August 2015 - Jaffa cake wars and many Mugabe greetings to you!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies - praying for a decent sleep tonight!!

Oh Tindel. I feel your pain, it's shit sometimes isn't it. I can recall the shitty nights/evenings trying to soothe DD when we didn't know she had reflux so she was just in pain. Aside from any potential painful situations I s your lo going through a growth spurt? This made my DD a mega cranky pants.

Keep your chin up though missus. It'll pass, it will pass!

Sorry not read all the updates but notice a few of you asking about m bridesmaids comment- it's going to be a right anti climax now sorry! It's not like I've been off my face on a plane or anything remotely that fun!

Basically I'm a bridesmaid for my friends wedding in NYE along with another girl who I've not met before wedding stuff. The other day the bride cancelled the hen do event on fb that we'd been chatting about planing it and then yesterday a new one appeared saying it was a surprise and with all these details of what we were now doing including asking for £50 deposit by Monday or it would be assumed we weren't going!! It wasn't the other bridesmaid who had made the group although she had helped with all the plans it was another girl who I've never met- i know she got married last year and spent 30 grand on the wedding!! Looking at her fb profile she is what I would call pretentious and the stuff she has planned although lovely and the bride will love is hideously expensive!! Anyway I was peeved that I hadn't been consulted/ involved etc and thought it was ridiculous to ask for that money with less than a weeks notice at the end of the month and was having a rant to DH! He came into the bedroom sniggering under his breath afterwords and when I asked what he was laughing at he pointed out how uncannily similar to the movie storyline it was- we were laughing so much we had to go into the spare room so we didn't wake DS!! I am obviously 'Annie'- me and the bride have been friends since brownies and the pretentious 'Helen' character is even called 'Ellen' which made us cry laughing doing impressions of the film! Anyway like I say anti climax- I hope you weren't all expecting a shitting in the sink in a posh shop story!

Will go and read the rest now- but notice routines are up for discussion- I would say we don't really have one and haven't tried to implement one except bath/ bottle/ bed. We are generally baby led but that said DS will usually have a last nap about 5/6ish before his bath at 7pm but tonight he had a bottle at 5.30 and fell asleep whilst I was burping him. DH got home at 6 and DS woke up when I moved him off my shoulder- saw DH and woke up to play with him (how cute he was excited to see him!). I then went to yoga at 6.30 and got back at 8.30 to find DS sat in his cosy half awake and half asleep fighting his eyelids! He needed his last bottle which he usually has around that time but he then fell asleep- we let him sleep whilst we made and ate tea and then I tried to give it him at 9.30/10 having to wake him but he only took 4oz! Seemed sleepy then- burying his face in me etc so DH took him up at 10.30- however he sent me a text photo from upstairs of him beaming away saying 'sleepy eh?' Oopsy!! Shouldn't have messed with the routine!!!

Frolic- the lidl fake buenos were my recommendation!! Aren't they amazzzzzzingggg!!! Like you say they are rather dangerous though- take comfort in the knowledge I did eat an entire pack in a day once!

I need to find a Lidl pronto!!! I bloody love buenos!!!!

Gosh you've been chatty.
I'll read back in a bit. Too much to catch up on.

Effin it was the bf group who told me to try and wean her off the shields. Will go back on Monday and see what they say because I've only used the shields when with them. Have used them all today though because of the pain. Try again tomorrow.

I'm off to bed now so I'll reply to everyone tommorrow but just wanted to say for Tindel and that it happens to us all. Last week DS had 3 days of pretty much screaming all day no matter what I did and refusing to nap- by the time DH for home each day I had to hand him over and have a break from him for a while as I was so stressed out- felt awful and like you say wasn't enjoying being a mummy. But it didn't last long! Googling it brought my attention to 'wonder weeks' which are non physical growth spurts- so mental etc and the behaviour surrounding such wonder weeks was exactly what DS was being like so maybe the same is true for yours? X

Thanks everyone, for all his screaming, J did go 5.5 hours between feeds, so we did get some sleep. I think it might be a growth spurt - he's fed quite frequently the last day or so and he's been really clingy and hard to settle. I keep thinking about the wonder weeks app, but does it work on premature babies? He was only 5 weeks early, but people keep talking about his adjusted age and how he may hit milestones later, so I don't know how helpful it would be.

I know this phase will pass, but it did feel really tough tonight - thanks for the support x

I've got the wonder week app but must say I dont really find it useful personally but some people rave about it.

