November 2014 - the one where they answer back.

[MrsAukerman]

New thread.
Hop aboard.

Ha ha halfstar why wld they make a mess in own room ☺

My 2 either play lovely together or enjoy pissing each other off!

I don't force sorry and actually think at 2 its not understood and because a forced word so you get whack followed by sorry, kick followed by sorry as that's what becomes learnt we tend to go with that is not kind could you give a cuddle or a kiss if refused they are removed away from what they have done as a lesson.

That's a good question Anna, no idea to be honest... I guess try to wriggle out of the situation gracefully (easier said than done!). We haven't gone as far as saying sorry yet. It's still about please and thank you to be used consistently. DD can be really good with please and thank you, but then suddenly she forgets about manners and I have a toddler commanding "biscuiitteeeee!".

She is definitely not taking no for no. As soon as she get told no, there is a devilish smile and she obviously repeats the same thing. If this doesn't change any time soon I will end up being one of those nasty shouting mothers on the street.

Anna I remember there was a conversation about looking after ourselves after LO were born and you mentioned Caroline Hirons. At a time I quickly googled her and that's it, but last weekend I happened to watch one of her videos and got hooked. The comedy value of some of those videos! I'm sure her skincare advice is good as well... :)

I haven't really pushed DD to say sorry as I don't think she knows what it means. She sometimes says sorry for no apparent reason so I think she's heard us saying it but doesn't know why. If she hurts her sister or something, I try to get her to show she's sorry by giving her a hug for example.

She has become very independent and "I do it myself!" She announced tonight that she was going to wash her hair herself, but then had a screaming tantrum because I wouldn't let her walk up the stairs by herself and we gave up hair washing.

Because she wants to do everything her big sister does, she has started asking to use the toilet despite having never really used the potty. We still have a toddler seat for the toilet so I let her sit on it at bath time, then on Monday she kept saying "me need wee, go on toilet" so had a few tries throughout the day. Today I bought peppa pig pants, which were very popular, so tomorrow we will give them a try. No idea how it will work with the school run though. With DD1 we stayed at home until she was reasonably good, but we have to go out twice a day for 45 mins, longer if I let her walk, and I don't want the pushchair weed on because I don't think you can wash it.

She is always on about doing what DD1 can do: "when I bigger, I can xyz like DD1" e.g can go to school or swimming or Rainbows, can eat the bigger sugary kids' yoghurts rather the no added sugar fromage frais she gets now.

We're generally getting 'sorry' pretty quickly if ds is a bit silly about something. As I've said before, I think I'm going to have more trouble getting him to assert himself than have to tell him off for mis-behaving!
He's in a tough old spot this week. Really easily moved to tears (full on wailing), clingy, and saying 'no' to everything. I think it's partly teeth (he's got 3 molars coming in at once), a growth spurt (he's waking up starving hungry and usually can wait an hour or so for breakfast) and partly wanting to make choices for himself. It's frustrating when you've gone through a stack of 20 books and each one suggested is 'no'. I'm trying to do choices, but when both choices are a 'no' too, it drives me bananas. He was desperate to go to nursery this morning though, so I can relax knowing he'll be enjoying himself there and I can have some peace and quiet! Off to get a hair cut and trying to will myself to go for a run.

We also don't force a sorry. DD does say it a lot for the little accidents (bumping into us etc) but rarely when she actually does something wrong. But she knows she's done something wrong and we try and stay calm and explain what was wrong and why. The only thing that's difficult is the hitting, she only really hits me when she's frustrated and I start with asking for 'kind hands' and then saying I'm not going to let her hit me and moving her hands to then removing myself from the situation. She then kicks off for a minute or 2 and then I come back and explain why I walked away. So far hasn't happened in public so will cross that bridge when we come to it.

She's also got very clingy, again with me, I can't help but worry if it's because I work full time and don't see her enough. I really try to spend as much time as I can. She does love the childminders so it's not that. It's hard on DP as he's very hands on but gets hurt when she only wants me. The bedtime hate continues, she just wants me to cuddle her all evening so I have to negotiate getting her into bed. Still takes less than 15 minutes but it's exhausting.

Weird time at cm this week (bear with me on this, it's a long story), she came home and told us that her friend A was crying and that dd had hit her. I told her it was ok and that even though that was a naughty thing to do she was a good girl and not to worry but she kept saying she was sad. I text the cm to see what happened and it turns out that another child, R, had hit DD, dd immediately hit her back and they were both a bit stunned but that was the end of it. Her friend A had been crying because she only lives across the road and knew her mum was home all week so was getting upset wanted to go home. This was on Tuesday and DD is still telling us that A was crying because DD had hit her. Have no idea how to help her let it go!

