November 2014: The one that needs baby-proofing!

[ladydolly]

And maybe ends with 1st birthdays!!

Ark, hope baby Ark gets better soon....we're on the other end of the spectrum: zero dirty nappies today - was half expecting a poo in the bath (it's happened twice now - DH always does bath time ), but nothing...

anna We started everything BLW and now occasionally we spoon feed porridge etc. When he sees the spoon he gets mega excited, panting like a puppy, and try to grab it for every mouthful. It usually ends up with him having one spoon and us feeding him with another. x

Yes I have definately done tne 2 spoon system on occasion, lol. Its like juggling!

We also have a double spoon feeding situation. She prefers things she can eat herself though. I just got some of those suction bowls so even when its a stew or fish pie she can scoop it out. I also get a mild sense of winning when she tries to shove the bowl off but can't

CM has a new toddler starting who only eats biscuits and milk at 2!! Poor parents!!

Sorry for complaining about my baby-free time. I didn't think about how that would come across. It's only today and tomorrow, because then DD1 finishes pre-school and will be at home everyday until school starts and she doesn't nap or let me watch TV or ever stop talking! Apparently DD2 did well on her first day at nursery. She didn't drink any milk but did have 2 naps, only about 20mins each but still not bad for her when she wasn't fed to sleep. However, they may have fed her cheese and yoghurt DH thinks I am overreacting to be bothered about it but will ask tomorrow if they wrote the wrong thing down, if it was a soya yoghurt or if it really happened.

cat DD also does that excited panting and flaps her arms when I put her bib on.

DD does the flaily arms when I get her yoghurt out but when she's really excited she makes little fists and shakes them!

I think she's okay, no puking, temp normal etc just 5 billion nappies. Me on the other hand. Not so great.

ark what's up? Are you referring to the hideous nappy situation or are things bad? Xx

Suction bowls sound great ladydolly Where did you get them from?

ark hope you are ok

thisis we had a suction bowl from ikea. We got it for DD1 but I think they still do them.

ark hope you are doing OK this morning.

happy Good luck with the nursery situation. I really hope it is soya for their sake. Nothing like an angry mum!

Weather here is miserable so we are off to the art gallery for baby time. Cake there is good too.

Ark hope things are on the up today

catg83, weather's pretty rubbish here too - just absolutely hosed it down. Unfortunately no art gallery round here, so may have to make do with Sainsburys and M&S instead

Rain all day here too. Supposed to be riding this evening as it's my 'evening off' and DP will hopefully be home at 5, however the weather appears to be set in for the day. No stables means a very wet horse :(

Think I will research suction bowls. They sound extremely useful.

Thinking of you Ark

How civilised catg!!! I took dd to a gallery/museum one day and she howled, was the early days though :)

Suction bowls were from boots... be careful going down there, all clothes on buy one get one half price :)

Morning, feeling better today. Thank you for your concern

I think I'm struggling with the whole stay at home mum thing. I'm sure you would all love not have to go back to work but I just feel like I'm not doing anything productive if that makes sense.

I'm just at home all day living on money from the government. I don't know, it's just not how I ever imagined it to be. I feel a bit robbed of the chance to do things the 'right' way I guess, married and mortgage kind of thing.

ark You are not 'living off the government' you are being supported while you do the most important job in the world. And you're raising the next generation who will be paying their taxes to the government. You're golden.

And you are allowed to have a moan about it (you too happy). As much as I wish I could sahm, I'd soon get fed up I'm sure. Make sure you're still getting adult contact!! Could you do an evening class to stay stimulated? (so to speak )

ark have PMd you x

ladydolly I know you're right it's just not sinking in, im desperate to go back to dog agility as my class are just brilliant but I also want to start my teaching at the riding for the disabled again, agility is looking like the better option. I'm really missing just having some one on one training time with my girl, she's been such a good girl considering she's a dog that doesn't 'do' kids. She adores dd.

Once DP is settled in his new job I think I need to sort out me going back to training, from March im looking after my friends little boy who's 6 months younger than dd so that will keep me busy too. Everything's a bit unstable at the moment, I've got to move out of my grans as ( quite rightly ) my aunt wants it sold so she can do up her new house, but the council don't have anywhere for us to go yet so it looks like private rent for a bit which round here is £1000+ a month.

