March '13 - packing up our troubles and getting excited about the new babies

[ecofreckle]

It's that time again. This thread is going to explode with squishy babies. Which is nice.

No naps at all now. I miss them, but I love the way my evening now starts at 6pm. Although she may not in fact have gone straight to sleep the past two nights. Just went into FP's room for clean clothes (she lost a fight with a cornetto) and realised I could hear the telly through the baby monitor. It seems when I unpacked the monitor on Wednesday, threw it at the man, and told him to plug it in, he didn't actually check which bit goes in which room. Whoops.

stormy the baby monitor mishap made me laugh.

I presume it's frowned upon to consider giving toddlers tranquilisers. Shame. Ds has run me absolutely ragged today, and as a result I feel like I've had tranqs but he needs them. He's doing laps of the yellow rug in the lounge in between pestering daddy for beer.

Yummy I'm sure you'll be fine in an interview, good luck! Thanks for the compliment the other day too, I forgot to say so at the time
not sure how dh's gpop is, but he's home at least.

Stormy we miss naps a few times a week. Seems to have v little impact on his sleep somehow. Wish he'd go to bed at 6 tonight as I feel I could do with some of that! I'm impressed you persevere with a monitor, don't think we've used one in about 18 months.

Wow my poor parenting is shocking even me today! Could really do with a glass of cider too, just to nail the feeling home

My sister was getting all nostalgic watching Fartypants running up and down the length of the house after her bath. Running is always a popular toddler pastime, but naked running even more so.

The baby monitor isn't something I've persevered with as such. It's just easier than going to the bottom of the stairs to listen to whether she's awake. It's always turned on so there's no effort at all!

We have had a good day today. DSis and I had duck and bacon sandwiches for tea. FP kept saying she wanted some bacon, so my sister gave her a bit. She loved it, and kept coming back for more. Hallelujah! Bacon sandwiches are officially on the menu.

I wish we had new food on the menu. I made home made chips, meatballs with salad. Ds walked up to his plate and said "yuck" then walked off. This fussy eating is really annoying.

Yummy have you tried telling him he isn't allowed any chips, meatballs and salad, because that's special food for mummy and daddy, and he has to have weetabix (or something equally boring and uninspiring)? Worselet has very strong views on not being allowed something. Whatever it is becomes the only thing she has ever wanted in her entire life, and she'll strop endlessly until she gets it. Worth a try anyway

Stormy we still have a monitor as well, because otherwise we wouldn't have a clue what she was up to. I'd rather baby her than go upstairs to find she's been awake for hours and has deconstructed her entire room as a protest. Given we also have a monitor for Babax things can get a little muddled on the rare occasions both are in bed before we crash out

Classic parenting fail of the week, it has just dawned on me that I sent Worselet to nursery in a nightie on Friday. In my defence in the fuzzy light of early morning it looked like a summer dress. She further confused me by declaring it to be 'nice' and preening with an air of someone who thinks they look absolutely gawjus. I'm hoping noone there is familiar with the Sainsbury Tu brand multipack of age 2-3 nighties... otherwise I may have been sussed

Today is odd in the extreme as to make up for all those days, and nights, the interminable nights, of coping alone while he is away DH has take both dcs to visit his parents today. I feel like I am missing a limb. Two limbs even. I have been instructed to catch up on sleep. Like hll. Why would anyone sleep on a day like today? So far I've cooked a sausage, lentil and porcini casserole (boar sausages Plonky*, you'd be proud of me), done a stack of washing and ironing, been for a walk, cleaned out the pantry which was grim and full of dead woodlice, tidied up many many toys, and made an appetising and edible lunch and eaten it at leisure. I don't even have indigestion. It's surreal. I never eat a meal at leisure, and I always have indigestion! I am missing them though. Especially Babax. DH has never had sole charge of Babax for more than an hour or so before. I know his DM and his dsis will have taken over by now, but it doesn't stop me worrying. Will he have given him some cooled boiled water for example. It's hot and the car aircon is very dehydrating! This is the kind of thing dads do not think of I may have texted him about it.

