August 2015 - Let the Sleepless Nights Commence

[nolongerwaitingfornumber2]

My DC2 was born on 5th August and I'm up in the wee hours feeding away. Anyone else with their August babies care to join me?

I still can't believe he's here and in my arms!

love whilst I'm not in exactly the same position as you I do understand what it's like being without family nearby. I didn't think I'd find it that hard, having always lived away, but I've really missed my family being on hand and I'm instantly jealous of folk who have that. Plus since I'm new to this area I don't know have any friends yet either - thank goodness for FaceTime!!! DH has his mum nearby but I'm not close to her in a 'cry in your pyjamas that you haven't changed in 3 days' kinda way!!

nolonger what a situation to be in. Knowing you should move but not wanting too. I'm used to moving with DH being in the forces but it doesn't ever get easier. And yes I'm still hormonally emotional. Actually wondering if I'll have s period soon or something...

I think the big thing with blokes is that they have trouble adjusting emotionally to it all and therefore take it out on us. Bunch of dicks the lot of them!!!

And hello lily!! Glad you found us!

Oh and since we're showing off here is mini mzzzf smiling at me instead of sleeping in her moses!

Oh and Dozy you need to give Mr Dozy a dig in the ribs coupled with a 'don't mess with me stare'! He's being a bit of a knob re the dinner. You did a bloody great job!

joskar yes to book club! There's one on the patch here and I'm tempted to go to be sociable! Apparently reading the book is optional!

frolic dummies rock!! If rather encourage mini mzzzf to use that than her thumb. Dummies are easier to 'accidentally' lose later on!!

Dozy Fergus does the fussy feeding thing, too. Someone told me that the pulling back and moving the head side to side and punching is meant to stimulate your flow, so it actually means he likes the milk and is trying to make more, which made me feel much better. The painful scream, though, he's just started doing as he's developed the reflux in the past couple of weeks. Could Piper have a touch of reflux do you think?

Your DH is absolutely being unreasonable, BTW. I think the occasional row like that has to happen though - I had one with my OH because I left him trying to settle Fergus for 10 minutes while I changed the bedlinen. He eventually apologised though, and I've been trying to make it clear what my days are like since then. He hadn't realised that sometimes I can't settle Fergus either, and I'm carrying him around trying one thing after another while he screams, so he thought it was unfair that I hadn't immediately stopped and fed him (he had literally just come off the boob, he was crying about his nappy). I've been making sure to tell him about how I had to carry him in the sling while pushing the pram because nothing else would help and about having to do an impromptu feed on a park bench while watching a junkie sick in a bin so he doesn't get the idea that it's all cuddling and having a little holiday....

Morning. More gorgeous babies!

As for men, they just don't get it. It took until my DD was around 5 month old and then I finally snapped (when DS1 was born I was living with my mum)
I said if its so fucking easy you do it.
So the next day he did. 10pm came, the housework still hasn't been done, DD had been stuck in the walker all day and DS was asleep on the sofa!

He hasn't complained since if I ask him to help out

What a night! Two hour wake ups and every hour from 6 to 7. Up at 7 and refused to nap until I finally got him to sleep at half 8. Up now for a feed phew but at least I managed a shower!! He is so fussy and gets overtired the last few days
Need sleep!!

Have any of you seen this Mitchell and Webb clip m.youtube.com/watch?v=uLIDkIbKKlk

Robert Webb said he wrote it after him and his wife had a baby and would coo at the baby then snap at each other. Fatty I like your style with your dp.

Dozy baby kbro is also still fussy at the breast. I am relatching him every few at the mo. It's so annoying (esp if I am trying to post on her or look at facebook ) but don't think it means they don't like the boob. IS frustrating though. And v confusing. I think with Breast feeding the problem is when you think you've got it cracked something comes along to show you otherwise. Oh and piper is super cute. That outfit is lovely too.

Mzzzf I know what you mean about missing family. I've lived away for years but now suddenly want to move home and pop in to see my mum every day.

Loves you are doing amazing with 6 kids and no family and busy DH. God for all I moan about DH pat leave was a godsend.

Right I have a nappy change calling. Happy Friday everyone!!

Oh and Nolonger yes. Still v emotional and hormanal. Everything on TV makes me cry and I never used to be like that. And not sure that helps me and dh as stuff he's says that I would have normally laughed at and bantered back at now I really take to heart.

