July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

Tams - yes thanks, am feeling really relaxed about going out (which is good, because our apartment is pretty "cosy"!). Breastfeeding isn't always the easiest/most comfortable experience, but I'm getting there. How are you finding your expeditions?

Ruby - great sleeping skillz! Congratulations!
That cake of yours looks delish!
I'm London-based but wouldn't rule out coming to the Bath meet-up as well as the London one. (I think the Edinburgh one might be pushing it though.!)
Yep am getting my norks out all over the place nowadays. Went into Nando's this afternoon because Jasper needed a change and a feed in the middle of my supermarket trip (no loos in the supermarket 😕). £2.50 ain't too bad for unlimited Fanta, excellent (and handsome) waiter service, and some peace and quiet for a feed.

Becks - what a chirpy chap!

Sausage - hope your dh pulls his socks up... Are you enjoying your hol apart from that? Whereabouts in Greece 🇬🇷 are you? (My phone 📱 has developed a new enthusiasm for inserting symbols into my text.)

Primary - good work on your successful swim sesh.
Your Fil / stepMil sitch sounds like a nightmare. Stay strong!

Beaut - aren't there others here based in/near the midlands?
Great news re MB's sleep - well done Momma! I know what you mean to the relentless need for entertainment during the day, and having to do chores at super-speed during tiny fragments of quiet moments!
Fingers crossed re your DH's next job. Btw did he ever get any compensation for his van break-in all those months ago?

Bluebell / Tams - loving the axe-murderer chat!

Bluebell - glad you enjoyed the video 😄

Cookies 🍪- cold mince - yuck 😝

Cookies/Primary - Glad I'm not the only one enjoying a couple of drinks whilst breastfeeding. It's important to relax and enjoy ourselves as much as we can. As they say: "Happy mummy, happy baby".

Jasper isn't enjoying his Calpol I don't know why; personally I think it's delicious.

I had my friend round the other day and she gave me a book called "what mothers do" by Naomi Stadlen. I was sceptical based on the title and front cover blurb, but it's really interesting. I'd highly recommend it. A brilliant morale-booster if you often find yourself replying to the "what did you do today" question with "erm, not much". The bit that I've read so far talks about how, even though on surface-level our day has only involved (for example) going for a walk, posting a letter, and having coffee with a new mummy friend, in reality we've been really busy bonding with our baby, teaching him about relationships, teaching him about social norms, helping him develop his social skills, establishing his friendship network, soothing him during times of distress, showing him the world around him, helping him develop his coordination, exchanging parenting techniques with a peer etc etc etc. And all of those things are enormously valuable, time-consuming, challenging, and exhausting, and therefore shouldn't be dismissed as being "not much". I think the book will particularly resonate with / help the career-minded amongst you who might feel that the value/challenge of your role as a mother is (by many people) undervalued compared with the value/challenge of your professional role.

That's all, folks

Has anyone done a painting of baby footprints? I'm thinking of doing it for my parents for Christmas. I know you can do these things as a paid activity (where they make a plate/bowl/mug of your baby's footprints), but I don't know if they would want kitchenware, or whether it's necessary to do it as a paid activity. I was thinking I could just do it myself on paper/card and then get it framed. But then I'm not sure if they'd want a framed picture of baby footprints! Hmmm. Anyway, has anyone else been thinking about this? I'd welcome any views/experiences- thanks!

Julfin my cousins made Christmas cards with her little boys hand and foot prints. I think the foot print was Santas sleigh and the hand print was a reindeer. That looked really cute and something they could keep without paying out loads?

Great idea - thanks Becks!

Hope everyone's had a nice weekend!

julf we did silk clay hand and footprints when he was a week old, and I'm really glad we did them! His feet are so much bigger already!

This is no good for grandparents, but I saw a lovely thing on Pinterest where they'd put the dad's handprint in one colour, overlaid it with mum's print in a different colour, then finally baby's print on top. I was thinking of doing it for Ruben's nursery.

