November 2014 - the one where they test boundaries.

[MrsAukerman]

New thread ladies. Jump on board.

Oh no yes ours was a 4pm showing an hr away so meant early collection from school n nursery

Help me!

DD has over the last few months refused to wear trousers and will only wear dresses, princess dresses at that (which means floaty rather than snug fit. She LOVES tights (weird) but occasionally I can get her to wear leggings. The princess stuff is also her favourite play theme and toys.

Yesterday she told us she wasn't friends with her friend 'A' anymore because A wears trousers and is ugly and not a beautiful princess. She is friends with B and C because they are beautiful princesses like her.

I'm devastated. I always tried to make her play inclusively and without judgement and she always used to wear trousers including 'boys' clothes and really avoided the glittery dresses and slogan t shirts saying 'beautiful' or similar looks focused terms. Nursery told us recently that her empathy is developed beyond her age and she is first to comfort an upset peer and to bring them into her play.
Am I massively over reacting to be upset? What can I do? We've spoken to her about not judging on clothes and being friendly. We're going to stop praising her beauty/looks/outfits in favour of highlighting how kind/thoughtful/clever she is.

I feel like I've failed.

Oh Ladydolly DD mainly wears "pretty dress" these days as well and her favorite colour is pink apparently. So much so me being all that gender neutral with her and always buying her clothes in dogma free colours. Doesn't look like we have escaped the great marketing machinery in our household...

All the signs point that we are approaching the time when DD is going to be very frank and almost cruel about things she sees around her. So I am bracing myself.

On the lighter (or not so much) note. The other day "bugger" slipped out of me in DD presence. She started to giggle in a way it was clear she knew exactly it wasn't a nice word and shouldn't be said out loud. A bit of distraction technique and she seemed to have forgotten about it. However, two weeks later we were away for bank holiday weekend and she started to go on "bugger, bugger, bugger". We kept telling her she shouldn't say it, but to no good. Until DH said we will have to get back to car and go home because we couldn't go in public with a child using that language. DD likes traveling, so stopped straight away. Following day at a fairly big festival me and DD queuing for WC, people all around and DD in full volume says to me " Mummy, you see, I am not saying bugger anymore!"

Back from an amazing holiday in RAK which is an hr from Dubai stayed at doubletree by Hilton Marian island it was beautiful v child friendly and excellent value. It was 45degrees all week so either in pool or shade boys were not bothered by heat in slightest.

Tad jet lagged now and joys of back to drudgety9of work washing cooking etc

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine if anyone is within 2hrs of Milton Keynes I highly recommend Gulliver land there so much to do.

So ds2 had his 3yr vaccinations on wed was a star and that eve small red area around Mmr site, Thursday little more red, Fri morning I took photo to monitor as red and hot to touch hevwouldnt let me draw round it, Fri just before 5pm nursery ring it's shoulder to almost elbow red hot lumpy swollen so GP said bring straight in I was half hr away with ds1 so DH went to get him and yep infected prescribed high dose (adult dose) of antibiotics now the fun bit a stubborn 3yr old who decides he doesn't like it every frigging trick I know as a children's nurse doesn't work he gargle it in back throat and forces it out this is 4 frigging times a day so until yesterdat9arm was getting worse we had til today to get it better or review (I am hospital today for eye clinic with him anyway) so yesterday I take to pinning hi, down holdinh9his nose so he can only breath through his mouth it wasn't pleasant but we got two doses in yesterday with none coming out and this morning his arm is looking much better.

I hadn't experienced an infected injection site in a toddler so was v surprised and I have had my fair share of fight toddlers trying to give meds but my rascal is on a whole new level I also guess I had no emotional attachment to patients whereas I feel so horrible when he is screaming please don't.

Now to see eye consultant for first time as 2yrs plus of patching has done zilch I haven't told the stubborn rascal he will prob need eye drips9mustvremember his sunglasses as Sun hurts his eyes after.

I will be glad of work on Tuesday

Oh eastmids you have my sympathy!!! It's so hard when they are begging and pleading. I really shouted at DD last time and felt so bad. She ended up taking it from a spoon much better than the syringe things. I really hope he's on the mend.