Ladydolly several mths on ds2 tells us Jude smack me hurt me not nice he won't let it go!!

Ds1 puked in night Tues night I don't do puke I was binning the bedding but husband cleaned the debris off (he has no sense smell) then I machine washed it. I worked from home wed m he had day off he is never I'll n I don't think tummy bug, he tried a pancake for first time and doesn't normally eat eggs so think it was that.

eastmids that made me laugh that are/ used to be a paediatric nurse but "don't do puke" though, to be honest, I don't really cope well with it at home either.

Ha ha happy one reason I no longer work on wards is I dpont do big kids bodily fluids full stop esp puke n secretions - babies fine post 3yrs nope.

I was known on an early to puke my guts after giving an olive oil enema, a student nurse once put it a complaint ss she said it was disrespectful to the patient - poor kid didn't have a clue n the mum was fully aware I often dashed off to puke as she thought it was hilarious. --- oh such memories.

DS has gotten very clingy with me too, and I think it's just developmental as I'm still on mat leave. I figure it's my reward for all hose months where he didn't even notice I existed if Daddy was in the room!

Another weekend survived. On Saturday morning I took off his nappy and he was all NO NAPPY! and ran off and plonked himself in a sulk on the leather sofa. Next thing I heard Pssssssshhhhh... and I jumped up and he had weed all over it! He didn't even realise he had done it - so we're nowhere near potty training! I guess it'll be the summer at this rate. He still only tells us he's done a poo about 10% of the time and doesn't seem to notice the rest of the time and will hotly deny there's a poo even when we know by the whiff.

My poor sofa!

We have had some slight success with the teeth brushing since we bought an electric toothbrush. Before that it was all massively traumatic.

Still no joy rinsing his hair - and since he has dreadful dry scalp (which I presume is late cradle cap though it's hard to know) it really has to be shampooed, otherwise I'd just use a facecloth to freshen it up. He just freaks out no matter what careful technique I use.

He's also dreadfully upset at going in to crèche on Mondays, though I told DH he could well be like that during primary and secondary as well! The other days his separation anxiety has improved since we started roaring BYE BYE!!! at the top of our voices like we're in a comedy revue.

Sleep is good thankfully - but we're not really getting the benefit of it as the baby is a bad sleeper (I've been awake since 3.30am with her thrashing half-asleep in my arms, fun times!).

He likes her, but funnily enough doesn't like her to touch him as it freaks him out a bit, this wobbly grasping hand clinging to his sleeve. He goes "She pushed me!". He definitely picked that up at crèche as nobody has ever pushed him outside it, and I wasn't aware he even knew the word. But he seems happy there and comes home telling me who he played with and that they were in the garden etc and it'd adorable.

I didn't really give potty/ toilet training a proper try last week, as DH decided to work from home on Friday so DD and I had to go out for part of the day because he couldn't do any work with her there. If he is there, it is all about Daddy. I am literally not allowed to do anything with or for her. I suggested wiping her nose and she shouted 'no, daddy do it.' I was not upset that only Daddy is worthy of wiping her snotty nose. Only Daddy is allowed to get her dressed, make her a drink, turn on the TV, change her nappy. She did wear pants one day, sat on the toilet and didn't wee, then 5mins later said 'I need wee wee' and immediately weed on the floor and was very upset. She asks to wee on the toilet when her sister or I go but only very occasionally does a wee, and she regularly says that she has done a poo when she hasn't. Maybe we will try again when I am off work later this week.
She also loves nursery at the moment and asks to go each day (she only goes 2 days a week). She wakes up and hopefully asks 'see my friends today?' and the other kids at nursery are her only friends.

DD does this kind of 'poo dance' now when she's done one in her nappy... if it's a fairly solid one, she waggles her bum side to side and says "Wiggle wiggle wiggle!", i think because she can feel it moving around in there... gross!
We're not doing potty training yet but there is usually a potty around and she sometimes asks to do a poo on it and sometimes actually does one. She's pretty aware of when a poo's coming (not when it's a soft one though which it often still is). But no clue about wees and she doesn't tell me anything about them unless she is naked and can feel it running down her leg, haha. Planning on waiting til the summer, much less washing to do!

She's picked up "No mummy, leave it" which I've heard approximately one billion times since she first said it on Sunday morning. Whenever I do anything she doesn't like I get it. I never realised how much I said 'just leave it' until she started parroting it back to me!