On the growing up front, we went to look at a school for Worselet yesterday. It is very very lovely, and aside from the fact she gatecrashed the high jump display by leaping up onto the crash mats and launching herself at the bar (which promptly fell off, taking her with it, whereupon she fell off the crash mats onto the ground, landing on her head and flashing her knickers for all to see) I think she made a good impression. DH was more worried about me however. The conversation as we left went like this:

DH: Are you wearing that?
Me: Yes (as an aside I think I looked nice, grey leggings, 'posh' top gathered flatteringly in mid thigh length, olive leather jacket... i.e. very me)
DH: Shouldn't you wear a dress?
Me: Why?
DH: Well all the other mums will be wearing a dress?
Me: I am not all the other mums. I didn't wear dresses when you met me, and I don't now
DH: Yes, but we are trying to make a good impression so they will take Worselet
Me: I look nice, I bet they'll all be jealous of how great I look (tongue in cheek )
DH: grumble grumble grumble.... but don't blame me when you get embarrassed because you don't look the part

First person I spoke to there complimented me on how great I looked so soon after having a baby, so regardless of what I was wearing their instant reaction wasn't omg we can't possibly have that awful tramp's child in our lovely school... it would soooo lower the tone

Men

That meal sounds delicious Worse can I come for tea? I'll can be there in four hours

Sounds like you've made the most of some child free time. I really need to take a leaf out of your book. Today I've been stuck in the tidy-one-spot-while-toddle-destroys-another-room. I've been a tired, stressed, shout kind of mum today and I need to learn how to take some deep breaths and distract him.

I've also been a shouty wife and abandoned dh and ds on a brief walk to the shop earlier to come home. Not good. I'm rather shame faced about my general demeanour at the moment.

In my defence, I must point out that ds is being a contrary little soul at the moment. He asked for sandwiches for tea. He was given sandwiches. He ate a few nibbles then rejected them. In this house you are allowed one strike because I can't stand the thought of children going hungry. He ate a tiny portion of cornflakes then threw yoghurt and an open pot of olives on the floor. He is now having a mega tantrum.

I believe this is thanks to no nap yesterday and a 5 am start today. Whatever the reason we're both close to tears. How the fuck am I going to cope with two?!

They are a trial at the moment, aren't they? On the plus side, at least you'll only have one two year old to deal with at a time (unless Bungle turns out to be twins).

Phrase of the week here is I want it! This is not tremendously helpful when she's gesticulating vaguely but refusing to articulate any recognisable nouns.It is quite frustrating for all concerned.

A trial is putting it mildly. We have lots of 'mine!' With appropriate whining obviously. Trying to change a nappy while someone's whinging about "mine poo! It's mine!" is amusing at least.

I did have a good cry shortly after posting and DH convinced ds to eat a banana (anything healthy offered by me is a ruse and actually poison). I'm perplexed by meal times. Nursery are fab with food but they've still got him in a babyish routine and he is used to dinner at 4. I want to move it back to 6 so we can eat together. I think this is a good solution to his fussiness but DH is often just walking through the door at 6.

I can't just leave can I?

Aw Plonky, sounds like you are having an identical pregnancy to me. The number of times threw an absolutely wobbly at DH for just existing ... and poor Worselet, there were days when I had to walk away because i.could.not.cope. It's hormones (I'm predicting a boy), and exhaustion, and the fact you don't have time for you, despite the fact you really need it what with being pregnant and all. Second pregnancies are 50 million times harder. Fact.

On the upside, everything becomes an awful lot easier when you aren't carting a bump round with you. The only time I struggle is bed time when DH is away, and that's because Worselet has never re-learnt how to self settle, after the holiday from h*ll summer 2014 where a combination of a big scary room with a stupid vaulted ceiling and no curtains, and the vomiting bug made going to bed by herself an impossible ask. If bedtime was as simple as reading her story, saying goodnight, and leaving the room I'd go as far as to say having 2 is really no bother. Your ds self settles doesn't he? You'll be fine

Stormy we have a variation on that theme. Here it is 'More!'. More can mean anything from more dinner, to more drawing, and it is never entirely obvious what it is she wants. This can get tedious.

