November 2014 - the one where they answer back.

[MrsAukerman]

New thread.
Hop aboard.

Lol no. Due tomorrow & it could be another 2 bloody weeks let's face it!

Have gone from"get it out of me" to "let it stay in till DS is over this cold"

He's riddled since about Tues, and the night before last I was literally in to him every hour. Like he was a newborn! No thanks! Last night was a bit better, only twice in though. He's still cranky and clingy and full of snot and it's going to be a long weekend!

Oh and he's conking out at 6.45pm each evening so he's up at 6.15am!

I know conditions will never be ideal for bringing home a second one - but I'd prefer them to be a bit easier than this!

Anna that's not too bad from 7pm till 6am. If it's of any consolation DD wakes most of mornings at 6.15, but she only goes to bed around 9pm. When DH cousin made a comment about link between little sleep and intellect, I was close to punch her...

Yeah dd only sleeps 7.30 to 6.15 (although it was 5.15 this morning). Managed to get the new boots on her. Slipped the boots on while she played on the ipad, then 'hid' the shoes in the top of her bag so she 'found' them and put them on herself.

Wow, Anna, due already! Hope your Ds is over his cold soon.
Back from our holiday, it was lovely. Weather ok, but just spending time as the three of us was lovely. Ds loved going blackberry picking, and we went every evening. Also, he slept through, every night, without a dummy!
We're OK with shoes, though it did take him a while to get happy in wellies!

Anna I'd be chuffed to bits with that sleeping pattern - 11 hours!!! Here we get dot on 10 hours - which is generally 7.15ish to 5.15ish... However, must admit that for some reason, the last 3 days we've been granted a lie-in until 6! - I have to keep creeping to her door to check she's still breathing! Think it maybe due to starting in the Toddler room at nursery: she absolutely loves it but comes home shattered.

We're on day 1 of our holiday (Cornwall). And she's asleep! . Felt sure she wouldn't fit in the cot they supply here (we've gone self-catering), but yep, she seems ok. Put her to bed at 6.55, had to go in twice to reassure her, and by 7.10 she was asleep . Am really hoping to get another lie-in as I've got a stinking cold...

So yesterday was first day without the sun and today DD has been with cold and high fever, all too dizzy to walk around for too long. She had few bright breaks after having had a nap, but soon enough would again feel very tired and ill. Wasn't it supposed to be a much better winter this year after the dreadful first winter of bugs in the nursery? We have our annual holidays booked for October and November and I start to worry that DD probably will be down with the fever when we are due to go, so we will end up cancelling it all, wasting piles of money and instead of chilling on holiday will be at home looking after an ill toddler.

Melodramatic much strawberry it'll all be fine! Where are you going on holiday(s)?
DD and her whole room at nursery have streaming colds at the moment. I am putting it down to the fact that a bunch of kids have just come up from the baby room and are sharing some new germs. Think she's on the mend now though. Not complaining too much though as she has had a couple of epic 3 hour naps while under the weather! Just need her canines to come through I can't wait til she stops dribbling and chewing on her hand!!

Good luck with everything anna, can't wait to hear all the news.

No news here. You can imagine how chipper I am....

Anyway, DS is over his cold and is sleeping through till about 6.50 again, his usual time. So we're very relieved. But of course when one problem is solved another starts!

Yesterday he had a flaming hysterical meltdown going into nursery. For no reason. Apparently (DH brought him) even the owner came out and said "we can't have this, the other kids will get upset". Well after many years he settled down with much distraction and DH was able to slither away. But poor DH was in bits afterwards! I rang the place and of course DS was right as rain, all forgotten. Very traumatic for us though.

So this morning I brought him around. Shoved his favourite car in his hand and his dummy in his mouth. But still..... sure enough he wouldn't go further than the foyer. He was happy there but if I took a step towards the room he shrieked. It took 20 mins in the foyer before he could be persuaded to enter the room calmly! I literally had to sidle towards the room without him noticing like I was tricking a stray dog into following me.

Anyway, improvement on yesterday as no tears this time and the other kids were unaffected, but WTF???

Its a transition thing and I know it's normal.....but are we going to have this effort every day now? Has any of yours had this and what did you do?

We really don't need this morning drama this week of all weeks!

That is pretty shit from the owner?!! She knows he is not even two years old right, has she met a toddler before!!!! Are the staff helping at all or are they leaving it up to you to get him in the room? At ours kids having a meltdown being coaxed in / jollied along by staff is a regular sight at drop off. IMO the staff should be helping out - a bit of OTT jolliness "Oh guess what we've got to play with today?" goes a long way and I think it really helps when it's not mum or dad doing it.

That said, I'm sure it's a phase and it'll pass soon enough. Can you talk to the staff and find out if anything out of the ordinary happened the last time he was in? Could be something completely minor but might have put him off. Alternatively can he bring in a special toy from home to show the nursery staff, would that get him going? Realise that might cause other problems though!

moggle you are right, I've been a drama queen we are going to Portugal in October and visiting my family in November.
DD only had fever on Saturday after all, but she still has croacky voice, doesnt help with sleep at all.