Ark SAHM-ing is hard hard hard. Much harder, mentally, than going out to work. Both options are exhausting and baby years are exhausting.
Try not to worry about the future. You sound so smart and capable and you will be doing other stuff in the years to come.

I got pregnant with DD1 when on a career break which was totally terrifying as I thought I'd never then work again. We got married when DD1 was 15 months. We've only just got a mortgage and it's all a bit scary! There's no right path to all of this at all.

Thanks greenstone it's just hard not to worry isn't it. I think it's mainly because I found out I was pregnant so late on, I feel a bit forced into being a mum? That's a horrible thing to say I know.

No it's not! It's totally understandable. It must feel a bit panicky and frustrating at times? In fact the whole finding out so late thing must have been really quite traumatic but it sounds like you coped with it so well and your DD sounds like she's thriving. To be honest, I still can't believe I am the mother of two humans. It's daunting.

Yes, it's hard not to worry. I still worry a lot, about whether I'll ever have a permanent job again (not even sure if I want one - am self-employed) and if DH's job will change and if so what effect that would have on my sanity family and what on earth my life will be like in the years to come. I have no idea! But I think that's the case for many people these days.

Its not a horrible thing to say - I think I'd feel exactly the same if I found out at 6 or 7 months or whatever you were. Like the universe just dropped a baby in my lap and then promptly fucked off and left me to deal with it whether it was my plan or not.

I think its just the loss of control you're missing. Be it baby, work or house its all been a bit out of your hands. You must feel like you're not the driver of your own bus so to speak.

I don't have much advice. I know sometimes you just have no choice to be bobbed along on the current as there are fundamental things you can't just click your fingers and change. But try to imagine that in 6 months time you'll be feeling a lot more in charge of things.

My mantra has always been "The only way out is through". I've lost count of how many times I've whispered that to myself over the years, lost in the mire of life-shit. It helped me, it may help you too.

ark The one thing I always try to bear in mind in there doesn't seem to be a right and a wrong way to do this bit of life. I have met so many other mums (the joys of needing to get out the house and talk to random adults) and each one is doing it differently. Every single one of us doubt ourselves on a daily basis. From what you say on here you are doing a grand job. We always want what we can't have. I would like to be a SAHM but we can't afford it so we found a compromise at me going back 3 days a week. I don't like my work but needs must. I am hoping, like you, that in the future there will be some space for me to carry on training.

Massive massive massive and and for all of you. Thank you for restoring a bit of faith in myself.

I am so so so glad that this group exists

ark out of context it my sound ugly to say that you feel like being forced into motherhood, but in your case it is very true and honest. Most of women falling pregnant unplanned have a "luxury" to come to terms and at least an option to make decision "keep it or not". Weren't you 35 weeks when you found out? In 36 weeks baby is full term! You have done amazing to not go bonkers or get pnd or anything. You are very strong person and shouldn't forget about it.

Do you plan SAHM short, mid or long term? If it's short to mid definitely study something. If there is a qualification in your field what would enable you to go back to job market on a higher level or something you always wanted to do - go for it. You wouldn't be able to do it if working full time and caring for DD, not the next few years anyway, so take advantage of it and return much stronger and better. Or maybe this is a chance to start your own thing?
I came to UK in the height of credit-crunch employers were making accountants redundant not hiring plus I didn't have UK qualification. Hence out of job for about a year. The only thing why I didn't go nuts was because I intensively was studying to be a UK qualified accountant, it would have taken longer if working full time at the same time.

Look at it as an opportunity to do something great, turn your life around, make few steps towards being on a property ladder or anything you consider worth while. Go girl! :)

ark I kept trying to write something last night but couldn't get the words right, but others said what I wanted to. Basically, I was going to say that it is hardly surprising that you feel like this. As someone pointed out recently, this time last year you didn't even know you were pregnant. Probably all of us are struggling to get to grips with either returning to work or becoming a SAHM, but the rest of us have had a lot longer to come to terms with it. Also, being a SAHM is hard. My job is hard and combining it with being a mum is very hard and I am very sad at the thought of going back and leaving DDs, but, to be honest, I know I couldn't be a SAHM. You definitely need to find a way to get some adult company and some time to yourself without DD. Make sure you talk to your DP about how this will happen. Remember looking after DD all day is like your job now and you still need time off even from this job.