Loveandsmiles, sorry to hear about the lack of RL support, but you have us for all of the psychological side which I hope helps!!! :). The man in the gym sounds like a keeper ;)

Mzzzf, I agree with fatty, baby steps at first, stay very local but getting out really helps my mood and makes the day go so much quicker!
Totally sympathise with DH! Mine has been similar, he is out tonight though so last couple of days been on best behaviour. I plan on giving him the baby for most of the weekend...

Clstow, doesn't make you sound bad at all! Think we're all a bit like that. A break definitely makes the heart grow fonder too :) hope you had a really good time, you deserve it!

Frolic, he's so cute! Well done on persevering with the dummy! Hope you got a grand night out of it! Love his outfit too!

Nolongerwaiting, we're a knuckle sucker here too! Sorry you're feeling emotional :( I hope you have a better day today and a good weekend full of family time

Welcome lily!!!! Hope you and LO are well my love!!

Dozy, molly is still doing the frustrated thing too, am just trying to persevere it is frustrating though. Sorry to hear about your row, could it work that your DP could look after piper for your next ww meeting or would he be at work? That way it's win win all round?

Joskar, hope book club was good! What book are reading? I've got 'wool' for ours, really enjoying it but struggling to find the time atm!!

Gahhh lol a load more messages since I started writing that lol!

How cute is mini mzzzf!! Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!!

Is it weird that I'm actually less emotional? I used to cry all the time and hardly at all now. Has the sleep deprivation killed my tear ducts?!

Talk to me about bras. I'm flapping about like Charlie Dimmock* here. What brands are people using? When did you get measured? I'm four weeks pp. can I go now? Will they change size again? I've totally forgotten. My Hot Milk ones are too small and my other one - forgotten the name. Begins with an F I think - gives zero support. My boobs are bigger than the baby's head. I need help!

Have downloaded the Tesco app. Today is the day I get my shit together re grocery shopping. Nearest supermarket is 20 miles away and I am never taking dd1 there ev r again. Is a total nightmare. Need to meal plan and click and collect/delivery. Last mat leave Dh didn't get a wage the entire time I was off. This was how I saved money. If you aren't in the shop it's much easier to resist!

I think partners find it difficult to know what to do with the baby when they can't feed it. Giving them responsibility for an aspect of the looking after can help. My Dh is in charge of nappies and laundry. He had to be taught how to do it. He never used to do my laundry or the baby's. Just his own work stuff was his responsibility in his crazy mind! It's easy to fall into the trap of being chief cook and bottle washer when you're on mat leave. Last time when I felt this happening I nipped it in the bud by giving him a list of his "share" of the jobs. Mat leave is for you to have time with the baby not for you to end up with all the chores. In the pre baby time you didn't do it all so the same applies. It's not a holiday. I didn't enjoy it that much last time. It's easier this time because I'm calmer and less stressed and I know folk but I cried every day last time. I felt so isolated and overwhelmed. Thanks be for online forums!

Milk drunk Cora in the picture.

*totally showing my age now!

She looks so pleased with herself joksar she's beautiful. I am going into town in a minute. I need kitten food.
Have you seen about the three day nanny? She is struggling with her newborn. It's highly amusing as she was so know it all before and now it's a sort of reality check

Ahhhh how cute is Cora!!! One of my fave names too!!! Love the idea of giving DH jobs, am going to schedule in a chat to do that this weekend.
Molly has passed out on me after using my nipple as a comforter. Trying to express with my other hand, need an extra set of arms.
We're off for a walk round the park and obligatory tea and cake after with my friend who has a three month old, gonna ask for tips! Then as DH is out I'm meeting a friend for dinner to make sure I eat...that's my excuse any way x

Fair play to the nanny though. She's admitted its much more difficult with your own child.

Just realised how that first post cam across about the nanny! It looks like I'm being nasty when it's written like that! I'm honestly not. I've just always been a bit when she's going on about how they should do this this and this and how the parents were wrong, when she didn't have her own so how could she possibly know what it's like day in day out?

But now she does and she's admitted its entirely different with your own child. Sounds like the poor woman had a very difficult birth.

Ahhh I can't see the pic of Cora. Am sure she's gorgeous though Joskar!

And God yes I remember Charlie Dimmock. How did that woman garden with her boobs juggling about all day and TIE YOUR FUCKING HAIR BACK WOMAN!! Ooorrrfff - and reeeelax

Jobs lists eh?! Might have to scribble something down later on. It's hard on DH though as when he comes home, usually just before 7pm, he wants to see DD and give me a child-free break so I end up whizzing round doing dinner, laundry, kitchen etc

He doesn't even have to do food shopping, God bless the Internet!! Waitrose keep sending me money off vouchers for my shopping, I got £50 off last time and 2 bars of chocolate from them to say thanks for shopping with us! Sweet!