Pretty tired here as ru has a cold and is crying a lot because of it. Poor little sausage. His daddy drove me coconuts tonight, too - but it's just because I'm tired and I think we did quite well at not losing our tempers! DH has been on a course all weekend, yesterday evening and much of Friday evening too, and I must say I've found it pretty tough. I really need those couple of hours in the evening where I am not solely responsible! Hats off to single mums; you are total champions.

I did some serious kitchen sorting today in my endless and futile bid to become an Organised Person. We've got bloody annoying weevils in all our cupboards so I am putting EVERYTHING packety in Kilner jars so that the little fuckers have nothing to eat. An expensive but very satisfying solution.

I am feeling awfully frumpy, ladies. I have booked a haircut for a fortnight's time and am going to get a heavy fringe cut in even though that is a terrible idea as we are heading towards winter and I know full well that I will be fighting a constant battle against the damp making it wavy. I am considering getting an ombre dip dye type thing done as well, but I am scared that it will inevitably look totally crap on me and will be a waste of money. Ahhhhhhh I am always so disappointed when I get my hair done. I always hope it will turn me into Zoey deschanel and it never ever does!!!

julf i know I said on Facebook but I do love the footprint idea.. even in a frame as a gift grandparents love it. A friend of mine has arranged for some of to make personalised pottery Christmas decorations with our little ones. My norks are out everywhere too these days.
I've got such a taste for drinking this weekend I've had more than I probably should.. even pumped&dumped and substituted with a bottle of formula. Oops. Happy mama indeed though!
The book sounds great! I remember feeling like this after my first- from being in a full time management roll who went on about 'time management' everyday .. to not being able to get out before lunchtime!

All this talk of teeth!!

sophie hope you're having a great holiday minus the frustrations. I love Greece so so much. Which part are you staying in?

Wow bluebell you sound like you're nearly there already with those stats! I've never had a 25 inch waist If it was me I would drive! That said I'm a bit of a public transport snob and with children it's much more stressful! They need so much kit!!

beaut has MB kept up the sleeping? We have regressed here and I'm blaming a growth spurt but I'm not sure.

Evening all
So lovely hearing your news. oH away all last week in the states and I just got buried under babies who then got sick (Ted gets a viral wheeze so has a baby ventolin) and passed it on to me, lost my voice and then - to my absolute horror - lost all sense of taste (food not style ho ho) so was knackered, ill, stressed and couldn't even eat choc to unwind galaxy style. Or rather I could but what's the point if you can't taste it? Jeez. Bah.
Let's hope next week ok. Got baby swim too here for Ted and I must sign up Claudia. She's doing so well & has such a clear gaze, I'm excited as to what her life will be like.
Settling in nicely in the new house. How's yours Anna? And Dats's kitchen? Sounds like a cookery show. Speaking of which bluebell, what classes for your man? Interested to hear.
Still figuring out a 40th present for moi as OH hasn't bought me anything yet and we're six weeks later! Maybe could combine with Xmas for the motherlode of gifts.
Night night

Bluebell - I love the idea of overlaying the handprints! How cute!
So sorry to hear that little Ru is unwell. Poor little thing. Hope he recovers soon.
Well done you for coping when DH was away. It's tough not to be able to take a break. Mine's away now for a few days, but my wonderful mother is coming to visit, so I'll be able to have some me-time during the days. Haven't even thought about what I'll do with it! Definitely a run and maybe a massage - the one-handed baby-holding is taking its toll... Might paint my nails too. I agree it's a challenge not to become frumpy. Enjoy your hair appointment! I've got mine this week too.
What an arse re the evil weevils. Grim. I had stored-product moths a few years ago - lots of maggotty things and winged fuckers in all the kitchen cupboards. I just threw everything out - very expensive but worth doing as the little critters were crawling all over everything . Well done you for all the tidying/sorting. Amazing how we can summon the energy to do these things.

Elliz - really lovely to hear from you. So sorry you've been ill - how miserable. Are you better now? Glad the new house is going well.
Not sure that I clocked your 40th before. Happy belated birthday! How about a nice pampering session? Mind you, for a 40th it's nice to have something you can keep. For DH's 40th I got him a few things befitting a chap in his 40s e.g. a nice smart shaving set and a trilby hat 😄 Is there a female equivalent?