Glad u had a bit more sleep tindel. Sounds horrendous. I've never had any moments of uncontrollable crying with dd. She only cries when she's hungry or the random outbursts of crying like yesterday with the bottle but she settles soon enough. Or she cries in the car but I can't do anything about that while I'm driving. Otherwise boob will settle her whenever she cries.

I'd love to have a bedtime routine where she is left upstairs in the evening but she's just not ready for it yet. That is still her main feeding time so it wouldn't work but her bedtime bottle and bed with us is as much of a routine as we have. And that part works because she sleeps about 6-7hours on average so I cant really complain.

Despite all the cake talk on this thread trying to tempt me I have managed to lose half a stone since starting weightwatchers whoohoo. Although I'd lost some of that in the original baby weight loss but had put some on from eating cake so I'll feel even better when I lose the next half a stone I think. I need to lose as much as I can before Christmas because I always put weight on over Christmas without fail as the food is just too tempting.

I read all the posts last night and then the page wouldn't reload so now I've forgotten what everyone said. I hope everyone is ok and had restful sleep .

Lily lol at the suspense over your bridesmaid story. Does sound very similar to the film. Who had organised the original hen do before it was cancelled? Seems odd that she's not even a bridesmaid. It annoys me when these things are expensive because not everyone is in the same situation as other people and has money to burn for one persons hen do. I know I've been annoyed in the past when it's cost a fortune. Although it did turn out really fun in the end once I'd gotten over the expense part.

Dp has asked his pants to have dd for sleepover at the weekend. It was his birthday yesterday and we're just going to a house party so I was going to take her with us but now he's asked his parents I can't say no u can't have her now. I'm sure it'll be fine and I'll enjoy it but I'm still not ready for his parents to have her.

Oh tindel!!! You are far from a crap mum!! Look at all these things you're trying!! Sometimes these babies just have insane days-aka growth spurts. As mzzzf says this too shall pass.

Lily -that is some epic wedding drama! Has there been any feedback from people invited to the ridiculously expensive hen do?? I do love a wedding!!

Congrats on the weight loss dozy - half a stone is excellent!!

I hope you mean DPs parents and not pants x

Tindel the wonder weeks app and book both work from the original due date, so should be fine for your premature baby.

Dammit just lost a long post is written whilst burping a very wriggly baby!! Can't be bothered now! I'll come back later!

Good morning,

Was going to post last night but the page wouldn't load. That was some scary shit at 3am - does it go down often?

effin the advice about daytime sleeping is fairly similar in that it's about watching for and recognising sleep cues then putting your baby down accordingly. It helpfully talks about how long an average baby of that age can usually stay awake for (90 mins for us atm) and how long the sleep cycle will last (45 mins, which is why they often stir after that amount of time as they go back into light sleep). It's not a theory book like Ford or Hogg, it just gives you options and advice based on the average development of babies. I liked it because I don't really respond well to people telling me what to do, I'm better with evidence based information which I can absorb and then adopt the bits that suit me.

As a lot of the second timers have said - joskar, fatty, nolonger - the key is finding a way through that works for you. If you can also work with what your baby is naturally inclined to do anyway it is so much less stressful!

fanby we do the same, read it on a Friday for the week ahead! It's amazing how much we've forgotten in 4.5 years

giraffes I meant to ask, did your 4 yo start school this year? Ours did, just to add extra fun to the situation!

tindel hang in there mate. Sounds like some kind of developmental leap (which don't seem to always occur when they are supposed to ) or wind related. Just bloody awful though when they are like that, many hugs x

So much to catch up on!

When I had DD1 I tried to follow a routine and got really stressed and thought I wasn't doing things right when it didn't work but it's your first time and you don't know any better. Now with experience I am much more relaxed and just go with what baby wants - you live and learn. None of my DCs have been raised on a strict routine when babies and all have slept through the night from about 6-12 months. I know it's hard to imagine ever getting a good nights sleep again but you will. I think babies are so small for such a short time that you should just make the most of cuddling them while you can.

I have a new bad parenting confession (no matter how many DCs I have I don't seem to be able to stop these epic fails!) - took eldest 2 DCs to swim training last night and took baby as thought she would drop off to sleep in car. Dropped DCs at swimming and came home. Just in door and little ones wanting a bedtime story so shouts to DH that I was home and going upstairs to read story - gets settled on bed when 5 year old says "where's baby?" - OMG I'd only forgotten about her - sound asleep in car - how could I?!? She was so quiet forgot I had her out with me. Thankfully it was only a few minutes and car locked and on driveway but nonetheless......

Wishing a good day to all

I was lost during the night feed (yep, just one, high five DS) without MN! It's happened a couple of times Slowife, dont they realise we need entertainment during the wee hours?!

