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Just Mumming Thread 7 - the grads grads cope with walking, own rooms and have little time for shagging

999 replies

LaLaLaaaa · 08/08/2015 04:11

New thread! Roll call...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ZylaB · 16/08/2015 08:29

Thanks pis

Brew for everyone having bad nights

Minion · 16/08/2015 09:29

Sometimes if we leave her too long she starts to cry but I'm getting to the point where I'm just going to shut the door and ignore. She's not hungry, no dirty nappy, just shouting and shouting.

cookielove · 16/08/2015 09:42

la we never used the wonder week apps, just winged arecway through but I hear positive things about it. We use a white noise app for E have done from quite an early age and have continued since he moved rooms, I think it is a positive sleep association and also helps drown out the hippo lady upstairs. We use our old phones so we can still play/use our current ones!

fleur your husband is a dick!

zyla holiday items: is lo eating? Things like bowl, spoons, bibs for food and bibs for dribbling! Plastic is better as it doesn't hold the heat like metal cutlery will. Also calpol or nurofen just in case!

min you can do a tame version of crying it out if needs be!

pis I only ever sterilised bottles and dummy's (which he never took)

Oh I can't go back and reread so I hope I got the right people there!

So we had E's birthday party yesterday, he did so well but cell asleep on dh just after we did the cake which resulted in a late late bedtime!

RPopz · 16/08/2015 10:00

Ah bless him cookie He must've had a big exciting day Smile

We use the white noise app on an old phone too. But BabySleep runs in the background too so you can still fb/mn whatever while it's on. White noise is God in this house.

Hugs min - sounds like we're in similar places x

Brew Brew Brew Wil

MrP didn't get home til 2.30, despite telling me he was getting the last train home at 11... Angry I don't know why I continue to be surprised at his dickheadery.

ZylaB · 16/08/2015 10:12

Yes, food things added to list, thanks cookie!

popz time for you to go out for the day and be late home? Give him the baby!

WilHarlot · 16/08/2015 10:14

I never believe the coming home time lie. Ditch minipopz on him with a hangover and go for a walk.

Also never sterilise anything except unwanted bottles and breastpump. But I'm a bit in the germs are good camp.

RPopz · 16/08/2015 10:49

Yeah I know. He had no intention of getting the last train home. He didn't even text. Just had a go at him and he actually said "is this just because I was late home?" Angry Angry Angry Angry My fb feed is flooded with pics of said night out too.

RPopz · 16/08/2015 10:50

I occasionally dunk Sophie giraffe in some boiling water but not much sterilising goes on here either! I did at the beginning though.

WilHarlot · 16/08/2015 11:34

"No it's because you're behaving like a selfish prick."

FurryScoob · 16/08/2015 11:44

Flowerspopz, I agree with wil you need to go out. Mrfurry came home at a normal time but I had a shit night with miniS so at 8 I woke him up gave him a baby & went back to bed for 3 hours. She's still alive & giggling, he on the other hand has decided we need a playpen & I must struggle to cope in the day on my own! Grin it's harder when he's here to help

Another non steralizer here, I gave up steralizing everything when miniS started licking the cat.

Pisghetti · 16/08/2015 11:56

Lol at cat licking Grin

WilHarlot · 16/08/2015 12:02

Grin Grin Grin

RPopz · 16/08/2015 12:42

Haha furry! Grin MiniP regularly gets a facewash from the dog and eats cat hair off the carpet so yeah.... sterilising seems pretty futile Grin

LaLaLaaaa · 16/08/2015 13:12

Morning!