Oh yes to cake and then dinner out fanby!! Bloody well enjoy it

Off to google re the 3day Nanny now, verrrrrry interesting!

Just read her 'story' and WTF?! She's got her DD into a routine already, sleeping regularly and she had a nurse come to help her everyday for 4hrs!!! I'd feel pretty awesome having 4hrs rest/help a day. I can't leave mini mzzzf to cry it out though and I won't either.
Yes she still cries and screams etc but I'd rather she does it with me holding and at least attempting to comfort her than her be all alone crying and getting more stressed to the point of exhausted sleep!
Plus very lovely research says comforted babies are better neurologically developed, less clingy long term and more sociable and independent. I'm a fan of research!!!

Oh, I just saw her on this morning talking about how its so difficult and she's been in tears when she's been unable to comfort her
How you get a newborn into a routine I don't bloody know!

And I'm qualified to work with children and young people, from birth to 19!

I've never met a tiny baby with a routine.

I haven't caught up with This Morning yet (I'm a loser and have it on series link). Must say I wasn't a fan of the 3 day nanny lady, she was no supernanny jo whatshername in my eyes!
God I'm exhausted we've had inconsolable screaming for over an hour. She's finally cried it out and is asleep in my arms. I feel horrendous though her crying went through me so much I had to leave her in the room and go into a different one for 5 minutes to cool down :(. She looks like butter couldn't melt now. I really need that cake x

Joskar I was measured at 4 weeks and God felt so much better to be in a proper fitting bar. I got a Freya bra. My boobs are bloody massive. DS loves to nap on one after a long fed. They are much bigger than his head. Don't go to mothercare. They made a massive hash of measuring me and was so uncomfortable in their bras. The shop only had one Freya one in stock (so hard to find shops that cater for big boobs) but once knew it fitted ordered 2 more online and now just have 3 I wear on rotation.

Loving the baby photos!! So cute.

Off to google 3 day nanny too.

Loving all these gorgeous babies

Thank you all for all your kind words - nice to know there is 'virtual' support out there !!

DH works really hard and I don't deny him that but it is relentless with a baby. At least when our partners go to work they can go to the loo, sit down to eat something etc without a baby attached to them. Sometimes just getting 5mins downtime makes you feel better but there are days when this doesn't seem possible. Also my DH will sit and play with kids having great fun but is oblivious to mess round about him whereas I can't sit in a mess and stress about tidying up. Men are SO different!!

I don't think anyone minds a newborns cry - totally different to the never ending whinge of a toddler - yes, toddler DD I mean you

Am going to look at the 3 day nanny now - it amazes me how someone can give so much advice on childcare when they have none of their own.

Can't believe the weather is still so nice hope it stays like this for the weekend.......

I've just read the 3 day nanny thing. OMG! How could she leave a newborn to cry for that long? They only cry if something's wrong and surely a parents job is to at least try and work out what it is. Even if the cry is for attention, what is wrong with giving a baby who is only weeks old a cuddle FFS?

I'm also a big fan of research mzzf and there is plenty to say that well comforted and responded to babies develop better attachments and that has a positive impact on all areas of development.
Mini mzzf is beautiful! We really do have a bunch of good looking babies on this thread! I love the sheepskin underneath her. Would you recommend? I'm thinking of getting one for the pram this winter. And yes to using the dummy instead of the thumb and then 'loosing' it in time.

siani and dozy, ds also does the fussing, moving his head and punching the boob at times. It usually seems to be a sign of being overtired, needing to burp or wanting to change sides. He did the screaming thing when he was colicky, but that's better now. It might be worth trying some infacol or such.

fatty, I ike your way of getting dh to realise what hard work it is. Sometimes people, especially men, need to be shown rather than told.

Sorry you had a shit night magrat. Plenty of and today.

The clip is great kbro, thanks for sharing.

Lucky you feeling less emotional fanby. I'm crying at the drop of a hat these days. Enjoy the park and your meal out.

Cora is beautiful jockstar. I love them when they're all heavy and sleepy and milkdrunk.
My bra's are m&s. I'm currently rocking an f cup and the support isn't too bad. I've got a few different sizes as my boobs seem to go up and down all the time.

I hope you're all having a good day and enjoying the sunshine again! We've had a few visitors this morning and I'm going to attempt some housework this afternoon if ds is obliging.

How did I miss those beautiful pictures kbro and loves*! They are gorgeous. We really are a clever bunch.