March '13 - packing up our troubles and getting excited about the new babies

[ecofreckle]

It's that time again. This thread is going to explode with squishy babies. Which is nice.

No, in your position I don't suppose it makes a great deal of difference whether it's childcare or education though. It'll affect you indirectly though - Bungle's school environment will be better if disadvantaged classmates have had those fifteen hours. Which if they're classed as childcare, they probably won't. Anyway. It's just something to keep an eye on.

Just popping on to say to all of you who wrote me lovely messages, and of course to eco for putting it together. Lovely to receive that In the post this morning especially as we'd had a slightly stressful trip out!! Thanks ladies.

Yay to the car wotta and lots of for you tmrw night!

So shattered you have to tell us why your trip was so stressful. Was it your first time out with both? Can imagine that's pretty hefty. It's lovely you received your card today. How did you know I had anything to do with it? I tried to be pretty stealthy. I even conducted an online liaison with your husband to get your address. He was very polite and I didn't mention that I was a crazy online person who's never met you

Education and childcare made me think. For us it's definitely childcare. Childcare she enjoys admittedly. I have much respect for the care givers. They know their early years foundation stage very well and plan carefully. I believe however that if Ecotod hadn't gone to pre school for a morning a week nor child minder for one and a half days a week she'd still rock up to reception with the skills she needed. I think this because I believe in non-education until six or seven. I have never a flash card shown, never a number taught, never an educational programme shown.... She has learned what she knows from just walking alongside me and listening to my incessant chatter. Poor or not, children can still learn from parents in that informal way with no need for structured things at nursery or similar. However! I believe that all parents have a right to subsidised childcare. I think that parents should be able to work if they wish without having to make bonkers work decisions based on costs of childcare, and also just to have some breathing space. Whether they work or not. So Stormy, I'm glad you're getting your hours now and I hope you get them in future too. None of that probably makes sense but I can't reread as I can only see last five words on silly phone app.

I counted my coppers pot tonight and we have 35 pounds so we're going to run away to the seaside on Saturday and then stay in a youth hostel. Ecotod will totally love that! I am excited too.

Wotta whoop whoop! Sexy wheels What celebrations have you got planned for the end of project? I randomly have three bottles of champagne here if you fancy a wee drive out

You've kind of hit the nail on the head there eco. Although EYFS is supposedly education, it's not exactly a classroom environment for 3 year olds. It's learning through play, which kids are good at given half a chance. So ds' nursery might have tick sheets with a numeracy column but it's too show that he is aware of the concept of quantities. IMO this is nowt to do with education and everything to do with proper support for a toddler, and that can happen across multiple settings.

After posting here I did some digging and there's been practically no detail given about proposed changes. A rather lively thread on MN suggests the 15 free hours would remain universally but there would be an additional 15 for households where both parents work. The govt might call them education, might call them childcare but nurseries will carry on doing what they're doing now I reckon.

I think we're going to have to start looking for more local childcare soon. we all love his nursery but it's a drive away, and there must be aneasier option.

Ds woke me just after 5 and is snoring on me. It's nice but I'd like to be asleep too!

Eco enjoy your jolly to the seaside! We're a bit miserable here. If anyone watched watchdog last night you might understand why.

Personally I can't see the point of speculating about what the government may or may not do in two years time. They have committed to the 15 hours thing, and anything on top of that has got to be a good thing. If the extra is only for working parents that seems logical, as non-working parents aren't losing anything, and the change may help them get back to work. It's mad that people are forced to give up careers they love as they can't afford to go back! No one has said anything about cancelling free hours for SAHM parents have they? Not that I've seen. It would political suicide. As would be turfing single parents out onto the streets. It would also plain wrong. Stormy in the nicest possible way you need to relax a bit.

Wotta new car! Yay. I need to think abut that as my current one is a gas guzzling wreck, and I need something a bit more efficient, but for now I've settled for a new pram. Can I just say the double buggy may have just saved my life. Older child travels everywhere holding the foot of younger child, and giving me a running commentary on whether the owner of said foot is asleep/awake/crying/happy/sad/hungry/whatever. It's quite useful.

Speaking of children, I need to get them both ready for the nursery run. It was vaccinations yesterday so I've been up all night, hence getting anyone ready for anything, including myself, feels like a challenge too far.

If you don't mind, worse, I think I'll pass on relaxing a bit. Remember that twelve billion in cuts that was all over the place before the election? When I'm in a position to be unaffected by those cuts, I might start relaxing. Until then I'll keep playing "Predict how this reasonable idea can be turned into a total disaster for the plebs". It's a depressingly easy game to win.

I can't help but speculate. I like to know what the next few years could potentially look like as in my experience, going on mat leave tends to throw a stable situation up in the air. Given what happened last night it all feels a bit nerve wracking. My head's swimming with job possibilities, childcare and how we need to buy all new furniture for upstairs before the new arrival. My brain has been a bit chatty lately.

Forewarned is forearmed I guess, but you can't exactly plan on conjecture. So yes Worse, you're right in saying speculation is of little use.

Ooh I think we're getting our new car in the next fortnight. DH is beside himself with excitement. So much so that he seems to have forgotten that it wad originally due on the same date as our next scan bloody men! If it hasn't got axels and if it can't torque they're just not bothered.

Glad to hear the double buggy has been worth it Worse. Sounds very cute.