Sorry to hear about rubbish nights - min, popz and wil you seem to be having a particularly crappy time just now :( I hope minimin, miniwil and minipopz stop being monkeys soon.

wil is there anyone who can come and babysit and give you a break?

popz that's shite that you're the 'default' baby caring person and he gets the night out. That's what I'm trying to get across to dh at the moment, that it's not fair that I am constantly stapled to the baby whilst he gets to have regular breaks (even if breaks mean work). It's not on of Mr Popz to expect you to be all day and night with mini :( and coming home late is shite. I would read the riot act if it were me.

zyla the vista is a pig to fold! I hold the handle but then I've also got to try to hold in the buttons at the sides at the same time. It's really awkward and sticks and I end up frustrated. I also hate the carry cot hood mechanism - how can you hold both buttons at same time as trying to lift it up/down??? It's also very heavy. I'll get used to it but I'm afraid yesterday when I was knackered and cranky it got kicked when it was refusing to go down and told it was a 'stupid fucking buggy' loudly enough that I'm sure my neighbours think I'm scum.

fleur have you inserted the book up Mr Fleur's arse yet?

boo equally tell Mr Boo stop being a tool! he wanted the child, he can bloody well pull his weight! As for crotch grabbing - I would be booby trapping my bits with a big claw spring trap to trap his penis next time he tries.

cookie that sounds like fun! Hope you had a lovely day!!

I actually deleted the babycentre app for the same reason you said wil, I got obsessed with the pregnancy one and wanted to not have that same 'must check app today' feeling that I had before. But the WW app will be good for if I'm wondering why he's perhaps being a bit more difficult and whether there might be a developmental reason for it.

I hear you all on the sterilising thing. I'm doing it just now only because he's so little, but I frigging hate it - hate all the faff that goes with it. I also hate that I'm never sure whether I should sterilise something again if it was sterilised and then has sat out on the side in the kitchen for a day. Should I? I sterilise everything once a day just in case. As soon as possible I'm ditching sterilising and feeding DS soil and taking him to crawl around on a horse yard or two. Never harmed me. Besides there is always cat hair on my boobs so it's not like they are completely sterile either! (yes, I have furry boobs)

I've just tried to put on the caboo again and I'm doing something wrong. I get the legs in the right place but then his head is wobbling all over. If I then secure his head it looks like he can't breathe properly. Bum. Going to take it to NCT class this week to get someone to help me.

We've conquered (ish) the choking problem. I now hand express the squirty start of boob out into boob pad and then try to keep him upright as much as possible. I let him do the initial let down and then take him off to stop him guzzling, calm him down and put him back on. It does mean I get pummelled with frustrated fists a bit, but at least he doesn't choke.

Also I think we've got to the bottom of some of our issues with the constant feeding. I've been following advice given about him being tired rather than hungry and now, once I know he's had a decent feed, I put him down to sleep. Previously we were following the shitty advice of the midwife at the hospital, that if he's awake he will always be hungry and to try to feed him.

At night he's pretty good about going off to sleep quickly, but during day it's harder. White noise app is proving to be a god send. Plus swaddling. No idea what I'll do when you're not meant to swaddle anymore (1 month old - is that right?), but perhaps he'll be a bit more easy by then as he'll be used to the routine? He will be fast asleep and then suddenly wake himself up with the mori reflex. It's very frustrating.

Bit of a barny with Mr La this morning. I do appreciate that he has been working and gets home at 2am, but to be fair I've been feeding a newborn every 2-3 hours for nearly three weeks now, plus the many nights I didn't get any sleep at all in hospital. So I do think it's a bit rubbish for me to do all the night feeds and he sleeps in until 11am :( I got a big sigh and 'it's not a competition' when I told him he's getting far more sleep than me when he complained about being made to get up.

Is it wrong to admit that I'm just not a big fan of bf? I'll continue to do it because it's best for B, but I hate being covered in stinky milk. I do love the bonding and connection and stuff of being able to feed my DS, I just hate the faff that comes with it - boob pads, smelly milk everywhere, sleeping in bra.

On that note - do not buy the sleep bras from Mothercare that I mentioned the other day! They are the most fucking uncomfortable things ever. My boobs fall out of it and then the boob pads fall off and I wake up soaking wet. Shite. I've written them a strongly worded email telling them I want my money back.

