Just Mumming 9- We're suffering the curse of Mel B, ST syndrome and the rise of the sleep snatchers. We've all had enough and would just like a good JS.

[PixieChops]

Morning Viroids

Welcome to the 9th Just Mumming Fred.

Pop your credentials down or not:

Name: Pixie
Age:29
Pests: 2- P (girl) 17 months old, R (boy) 4 months old
Things I can't do anymore- have a crap in peace, drink a hot drink, do any housework, shag ST, sleep, take naps.

Things I can do- carry a toddler, baby, dirty bottles and nappies down the stairs all at once, put a double pram up in 20 seconds, have a shower inc washing and shaving in under 5 mins. Be coco the clown on 26 mins sleep.

Don't want to burst your bubble La but it's not really made one jot of difference here... To sleep that is. Sorry you're having a tough time chuck.

Mr P didn't do the cot last night because I couldn't stand an extra second on my own with miniP. So he had him while I had a long bath! Not sure when he'll next have time. Also need to get a baby monitor from somewhere!

The guy who's meant to be buying our house is pratting about and stalling.... Really worried he's going to pull out

Noooooooooo!!!!!!

And same to house guy! Give him a slap with a wet fish quick!

la H still won't sleep anywhere during the day except on me, in the car or pram. Don't worry that he 'should' be doing something, just go with what works for you both!

Oh no popz, hope he sorts himself out!

Gah! These babies!

I have had a better day, but it has been a struggle. I keep the smile on my face and the sing song voice but it's tough - he gets so grumpy at around 6pm - I just want him to go to bed but DH gets in at 6.30 and wants to do bath time. Which doesn't happen until 6.50 as DH needs to change and have his snack first so I get handed a screaming overtired baby at 7.10

S won't take a bottle at the moment so it's down to me. I haven't had an evening meal since last Thursday as it has taken so long for me to get S to sleep.

I lost my shit tonight. Plonked S on the bed with white noise to let him scream (he wouldn't feed). DH came in and had a go at me and so I told him I am off and he can deal with it tonight.

I am sitting in the cafe at the gym having a hot chocolate. DH is spitting feathers.

Sounds like dh is half your problem Fleur. Can he get home any earlier? I know it's hard for them if they don't see the baby but dh isn't the priority. Alternatively can S have a nap about 6 for half an hour?
Don't blame you for losing your shit, hours of crying really takes its toll. Sending a hug

B is still not down here. I bought a light show, he's mesmerised by it, then cries when it stops. It's not sending him to sleep at all even though he's overtired. Dh is on duty, I've made bedtime his job as then he gets one on one time every day. We still don't have a fixed bedtime though.

Fleur have him in the bath at 6.30. If MrFleur wants to do bath then he does it right away. Babies tend not to have the patience to wait until daddy is ready. BabyPis is much harder to put down if we miss bedtime. I've done it tonight - left my mum's a bit late and now I'm trapped upstairs trying to get her to sleep. Hope the hot chocolate is good! I might get the kettle on if I ever escape

La sorry but weaning didn't make a difference I've tried all sorts of combos of mealtimes and foods and nothing seems to affect the night feeds.

We're having a weird day. She was awake at four this morning and grumbled, screamed, kicked and scratched until about 7 when DS came in all excited about opening the advent calendars. Bless him. She fell asleep on me after breakfast at 9 and slept until gone 12. I've never watched so much telly! I put her up on my back in the connecta while I got some chores done and she slept for another two hours. Not like her at all hope we're not in for another night like that or I'll be leaving her to it and sleeping on the sofa......

pis I want to try back carries in the connecta more, I know how to do it, but I think I need a mirror to see her cos I worry about if she's happy or not!

Speaking of slings, I got my coat insert/extender today for when we go away, it'll mean carrying her on my front but it looks ace, I'm gojng to try it tomorrow!

fleur we bathe H at about 7, then bed straight after so MrZ can do her bath, BUT she won't sleep before 7.30 so I know it's ok. If she got too tired waiting, she'd be bathed before he got home and that would be the end of it. We used to eat together at about 7 Then do her bath because I wanted us to eat as a family, but she couldn't cope, it was too late for her food and she got too tired, so now she eats at 4.30 and we eat later. You have to do what works best for the baby!

Can we have a pic of the extender when you try it out please? I have a mirror above the fireplace so I can do a quick check to make sure she's the right way up once I've got her in. I haven't wrapped her on my back for a while.... Might have a bash tomorrow if she's grizzly again.

Do you mean one of those clip on mini mirrors to see over your shoulder?