Anna so sorry about the arse of the nursery owner. DD is going through periods of crying at the drop off, they come and go, but the staff are great in distracting her. In fact they prefer us leaving asap if she kicks off because us staying and trying to calm her down only prolongs performance. She would calm down but only till I try to leave again, so it just makes sense to leave. And she is always ok 3 minutes later.

The owner just rang me at home! She wasn't there this morning and said that she had just rang in to work to check how DS was and he was fine. So why was she ringing me?

She did say she knew DH was very upset leaving yesterday so I suspect she was firefighting a bit in case we were getting the hump or thought they were remiss. But who knows? Maybe it was also feeling out whether she needed to recommend him not attending for a while but I headed that one off by basically saying that I thought it was a phase, and we were ok to spend time in the foyer every morning till he grew out of it. No way am I paying 9 grand a year for them to tell me not to come in!

His key worker was off the last two days but is back tomorrow. That might help as the interim one is a limp wet fish.

But I suspect it's broader than nursery. I was saying before he won't take his shoes or coat off when he comes home. He freaks at sudden transitions from Place A to Place B and even coming home will freak as soon as he realises he's in our hallway and the door is closing behind him. He's ok after 10 mins but he's like bloody gelignite in the meantime.

So we literally have to wait half an hour to attempt to take his coat off. They have noticed that in nursery too after he's been playing outside.

Not sure how to "fix" this or if it's even fixable, tbh. Or if it's just a stage. God what if it's not a stage???

My younger brother was always very anti new situations as a kid. Even now if we suggest meeting up somewhere neither of us have been before you can sense him getting a bit antsy about it, and he gets quite stressed about things like moving house, or new jobs. We moved a fair amount as children with Dad's job and he really struggled, Mum now looks back and says that while she labelled him as a difficult child it was all down to the repeated upheaval. (He's a totally normal awesome guy now with a wife and daughter!!)
Anyway!! All I can suggest is maybe repeating what you are doing like a mantra before you do it. So at home from when you get him up you are saying "We're having breakfast now, and then you can watch TV for a bit (or whatever you do) and then we'll go to nursery and you'll see so-and-so." "Now you can go and watch TV, and in ten minutes we'll get our coats and shoes on and we'll walk to nursery and you can see so-and-so". "In a minute we're going to put our coats and shoes on and go to nursery" "Right it's time to put our shoes and coat on so that we can walk to nursery and you can see so and so" ... ad infinitum until you are ready to shoot yourself in the head!!!

To be honest Anna I was quite impressed how easy your DS settled in the nursery. Ok, DD was only 12 months when she started, but first weeks she refused to eat there and spent awful lot of time snuggled up with key workers. I still remember with a tremor one december Friday afternoon I went to pick DD up. Fridays are rather quiet there, the room had lights off, one of the staff was sat on the floor in the corner with DD sleeping on her, no other kids around. She said DD had been quite down and sad all day and only wanted to cuddle. Might be normal for other kids, but for DD who doesnt even want to hold my hand walking down the street... Your DS joined fairly recently, so he might still be in the phase of settling in, the nursery just need to pull their weight and do what they get paid for. Of course, its easier to tell the parents leave the child at home, but it hardly is a solution.

Yes DS does like to lull us into a false sense of security! He's a very happy adaptable chap, and he likes other people. Never makes strange which means relatives that have never met him before are charmed when he clambers on their lap showing them his book. And me and DH sharing smug smiles in the background "Look how easy he is" etc.

So shit like this happens out of the blue and we're WTAF??! It's so out of character! And it freaks us out!

That Friday must have been heartbreaking - I think I'd have cried, no lie.

Reading nursery stories with interest! Ds had his settling in sessions yesterday and today. Day 1, tears, but he ate lunch and played. Today, absolute melt down on my leaving, and apparently he cried an awful lot, most of the two hours, I was gone. As I approached the nursery to collect him I could hear him crying. Nursery staff very nice, cuddling him etc, but God, it's heartbreaking. It's a full day tomorrow, I hope he'll be ok.

Feel so selfish and guilty... Trying not to cry!

Oh Anna sounds like normal nursery unsettleness and even when been fine for a while can happen ds2 is 22mths today been in nursery a yr now and have occasions of crying at drop off usually iif I do it as I do it once in a blue moon but its not pleasant our nursery (as did ds1 old nursery) take them off ypu to distract and expect you to go its easier for everyone even if you get in the car and cry on your way to work (and your distressed traumatized child stopped before you started the engine)because you feel guilty.

Porsmork you are not selfish in any way, probably quite the opposite. Sooner or later DS will have to start to make his own relationships without you present. Better it happens now in the nice nursery with attentive staff around than in the school where they might not have enough resources to comfort him too much. You will be surprised how soon he will realise that he can have awesome time in the nursery and will love going there. And you wanting some space back is not selfish at all. You have needs as well... But I do understand how you feel, I really do. You probably went away, had a lovely few hours to yourself and felt guilty enjoying it once you came back and heard him cry. Been there, done it... It is horrible. If it's of any help, right now the situation is quite the opposite. We usually are like clockwork on weekdays leaving the house at 7.20 and DD is in the nursery around 7.30. If some mornings we don't have to be early, about 7.40 she starts to bring over her shoes, my shoes, grab my hand and takes me to the door as if to say "hurry up!".
Just think about this as a temporary thing you have to get through for everybody's sake.