No one's invited me out at all since having miniLa, I just get loads of folk wanting to come and see him, but I'm too tired to make conversation for very long so I put everyone off. Bad La, need to be more sociable.

OP posts:
Fleurchamp · 16/08/2015 14:56

la I am wearing the Emma Jane soft crop too type nursing bras at night and quite a lot of days too they are comfy and a good price too £12/£13.

I hear you about BF, I was never keen when pg but have found it much better than expected. I enjoy time with S but hate, hate that it is all down to me - I have to get up at night, can't go out on my own and generally just feel tied to the baby.

Ooh, plus. Clothes. I hate always having to wear something that I am Bf in. I went months wearing a limited maternity wardrobe and now I have an even more limited set of clothes - what I can fit into and which is easy access to boobs Sad it's shallow but it's not making me feel good about myself.

I can so see why people choose to FF. I was hoping to get to 6 months at least but may make it less.

We have given our babies a good start Grin

The caboo is tricky - I find S's head has to snuggle down a bit and be turned to one side. I agree it seems like it's hard for them to breathe (S snores in it which is reassuring!)

Have had a chat with DH. Cleared the air. I have compromised on the routine by agreeing to keep a diary of feeds, sleeps etc during the day. I don't think he realises what I do all day - he leaves the house at 5.45am and gets home at 6.30pm for work. At weekends I think he has it easy as I am always here. He can eat, go to the loo, pop out as and when he wants - it is not the same as me during the week on my own.

He has also realised that it is not possible for me to stay at home all day, every day so that S can nap in his cot.

I do understand that it's not great for him as he comes home from work just as S starts his nightly screaming but I have it all day, every day. We have agreed to take turns during the week (at the moment we take an hour each and swap over) so that we each have two nights to ourselves per week rather than us both ending up frazzled.

We shall see!

PixieChops · 16/08/2015 15:24

Glad you've had it out with him Fleur, unfortunately there must be something in the water as now MrPixie is wearing the biggest dickhead hat!
Supposed to be having a nice day picnicking in our local National Trust park today and instead I'm fuming and sat in bed.
Last night ST (Stupid twat) came home after playing cricket all day- this was about 8:45. He orders himself some food and we go to bed. I imply that I wouldn't mind dtd but get told to "go to sleep and no" So I go in a bit of a huff as 50% of the time he rejects me.
Anyway wake up this morning and he's already dressed and being a bit weird. So I turn round and ask him what's wrong- get the usual "nothing" however I can tell there's something up so I keep persisting. Turns out he's annoyed because I wanted him to come home last night and he wanted to stay and have a few drinks with his friends after the cricket. Apparently that's why I wasn't allowed any sex either because he didn't get to do what he wants to do. Is he fucking kidding me?! Every week I am on my own 5 days a week (he works) and once at night whilst he trains (cricket again) and then some weeks it's 6 days I'm on my own and 2 nights because he plays. But apparently I'm unreasonable because he couldn't stay out an extra hour whilst I'm struggling to cope with a crying 8 week old and a teething 15 month old.
I've told him he's a fucking twat and under no uncertain terms is he even to breathe near me today because I'm likely to rip his head from his shoulders!!
He clearly has no idea how hard it is for me and just thinks of himself. What a selfish cunt! I've taken off my engagement ring and it's not going back on until I've had an apology.
All he's done all day is sulk and barely say two words to me. Can't believe I agreed to marry such a fucking idiot in the first place AngryAngry

WilHarlot · 16/08/2015 15:29

That sounds like a great compromise, well done Fleur.

The thing about bfing is it does get much easier and then becomes less hassle than using bottles all the time - so long as your baby takes a bottle and you can leave. So you might actually find that when you get to six months, you'll stick with it. Did you see that fb page Kato recommended the other day? - Can I breastfeed in it? UK. Sometimes people have some good outfit finds on there.

TBF La, I've had MrWil off for ages so have been luckier than most. Fun starts tomorrow when it's back to just being me again.