Cookies - glad you had a fun 🍷weekend! Good to let your hair down. I've been stocking up the freezer with milk for such an occasion 😄 My mum has agreed to babysit on fireworks night, so that might be a big one...

I've bought a cheapo pumpkin hat for Jasper. Can't wait to put him in it! I managed to resist a full-on pumpkin suit 😉

Julf, cookies we are in Rhodes, we got married out here a couple of years ago so we know exactly what we're coming to!

We only just stayed within luggage allowance but Sophie was surprisingly good on the plane, totally expected four hours of screaming

Sophie has slept well overnight out here, feeding at 11-12 and then not waking til the light starts coming in the room at 7. Dh has suggested at home we feed at 10pm, put down to sleep and leave her to cry if she wakes before 7am!! She's 12 weeks! I am trying to work out where he's getting all these daft ideas from but I'm at a loss. He also thinks that she said mum yesterday. Muppet.

If any of you are planning on coming abroad I'd suggest possibly bringing your own travel cot as the one we were originally given had two squares of foam and a towel stuffed in as the mattress it! Ridiculous.

Morning!

Just trying to catch up as had a really busy weekend!

eliz how are you? Poorly babies are such hard work. House is a tip!! Something has to give with two young kids and it's my ability to clean and tidy up. I've decided I'll tackle it next year when things calm down! Re present... what are you into? I would get a really nice handbag but they're my weak spot! Maybe jewellery, nice coat, show tickets, weekend away? I'm taking DH to Rome for his next year!

Sophie bless you. I think becoming a parent is really overwhelming but from everyone I know women seem to take to it a bit quicker. DH was a bit useless with my first but now hes brilliant and he can read me much better. I.e he can tell when I need a break or help. We found it so hard with our first as she didn't sleep so it was a huge strain on us but we got through it! I hope you're having a lovely time! We are planning on going to Spain in April and hopefully Asia and aus next November.

cookies good for you! I had a couple glasses of prosecco sat night. I'm such a cheap date felt really pissed! I know some people prefer not to drink when feeding but I've done quite a bit of research and it's such a minimal amount. Sounds shallow but if I couldn't enjoy a glass every so often I'd quit feeding much sooner!

Oh blue I hope he's better soon. Get a saline spray for his nose. They are excellent to help them when they're blocked up.

Thank you sunday we got given gaviscon but it's a bloody nightmare! Great if theyre on a bottle but I've got to try get 30mls of it into her and she just spits it out. They said we could try ranitidine if this doesn't work so hoping to get some tomorrow! I'm glad it's worked for you. I'm just desperate for her to be put down without crying.

blue, primary well done on the weight loss! I've had loads on so been eating crap! I've also been feeling a bit low so been comfort eating!!!

Took Grace with me to get my hair done on sat. Never again!!! It wasn't the relaxing experience it normally is! I'll be getting someone to help me next time! But I'm super happy with it and feeling a bit nicer!
Then had my cousin over for the night and nailed an Indian! Yesterday we had a christening which was really nice. DD1 had a whale of a time! I ate cake lol!

Been feeling a bit down about my mum. It's been 2.5 months now and think it's really starting to hit me. It's my bday in a week and a half and I just don't care less. I'm not the biggest bday person in the world anyway but feel even less so this year. My friends and DH are pushing me to do stuff but I'd quite happily sit in my pjs watching films with chocolate and my girls!

Hope everyone else is ok? Starting to cool down a bit now. Excited about winter hats for the girls (loser) x

Sunday - yeah I did an extra weigh on Sunday and apparently I had put on 3lbs since Friday?! Me thinks my scales might be a crock of shit. And mine are digital!

Sophie - grrrr, I hope the holiday gets better. I've only been to Greece once and I loved it. Greek salad... Mmmm! Even ouzo is nice somehow in that Greek sunshine...

Tams - the train trip would be alone, otherwise DH could share driving and the car journey wouldn't be an issue because there would always be someone in the back with Ruben. Seven trains!!!!!! I've done that going from home down through France before - couldn't imagine doing it with baby. Wow!