The nursery problem might be a developmental thing as many of us seem to be experiencing it at the same time. In the last couple of weeks my DD, who has always been so happy to go to nursery, has also started crying and clinging on to DH when he dropped her off. The first week that it happened her keyworker wasn't there in the mornings and it was the same other person there both days, so DH, who is prone to ridiculous ideas, decided she must have done something to DD to upset her, but the next week the keyworker was back and DD was still upset. Apparently this week was a bit better, and today the breakfast was out and she was easily distracted by weetabix!

The past couple of weeks she has been telling us she has pooed and pointing at her nappy, but mostly she hasn't pooed when she says that so I think she means she is telling us when she has done a wee, so I have bought a potty. I don't expect her to be potty trained any time soon though, I am just going to have it in the bathroom for now to try out at nappy changes and bath time etc and see how it goes.

happy DD says poo poo for a wee - I didn't realise until one day when she was nappyless, said "poo poo", I panicked, but she then did a wee. Explains all the times she was sayign poo poo but nothing visible in the nappy!
We have a potty upstairs and she likes to sit on it - like she does on any little seat / ledge / box etc that is the right height for her. She says poopoo and weewee while on it, but only has once done a poo on it once, much to both of our surprise! Gave her tons of genuine praise as I was so shocked but has never been repeated!

Yes today DS keyworker was back but it plainly wasn't that. I started telling him in the house that we'd put his shoes on and then we'd go to "school" and play with Ryan and Rachel and X and Y etc etc and he started crying then. So it was the very thought of it, it seems. He wanted to do something else, go to the park or something.

It could be part of this need they have at this age to control their world.

DH did what I did yesterday and spent 15 mins in the foyer edging towards the room so as not to kick DS off, and it did work in the end. Reluctance but no hysteria . And of course he's tip top as soon as he gets inside the room. We have decided that if we are calm enough and there's no drama or tears or a big production he'll eventually get over it. We have no choice anyway!

I'm 3 days over and just had a (very painful) failed sweep. So it looks like this is going to be just as late an arrival as DS was. Oh well.

Thinking of you Anna.

Strawberry, your comment was spot on. I feel terrible swanning off to have a day to myself, knowing he is upset, but I do know it's for the best, and that it's best in the long term. He was in pieces again this morning.

Happy, it does seem to be a developmental thing, doesn't it... Ds is very keen to involve me in play ALL the time, and just this week has taken a massive leap in imaginary play (he was pretending to read to his cuddly toys etc), so that social side is really coming out. So, I think he must be even more aware of being his own person, and therefore, being alone. He's screaming at bedtime too.

I'd gone for a run, cleaned the house, watched a film and finished a jumper I was knitting, all by 3pm. Haven't been sure what to do with myself these last couple of hours... Might go and pick him up a bit early!

Oh Anna , hopefully you won't be waiting too much longer...I was told that I'd be induced on my due date as a result of my age ....we'll see - but DD was 12 days overdue and don't fancy that again. Can't believe how obviously pregnant-looking I am so early on (12 weeks) - was never like this 1st time round

We're on holiday and have spent most of the time playing on the beach - not sure who is having the most fun: DD or DH

Sounds lovely haven't! How have you been feeling?

posmarck great to get some time for yourself back. As the others say, it will pass, I've also been there done that and DD2 was pretty hardcore. She ran over to play this morning when I dropped her off, she really likes it!

anna ouch, thinking about a sweep just made me cross my legs. You poor thing. I doubt this one will be as overdue though. Hope you can get a little bit of rest in the meantime. Do you have any childcare lined up for when you go into labour if it's not during the day?

I'm sure DS will settle in soon enough. It is horrible though. I was seriously considering giving up work for a while last autumn when DD2 was so unsettled and both kids were sick constantly. But strawberry is so right that this part is something you just have to get through and it will pay off in the end.

Runny noses all around here again - me, DD1 and DD2. Dh seems to have escaped. DD1 is coughing as well, I'm a bit worried as it's not all that long since she had the SF. I guess it's new school, new batch of germs...

Today I am regretting extended breastfeeding. I have had this terrible cough for 4 weeks now and it's not really getting better, then I had a terrible cold which is finally getting better, but my ears are now so bunged up that I am half deaf which is kind of inconvenient. I went to the pharmacy today and was told that there is nothing I can take for either the cough or the deafness that is compatible with breastfeeding :( Fed up of being ill now

happy if you are really fed up with it I did hear that taking Sudafed dries you up to the extent that the child gets narky and you can say "oops! They must have finished!'

I did take it when I had to put DS on Neocate and it does definitely work. Takes a while though. Mind you, I had a seriously distressing oversupply that was upsetting for both me + DS. (I probably should have used that to treat the oversupply and BFing might not have been so fraught - have it in the back of my mind this time round)

So it might be much quicker for you at this stage. And the child thinks it's decided itself to stop, iykwim .