PixieChops · 16/08/2015 15:29

Oh and just one other thing. He doesn't drive so muggins here not only deals with 2 babies all day every day but I'm on a tight schedule of making sure we are all out of the house for 9am to take him to work and that I'm always free at 4 to pick him up. May as well just tattoo "mug" to my forehead because he doesn't appreciate anything I do and thinks buying me a top or some boots (which I ended up having to take back because they weren't nice and either too big or too small) is a way of showing me affection. When in reality id just like a hug every once in a while and be reassured that I'm doing a good job of being a mother to his children. If he thinks for one minute that I'm driving to the shops to pick up something for dinner he can literally sit on my finger and swivel. Not a chance am I going anywhere and if it wasn't for the fact that he's working with a Friend tomorrow and being picked up and dropped off I'd be telling him to get to and from work himself.

WilHarlot · 16/08/2015 15:38

Pixie I think I love you and your no bullshit attitude a little bit. But surely this ferrying to and from work is ridiculous? Is there no bus or train he can get? Or learn to drive at least?

You need to book an overnight trip somewhere without the kids and leave him to get screamed at for a night.

ZylaB · 16/08/2015 16:13

la ignore me about the fold on the vista, it's different on yours, I just looked on YouTube. I think it's something they've fixed for the new model. With regards to breastfeeding, I love it now. But at the start it was relentless, now a snuggly sleepy feed is just a lovely excuse for a snuggle on the sofa with her, it should get easier for you hopefully

RPopz · 16/08/2015 18:27

You definitely don't have to be more sociable La - enjoy this time with B. Plenty of time for visitors. Also, don't let people in without food and boot them out after an hour! We always had visitors outstaying their welcome and I'd end up in tears when they'd gone...

I hate hate HATED breastfeeding to begin with. Especially the relentlessness of it. But it does get easier, less painful, less frequent. People ask me all the time now if I'm going to switch to formula and I just think - why would I!? The hard part is over. These days I just whack my boob out and he does his thing. No carting bottles/ formula etc about. The clothes thing is annoying though, granted.

I used to go by the "once it's sterilised, it's sterlised" rule! I left stuff to drain on some clean kitchen roll in a dedicated baby cupboard in the kitchen.

I'm glad you managed to come to a compromise fleur Smile Is the gaviscon having any effect on minifleur?

The menfolk don't seem to realise that looking after a baby is as much of a job as going out to work! Mr P always tries to stay in bed while lunchtime on his days off... I just go in and dump the baby on him Grin

Actually had a nice day at the beach with his parents. Still not speaking to him though. MiniP ate about 6 tonnes of sand... ShockShock

Minion · 16/08/2015 19:42

I'm grrrrrrring on your behalf pixie!
They don't understand that eventhough they work, they get refreshments breaks, unlimited loo visits, adult conversation and me time in the commute.
We get none of that unless baby is napping and even then you have to prioritise having a hot drink to having clean hair!

We've another tooth! Number 3 come on down (seriously,, I'm getting sick of being a giant walking teether).

Naps have gone to shit. Long night ahead I reckon.
If you need me I'll be face down in gin.

RPopz · 16/08/2015 20:20

EXACTLY min!

Mini's sleep has gone completely to shit. Refused naps all day at the seaside. Slept in the car on the way home til 7... in bed grizzling now Confused

If I see one more picture of this frigging night out on my newsfeed I might implode with rage. Angry

RPopz · 16/08/2015 20:33

Aaaaand he's up again Angry I can't take another 10.30pm bedtime!! How do I rectify this!?

Pisghetti · 16/08/2015 20:50

Thing is if I were FF it would still mostly be all me except I'd have the extra ball ache of bottles to wash, sterilise and fill. For the most part I'm wearing my prepreg clothes just with a vest underneath to facilitate feeding. There's some high neck dresses that'll have to wait but that's all. BabyPis is having her nighttime booby now and I can hear DS getting the dishes washed. Score Grin