Julf - yay! Come and join our axe murderer meet-up! The parenting book sounds great; I might have a look and see if I can get a copy when I venture out today for my own spot of 'showing Ruben the world around him' (going out to drop off a load of crap at the charity shop and buy a load more crap to replace it, because somehow there is always more stuff to buy...)

Food moths must have sucked. I would have chucked everything as well. I don't mind kneading the odd weevil into my dough, but maggots? Ugh. We had clothes moths just before we got married and it was AWFUL. I lost my entire (expensive) stash of wool.

Glad your mum is coming to help out. I actually went to the in laws' on Saturday and although they had their own jobs to do it was nice to have the company. Plus MIL handed me ru when I was in the bath and took him away again when he was washed so that I could have a soak. Is it weird to be cool about being naked in front of your husband's mum? I feel like my perception of my body has totally changed since having Ruben. No longer shy and prudish!

Cookies - Yeah I'm not sure I'm ever going to see that teeny tiny waist again! It will become the stuff of legend, and I will be one of those women who say 'on my wedding day I had a 25 inch waist' while people look at them and think 'yeah right!' I did just find a pic of myself nearly 42 weeks pregnant though and good lord was my waist large then!!!! Isn't it weird? I just can't believe I was that big, and it was only a few weeks ago!

Elliz - poor babies and poor you! Although not being able to taste choc is probably quite handy for healthy eating...! The class I got for DH is an Italian one - all weird bits of meat and fabulous creamy cheese and fancy elegant puddings. It's only a one off evening class but I thought it would mean he doesn't have to sacrifice a weekend, and I liked the fact that he gets to do meaty things as I am vegetarian and that curtails his meat consumption somewhat. Happy belated 40th to you! Yeah do something that you really fancy - if it was me, I'd go on an advanced dessert or chocolate making course I think - something a bit frivolous!

Sophie - my DH also aeems to think that at 12 weeks we can start sleep training! No way. Luckily Ru is now doing a 7 - 9 hour stretch most nights so there's no need anyway.

Anna - ta for the saline spray tip, I shall get some on my 'showing Ruben the world' excursion ;) Regarding your birthday - do what makes you happy. I remember my first birthday without my mum hit quite hard because I suddenly realised I was never going to get a birthday present from her again - ridiculous maybe, but it just felt so lonely. Christmas also sucked, I remember, but my brother and I spent Christmas Day afternoon watching an ancient version of Little Women and somehow it ended up being a really lovely memory - see, I still remember what we watched 12 years later! TV and the sofa sounds excellent to me. Hugs to you my lovely xxx

Okay so if anyone is worrying about their house being unclean, you can stop now, because I win the grubby contest. Moved a cushion on the Chesterfield sofa and discovered that two of the button holes are full of Ruben's mouldy vom! So that was a nice job this morning!!!!

So... the weigh in on Friday went well (not). Apparently a few days away and then having to polish off the bake off cake has put me back to 10 stone. Damn it!

Apologies if this post is a bit me-centred, but am stressed. All sorts of stuff has changed at once and I don't know what to do...
Two weeks ago I was happily expressing 100-150ml in the morning, and doing 1 in-1 out with the freezer stash when DH feeds H in the evening. Since last Mon I'm getting 50ml max and the stash is rapidly depleting - any ideas what that's all about?
Secondly, since the mega sleep, H has been regularly sleeping from 11ish to 4ish, feeding (briefly) and then sleeping until 7ish. Great, but then he wakes up and has absolutely no interest in feeding. Today, he's had 2/3 feeds of 3-5mins since 7am. Seems like so little?
On top of this, he's got a cold, so am worried that he's going to get dehydrated.
And, when weighed for the first time in 4 weeks last Thurs, he'd dropped from 25th to 9th centile.

Plenty of nappy action, he's alert and happy, getting more and more active... but feeding less. What's going on?! Is this just a 3 month thing? When do I worry properly?