Did you go all inclusive to RAK? Did you fly to Dubai?

Lady dolly I will admit to shouting too.

Yes flew to Dubai and went all Inc it so expensive even for soft drinks.

eastmids when DD1 was 3 or 4 I resorted to bribing her with chocolate to get her to take antibiotics. She had to take them 4 times a day so I had to send them to nursery with her, not my greatest parenting moment as the nursery staff knew what I did for a job. It is always much easier to do these things when it is someone else's child.

DD2 has started asking if we can have a baby, because "some of my pre-school friends have got babies." She even told me which one of her toys she would give to the baby. Unfortunately for her we are not planning DC3

Also, eastmids have you ever been to the Gulliver's Land in Derbyshire? It is reasonably near my parents, and DDs have found a leaflet for it somewhere and mention it from time to time. Is it any good?

Happy bribery and corruption didn't work and yep ref easier to give to someone else child. Little darling took them fine at nursery as apparently they do them nicer!

Only been to Gulliver at Milton Keynes but friends have been to both mk and matlock bath like both but said MB is on a hill so start at top and work way down.

We enjoyed it great for this age group ds1 is 8 at end aug and 123cm and ds2 is 100cm now

Week 3 of our summer hols had first week off and sent ds2 to nursery 3 days and on othervtwo we did warwick castle and Alton TOWERS which they both enjoyed. Ds1 and I finished the weekend off with stomach bugs. Ds1 has been at holiday club some days and either of us has had some days too, e send ds2 to nursery most of the time as it's paid for.

Hope everyone else is ok

I think it is the second week of school holidays here (I am very confused by times and days right now after finishing night shifts, coming home for a nap and going back to work for a hour to do an assessment ). We have not done much yet. We are also continuing to send DD2 to nursery because it is paid for and so I can do things with DD1. We are heading to Wales for a week on Friday or Saturday. My mother is there looking after a relative's house and pets while they are away and we are invited too, which is good as we can't afford a proper holiday. If we are very lucky, my mum might offer to babysit one evening so DH and I can go out. That would be probably the third time we have been out for the evening since having DD2. Time to start thinking about washing all our clothes!

Oh happy the break will be nice we have been out for one eve since ds2 was born when my brother stayed and lunch a few times by having days off work and boys being at nursery and school.

Ds2 has a specialist appointment tomorow with s research professor for his eyes I am going to be open minded expect nothing and hope for a miracle

We had a nice week in Wales. I think the rest of the country had a heat wave while we were there, but it was reasonably warm and sunny for the first few days then fairly miserable and wet. The first night we were there we put DDs to bed late as we had been travelling so they weren't ready at the usual time and we were hoping for a lie-in. They woke up at 6am claiming that the sheep in nearby fields had woken them up. We went to beaches, to the zoo, to a butterfly house where the butterflies would land on you if you stayed still (DD2 had a tantrum because they didn't land on her much because she didn't have the patience to wait for the them) and to some old mines that had dragons in. Because my parents were also there, mostly only one of the them at a time, DH and I got to go out for dinner which was very nice. This week we were home, DD1 had joined in-laws on their holiday and DD2 was at pre-school, so DH and I had a day out without DC which was amazing! Only just over 2 weeks until DD1 is back at school, and DD2 is starting 3 days a week at pre-school in September. We haven't told her that, because she claims not to like pre-school and moans every time about going. She always enjoys it once she gets there though and talks happily about what she did there and her friends.
eastmids how did you get on with the eye appointment?

@happy thanks for asking several eye appointments down the line and new glasses they are not sure if next steps really and surgery is inevitable so it's a watch and wait situation. I could rantbas has been bit shit really but won't.

Ds1 went back to school on 28th Aug just 3days after his bday into yr4 reminds me he is youngest when his friend turned 9 today.

Best it was nice to go for dinner @happy

Hello all,

Dd2 arrived safe and sound on 24th Sept by elcs. She is utterly gorgeous! Dd1 has not taken to.it well, she was great all through my pregnancy but hates sharing and the impact it has on her. Luckily dd2 has been relatively easy so far!!