Turned my ankle over on sunday night which was absolute agony. yesterday was fairly awful as I wasn't working and couldn't bear any weight on it at all, I was hopping around in so much pain. DD pushed on my foot when I had it up on a footstool and I shouted/screamed in pain, she immediately burst into tears, poor thing (and poor me). Luckily she was quite happy with doing lots of playdoh at the kitchen table for most of the day as long as I kept on rolling bits out for her to cut. Was a bit worried I'd broken something but it's a lot better today so think it's just sprained/badly bruised.

About 'sorry'... I made her say it to the cat the other day when she purposely clonked it on the head with a plastic toy golf club! If she hits me (usually in excitement when I'm holding her), I put her straight down and say 'We don't hit, I don't want to cuddle you if you're going to do that'. Some things she does I just ignore and often we don't see those behaviours again if she doesn't get a reaction. It's really hard knowing when to do that, and even harder if she does something when we're out and about and people probably think I'm a terrible parent for ignoring, but sometimes it is just like she is trying something out, and if she gets a reaction she will do it again but if not just moves on to the next thing.

DH wants to 'force' potty training iyswim whereas I don't want to try until I think he's ready. Thoughts?

MrsA Wait until she's ready is my thought. DH didn't have any opinion, but my mum kept going on about potty training DD1, I ignored her and waited until I thought DD1 was ready and it went really well, very few accidents and sorted very quickly. It is harder second time round because we can't just stay in for several days until it is sorted because of taking DD1 to school and other places she needs/ expects to go. I am leaving it now, just letting DD2 sit on the toilet if she asks to, for various complicated reasons, but I definitely think wait until she is ready, it's not a competition or a race, no one will know or care what age she was potty trained at when she is older.

I would wait. Google the signs that they're ready. If they aren't showing any, there's no point. We're waiting til DD is more ready because I'm lazy and I want it to be as easy as possible and with as little extra washing as possible!

I'm hoping to convince him to wait but he is more at home than I am so he needs to be fully on board. I think he's getting a bit sick of washing cloth nappies tbh!

If u need to convince him MrsA we have tried today - hey always up for bit fun and we have had one trickle on potty n 4 wets pants n trousers - lots washing

I put a pull up on for nap time which was wet but he slept 3hrs

We are prob not yet ready ds1 was 2yrs 7mths and dry in 5 days only one poo accident n those pants got binned!

Other news we went to Thomas land yesterday ds2 hadn't been (done sundown and Alton towers) and had great time he doesn't really watch thomas but enjoyed it still - it was busy think as rain forecast today. Ds1 pretended he was too old but actually had good time.

We went to the cinema together on saturday morning! DD sat through the whole of Beauty and the beast (the animated one). I couldn't believe it! Snarfed a LOT of popcorn and had her dummy for the last 20 minutes which definitely helped! I didn't think she'd manage more than half an hour. We only paid £2 each, it was family flicks so there were lots of kids there and a constant low level noise and talking, but crying/screaming kids got taken out so we could hear everything fine, it was a nice family morning out actually with minimal energy expended by mum and dad! I wonder if she would sit through a non-cartoon as well though.

We had a night out on Saturday at a wedding and stayed in a hotel in London while DD stayed with my parents. Had such a great time, amazing food and a free bar so really made the most of the child free time, haha.

DD has suddenly started singing the past few weeks. Going from looking at me like I was mad when I tried to get her to join in with twinkle twinkle to reeling off dozens of nursery rhymes almost perfectly, even managing a bit of pitch too. This weekend she started singing the alphabet song too. Must be from nursery as I tell her letter sounds if she asks rather than letter names. Am slightly annoyed though as she is singing "t u vee, w, x, y and ZEE". NO DD IT'S ZED. I smell an AIBU coming on...

moggle DS has started ordering us about too. Very tiresome. "Come back!" "In here!" "Outside!" And of course "NOOOOOO! STOPPPP!" when I have the audacity to walk away from him.

It seems to be sheepdog phase of development as I definitely feel herded about.

We're also firmly in the "ITS MINE!" stage. Doesn't matter what the item is, it could be the shirt off your back! And if you say no, it's Mammy's, cue hysterics.

Every Wednesday we listen avidly to a child psychologist slot on Newstalk, this radio station here and he's amazing. He always recommends this discipline book called 123 Magic so I ordered it and it just arrived. We definitely feel we're getting to the point where we need a really definite and simple method when he's naughty.

We're in the bossy stage too! I was ordered to go downstairs and make a cake at bath time tonight. I didn't. We also have lots of 'sit down there Mummy/Daddy'. I quite like it when he bosses me about with his games though, means he's got ideas and creativity flowing.

