July 2016 #3

[primarynoodle]

Hello all! Can't believe we're on thread 3! Let's kickstart with a then and now photo :)

Here's Annie at 4 months 4 days

I do love you guys! It feels so amazing to have this network of people ready to offer a kind word. Honestly, I am so grateful.

Right then. Julf, sounds like the sleep training is going well - long may it continue! Can't remember if I said but we have had help from the health visitor - she is supporting me in trying to get Ruben to nap during the day. Mixed success - he is napping in his cot now, but it takes bloody ages to get him to go down and he tends to only stay down for half an hour, twice a day. He's only waking twice at night now though so I'll take that! Sorry to hear about Jasper's rash - really hope it clears up soon, poor little sausage. Speaking of sausages... Haha to the willy love! I changed Ruben in the staff room at school yesterday and they howled at how quickly he grabbed onto his willy once I had released the beast from the nappy!!!!
Ru also loves walking and has zero interest in crawling. He has manage d to work out a manoeuvre whereby he rolls forwards with a big effort, then rolls back a little bit, then chucks himself forward with a big effort again... And in so doing can inch his way to whatever item he desires (usually a bag strap - he loves straps and laces). It cracks me up!
I think it sounds fair that you use your KIT ways in that way - but I don't know much about it! Can you ask HR at work?

Sunday - I am trying to rekindle the cooking as well! It's a lot easier now I can sit Ru up with some toys (surrounded by pillows of course in case of toppling on our travertine tiled floor!!!) I even bought a meal planner pad the other day, which made me feel like I am turning into my mum!
Oh how I laughed at your unidentifiable freezer meal. Have I already mentioned about the number of times I have defrosted and started to eat a veggie chilli - only to discover it's my husband's beef chilli? Often it has taken more than one spoonful to decide what it is. I am much better at labelling things now!!!

Sophie, cheery and birchy - you poor things! Here's hoping the sleeplessness is just a hiccup!

Rolly - four teeth! Eek! Glad that the weaning is going well - it will be strange to be a bit more independent from the babies won't it? But a relief as well in a way - I am looking forward to being able to get MIL and friends to babysit!
Gorgeous swinging photos. I hadn't thought about going to the swings but I don't think we are far off that now! How exciting!
Haha I laughed at you and your password. I could never remember mine after school holidays!

Primary - great news on the sippy cup! Hooray! Poor you on sleep though. Hope it improves pronto.

Becks - how did the room move go? I have come to the conclusion it's time to move Ruben too. I am a bit frustrated by having to tiptoe into bed, and not being able to talk much to DH once in bed! I drew out plans of our two smaller bedrooms yesterday and cut out little paper scale plans of our furniture (I know I know, I am sad) and I bought a triple wardrobe from eBay last night to give some chalk paint treatment... I am keen to make a really pretty nursery! And sort out our lack of storage. Also, we are looking to sell the house, and DH fancies Air bnb ing it in the meantime, so I have some great excuses to go interior design crazy.

Cheery - we are feeding like that too! I laughed at you having to pretend you're not watching - sounds familiar! I ditched BLW a couple of weeks ago because we had a couple of tiny chokes which scared the crap out of me (and my friend who was with me at the time, who has been BLW and hasn't had anything like that happen with her baby!). I just felt like I wasn't enjoying it and it wasn't easy because I was so anxious about him choking. Also, I need him to reduce feeding from my poor (just started bleeding again by the way) boobs sooner rather than later. So I started purees and mash instead. For the first two weeks he refused to be fed, but happily got the hang of taking the spoon from me and stuffing it into his own face. However last night I pureed some bean chilli, rice and avocado (separately, not all together) and my god I could not get the spoon in fast enough for him! He just opened wide and let me spoon it in!
Regarding my woes (!), yes, I am talking to RL people about it a bit. And that is helping.

MrsRolly - thanks for that reminder; it is actually very easy to forget that I've packed quite a lot into these first six months (as we all have!) and yes, the feeding issues certainly have taken their toll. I am hoping that one day we will look back on this having forgotten all the bad bits and just remember the lovely bits - because there are lovely bits. I guess I am extra disappointed that I'm not getting the dreamy happy new family vibes that I have always imagined would accompany our first baby - but I know damn well that doesn't happen for everyone!

Sunday - actually, knowing I'm not the only one who has had relationship difficulties has been hugely reassuring these last few weeks, and has given me hope that it is fairly normal. As I said, I think this runs deeper, but there is no doubt that having a baby has brought everything to the surface - and you know what, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we never would have got round to addressing this stuff otherwise. Painful as it is now, it could improve things eventually. I hope.
Funnily enough I am going to see my friend in London tomorrow. DH is driving up for the weekend to help out a friend of his, so he is going to drop me off at my friend's place for Friday night. I'm really looking forward to it.

Also... I swear Ruben said 'mom' the other day! And he keeps trying to say it again... Am I being delusional or can that happen this early?!