Congratulations on your new baby. Hope DD1 gets used to her sister soon.

Congrats @ladydolly ds1 was 4yrs 3mths when ds2 arrived and was good age gap guess I was lucky with him being Aug birthday and starting school before ds2 arrived in Nov. Although I guess dd1 is at nursery?

Ds2 is a bit miffed as a lot of ore school room all started school and he kept saying but I am big he will have been in that room a yr once bday comes around and sure he will be bored before school starts.

eastmids we have a similar problem re pre-school, because most of her friends moved on to school and she was sad. She wanted a birthday party and wanted to invite her old friends, but I didn't know them or their parents so had no way of getting in touch to invite them. There seems to be a few of them there who are old for their school year though, as she has already been invited to 2 birthday parties since the start of September. I hadn't thought of her being bored of pre-school as she has already been there for a year, think she started at the start of October last year.
Her party is in 12 days at a soft-play, easiest party you can do, just turn up with party bags and cake. I have been shopping for party bag tat today, and I think we have just about decided what to get for the 4yr old who already has everything. I asked her the other day what she wanted for a birthday present. She replied "everything DD1 has got!"

Have been fallen off the thread just to notice the big news have come in - Congratulations @ladydolly! Hope you are all doing well.

DD has had two of her close nursery friends changing preschool to the preschools attached to the schools their siblings attend. DD was asking for weeks if she could go to "Big school". It felt like she got an idea that the other two girls are somehow better for moving on and telling the nursery about the big school. I ended up telling that they would be going to baby class in the Big school while she would be in big kids class in the current preschool.
At least there is one girl still in our preschool from the friends group left and if the plans work out next september 3 out of 4 will be back together in the primary school.

Hello all, been quiet on here cos we had a crazy summer - we moved house and also therefore had to move nursery.

I was really worried about it, as DS had some very special friends in there. It helped a bit that the friends were going to Big School in September so realistically he was only going to have them for another couple of months anyway, but he wasn't to know that.

The new nursery is attached to the new school around the corner from us (we basically bought this house for the nice school and it's proximity to the house) and its great cos there is breakfast club and afterschool and they have separate areas so are not thrown in with the babies.

He was OK with the transition at first but after a couple of weeks he started to become temperamental. He has made friends now (all boys ) so is more settled but he still loses his temper if he's really thwarted.

For example yesterday he wasn't showing good enough listening during circle time so he was told he wasn't allowed a bike during outdoors time but then I guess an hour later when they went outside and he was denied a bike he got cross and started "spitting" (basically blowing raspberries).

So this sort of stuff happens about once a week. I don't know whether to be worried about it or not, as it's not that often. But on the other hand we have told him about not getting cross till we're blue in the face and he still gets cross in nursery on occasion. We do make a big deal about it and make him say sorry and show him how disappointed we are and everything.

On the plus side the learning seems to have gone up a notch, it definitely seems more pre-school in content, he's learning loads. And his Irish is really coming on, which will help him loads next year when he starts learning it in actual lessons.

God it's been stressful though! Loads of building work etc! Loads of disruption in every way.

But feel very settled, we'll be here now for the next 20 years definitely, and that's a nice feeling.

Anna I don't think that behaviour is out of the norm for a 3 year old to be honest. Also, I think that nursery is punishing him at outside time for something he did 1 hour ago and probably doesn't even remember, especially as most 3 year olds don't really have a concept of 'good enough listening' and he probably doesn't even really know what he was doing wrong in the first place. So, no wonder he is still doing it.

Does that make sense? I had about 3 broken hours of sleep last night so possibly not.