Fuck that fleur!!! He doesn't need a bath every night at this age surely? And bedtime is bedtime, tough shit for Mr Fleur. I'm raging on your behalf. Hopefully now he's had the pleasure of wrestling an over tired baby to sleep he will be a little more understanding.... I've had similar issue with MrP in the past, not bathing minipopz when I've asked him to because he's arsing around doing something else. They just don't get it do they!!

So,B is still awake. He's napped this evening. The lightshow didn't work, he loved it and didn't fall asleep. Each time it stops Dh says put it back in...so I said am I to do this all night or are you going to get him to sleep!!! Bloody men!!! Just because he's not crying!

Fleur if I were to make b go any longer at bedtime he would be hysterical with tired rage and no way would he go down for ages. We do bath at 6:30 but if he's showing he's really tired I move it forward to 6/6:15. Baby comes first and your dh needs to get his head around that!!!

Overtired babies don't sleep easily! Men and their bloody comfort! My dh always runs to toilet before taking b whereas I pick him up when he needs me and sit bursting for a wee for hours

When B is screamy at Eve feed I take him into dark bedroom with white noise and sit and feed him there. Calms him down enough to feed. Don't blame you for walking out it sounds like you've had enough!!! Screaming is awful

Horrendous night here wake ups every 2 hours again. Aargh!! He's not hungry this is just comfort. He's getting woken up by us

Got paediatric appointment at hospital tomorrow so will discuss it then.

Purple - I would think light show is over stimulating. Can you limit it to a few minutes as part of bedtime routine? Then make room dark and quiet for bottle/story?

Morning all

Thanks for the support! I went home after half an hour, S was still screaming but I managed to feed him and get him to sleep. He only stayed in his cot until 10pm though

Sorry, presses post too soon!

so I fed him again and managed to settle him in his cot. I went straight to bed. He only woke once during the night - get in!!

I think S sleeps better when I am in the room - God knows what he will be like when he goes into his own room.

Yes, DH is the problem. He thinks he knows best about everything. He thinks S cries because he doesn't want to go to bed not that he's tired (he doesn't really nap after 4pm, perhaps a cat nap on me). He comes home and starts telling me what to do. Another example is that he is anti baby wipes and wants me to use cotton wool and water - that's fine if I am changing him in the nursery but it's not always practical. He actually counted the packs of wipes I had and commented when one was used. Arse.

I am going to bring bed time forward regardless - plan to have him in the bath when DH comes home. It will be interesting to see what he does - whether he still insists on getting changed etc.

Also found out yesterday that I can't get a nursery place for miles. I have no idea what I am going to do about going back to work

pis I meant one to see her over my shoulder, found them online and ordered one! If I try her in my coat later I'll take a pic and put it on FB page! :)

fleur big hugs! It sounds a bit controlling, does he think it shows he cares if he says how things should be done best? Maybe point out that he couldn't stop S crying last night and to let you do what works!

fleur - dh sounds like hard work and you sound like you are being much more accommodating than I would be able to manage!
Is it worth saying that you are with s all day every day and you know what you think works best, but you are happy for him to take total control one weekend and see if you can learn anything from his way of doing things☺ I would suspect that the wipes might suddenly not be an issue for him......
And why do YOU get the screaming over tired baby at 7.10pm? Maybe dh can get him down for the night instead of you?

Fleur I have a similar issue with my DH, he doesn't get home until 9 and then wants cuddles etc. Melba often doesn't settle properly until gone 10pm at the moment so has been having her bath and bedtime routine starting quite late at about 8.30, meaning she's having cuddles and feeds by the time DH gets home. It often takes a while to get her to settle down and sleep in her crib though. I'd like her to get used to settling down earlier at some point, and I do feel bad that this means on days DH is working he won't get to see her at all but I don't think it's going to be long until an earlier bedtime is needed and I guess otherwise she'll just get used to being up and awake until late, unless I do something to help her realise it's bedtime at, say 8pm rather than 10.30pm. For my sanity at least, it would help me to be able to have her asleep earlier seeing as I'm on my own with her until 9pm quite often (and then DH wants to talk about his day, shower, have a cuppa etc so it's not like I can just hand her over to him to settle her down at 9 either) I would then feel I can relax for an hour in the evening or get the washing up done/washing hung out/all the jobs not done earlier in the day whilst DH relaxes and keeps an eye on Melba. It's probably all pie in the sky anyway and she will decide she doesn't go to bed any earlier no matter what!

Sorry you had a bad night la. We have started having at least one slightly longer stretch of 3 hours at the beginning of the night for the last few nights, last night 11-2, But that was balanced by waking at 4am and 5am and then taking almost an hour to settle again until her next wake up at 7.45. Now she's asleep with DH and I am getting up to have breakfast.

Purple interesting that the light show didn't seem to help B settle, we want to get Melba that kind of thing but maybe it will have to be a play time activity rather than a bedtime one. I kind of assumed twinkly lights etc would be sort of mesmerising.