Also, because I feel massively guilty about stating on a public forum, however anonymously, that I am having relationship issues, for the record I would also like to say that DH is amazing with Ru - he is so lovely and funny and loving, and he is exactly the dad I want for my baby. We just need to work on being kinder to each other I think, which I am sure is a very common thing in marriages. I do feel weird about talking about these things on the Internet - especially as I'm not sure how DH would feel about me doing so - but for me it has been so helpful to hear your honest downs as well as your ups, to convince me I am not alone in my imperfect foray into parenthood, that I somehow felt I couldn't pretend on here that every thing is roses and buttercups because it's not! It's been really really hard. But it's not been constantly hard - there are great bits all the time, and bits where I feel totally fulfilled and where I do get that dreamy happy family feeling, and what we are working on now is making that feeling more regular for both of us. I'm not stupid and I know it won't be great all the time - just read a fab chapter in Hurrah For Gin about exactly this! - but I am confident it can be better than it is and that is what I am working towards!

The room move has gone well, Ben is defining more settled. Only went in once last night to put back in his dummy and then I had to wake him at 8am as I had things to do!

Blue me and DH have defining had lots of ups and downs since having children and its defining harder when they are tiny and do demanding of our time. I hope you work things out and things improve for you both.

With regards to weaning. Ben is eating me out of house and home, he has a big bowl of porridge for brekkie, then a large 7month+ jar, finger food and yoghurt for lunch, then same again for dinner and anything else he can get his hands on!! He still has 27oz of milk between 4 bottles although I'll be looking at dropping another bottle soon.

I'm not going to bother with KIT days but my last 8 weeks of mat leave are actually last years accrued a/l so I'll probably do a few shifts in that time and my mandatory yearly update and any training I've missed.

Yeah things aren't all rosy here at the moment but you've put into words exactly how I feel bluebs. Such a way with words :)

mrsrolly I had the same thought about narrating my day at work! I'm sooo going to refer to myself as Mummy accidentally too! As in "Mummy is just going to send an email before we go to the meeting" (said in a sing song voice obviously!)

Oh my god I just TWICE laughed so hard I had a coughing fit and nearly woke the baby!
"'Mummy's just going to send an email...' in a sing-song voice", and "Talking of sausages" 😂

Bloody hell this threads moved quick!!! bluebell seriously i could write i book on my relationship troubles, i feel we are getting back on track but i honestly thought we wouldnt survive the first few months. Essentially because ive always put up with shit from his family and sonce A was born i refuse to any more which caused huge issues, theres other stuff too but were getting there i think. I dont know whats going on with you but believe me youre not alone - i also think being sat at home with only a baby for company lets those thoughts creep in and theres no escape or distraction from the problems. Big hugs from me here and remember not only are you doing a fab job as a mum youre also writing a flipping book! I feel honoured to have done the hoovering some days 😂. I think its very telling how most of us are finding something tricky with our partners becks wow! Annie wont even flipping roll! Im jealous of your room move success! Although last few days annies only had one wake up between bedtime and 11ish (im not even thinking about night times - its too traumatic!) But at least im getting some evenings. julf ive started my friday morning kit days, its quite nice to be back - always lovely to be mobbed by 100 screaming 4-11 year olds screaming at you! But im finding it hard leaving annie! sunday im a bit ive been really lax about allergens - both me and dp have no history of allergies and i eat fish eggs and nuts as pretty much my main diet so i figured any intolerences would have shown up in breastfeeding, shes had all meat, eggs and peanut butter and been fine now so think ive been lucky!

Guys I'm so sorry! I've been awol. The girls have had shitty viruses that have taken weeks to go and I've had horrendous thrush in my boobs that keeps recurring. The girls are on the mend so of course now I've got the virus. Shivering in bed under a million layers waiting till 10.10 so I can take drugs!

julf sorry to hear about re eczema / rash have you tried aveeno? It has a baby range I also find coconut massage oil is awesome!

bluebell I almost left DH when DD1 was a baby. I remember googling everything in the night coming up with a plan to go. However A very wise friend of mine told me that a baby is life changing, and there is a long adjustment period. She said don't make any life changing decisions in the first year as it does get better. And she was correct! DH is awesome with DD1 now. We are much happier and relaxed and realise our life is on ice for a little bit whilst we raise these awesome little girls. I think talking is crucial. Once you go into yourself it's over. We had a huge conversation one night about splitting up and what we do if it happened (I was devastated) anyway we decided to work on things including sex life and within a couple of weeks i was pregnant. I don't advocate it but it's truly saved our relationship to be honest. We took it as a sign from someone to get it together and work on it.
That said, your situation could be totally different to mine so don't feel bad if it doesn't resonate.
I also miss mum so much. Especially when people are talking about theirs 😢 big hugs. It's healthy to talk to other mums, more often than not you're not alone in your feelings.

I'm going to try update properly soon but G is almost crawling, is addicted to food, but still feeds every two hours at night 😴 oh and she was six months this week!! Time is flying!!! Quite pleased want spring to arrive.

Hope you're all well 🙌

Anna, you always have such wise words. Such good advice, not to make any life-changing decisions.
The only thing I'd tweak is about withdrawing into yourself/himself: I agree that it can be disastrous, but equally I do think it's possible to recover from it. Certainly I feel DH are (fingers crossed) pretty much back on track after a massive and near-terminal withdrawal for several months last year. It's definitely true that communication is key - those first few difficult conversations are horrible, but they're so much more constructive than silence.
I'm so glad things have worked out for you two, Anna.
And I hope you feel better soon xx

Primary, that's great that things are getting back on track for you and DP too. You've had to put up with a lot xx

Jasper on the swings. Best Thing Ever.