Ruby, I would talk to your health visitor. I have no idea what is normal - I'm so sorry I can't be of more use! I'm sure it's fine as H sounds like he's doing brilliantly, but I think if you are worrying then the best thing you can do is speak to a health professional. Xx

So this weekend went well, a nice sort of chaos! Kids were fab with Annie - both of dp's parents are only children so it's lovely for him to see Annie with so many aunties and uncles :) him and his brother are like flipping children though - have attached a picture which sums up the weekend!

Ruby - it could be that h is just better at getting the milk out now, Annie is having less and shorter feeds but still putting on weight. If he seems happy and content I wouldn't worry too much. No idea about expressing though as I don't bother because she won't take a bottle. Plenty of ladies on here who are fab with expressing advice though.

Bluebell - I was always a massive prude, didn't even like being exposed in front of dh but labour and breastfeeding have totally changed my relationship with my body. I don't care anymore, particularly feeding in public - it's almost like I'm proud of my body for producing a baby so well and for keeping Annie so well fed!

Elliz - me and Annie have got the cold from hell, it's shit. I've comfort ate my way through biscuits for the last 48 hours. Hope it goes soon!

Anna - oh bless you. No advice as I've never had to go through losing a parent or grandparent yet. It must be awful :( lots of newborn snuggles for you! The first 'milestones' must be the hardest
I hope dh can plan something that will make you really happy! Are you going to visit her grave or anything in the day?

Sophie - what useless advice from dh! Some Men are incredible!! I'd sit him down with a list of parenting websites and chain him to the chair until he's read them all!

And yes - that is dp and his brother play fighting while his sister attempts to give one of them a wedgie....

ruby if nappies are ok then he could just be off food due to the cold. Keep an eye on him and take to GP/HV if worried. I always remember taking dd1 to GP as she had a temp but was otherwise fine. I felt like a tear wasting time but he said to me 'we always want you to bring a baby in if you don't think they're right. That's what we are here for'. Reassured me loads and now I don't hesitate. How is he now? X

Primary - glad you had a lovely weekend - you deserved it!

Just had a really special moment in Tesco. Thought my trolley had a handy front compartment, although the main bit had a weird cage part over the top. Turns out I had two trolleys stuck together. The cage was the flap pushed up by the second trolley. I only realised when I came to check out.

I realised two minutes before the checkout lady did. When she mentioned it I then pretended I knew I had two stuck together but couldn't get them apart. She came round and separated them for me, so I looked like a fool anyway!

Thankfully I had Ruben in a sling so immediately claimed baby brain. Agh.

Anna - I'm sorry you've been feeling low. You've got such a lot going on. Big hugs. I'm sure if you tell your DH/friends that you don't want to do anything elaborate for your birthday, they'll understand. Great that your DH is more on-the-ball than with your last baby.
Ooh, Rome, Spain, Asia and Australia - nice to have those to look forward to. Well deserved! We went to Rome for our babymoon - had a really lovely time.
Great that you enjoyed your prosecco 😊and your curry, and that you're pleased with your hair. I don't think there's any way I could keep Jasper happy for the length of time it takes to have my hair done (there's a lot of it, and a lot of greys!) so I'll only be getting it done when my mother or DH can look after him. Starting this Wednesday - can't wait! 😊
Yes, weather was much cooler today, but really hot when standing in the sun! Went to the park with my mum and we were constantly taking layers off and on again!

Sausage - Rhodes, how lovely! Hope DH sorts it out... Great tip re the travel cot, thanks. We're planning to travel round North America for a month in February. No idea how we're going to do that! 😳

Bluebell - I haven't been able to drink ouzo since "that night" in 2002...
"Showing Ruben the world around him" - ha! Hope he was suitably impressed 😉
Enjoy your weevil bread 😄
Re nudity, I have abandoned any sense of dignity that I once had!
Mouldy vom - mmmmm...

Ruby - if you're getting plenty of wet nappy action, and he's alert, then I don't think you need to worry. It has been (on the whole) cooler recently, so maybe he's just not as thirsty. But if you're worried, it's definitely better to see the GP/HV than not.
Re expressing, I've had much more success since I started only feeding J from the same side for the evening feed and night feed. Then in the morning I express on the full side while feeding him again on the emptier side. He seems perfectly satisfied with this arrangement, and I can express lots more milk.

