March '13 - packing up our troubles and getting excited about the new babies

[ecofreckle]

It's that time again. This thread is going to explode with squishy babies. Which is nice.

Oh Shattered you poor thing, I totally understand. No one gets how exhausting it is having a newborn, and a toddler, and then having to stick on a happy face and be nice to ILs at the weekend as well, unless they've had to do it themselves. I'm totally with you on that. I adore my ILs, they are the nicest, kindest, most helpful people on the planet, but since Babax arrived it would be fair to say I've had enough of them.

I hope the nights improve soon. Sleep deprivation is a killer. Could you get DH to commit to doing everything for a couple of nights in a row. Express or ff? You need a break or you'll become completely run down and succumb to some bug or other. Don't forget your body is still recovering from the birth. You need sleep.

Plonky I haven't had anything done about the TT as he is coping fine. The only time I notice him struggling is if I am tired, run down, and haven't had a chance to eat, which I imagine reduces my milk so he really has to work for his food. The rest of the time I have a very strong let down so he tend to get a face full whether he wants it or not.

I'm still in love with the double buggy, it's so well made and everything works logically without effort. The toddle loves it too. This morning we were going to put her in the back pack and Babax in the pram, but she was having none of it. She wanted to sit next to him, and spent the entire walk patting his foot and singing him songs. I get the feeling his toddlerhood is going to be a piece of cake as she'll play with him so I won't have to

Right, name. The Toddle no longer applies, as there is nothing even remotely toddlery about dd any more. Do we have an official next stage generic name? Eco I'm looking at you as our official thread organiser . No pressure intended

Worse I'm going to say this in hushed tones lest we come over all emotional at the sudden grown-up-ness of our PFBs, but I believe the next stage after toddlerhood is

Preschooler

Personally I feel mine has merely stayed atvthe toddler stage. But he's only been walking a year and we bought him a toy dinosaur today that he's completely terrified of, and a puzzle he can't do.

Shattered off to bed with you at every single opportunity. Single toddlers are hard. Babies aren't easy either. You are allowed to find it hard. Personally I wouldn't hold back - if the in laws ask how it's going, be honest. You never know, they might wash the pots and make you cups of tea.

I'm dreading my mum becoming as you describe. There's 4 years between me and my sister, and dsis started school aged 3. Although I'm finding this pregnancy more enjoyable she has no understanding of how knackered I get. She genuinely had
s told me that I just have to get on with it. Helpful! Means well but empathy isn't her strongest point...

Plonky Noooooooooo... surely not already!!! Could we not invent have an interim solution along the lines of a not quite so toddlery but really really not even slightly grown up name

On the grown up front, Shattered have you noticed a change in ds1 since the arrival of ds2? I found dd suddenly started acting older, almost as if she knew she wasn't the baby anymore.

Ds is still my baby. I found it difficult to admit he was a toddler never mind pre-schooler

I am still not fully recovered from my night out on Saturday and I didn't even drink. We got home at 3am then ds woke at 6am. Dm looked after him a couple of hours in the morning but it weren't enough. Ds refused a nap all day so we were all snoring by 7.30pm. Yesterday was a long and tiring day.

shattered so you are living up to your mn name. I hope you get to have a nap today.

My brain is still foggy so I will come back later.

Yes yummy. I signed up when DS1 was not sleeping at about 6m maybe, and they was the best name I could come up with. Didn't realise how inventive other people were!
worse I express for one bottle do DH does that. He is so busy at work but I might ask him to do an extra one this weekend. Last night was a bit better so there is hope! The ILs weren't helpful but they did entertain DS1 so that was good.
yummy how's the job hunt going? Or do you have one sorted?
I'm definitely sticking to DS1 being a toddle. Preschooler is just ! Maybe when he's 3. He does seem a lot more grown up worse, not sure if that's down to him or DS2 being so obviously newborn!

Nah I think we're a bit young for preschoolers just yet.

Ds is so funny. He has a tiny little cat toy and this morning he walked it along the ground. When I asked where it was going he said "cat walking to shops, buying strawberries". With a very "like, duh" tone to his voice. The tinker.

Worse I have no great ideas about terminology I'm afraid. I am only just graduated to 'toddle' and still often refer to Ecotod as a baby

I have two pieces of wisdom. They'll probably be irrelevant but I share just in case.

Firstly, abandoning an entrenched routine for a weekend of seaside excess doesn't necessarily end well. We had half hour car naps on both sat and sun instead of two hour cot naps. We had bad food and sugar. We had give into 'mummy I would like a blah blah blah please' in shops. These don't normally feature regularly in our days. The result was some excited highs and some very cantankerous tantrums. Normality has ensued and she seems a happier child for it. Wouldn't change the seaside fun we all had though. Just interesting to test the water with deviating from the norm, especially with sleep.

Secondly, if you want to raise a child who uses nice words don't let them listen to mog stories on repeat on way back from the seaside. We now have 'I hate this place' thanks to mog saying this when he realises he's at the vets. plonky you fellow mog fan I just realised there's a mog book where she dies....just ordered it....sad days

Best away as I am working and this was a cup of tea inspired message. I love the wisdom of the young plonky as shown in your last post. We're so bloody stupid in comparison

I tend to refer to Fartypants as my small person. Should see us through until she hits five foot ten.

Eco you've alarmed me somewhat. FP is in the Land of SomePlonk and I hear the routine is shot to hell. I'm going to suffer for it when she gets home, aren't I?

Stormy you might get away with it. It wasn't YOU who let her do crazy non routine stuff so she might just expect business as usual when she sees you. How are you with your child free time?

I came home to a lovely parcel today eco. I'm so pleased Thank you!

Sounds like seaside was, er, educational. We've learnt that ds associates staying with my mum with several Bad Things. Like not eating proper meals, and kicking up a stink at bedtime then up starving hungry at the crack of dawn. She tends to let sir do as sir pleases plus ice cream. He's a little bugger at her house but I suppose spoiling the dc is a grandma's prerogative. So Stormy I agree you may just escape the resulting poor behaviour because she won't associate it with you.

Eco is that Goodbye Mog? I daren't even read the blurb in my slightly hormonal fat sobbing cow condition. I drove past a field with a rather too prone/still horse this morning I don't think my eyes have stopped liking puffy yet!

I think we've decided on a solution to the dc bedroom conundrum, as it turns out it's possibly not possible to house two small people in one 6'x7' room.

Are you going to move house then plonk ?
eco you're so thoughtful to other people. glad you had fun at the seaside. We skipped a nap last week and he was falling asleep at 5pm! So won't repeat that for a little while.
I got tearful at a tv advert today plonk. WTF? So an inert horse might have got me too!

Six foot by seven sounds doable for a nursery containing one baby. Two small children isn't going to work, unless you go ultra minimalist (two sets of clothes apiece and if they're grubby so be it), or maybe have them sleep in a big hammock strung up near the ceiling. So what's the plan?

Childfree time has been marvellous. I crocheted, I listened to a great deal of major chords, I bought more wool, I indulged my inner carnivore, I stayed up until 1am and didn't get up until 11am, I had a Game of Thrones catch up session and watched six episodes in one day, I visited my mother who has been hallucinating, I gave the neurotic cat a very lengthy snuggle. It's been grand!

Sounds lovely Stormy. I love having days to just potter and do whatever I please.

And goodness me no, I'm not ready for another house move for years. At this point the only way I'd consider moving is if dh was offered a job in another part of the country for a significant pay increase.

The box room is taller than it is long. I was interested in testing out an ingenious pulley system (think baby nice and low, toddler suspended a good four or five feet above. Ipad sellotaped to the ceiling. No clothes, just pants for all to minimise washing) but we decided that this is not the best plan. As much fun as it sounds.