When I say a trial I am of course trying to be polite. Diabolically infuriating little snot-encrusted whingebag would be a less euphemistic way of describing Fartypants at the moment. She has learnt that if you want a request to be fulfilled, saying please helps. She has not yet grasped the finer nuances of this social exchange, and cannot comprehend the failure of her repeated pleading to produce the desired result. It would appear that no is in fact not a complete sentence when you're two. It is an indignity which must be screeched out of existence.

She also has a remarkable ability to sense when I am getting dangerously close to listing her on eBay, and turns the cuteness up to eleven.

Fish pie followed by an enormous wedge of home made cake and off to bed to claw back some me time and read. Maybe I'll feel human in the morning.

Stormy in my darker moments I think the same of ds. It's so hard to remember to be patient when he's flinging toys around the room or refusing real food for the eighth time that day. I'm sure some can be blamed on teeth and the rest on being bloody two and therefore ignorant of civilised concepts like manners, and decorum. And that he won'tbe like this forever, I won't be pregnant forever, he won't always be teething and is actually very sweet when not destroying things.

But the patience wears so thin by the end of the day. I think I've been more stressed than I realised lately. Dh's grandad and the watchdog thing (and subsequent pay cut) and so much to do at home and being pulled in many many directions. All pales in comparison to a small person hitting you on the bridge of the nose with a five inch plastic digger at the end of a long weekend.

Worse I think dh is struggling to comprehend why I'm finding it stressful. I know he's having a busy time at work and don't want to load into him too much. I don't want to push him away but don't want to burden him either. Not sure if the snot face crying is a good compromise. Was this only alleviated by no longer being pregnant?
Oh and tell us about the school! Is it a long waiting list type job? Outfit sounds great btw. Love the "all the other mums will be in dresses" comment. Round here youd have to wear transparent leggings and a too short tunic. Oh my snobbery

Plonky I'm not sure DH's ever really understand why being pregnant and exhausted is a recipe for emotional meltdown. Especially if you like me sailed through pregnancy 1 looking and feeling amazing. We had a lot of rows, and I spent about 4 of the 9 months periodically telling him pack his bags and go. I wouldn't recommend that tactic. Get him to do as much as possible at home though and just go to bed and leave him to it.

The school is a small local private one. It's only £2ph more expensive than her nursery, but the nursery class there do swimming and stuff. No brainer really. I liked the atmosphere. It's very anti-bullying and teaches social responsibility. Having been badly bullied myself all I really care about is that my kids avoid the same.

Sounds likes great school worse. Hope they offer the worselet a place.
plonk panic not. You are perfectly entitled to feel as you do. Toddles are hard enough without added pregnancy hormones/ stress/ tiredness. I agree with worse I feel better not being pregnant. Not sure I have loads more patience though.., it will get easier. How many weeks are you now? I am envious of your home made carrot cake. Looked yum.
yummy how's slimming world treating you? eco how are you?

The app won't let me into the thread! Keeps booting me out grrrr.

Hello everyone anyway, hope sunshine is being appreciated by those who can!

shattered slimming world is great. I have lost just over 2 stone so far. It's coming off slowly and the best thing is I can eat things I like in moderation which makes me more likely to stick at it forever, I hope.
How is your scrumptious newborn?

plonky I am amazed you had the energy to make carrot cake with ds. I have yet to be brave enough to get ds to bake. I thought of buying the cake mixes but I decided against when I spent morning cleaning the kitchen. Baking with ds will commence when the floor needs mopping anyway.
Please please rant at us. We are here for you through shit times and the great times. Be kind to yourself.

worse I hope dd gets a place and your outfit sounded great. So glad you went with your instincts.

wotta have you been able to appreciate the sun?

So I had interview 1 of 2 for this week and I am exhausted. I am feeling the guilt of going back to work full time. Please reassure me I won't emotionally damage my son. I know I am won't but I just know our family routine at the moment is going to be turned upside down. Perhaps it will be good for us we will just have to see.

