March 2017 babies

[purpleviolet1]

So my 9 day old baby boy was delivered by emcs at 37+5 gestation due to presenting breech (waters broke and contractions started). First baby so lots to learn!

Currently giving him expressed milk and formula topup. We tried breastfeeding but there was latch issues, he got very frustrated as he wasn't getting satisfied and my nipple was cracked and bleeding within a couple of days. I then got blocked ducts and the whole thing was a disaster really. I feel like a bit of a failure and did get help from bf clinic for the latch but it was little too late. With the c section recovery I just feel too exhausted to have him on the boob constantly and least with formula he is getting some decent sleep (although I'm usually expressing during this time so don't get a proper rest).

Oh and his fussy time is between 10pm -2am. He tends to feed and need winded on repeat between this time. It's exhausting but tonight I had a nap from 7-10pm in anticipation.

Come and join me for some chat...

We have been following the Gina ford routine and thankfully it's working wonders. Ds was very fussy from 8-11pm but that has got much better as we aim to put him down at 7pm after a bath and bottle. Could you try a similar thing in that after her feed at 5, have a little play, bath and offer another feed (she will probably want it after a bath) and put her down? It says in the book that evenings tend to be fussiest so avoid them by aiming to put them down before that time.

Went to docs for 6 week checkup and I got the dates wrong. It's next Friday. So annoyed with myself. Had so much to discuss as well

Thanks namechange! Will download app now. Where did you get blinds fro m?

Ignore - you said curtains...

Well I did get a nice blackout blind for the guest room from Homebase.

Got our bedroom curtains made to measure from John Lewis, and a family member kindly made the curtains in DS's room (we just paid for the fabric and other bits).

Homebase blackout blinds

These blinds are cute (but more expensive)

Thanks purple I would like to get her into a night time routine. I thought we had one but the past couple of nights she's been unsettled and then there's the screaming

Will try and do bath earlier, bit difficult in the next couple of days though as we have my DSSs for the bank holiday weekend but will give it a go.

My LO went 5 hours between feeds and she still only had 100mls which is just over 3oz thought she would have had it all given how long she waited.

Done my back in today. So painful around my kidney area. Could really do with a bath. Anyone with a tear had a bath yet? I know I'm supposed to wait another week, would it make that much difference?

I'm really looking forward to a bath but gonna wait till six weeks. I had a 2nd degree tear. Probably would be OK a bit sooner but you don't like to risk it do you

No I was fine waiting but my lower back is killing me, I know a nice soak in a boiling bath would help. My LO will be 6 weeks on Thursday, I had a tear 3 not sure what the difference is but all means the same l. No baths for 6 weeks

carol all this talk about baths is making me want one. But how to find the time?!

I would wait to make sure everything is healed up. When's your 6 week check?

Carol
I agree with Daphne - as you had a third degree tear (which is quite severe) I would definitely wait until it's fully healed, or at least get advice from your doctor first. Could you make an appointment and see what they advise in light of your back pain?
Meanwhile you could try a hot water bottle - not the same as a hot bath but better than nothing! And see if your DP will give you a massage?!

daphne l know!

I'm not back at the hospital until the 23rd of May ☹

Will try a hot water bottle. When I can sit/lie still long enough.

I always get worried about my back, I had a slipped disc removed a few years ago and then had steroid injections for another disc 2 years ago

Was so bad during the night and this morning I'm feeding my DD while she is proped up in her donut cushion. Feel so horrible I can't pick her up. Had to get my OH to lay her on me while i was lying down so I could cuddle her

Poor you carol. Back pain can be so disabling. Unfortunately having a baby involves a lot of wear and tear on the body just from carrying them around. I hope you're able to get some rest.

How are the c sections healing up? I'm still feeling regular pain in mine and it's been 6weeks.

Can I ask if anyone is suffering from anxiety? I feel I am anxious about family members not appreciating my long term health issues and in turn I am anxious about not being well enough to lookafter ds. It's pathetic really, especially writing it down. Going to discuss with doctor at 6 week check. I'm not feeling it all the time but do have moments where I panic. I go from feeling confident to feeling helpless. The lack of sleep doesn't help. What's worse is that even when I have the opportunity to sleep I can't switch off mentally for some reason. I'm not even thinking anything when lying there wide awake. If anyone has any tips feel free to share.

purple
Sorry to hear you're struggling with anxiety It's not pathetic! I have had some anxious thoughts and sad moments - I think it's normal in the rollercoaster of having a newborn - but nothing too serious. However it does sound as if it would be a good idea for you to talk to the doctor about it. When is your 6 week check up, hopefully soon?
I've had depression in the past and found CBT very helpful, and I know it can help with anxiety too. CBT is usually available on the NHS so you could ask your GP about it. You might also be able to self-refer (I did) - Google IAPT in your area.
Another thing I've found very helpful is yoga (there are postnatal yoga classes) and mindfulness - you can get apps (e.g. Headspace), books and CDs with mindfulness meditations. If you Google MBSR and/or MBCT you should find information about the approach and research behind it.

Thanks namechange,

Appt is on Friday. I've googled IAPT but nothing in my area. Am reading up on MbSR /MBCt. I've downloaded the headspace app! Thanks so much.

I've started taking iron tablets again today and going to start vitamins too. Hopefully everything together will make a difference x

Might have messed up on the routine today don't know how. She slept at different times and missed her hour nap at 11. So instead of sleeping 3-5 she slept 1-3 so had a feed at 3:30. So she wasn't hungry as usual at 5. She's now had her bath and couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. Bless her

I sometimes suffer with anxiety, never had meds for it though. Only get it if I'm stressed with being unorganized or if there's to much mess/clutter. I start to get panicky and claustrophobic. Going out and getting fresh air helps me. Just stepping away for a bit.

Ok maybe I didn't mess the routine up that much, she had her last feed 4 and a half hours ago. At what point do I wake her?

Ds is still all over the place with the cold - it sounds better but he is being very fussy and just not happy. I'm still trying to follow the routine we had going on but I feel like jacking it all in and going with the flow especially as he seems so drowsy but too scared he will be up all night then!

Carolann - I put him down at 7pm after bath and wake him up at 10pm for a 'dream feed' and then he wakes up himself around 3/4am and then we start our day at 7am.

purple You're welcome, hope you find the app useful and the doctor is helpful on Friday. And I agree with Carol, a walk in the fresh air can do you good

FWIW we're not trying to impose a routine at all. In the evening DS usually falls asleep around 9.45pm, although sometimes it's a bit later or earlier. He usually wakes up once in the night for a feed at about 2am but that can change and sometimes he wakes up more frequently. He then starts stirring at about 5.30am and wakes up properly, wanting food, by 6am. Then he will often have a long (2-4 hour) nap during the day, starting around lunchtime more often than not, although yesterday it was in the morning, and some days he doesn't have one Basically we are just following his lead at the moment, feeding him when he seems hungry (until he's satisfied) and letting him sleep when he seems tired (until he wakes up naturally).

It's difficult for us because we can't predict or plan, but in a way it's also easier because we're not over thinking things or battling to get DS to do something he doesn't want to do!

For those whose dc are awake a lot during the day, what are they doing? I ask because my DS sleeps a lot, but if he's awake he's not willing to be put down very much. Maybe 10 minutes in the bouncy chair at a real push.

Daphne
He is often feeding - not at the breast the whole time but sometimes snoozing for a bit then feeding again.
Getting his nappy changed, or having some nappy free time (we put him in the bath on a big folded towel - he seems to enjoy it, he looks around and kicks his legs), or having a bath.
He likes sitting in his bouncer but usually wants to be picked up again after 5-15 minutes.
If we go out and he's not sleepy he will calmly sit in his car seat or pushchair and look around at everything with a serious expression on his face

Daphne mine tends to be awake a lot late afternoon into evening. She likes to be held and walking around looking at things. She'll go in her swing for 5 mins or so. She does not like being put down. I've got a sling so I can get on with doing stuff more.

Purple I have quite bad anxiety about something bad happening to her, an accident or illness or someone taking her. I was the same with my first. I cope with it by telling myself that logically nothing can be achieved by my worrying, seeing my friends and family regularly, meditation (in the form of church attendance but any relaxation would help) and walking every day.

Magnesium tablets also seem to have a calming effect, as does this works pillow spray.

name and troodie thanks. Your dc sound really sweet! Mine is basically doing the same as yours but dozes off all the time. Unfortunately he wakes the second he is put down/pram stops moving etc!

Sorry to hear everyone's experiences with anxiety. Having a new baby is a particularly anxious time I think as they are so vulnerable, and we are bombarded with advice and guidelines.