 theory of it not being real money ....

We've just had a great sleep, 5.5 hrs then 5 minute top up feed, then another 2.5 hours through to 07.00 - that's almost normal! I'm now analysing everything we did yesterday to see if we can repeat the pattern 🤔😜

@Rustler74 I can't believe someone took your mat, who does that?! 😤

@Rustler74 how annoying about the mat! Who does that?

@crazyzooo how are you today? What was the outcome of #GymGate? Hope you had a better night.

Glad you got a decent chunk of sleep @EsmesBees it makes a huge difference. I'm convinced I disrupt BabyTea by rustling the duvet. We've never managed to roomshare for 6 months with any of our children before, not sure how long well managed with BabyTea.

Can't remember who was struggling with leaky breastpads, but I've been wearing Avent nighttime ones (free sample) and they seem very good, quite good coverage.

Morning ladies

Definitely need matchsticks for my eyes, as nate had a horrible sleep. He kept on waking up every hour between 1-6 this morning crying for a feed and then doing a poo midway through each feed. Then dd woke up at 6.30 ready for the day!

Apart from doing the nursery run, I will be staying at home today.

Hope all is well with you.

Those with amazing sleep: been to a LLL meeting yesterday and frankly my hope is gone !

@Rustler74 - what's a LLL meeting? Apologies for the dense question but brain not functioning due to sleep depravity.

rustler did they mention the 12 week regression? Dreading it already!

Tea we didn't make it to 6 months with DD in our room, and won't again. As soon as the feeds get a bit quicker I think we'll move her. I need some sleep!

Hope things are better today crazy. It's a huge change for both of you, hopefully he'll get the message that the little one comes first from now on.