So when will the young un start Worse? Sounds a lovely school. Swimming lessons! Brilliant!

Shattered the cake has been something of a life saver today. Very tasty. Good to know it seems to be easier to have a small person and a teeny person than a bump and a small. I'm clinging to that!
Did you decide to ff or keep on with the boobs? Whatever you chose/will choose I hope things seem more bearable now.
I'm 17 and a bit weeks now.

Thanks Yummy, I totally needed that rant. I think working ft will be hard at first but perfectly doable with the right strategy. Amazed to hear you're two stone smaller! What fantastic progress. I bet you feel amazing - you've lost a toddle in weight!

Sorry all (and thank you) for being very ranty. But it really had helped. You know those times when you don't realise just how much things are getting to you until you start talking? Well, basically, that.
DH is away the night before our 20 week scan. Which is in a city centre at 9 am. Hmph. We're reducing ds's nursery hours a little so we can all have dinner together. And I've finally come clean and explained my postnatal worries to dh. Funny how the second time around it's bit childbirth I'm scared of, it's the few and after.

plonky I wish I concentrated on what happens after rather than the childbirth itself. I remember my first night with ds I said "oh shit what do I do now". I was upset with dm for not being honest with me. She said I wouldn't have listened to her anyway and I would need to experience it myself. I was imagining trips to have a coffee and reading a book with ds sleeping in the pram. That never happened.

Still boobing plonk. Tis a labour of love for sure. Not long til your scan then are you finding out what you're having?
yummy 2 stone that's impressive! Have you got any more to lose?
worse glad you made the most of your time off even if it was brief. Did you manage a dip? I'm desperate to get exercising again.

Plonky Jan 16, so not for a while, but I'm quite excited about it. It is a million times better than her current nursery, and much nearer.

Shattered I did, I make the most of any spare time to get in the pool. Exercising is really difficult now as I can't do the put them in the pram and swim when they are asleep thing, as dd no longer naps. It's a bit torturous at times, having the luxury of a pool and not being able to use it.

Plonky You'll find the newborn stage a lot easier this time. I promise you. The stuff you worried about last time won't even feature on your radar

Not a good week so far as we've had a break in at the hotel and lost a lot of equipment. We know who it was too, but have no proof

That school sounds lovely Worse. Will you have to get dd a tiny uniform? sorry to hear about the break in. It's horrible when it's your own business, we've had it a few times.
And thank you for the reassurance. It's mainly balancing the needs of a toddler with a newborn that I find baffling. Oh well, have been muddling through this far, a bit more should be fine.
Yummy I think my mum conveniently forgot the finer details of life as a new mum. But then I think I have too! I reckon if we'd had a good idea of how it really is we'd never have done it, it tips your world upside down. When's the next interview?

Shattered well done on persevering. Has it become any more enjoyable/easier?

Oof exercise. I Really ought to get off my increasingly large bottom and do some of that. I think yoga is a necessity, as my hip seized up the other day. I was lying on the sofa and it was like when a beetle gets stuck on its back
Ds is on reduced nursery hours from July. I think this is def the right thing for us all, even if it requires me to spin a few more plates. It'll be grand

No uniform for the nursery class Plonky but if she stays on there will be in reception.

Yummy my mum has conveniently forgotten a lot of stuff too, although on a slightly different front. I was having a minor whinge about DH being away every week, and got a lecture about how she had to cope as my DF was always away too... Like h*ll. He worked for the civil service and got home every night in time to watch the news before dinner at 6pm on the dot. OK so every so often he was away at a conference, and now and then they did a late run in the labs, but those were the exception not the norm.

Today is panning out quite nicely though. It was a nursery day so Babax and I had a mum and son morning while Worselet got to play with people her own size. I managed a swim while boyo napped in his pram and only had to get out twice to wheel him round the garden to send him back to sleep again, and DH will be home about midnight, so tomorrow morning will be less of a juggling match. This pleases me greatly.