DD has a wheezy cough that kept her awake for a lot of the night. Even when she was asleep I was awake trying to make a decision on what to do about work today. I didn't think she would be well enough for nursery but knew the shift at work was already short staffed. In the end I decided I had to stay at home with her, and we have been to the GP for inhaler and steroids to try and get her better before her birthday on Friday. She spent her third birthday in hospital with a chest infection so I would really like to avoid a repeat of that. At least she was well enough for her party on Saturday and seemed to have a good time despite lying on the floor of the soft play and crying at one point (probably overtired from waking up far too early) and claiming she didn't enjoy it because one of her friends didn't turn up (no idea why, no contact from the parent who had replied to the invitation a while ago to say they would come).
Can't believe she is 4 this week, and still trying to kill me with sleep deprivation after 4 years!!!

Hello e set one. Anna I agree with happy I think nursery management of the behaviour is poor you can't punish a child an hr later at that age I would ask to see their behaviour management policy and ask for the evidence base behind their decision making but that's the nurse in me that likes a rationale for decision making. To me it sounds like an adult who couldn't control the behaviour so made an inappropriate rash decision fine as a parent we all do it but not ok as a professional.

DS2 had a 4week trial with patches with monitors added to patches and glasses for 10hrs a day and it concluded patching has done nothing for him and will not be worth continuing after 2.5yrs we had no improvement and it's likely his vision is as good as it will ever be. We are awaiting tests to use eyes to check the nerve pathways but he had other extensive tests which were all fine. He will need a squint op at some point too.

Poor little mite day before hospital appointment and 2 days before our holiday he fell flat on his face at nursery he didn't cry but after 10mins they noticed blood seeping through both patches he had a deep cut the applied prressure and cold pack as was bruising they couldn't get hold of me I was delivering a conference so DH said give Calpol I collected him as soon as knew about an hr after it happened and it had clotted but had I have been there at the time I would have steristripped it. They let him go to sleep just before I go there I woke him and they said it was an hr after I then kept him awake til much later to check he was def ok he was fine in fact we went to the pub for dinner. He had a massive black eye for our holiday though.

We have just got back from a week in Turkey was lovely and hot. But back to reality of work, safeguarding and no staff life in the NHS sadly I love it and that's why I still do it.

Happy hope your DD has a good party ours is booked for Nov soft play and bouncy castle for 30 kids it was a competition win so free parry9 it's where my eldest does karate so we spend plenty with them. Just party bags and cake need to order a cake from Costco think they are £18 but massive.

Hi everyone, god it's been ages!

Congrats ladydolly on dd2! Hope you are all getting on well.

You are all great organising the parties...we have yet to organise dd2's and cutting it fine. I hate soft play birthday parties with a passion but it may end up as that because she wants friends there and our house isn't big enough. We've all had the same issues it sounds like with older friends moving to big school. But dd2 is making new friends now so that's great. Here in Ireland most kids now start school at 5 or close to anyway.

Anna great about the new house. We are finally thinking about a renovation to our 'new' house 3 years after moving in. Is the building work awful? Have you found it very expensive?

Happy poor you still battling the nights. I'm there again with dd3 who is how 7.5 months.she is teething and in absolutely foul humour most of the time right now. I cannot put her down, it's so draining. Our house is an absolute pit. There is just not enough time to tidy it up, especially with Velcro baby. Have to remind myself it's not forever.

East how is ds2 now?

Hi to everyone else I've forgotten.

Halfstar it's more the disruption. I've discovered most lads we get in: builders/tilers/plumbers/electricians etc don't tend to leave till 6, so it's a weary Goodfellas pizza at that stage after keeping kids in one room all evening.

And they ALL sing really loudly and smoke fags out the patio door that blows through the house, and the house gets freezing cos the patio door is open until 6.....its doable but its a pain in the ass.

We aren't spending lots this year - "only" about 4k. We are hoping to get to 4.3k for the Home Renovation Initiative grant which I heard ends in December so get cracking if you want that! (Though it may be extended, look into it) Not sure though as bloody tiler insisted on being paid under the table and that was 750.

We knocked through 2 rooms into 1, got two stoves and chimneys and windows fixed and floors done. Also lots and lots of insulation (you get an SEI grant and also an Electric Ireland grant which really helps)

Horrible dark grubby Bathrooms and replacing crappy pvc front and back door has to wait till next Yr!

Kids have loved having builders in though! They're obsessed with them and are hammering everything!