He's a funny one though. No interest in drawing or painting, but asks me to get crayons out just so he can put them back in the right order in the trays they come in.

Had a trip to a museum today. Was very much enjoying walking round an exhibition we'd paid for, when he said 'Mummy, need poo poo'... So, I ran like a loon out of the exhibition, round and down several flights of stairs, charging through groups of school children, queued for ages outside a stall...only to discover he just wanted a 'mini wee'. Off back upstairs to the exhibition, where he loudly started declaring he wanted to go home. The shop distracted him for a bit... We were very good and didn't buy him anything though.

Do any of your ones repeat the same request over and over and over and over again until you think your brain might fall out of your ear?
Eg,
DS 'Mummy, me want watch trains'
Me: 'It's not TV time yet, TV time is at supper time'
DS 'Mummy, me want watch trains'
Me: 'It's not TV time yet'
DS: 'Not TV time yet'
Me: 'That's right, not TV time yet. TV time is at supper time after tea'
3 seconds later
DS: 'Mummy, me want supper time watch trains'
arrgghhh- mostly this is about TV and snacks.

I'm limiting snacks because he's been awful at eating main meals with us at home at the moment, trying to stop him grazing all day as he just fills up on breadsticks and rice cakes. As soon as he gets a snack he wants to watch TV with it, and I'm a bit worried it's leading him to a bad habit with TV and gorging... (PFB, much?)

We had a chat about listening ears, and making sure they were switched on earlier, and that he listened to Mummy and Daddy, but not sure what else I can do to stop the endless loop... to think I once worried about him talking, now he won't shut up!

and yes, Moggle. It's ZED, not ZEE. And AITCH, not HAYTCH. I also get cross with DH for saying 'what one?' when he means 'which one?'

Moggle that's great about the cinema! I can't wait until DD can do that but I think we're a long way off.

She's quite bossy and I tell her so to which she replies firmly 'no my not bossy!'

We went to a friend's dc's 4th bday party so DD was the youngest there and just loved it, she even made a friend and brought her over to meet me which was lovely but the 5 year old looked a little bemused. I had dinner with one of the parents who also went last night who said she was so jealous about how well behaved DD was and how tantrumy her ds was. He's 5 months older and in the depths of 'terrible two's' but a lovely kind hearted boy. Of course it's all subjective isn't it? DD was brilliant but it's not like she's like that all the time.

ANOTHER cold. She was up every hour last night because she couldn't breathe despite heaps of olbus oil in the room. I am tiiiiired.

annarose a friend mentioned that method, she did a course on it in our local children's centre. I think I'll keep it in mind, so far the gentle techniques work on DD, I don't know if she's just an easy toddler or we've not hit terrible 2's yet but this age is SO much easier compared to babyhood!!

oh I had to laugh, me and some friends were talking about calling kids bossy and in particular calling girls bossy where boys don't get called that so much. And I said to DD next time she was telling me what to do "wow you're showing some great leadership skills there Eliza" so now she parrots "Eliza leaderdip dilld"
(not calling anyone out saying 'bossy' - my solution is to call all the boys bossy as well as the girls!)

moggle I actually thought twice about posting because I've read the same stuff about calling girls bossy. But like you, I would call a boy bossy too!! Maybe I should try calling her assertive and see what she makes of that...

Tennuous link: I make her say 'flamingo' all the time because I love all the different pronunciations she tries, my favourite is 'fladamingo!'

lady I have a stupid game where I try to think of long words that DD should in theory be able to pronounce/copy - as she can't say S, F, soft G and J, and a few others - my best so far is Pterodactyl!

I remember Ambulance and Trampoline being good tonguetwisters when my brother was little :-D

I find myself pointing out Butterflies just because the way he pronounces them WuffaWye makes my heart melt.

Earlier today I met my friend who was wearing a top with Butterflies on and I said "Oh DS would love that....(pause)...he calls them WuffaWyes you know!" She was like "......Ok....." and I realised not everyone is as enraptured by these things!

And I take special pride in being the only one in the world, including DH, who knows when DS is referring to Fire Engines. Cos he says it DjinnDjinnDjinn which sounds like gibberish. But it's not!

It is a lovely stage though, despite the Moments of Madness they exhibit on occasion. He went from being 18 months old and being so obsessed with Daddy that I felt invisible and miserable, to now hopping up on the armchair beside me and pressing his little hands on both my cheeks and grinning straight into my eyes. Sometimes he squeals in delight at being able to just hold my face and will turn back to the TV and continue watching the dreaded Justin's House or whatever with his hands still cupping my cheeks. My heart almost bursts!