Plonky, might help, I've discovered that the easiest way to get both to sleep is to put Babax's bed in Worselet's room when I am trying to settle them, and move it out when both are asleep. That's my top tip for survival if you are on your own in the evening.

I've got the eye twitch and have had for three weeks which suggests I should back off from something. < That's me

Funeral yesterday way down and around London and Ecotod had a day with childminder and then the childminder saint walked her back to our house, gave her dinner here, played with her, bathed her, read to her whilst we were stuck on the m1 and was generally a god send. Thank heavens for her and her patience and flexibility. And she does crafts so I don't have to . What's not to love?

Plonky sorry the stress has hit you these last few days/week. I have heard that everyone has a panicky phase when up duff with number two. Not that that helps but at least don't feel like a weirdo. Meltdowns seem perfectly reasonably to me. Seems your pecker is a bit more up now anyhow?

Yummy did you have your second interview today you svelte goddess you? How was it? Gut instinct?

Gerry love we'd love to hear your news. No exams are here is your timetable lighter?

Betty you're another that's been on my mind. How is everything? Are you on another glamorous holiday?

Shattered go your boobs go! What sorts of times is dh in and out of house? Are you finding a groove a bit more? More photos would be nice. I bet he's a whopper now!
Rainbow belated many
happy returns for your special birthday. Your holiday looked such fun. Are you an ice cream afficionado?

Worse will hours for Worselet alter in her new school? Will that give you more boy / swim time? And, when is your op scheduled?

Wotta the project ended or ends this week? May I do either a belated or premature whoop for you? I'm fact, have a double, you have a new car too: whoop whoop!

We're off on holiday on Saturday for eight days. Budget tastic house sitting on the south coast. We're excited. Ecotod requests making sandcastles, eating ice creams, having fish and chips, going on the train and going to coffee shops. Looking forward to obliging on those.

Anyone else addicted to mog will appreciate the theatrical flourish Ecotod is currently using to exclaim 'my baby, my baby!' in the style of Mrs Clutterbug. Bloody mog has a lot to answer for. And plonky, the mog dies book arrived. He grew 'dead tired' and died. He then kinda haunts the Thomas family. I've not let Ecotod see the book yet.

I just ordered an aquadoodle for a second birthday gift. I hope you guys don't tell me they are Shite....

Eco the holiday sounds smashing. I love that ecotod is a seasoned seaside type now and requests to do all that is right and proper when one is at the beach. We're having a jolly to Dorset in a few weeks and hoping that ds will entertain the notion of dipping his toes in the sea this time.

Aquadoodles ate great fun. We don't have one but nursery does. It will be appreciated.

I am feeling happier yes thanks, but worried about the scan. Not Bungle, s/he is a real wrigglebottom, but whether dh will be there. Furniture is arriving next week though so the house is coming together. The next task is to find a childminder a lot closer to home and get ds moved in the autumn. Your lovely childminder story makes me think it'll all be fine.

Worse what is it with mothers and memories? In my case it's my dad. He genuinely was absent most of the time (workaholic, still works 6 days a week at 61), and convinced that ds is g&t for doing fairly mundane things. Quite sweet but alarming how little he understands kids despite being a dad.
Ooh thanks for the tip. That bodes well, given they'll eventually be sharing a room!

Am now off to have a look on amazon at more mog books. I definitely enjoy them more than ds does but he loves cats. I asked him if he'd like to have a dog one day and he said "no, ds want Rosie" and pointed to our prissy little cat.

eco aquadoodle is fun. I played with it more than ds did. Your seaside trips sound fun. We need to book one ourselves.

shattered 2 stone is just the beginning of my journey I have a LOT to lose. I am determined to keep on losing. I want to be a loser

Our favourite book are the Spot books and any books with flaps.

I got offered the job from the Tuesday interview. They told me they would let me know Monday so that was an unexpected call this morning. I am now negotiating the pay. I am excited and scared of going back to work full time. It would be nice to have some money coming in again. It's been over 2 years since I worked full time. Time flies by.

Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather.