December 2012: the one where they're all potty trained. Sort of....

[Barbeasty]

The old thread was getting dangerously close to 1000 messages, so thought I'd better start this one.

Nut with the best will in the world, that's school's problem

Goat imagine the level and variety of support on offer in the classroom about 20-30 years ago. That is the level of support I am expecting in Germany. I'm hoping that I'm wrong and /or if necessary we can find a good school for him.

Ah, OK maybe not then :( are you planning on staying in Germany permanently?

Sadly it's via experience with other friends.

One DD of a friend is very shy, she has selective mutism and dyslexia. One teacher thought her dyslexia was being "cured" by the therapy the parents had to pay for privately. They also had huge issues with the mutism and getting any kind of understanding from schools.

I'd say being a small kid, in kindergarten in Germany is brilliant. The healthcare here and the work done in a decent kindergarten is fantastic. But once they start school it is totally different state to state.

Anyway, that's a whole other thread.

Therapist was kind and supportive about ADHD and said that kids his age can be diagnosed.
Basically the test results she wanted to talk to us about showed that Ds is high up on the chart for most things - speaking, understanding, following instructions and physical elements all good. But she had to repeatedly bring him back to the test and if she had followed the test exactly he would have basically failed/ not attempted almost every task.

All in all positive. Just need to work on his concentration.

And yes, we're probably stuck here staying permanently DH won't move.

Sounds like you're clued up enough to support him, which is a huge help

WL, your boss sounds amazing. I hope you find something soon.

Nutella, H sounds very much like your DS. I was so worried when she started Nursery i was convinced they were going to call me in and tell me there was something wrong about her behaviour, but they haven't. I actually spoke to her teacher the other week to ask if everything was ok with H as her behaviour was so extreme at home. She was surprised when i explained about how she is and said that at Nursery she was one of the first in the January intake to understand the rules and routines and that she hasn't been told off yet. She told me that she knew it wasn't much comfort to me but at least H knew to behave when out and about with others.

Goat, how is R?

H was sat with my dad today when she announced 'grandad did you know F**k is a bad word' he told her he did and that she shouldn't say it. She told him she only said it so he knew it was a bad word. He must of said it at some point and shes heard him.

People are amazing. I posted my sponsorship page on fb less than 24 hours ago and people have already given £345!!! Restores faith in humanity. In case you guys don't know, I'm doing the 3 peaks challenge (climbing Ben Nevis, Snowden and scafel pike in 24 hours) to raise money for KidsOut.

nutella I hope ds just grows into himself. Maybe dh would consider moving if it came to it for the best interests of ds.

Well that's him told hales!

hales what about a clock that audibly ticks? I used to find that sound very comforting as I went to sleep as a child - I slept with an old watch under my pillow for years. I guess it gives something to focus on.

Thats a really good idea WL, thats a sound i always found soothing. We are looking for a soft bodied doll with long real-ish hair as she plays with mine to go to sleep. Also when she wakes up she always reaches out for my hair. Dp is bald so no chance of playing with his.

WL please share your fundraising page on our facebook group i would like to sponsor you also.

WL please share your sponsor page to the FB group!
I don't know if he will calm down. Although it would be nice . Looking at my family and DH's - my DB2 would probably benefit from an ADHD diagnosis and one of the DBIL is extremely bright and has explained that he has to be busy doing something while working hard on something. When he was studying he used to make little paper boats in lectures and classes.
If necessary, we will approach the family for help with paying for a school for DS. That's our back up plan at the moment.

Interestingly the therapist said that it isn't important to take him to lots of sport groups. It isn't about wearing him out (which seems almost impossible anyway ) but instead working on his concentration; so that he can do things which help him relax. It's also important that he has a feeling of success and accomplishment and can complete tasks and games. Otherwise he will stop trying things.

She is right, we have seen that. He will happily play one game, which is very simple, because he regularly wins. But if the game is too hard or too long we are setting him up to fail at it really because it requires more concentration than he can sometimes manage.

Sorry, I know this I'm very me me me right now, but it really helps to be able to write this somewhere and get it out of my head.

So thank you everyone for putting up with me.

WL just make sure you listen to your boss and remember that she thinks you're so good she's given you those options, even if you decide to leave.

Nutella good luck with it all. At least you're culturally aware of possible issues and want to make sure he's supported.

Hales we've been pleased that A has only been horrid at home, until he bit someone at nursery last week.

We're at hospital for attempt 2 at the tonsillectomy. We've made it past the aneatheatist this time, so fingers crossed!

nutella ds goes to a boys school and they are all a bit like that with regards to concentration and being active. We thought maybe it was just ds that was all over the place when it came to sitting down to practice reading or writing but talking to all the other mums I've realised that's just boys until a certain age!! Give him Lego and he will concentrate for ages building it and following the instructions. Loves to sit and be read stories about things that interest him
Etc. They are really good at school at teaching the boys in a certain way that gets their interest as different things work compared to the girls. I'd say your ds is still so young so give him time and then see where you are maybe in a years time and think you may find his concentration span has improved significantly. By then it'll be choosing school time and you'll be in a better position to see what school suits him the best.

wlmum your boss sounds amazing!!
Good luck with the op barbeasty! Hopefully this will mean your dd will suddenly make it an entire summer term at school with no sick days! sounds like you've not managed to go more than a couple of weeks without her having to be off poor thing

nutella of course we don't mind! Only too happy to listen.
beasty fx it all goes well. Your poor dd - the op will be tough but imagine the joy of no more sore throats and temps etc!
hales you are very kind - I will share it now.

The charity I am raising money is amazing - the CEO came to talk to our work (old work) about the work and there was not a dry eye in the room. So humbling.

nutella oddly enough this just came through my work e-mail & thought you may like to look it up:

Children treated for ADHD may just be young for their school year
A new study, by the Department of Psychology at Taipei Veterans General Hospital in Taiwan, believes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is vastly over-diagnosed when the true “illness” could in fact be immaturity, The Daily Telegraph writes. Behavioural problems, including poor attention span, impulsiveness, restlessness and an inability to concentrate, are often diagnosed symptoms of ADHD with three to seven per cent of British children prescribed drugs to improve their concentration. Ritalin prescriptions doubled to 922,000 a year over the past decade, leading to adverse reactions including weight loss, liver toxicity and suicidal thoughts. The Taiwan study dispels ADHD as a concern, stating that teachers may be inappropriately comparing the behaviour of more mature children with those in the class who may be up to 12 months younger.

Ddas That is interesting, do you have a link to anything more in depth?
I don't have plans to medicate DS, I'd prefer therapy - which we have already found really useful. And if necessary help at school for him. I don't know any other children his age that are as active as he is. DD spends longer colouring and drawing than DS.

My brother was a November baby, so old for his school year and bright, but super super active with very limited concentration. He wasn't diagnosed with ADHD, it wasn't really possible 30 years ago.

We're back home, minus 1 set of tonsils.

I'm getting by on less than 2.5 hours sleep. Roll on bedtime!

Hope she's feeling ok beasty and that you are having a great sleep right now!

Phew! Glad it's done now hope she makes a swift recovery

I was WL! And now I'm up at 5.30 after only 2 wake ups (DH saw to her but I was briefly woken for both) ready to leave for an important and full on whole day meeting which I'm facilitating. I really could do with another few hours in bed!

Hooray beasty although sounds like you're getting as much sleep as me