Tindel, it's so hard when you're not really enjoying things but as the others have said nothing lasts so just grit your teeth and hang on in there - cake helps.

I have that book too! And also read on a Friday for the week ahead (11 weeks today ). Really like it, much prefer it to the Traceyn Hogg one which sometimes made me feel a bit guilty/worried that DS wasn't acting like he's 'supposed' to.

Lily that is weirdly like the film... Do you think the other girl has realised? I look forward to stories of competitive speech making to come

Mugabe Friday everyone, we've got baby massage this morning and coffee with a friend later. Might try and pop to lidl on the way back for one of these buenos everyone's talking about...

There must have been something in the air last night, Tindel! I was out walking Cora because she wouldn't stop screaming. She almost never cries so it was a bit worrying. Poor wee toot. I walked a couple of miles and she settled eventually. Fed her at midnight and she was OK after that. No idea what it was all about. Wind or something probably. She was bawling for Several hours though. Dd1 woke up, dog was going nuts...gah! So hard to keep the heid. Crazy babies.

Bloody typical though as my sister and her man are coming up from that London this morning and I was hoping to tidy up and bake and get a head start on making tea and such. Nae luck! Still might get time yet as we've been up since six so I've managed a bit. Mostly though I've been watching dd1 dance naked in high heels to the Scissor Sisters. There are benefits to having kids and watching that performance is definitely one of the best!

Happy Friday everyone!

Mugabe morning all!
I hope everyone is ok? It was very strange not to be able to check in during night feeds. Especially since ds decided he didn't want to sleep for more than 2 hours in a row last night. Mumsnet is great, but it seems to go down a lot lately.
I'm looking after my nieces today so venturing into the world of more than one child at a time. They are adorable girls, so I'm sure we'll be fine. I just wish I'd had more sleep.

Thanks for the book recommendation slow. I downloaded it last night and like it very much so far.

Sorry you're having a shit time if it tindel. As everyone else says, remember that it will pass. When ds had a problem with growing / wind around week 3, the things that worked to soothe him were skin to skin, sling and infacol in no particular order.
I have the wander weeks app and you set it from baby's due date I think.
I hope today is a better one for you both

The bridesmaid thing sounds like it's getting a bit farcical lily!
And damn you for the fake Bueno thing - I scoffed the whole packet last night. I will not be buying them again!

Well done on the weight loss dozy. That's a really good loss.
Don't send piper anywhere you don't feel ready. Dp and his parents will just have to understand.

At least you didn't leave her at the pool loves!

Don't buy the bueno's clstow! They are more dangerous than crack!

Happy Friday everyone these weeks are flying by!

X-posts jockstar. I hope Cora is better today and you get to enjoy your visitors. Dd1!spubds like a blast - there really is no other way to dance to the scissor sisters!

Just sat at the Drs waiting for our jabs ...

So, as the Tuesday confessional was so successful at cheering us all here's another idea for a Friday game: 'Irrational annoyances for the new parent' (a.k.a things that never bothered me before but now turn me into a raging lunatic).

Mine, so far this morning:

People who park their cars across the pavement so I have to wheel my infant down the road

Dog poo! My buggy wheels do not need covering in crap!

Uh oh, that's the nurse calling us...

And the Guinness book of records award for the most times someone had dropped their dummy and instantly wanted it back in one night goes to baby kbro. My god DS you are right to be pulling out the smiles this morning to get me back on side.
Tindel DS is exactly like that too, esp the face clawing. He also likes to demand boob and then thrash his legs, slap my breast and sometimes scream with it in my mouth. His (I think) is very much wind related. But my god it is hard work. The only advice I have is keep passing back and forth between you and your OH as there is only so much one person can take. And on a lighter note thank god we live in a time when you can pause live TV.

Lily love the bridesmaids story. In fact love a good wedding drama. How bloody annoying. As I discovered last year, weddings bring out the best and the worst in people (yes MIL and SIL am talking to you both there)

Re routines we are very far away from having one. My current approach is get nights sorted (last night aside, we are doing ok there) next getting evenings sorted (DS currently goes to bed at midnight) then get day time naps sorted last. If that results in some sort of routine ok but if not then so be it. That works for us though as am not a massively routine person myself (read v disorganised) so whether is nature or nurture not sure we would ever have a routine baby. I agree with the very wise advice about finding what suits you. I know so mums and babies that thrive under a routine and mum has felt much happier with one. Remember happy mum equals happy baby.

Right DS is now stopped smiling and demanding attention. Best go.

Will read back in a bit just wanted to say that mini mzzzf has found giggling delight in a new word. And the word is......