You're totally right julf I meant if you don't get out of it and don't want to get out of it.
It's just so hard having babies and keeping your relationship on track. After a year it does start to get better!

Gorgeous Jasper on the swings!!!

Well Ben has decided he likes his food too much and has now dropped to just 3 bottles a day! It is lovely though because DD goes up to bed at 7ish and Ben has his milk and is up to bed at about 7.30. Ive got my evenings back and don't have to sit under a sleeping baby until I go up to bed.

I had success with my first home cooked meal for Ben too, he had cauliflower, broccoli and green bean cheese for tea and loved it. It's one of DD's favourites so it fed both of them with enough for 4 meals for the freezer. I'm trying to save money as the jars/pouches work out so expensive!

Indians Hallie is so cute, loving the bus romper! I love it when they get an orange face when eating. Too cute!

Oh my, gorgeous baby pics!!!!

Anna - honestly, what a year you've had! I'm in awe of your resilience and positivity xx such good advice too.

How you doing blue?

I really miss my mum and my Gran, think you really feel it with a baby, especially when that initial post birth help is gone. We've been on our own since he was 6 weeks old. MiL came (bless her) when I had I hadsuch horrid mastitis that I was sent to A&E but generally cancels her visits if she's coming to help. I don't blame her, her daughter (DH's sister) had a baby girl in October and lives in Paris so they are her priority. I just feel the exhaustion builds up and we've basically been ill since before xmas. Soooo looking forward to spring!

Mo still not really taking solids....we keep going back with colds or teething when he's started going on hunger strike and won't even take the boob - unheard of up to now! hes also now totally co-sleeping as he couldn't breathe so we had to sleep with him propped up on us. He now won't go down in the cot at all...Argh!!!!!

Eh dear, moan over. So sorry I've bit replied individually - will try to later. Lovely reading about the babies and keeping up with all your news. Amazing to think of us all this time last year! Xx

becks that recipe sounds delish! Do you purée it up for Ben? X

indians - that hair! Hallie is a beaut x

Cheery I did roughly blend it so it still had a bit of texture. I had also cooked the veg until it was soft. I just add any veg I've got in the house. Bolognaise is next on my list. In sainsburys you can buy tiny pasta shapes so I'll get them to add to the sauce. Again it's one of DD's favourites so it'll be portioned up for the freezer.

In sure Mo will get the hang of solids soon. They say food for fun until they are one so there's no pressure. Milk is the most nutritious thing they can have. It's hard when they are poorly and don't want anything. Hopefully he'll be in the men's soon.

Ah thanks becks for recipes and reassurance! Xx

Hello ladies!!!

Hello!

Are those your legs, Becks? 😂

Urgh sorry you've had the lurgy Anna are you feeling better now? Nothing worse than feeling unwell but having to be responsible for small people too.
Julf looks like J's enjoying the swinging! We tried the slide too the other day but E was non plussed.

Hallie looks so different now Indians, the hair is still amazing but she looks a lot less like a baby now. Growing up far too fast.

Becks I'm sure E is ready to drop to 3 bottles too but I don't know whether to gradually reduce the amount or just skip it out one day. How did Ben drop his, was it his last feed or a daytime one? Making homemade baby meals will save you soooo much money compared to pouches. We've been trying to adapt our meals and blitzing them up however E doesn't seem to like my cauliflower cheese so I might have to send some on for Ben! We've got some sainsburys little alphabet pasta which he loves or orzo pasta is great too.

Awwww lovely pictures too! Mo is looking well cheery, I think you've had your fair share of colds to deal with.

Sunday he just dropped it himself we were doing bottles at 8,1:30,6 and 9 and meals at 9,12 and 4:30. He started taking more and more food then on sat night refused his 6pm bottle wouldn't take any at all, he kept going until 7.45 then took 8oz and was fine slept well and woke at 7 the next day. I thought I'll just go with it and he has been fine, I've stretched the 1:30 bottle til 2 pm and evening meal til 5, last bottle now is 7:30 then straight to bed.

Julf thankfully not my legs, but I'm maybe not too far off in the winter!! It's DH with his very mature monster claw slippers!! and DD's foot!!

I really need to sort and label the contents of my freezer better. Fed E what I thought was homemade apple puree with his porridge this morning, turned out to be mashed parsnip! Greedy guts still ate the parsnipy porridge

Becks our feeding routine is fairly similar. Solids at 8, 12 and 7 (he eats with us in the evening) and bottles at 8.30, 2, 6 and 8.30pm ish. He wouldn't have his 6pm bottle the other day so I gave him extra tea and he was fine. I could try stretching the 2pm bottle until 3pm and give him his tea earlier. I'm not in a hurry to drop milk feeds but I'm sure he drinks them out of habit sometimes rather than being hungry. Am going to the HV soon so will see what they say- mine are very good actually.