We're giving up our enormous spare room. The dc will be sharing until we get a lotto win. Obvs Bungle will be in with us for ages anyway but that's the plan once he/she is sleeping through. So its a mega furniture order and a trip to the shops with ds to let him pick out bedding for a big kids bed in the not too distant.

Speaking of moving him into a single bed, there's obviously no rush, but...I was thinking of putting his cot and his will-be bed in his new bedroom and just letting him pick which he feels like sleeping in. Is this stupid?

Oh I didn't realise you had a spare room plonk. Did you move house recently? I feel like you did but don't trust my non existent memory. I reckon then that you've got a good year -18m before you have to move the kids in there together, then maybe 2 years after that you could put bunk beds in the small room and reclaim your nice spare room?

I am fed up of breastfeeding. There- I said it. worse how the hell did you manage to express enough to keep a supply going for 3 weeks whilst you were poorly?! Getting one feed out for me is such a hassle but if I don't then I get no sleep. Agh. Of course I could just give formula but I've forgotten Again to get any from the shop (!). Plus I fed DS1 for longer than I wanted months so feel like I can't give up now. Bloody hormones.

Shattered I found the constant nagging from everyone and anyone (except for you lovely people on here) to give up, great incentive to keep going . Oh and Wotta's double pump really helped. That said, despite all my efforts Babax is doing his utmost to self wean so perhaps it wasn't worth the effort after all.

Formula is fine though, there is no shame in using it, if it gives you a break, and some sleep, and makes life a bit easier. Bf-ing is a much bigger task with your second as finding the time and the energy when you have another dc to look after is more difficult.

This week has been fun, as dd and I have discovered the joys of cooking together. I'd been deferring that one on the basis is was a recipe for much mess and many disasters, but actually it was fun, and results were surprisingly edible. Worselet (as she is once again, 'The toddle' being just wrong now) is ever so slightly dirt phobic which makes for really quite tidy baking. I must be one of the few mothers who worries about whether it is normal for a 2 year old to get a pile of wet wipes and start cleaning the floor with them. Is it normal???

I have finally pinned DH to scheduling a time in his diary when he can stay home alone with both , while I go up to the hotel to sort out the accounting systems, budgeting etc, and get a proper handle on the business. He is trying to convince me it would be a good idea for us all to go i.e. I look after the dcs and work while he does important man jobs. I have said no. Emphatically. Funny that.

PS i have a sneaking suspicion my SIL has been following me on here for some time. So I'm going to wave in the hope she goes away

I've been thinking of the hotel worse. Looks like we might need to be in that neck of the woods for a reason in August and we have been toying with trying to make a few days of it. I guess you're fully booked though!

Sorry you're struggling shattered. How old is mini shattered now? It was a good 6-8 weeks before is settled into it (and that was mixed feeding without a toddle).

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I lurk on other postnatal boards to see if I recognise my rl friends. I haven't found anyone so far.

plonky I am not sure how small ds bedroom is but I am guessing it's a box room. I think when the time comes turn the small room into a guest room and the dc have the bigger room. From my experience toddlers can be more adaptable than we realise. Pick out new bedding with ds and tell him it's for his new bed. Do this before the baby comes so he is settled into his bed.

I saw a pic of you on fb and you have a very distinctive bump. I am so excited for you.

worse thankfully ds is like this too. I thought it was because he watches me clean so he copies me. We go through a lot of baby wipes in this house. I love the person who invented them.

shattered I am waiting for interviews to be scheduled for the end of this week or next. I really do love being at home at the moment. I am not bored yet. I like having time for myself whilst ds is in nursery.

Please don't push yourself and don't feel guilty. Do what is best for you and your family.

Yep we moved into our very first place with our names on the mortgage Shattered Am not quite ready to think about moving again soon! Not sure we could ever fit bunk beds in the box room, but I think our solution should keep us happy for the foreseeable.

It's a minefield knowing what to buy and what not to! We don't need much, but that's the problem. Last time it was great, we just needed everything, so much easier.