Wait for it.....

Showoddywoddy

Missed loads but wanted to say:

Magrat - are you or HVs concerned about your baby's weight? If I've understood correctly they don't recommend weekly weigh-ins these days (unless there are concerns) because babies don't gain weight in a neat line and it can cause anxiety (as you are experiencing) if your baby doesn't gain one week even though that's perfectly normal. What did the HV say at the weigh in?

Joskar speaks wise words about routines and the belief that everyone else is doing something magical and their babies are all doing what they're 'supposed' to. Most (possibly all) of them are in the same boat.

Tindel - sorry things are tough. DS2 is a loud and enthusiastic cryer especially jn the evenings and it is hard. He's 9 weeks now) and I think things MIGHT be starting to settle a bit with less crying. I do think in these early days that being a few weeks premature can make a difference to milestones and what they 'should' be doing at each age. DS2 (born at 39 weeks so not officially early at all but earlier than lots of babies who might have had an extra 3 weeks 'inside') didn't smile until over 7 weeks.

I wouldn't like the restrictions of a strict routine but I would like some predictabilty. I am trying to be more 'on it' with naps as DS2 gets tired after about 1.5 hours. He definitely needs 'help' to get to sleep. No playmat naps here (although I remember DS1 doing that, maybe he was older). We don't have a proper bedtime yet but I'm trying to persuade DH to try that tonight.

Oh and thank you for pointing out that wonder weeks is from due date not birth date. That kind of explains why I always feel we are about 2 weeks out of sync.

Tindel- glad you got some sleep! As others have said wonder weeks are supposed to be calculated from the due date but when DS was like hat last week he was 11.5 weeks from birh date and was nearly 3 weeks early- I can't see how every baby would develop at exactly the same rate so I suppose using it as a rough guide give or take a week or 2 would make most sense and at least offer an explanation for when they are in a ratty phase!

Dozy well done on the weight loss my own has completely stalled mainly due to the fact I keep getting tempted by treats when we have discussed them on here! Sorry about the buenos frolic and yes clstow be warned they are addictive and only available in multipacks! Although to be fair I think there is only about 120 cals per Bueno!

I also freaked out abir that I couldn't read in the night!

Loves- I ocasionally forget DS is in the car with me and then when I realise start talking to him like a loon as I feel guilty even though most of the time he is asleep! Never quite left him in there though oopsy!

Clstow- I would relish a competitive speech competition although I would probably lower the tone as per the convo she has with the 13 year old girl in the shop 'well your a little C*' hahahahaha!! Everyone else seems to be ok with the money except one girl who keeps changing her mind about coming apparently. It's a weird situation anyways as I don't know any of the other girls that are coming as they are all the brides 'new' friends from uni (she went abit later) or work and there's 3 gay guys coming too! I'm not remotely homophobic but they are the in your face, make up wearing, talk about their sex lives in front of you types (bride used to live with them and I met them a few times but never really managed to strike up muxh convo) and they will probably think the whole do is 'amazing darlings' . Also she's not having any of her family on the do- at least I would have been able to chat to her mum! Can you tell I'm really not looking forward to it! Feels like I'm going to spend a fortune I've not got on a night in not really going to enjoy but of course I'll be putting a brave face on for my mate- at least I don't have to be away from DS for 2 nights this way

Joksar I'm sure these babies have some in built radar that means they will play up when we have plans! Have to applause DS this morning though after stirring at 5.30 he fell
Back asleep till 7- I barely heard DH leave- for his 2nd 'night' fees and then we played in bed for a bit before he went for a nap meaning I could have a proper shower washing my hair and everything- whilst looking through the shower door at the monitor! Haha!

Slowife- yes yes to the people parking on the pavement thing- something I was guilty of pre baby! The builders here are forever doing it and then they sit in their vans having lunch and when I walk past with pram I squeeze up the side hoping pram will scratch van to which I'll say 'well I'm the pedestrian you shouldn't be parked there' smile sweetly and flounce off! Hasn't happened yet though! Lol!

Frolic good luck with the multiple children thing I don't think I could cope!

Mzzf- at showoddywoddy!

We should have been going to q new play group this morning but it was at 9.30 and my hair was revolting so I was waiting for DS to sleep so I could shower! Made the executive decision that today is a lazy day instead so I'm going to start Greys anatomy I think. That and do some housework as I think Friday's will be big clean/ laundry day as when I'm back at work I won't work Friday's- I like a routine even if DS doesn't! I MAY attempt a dog walk with DS in his carrier now he's a bit bigger later but I might not! Haha!

Mugabe everyone!!