I'll catch up on the post-lunchtime traffic later/tomorrow!

11w & 4d

Ruben slept through!!!!!

I didn't though. Two bras and two tops in the wash due to milk leakage...

Excellent news bluebell, well done Ru

H didn't really feed until 2pm yesterday, and then carried on as usual for the rest of the day. Woke up more than usual in the night (which, for once, I was quite happy with!), but still wasn't bothered much this morning. But I think he's absolutely fine and this is probably just another phase. The problem is, it's the HV that got never into a panic: "well, he has dropped on the chart, and we wouldn't want this to be the start of a downward trend...".
I wish they'd choose their words more carefully, or maybe I need to stop over-analysing?!

Thank you Anna for telling me that story, absolutely will take him in if properly worried. Staying in with your girls sounds like a lovely Birthday, sometimes we all need to take a little bit of time to enjoy and appreciate what we have, and remember those that we had.

primary - good to hear that the weekend was fun, great photo!

anna Thats totally understandable about your mum and your birthday. Don't feel pressured to do things you don't want to. Sending hugs and do what makes you happy. I totally feel the same about drinking & feeding. I get some judging looks but I don't care! Glad your new hair is making you feel great. Getting my nails done etc has never been the same since having children.. never an enjoyable experience!

sophie we went to Rhodes for our honeymoon, it's our favourite place we've ever been to. So jealous right about now! Great news about the flight , we were put off Greece for our next holiday thinking 4 hours was sure to entail screaming! Stupid husband comments! How can they be so useless sometimes?!

julf yay to you venturing West Country. Your mamma sounds like such a gem, so happy for you she's coming to lend a hand. Can I borrow her?! You're good for stocking up the freezer, I keep saying I'm going to and never do : I'm fighting all temptation to not buy a pumpkin outfit...

Nice to hear from you elliz but not so to hear of your rotten week. I think the galaxy is now very much deserved, is hubby back now?

bluebell hope he's better soon - hugs to you both. I was in great shape on my wedding day and that was post two babies! Infact my waist was probably the smallest it had been like ever.. If that fills you with any hope? I'm sure you look great- my waist is much bigger than 28!! Massive lols to the trolley story, definitely claim baby brain on that one!

Question : any recommendations for a video monitor? Reviews for all of them are so mixed. Not really wanting to spend £100+ as this is our last baby.. have looked into a wifi video one that would link up to my phone.. however our wifi is crap. Like crapper than crap. But would save a lot of money! Ahhh. Need ASAP as I want G to start going to bed at 7 when the older ones do and our house is 3 levels so want the reassurance.

Ruby - can you take H to a clinic to get weighed every couple of weeks so that you keep an eye on it? Ru hasn't been weighed for a month (tho he will be today for his 12 week check) but if I was worried I think that is what I would do. The thing is you won't know if it's a downward trend without further measurements, so weighing is probably the most you can do at this point. But I don't think you should weigh more frequently than fortnightly - that is what I was told. And keep reminding yourself that everything else about him seems fine!

Cookies - yes that gives me hope, thank you! I am going to get in touch with the gym today and book a few personal trainer sessions as in worried about exercising wrong post c-section. Plus if I book sessions then I'll have to actually go, haha! Regarding monitors, we got an Avent one because BIL has it and it's been really good - but it was £100 so no good for you I'm afraid. We haven't actually used it yet because we just keep Ruben near us. However now that I don't have to go to bed at 8pm in order to get enough beauty sleep (!!), that may change...

Ru did another 9 hour stretch last night, which was helpful as I now have his cold. It's daddy duty tomorrow - I am sooooo looking forward to some time to myself.

Anyone else having wacky dreams still? Mine last night involved Haruki Murakami, book origami, and driving a BMW badly down a hill on a hairpin turn...

(And given that I've only read one Haruki Murakami book ten years ago and HATED it, I have no idea why I am suddenly dreaming about him!)

Omg bluebell yes me!! Have had some bizarre dreams over the last couple of nights.. thought it was sleep deprivation but maybe it's a postnatal thing??