Sorry to hear the breastfeeding's getting you down. I obvs have no tips, but I do hope you are able to make a decision you're happy with. If it's just the bottle at night could you use those premade cartons of formula for that, and just ditch expressing for now?

Worse toddle cooking can be fun! DS likes to stir pans of sauce. I have had to stop baking with him though, as he has begun to stick his wet icky fingers in while I'm creaming butter and sugar, then loudly declare "MMMMMM! DS likes sugar". Excellent parenting that ;)

I am being far too procrastinaty.

worse I have a clean freak too. DS requests multiple wipes during particularly messy dinner times to clean his hands, and has to pause during messy play for a clean up break. It's quite nice really

plonk I think your room arrangements sound very sensible. And I think it's a good idea to put a new bed and his cot in the new room until Bungle comes for him to choose because that way you give him the choice to phase the cot out.

DS really took to the potty before he got ill but since then it's all gone out the window so we're casually trying it again, and it's already proving successful. I'm looking forward to the summer to have a bare bottomed boy running about the garden!

I'm so fed up at work. I leave in 4 weeks and it's draaaaagging. I just don't care about anything there now so it's hard to muster up enthusiasm. I've just been wedding planning today. I have a project to do, sitting there glaring at me, but I've been sorting out cakes and invitations instead...meh. I've received lots of presents, cards and letters from the kids too. Hopefully I'll get 4 weeks worth after this!

Wotta really? That's kinda scary...! I don't think we've had anyone we know stay yet although my mum is threatening to do an undercover visit in the vein of a hotel inspector. Fingers crossed you like it, if you decide to stay.

Yummy I guess it isn't surprising I've been 'found', as after the radio 4 thing, I was pretty much outed as a MNetter. Makes me a bit at the things I've said about her DB. Not that though. He is the adored one of the family. Does no harm to dull the sheen on his arse occasionally .

I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one to have raised a neat freak. I was beginning to think I'd given her a complex!

Interesting evening tonight - 2 hours of screaming, both, simultaneously. On the upside they must be exhausted now so should sleep well. Every cloud and all.

Something I hate to wish your life away on your behalf, but here's to those 4 weeks flying by

My eco-inspired fears were unfounded. Bedtime was a doddle. She tried to kick off about having to go to sleep. I calmly told her, "You can lie here and sleep or sit here and scream, it's your call. I'm going downstairs for a cup of tea though." She continued grumbling as I left the room, but all was silent by the time I got downstairs. Is this a parenting masterstroke, or is it kind of mean?

Good on you *Stormy, ds would be hysterical at that ultimatum if he was just in no mood to go to sleep. We've previously done the "you sit here and calm down, I am going for a wee" trick to limited effect. Although he self settles so well that I would definitely be stumped by a bedtime tantrum (which has now jinxed it, it's bound to happen).

Worse I guess there's not even much point in namechanging if your fans know you mainly post on this thread. We'd have to have secret threads with Bletchley Park type titles. Operation Worselet Who? Isn't the most stealth.

We've had an alarming update on dh's grandad. The thing he went in for is actually fine. But he has an aneurysm on his aorta . No idea what course of action they'll even offer him, if anything.

Something I reckon you can get lots of wedding planning sorted in four weeks!

I only tried it because I'm stumped by bedtime tantrums too. Only thing I could do to make her happy is get her out of bed, and that's counterproductive. She slept for thirteen and a half hours and I had to wake her up. Adjusting to no nap is clearly knackering.

something I thought you was going to be working full time in your current work place. I am sure the kids will miss you.

stormy is dd not napping at all now or just the odd days?

wotta how is the new car?

eco I saw a yurt on mr tumble this morning and I thought of you. I wondered if it were yours.

plonky how is dh's grandfather? I am sure it's stressful for everyone at the moment.

Is everyone enjoying the warm weather?

I have 2 interviews next week eeek. I hate interviews. I am spending most of my weekend preparing for both of them. If anyone has any interview tips I am all ears eyes.