Hmm that post took me a while to get posted and I hadn't read the most recent posts. to mr fleur's anti- baby wipes comments! He can do it the way you tell him to do whatever he likes when he changes mini fleur and let you do it your way when he's not there!

Fleur!!' Lemme at him!!! I'll give him fucking cotton bloody wool!!! Honestly - he should be trying to make your life easier not harder. Tool.

Where's pixie? I miss her rants!

Toast that's the lovely long stretch we are no longer getting - I miss it! He goes down at 7 and now stirs and wakes at 9:30 ish whereas he used to sleep to 1. Does anyone know how to get them to stay asleep? I just keep getting to to give him formula by everyone. I don't want to!

Toast that's a shame that he doesn't get home til so late but you're doing the best by melba by following what suits her.

Disastrous day so far. Went to weaning class which was absolute load of shite and B had to sit on my knee throughout which was interesting. He was really good but at one point I put him on his back and he erupted with massive loud farts!!!

Got home to find smoke billowing out of my washing machine. Thank god I came home! I have always said I don't think we should leave it on when we go out but dh always says I'm a dick for worrying and nothing will happen. Well that would be been very serious if id not been there! I'm shuddering thinking about it! Have just driven my washing to my lovely friends house who is going to spin it for me and il pick it up later. What a legend she is!

B just seems mega tired constantly so I think he's overtired which is stopping him sleeping properly at night. Combined with teething and the splint adjustment. Poor monkey. He's sleeping now.

Got hospital paediatrician appointment this afternoon. Follow up for hips and the choking incident combined. Silly HV who did weaning course told me I should also ask about his 'choking on spit'. I thought all babies who are approaching teething did this? He just coughs now and then because of the saliva he's producing. Is that not normal? I'm scared now!

I agree! Tell him he's got to settle him at night and he'll soon realise how bloody difficult it is. I've started doing that with dh when he comes in from work and wakes B in middle of night. He soon started being more quiet.

Oh Fleur you probably don't want to hear Dh is a dick but he's supposed to make our life easier not harder. You probably need to sit him down and tell him that in a calm moment. FWIW you're doing a great job, you're putting your baby's needs first....exactly what you should be doing xx

fleur I am outraged for you, the baby wipe thing is ridiculous. Cotton wool is a pain in the arse, I would only use them if my child had an allergy to all wipes! in the whole bloody world also complete nightmare keeping babies up past their bedtimes/or when they need to sleep its only gonna end in tears!!

la sorry but I agree with others food didn make a difference with E's sleeping. At about 4 months E started sleeping on his tummy that stopped him waking as much. I think the first night he went on his tummy he slept for 6 hrs.

E has learnt to say 'ready, steady, go' it is sooo cute

Fleur! I'm sure he has his good points but.... Mr Fleur is being a fucking arsebandit. What an absolute pillock. Fuming for you. Crying because he doesn't want to go to bed!?! Surely the man who knows everything there is to know about babies would know that that is NOT ACTUALLY POSSIBLE. He's a BABY. Ugh. And as for the baby wipes. I would probably do something really passive aggressive like keep a tally sheet of every individual wipe I used

What did they tell you at weaning class La?

The weaning class I went to was purely about purees. She cooked them up, put them into dishes, using her finger (!) and when I asked about baby led/finger foods, cut some carrot discs instead of fingers. I wasn't impressed.

Totally agree popz - babies don't have concept of wanting to or not wanting to go to bed. He's a dafty Fleur!

Better night tonight - 3 wake ups. Holding him to get him back to sleep just now. I've noticed he's extremely windy so I wonder if that's been affecting his sleep. Since the brave came off so I wonder of its all been sitting in his tummy making him uncomfortable because he was so restricted in it.

Weaning was ok - she did portion sizes, when to give water, how to offer food (cut into sticks), what types of food and about not adding salt or sugar. She talked about sugar content of ready made puréed foods and why rusks are evil. Also about milk - how often to still give it. Learned lots but was distracted by B who was farting lots.

Went to paediatrician appointment at hospital. Paediatrician thinks B has reflux still.
B doesn't have reflux. Her reasoning was that he wakes often and that he coughs due to dribble.
I don't think much of paediatrician as she doesn't seem to know much about babies. I asked her about excess dribbling, keeping babies in same room for 6 months. She didn't know that was the nhs advice for first 6 months and she also started talking about me weaning him 'soon' ie in next month. He's 4 months old.

She asked me if we cosleep and said she 'understands that's what most bf mums do'. Really?? I know se but certainly not all. Debating why she's a paediatrician.

Still, been signed off for both his 'reflux' (it's not reflux) and hips.