I think the extra hours are a great idea but I think it is just going to be an idea and will be difficult to action. Where are these nurseries that can accommodate extra children? Will the government actually match the going rate of the nursery?

There are huge waiting lists at nurseries near us and sometimes you can't get the days you need.

Would calling it education/childcare be any different? Nurseries go by EYFS for all children.

I do wonder in 30 years time if the government will start pushing for a parent/carer to stay at home especially during early teens.

By going to nursery ds has learnt English, has learnt to explore different environments independently and has learnt we will be back to get him. He also has fab time doing different things he wouldn't do at home. My priority at this age would be him to be safe, fed, kept clean, and have lots of FUN at nursery. Amazingly he has picked up so much he has learnt colours, numbers and recognises letters and numbers now. He speaks in a sentence now. Me and dh are surprised with some things he does.

We also got a new car. Our bank accounts look battered. I better start looking for a job soon.

plonky good luck with deciding what to do about childcare when bungle comes.

shattered have you thought about what will happen at the end of your maternity leave? Hope you have recovered from your stressful trip out.

worse can you fit through doors with your double buggy? Years ago my aunt had one and it was huge. She couldn't around the shops with it.

I see Stormy's point on why semantics are important. While what a child does at nursery doesn't change if it's called education then that is designed to potentially fill the gap where those who had more disadvantaged backgrounds (likely to be poorer) aren't able to support their children in learning through observation at home. It's remarkable how much of what we do with the dc as second nature isn't to those who had dysfunctional childhoods themselves. It is harder to cut this. If you call it childcare and have parents who don't work then it's easy to say they don't need childcare and cut it. I think that is Stormy's concern.

New cars all round then! Trying not to think about bank balance and just enjoy it. Actually slept two nights on the trot without waking up every hour or so worrying. Have submitted my last piece of work for project today... Hurrah!!!

Nail on the head there, Wotta. And good points raised by yummy. FP isn't guaranteed to be staying at the same nursery because when I signed her up they're fully booked for 2016/2017 for three year olds. Double the free hours and you need double the capacity, when there's already a shortage. And there are already problems with nurseries charging extortionate amounts to cover the funding shortfall; increasing the free hours will push up the price of paid ones.

Also, it's very obvious that nursery has done Fartypants a world of good. It's aiding her acquisition of skills that she will need at school. Like eating nicely, and doing as the adult in authority says, and turn-taking, and all sorts of other stuff, that, yes, I teach her too, but it helps to have it all reinforced elsewhere.

Not arguing with any of that.

I have only 2 points in this discussion:

1. Speculation does nothing but get people worked up into a froth of indignation. It is pointless.
2. No government no matter how cash strapped will do anything quite so politically stupid as cut the 15 hours. Or put single mums on the street. Morality issues aside it would be the best way out of government going. Politicians as a herd can collectively be rather stupid, but I'm not sure any are that stupid.

Yummy, yes, it goes through a standard door! Someone somewhere worked out a slim line version would be a big seller. The axis is actually the same width as that of our single buggy.

Wotta to celebrate

More rain and hail today, but on the bright side a school friend dropped by. Nice to see a face from the distant past!

I'm agreeing with your point 2, worse - cutting it now wouldn't go down tremendously well with the electorate. It looks to me like reclassifying education as childcare would potentially change the public perception of the free hours such that it would no longer be political suicide. Rather like they did with child benefit.

4% battery and in bath so I'm keeping this brief! I may not have a new car but we are going to the seaside tomorrow and I'm super excited. I found a stash of coppers yesterday and it's paid for a family room in a youth hostel and a fish and chip supper. Bucket and spade packed! Easily pleased. Happy Friday everyone. What are y'all up to? We have sun tomorrow and rain Sunday around here ish.

4% battery and in bath - eco you live so dangerously!

I really must start a rainy day change jar.

Our weekend's looking a bit glum. Dh's grandad is back in hospital with blood in his catheter bag. He only got out a week ago. Various ongoing problems that he kept quiet and had refused treatment for some serious health issues. So dh is understandably feeling a bit down and preoccupied, and I don't think there's anything I can do to help. So I'm expecting an eggshelly kind of time, and I have some work to catch up on too. Double bubble.

Bungle's movements are being well and truly felt though, which is lovely.

I am out tomorrow night for a friend's birthday. We are all meeting at 9pm. That's my bedtime

Have a good weekend everyone.

Thanks eco. You were indeed stealthy nice of you to make the effort!
yummy have a good night out. Hope you enjoy it. Can you have a lie in tomorrow? We also have a double buggy but it's baby under toddler so no wider than a single, just longer.
wotta you probably said already but what car did you get?
worse how's that pool? not jealous and how on earth do you get time to go in it?! How's the sleep these days? I am knackered tired..
Hope your DH ok plonk. Finally I have remembered to ask how you and something know each other ; I assume it predates this group? worse same question to you and gerry?
Right nosiness over off got another feed.....

Shattered it was nice seeing the conversations develop as we got to know each other and realised that none of us are weirdos. We got talking about our broad geographical location and I think that's how the young wrinkle free uns got together and I believe worse and gerry share a hairdresser (a discovery made on here and then a meet up occurred). I think. I have been
lucky enough to meet those two as well. They are lovely of course, but their daughters were totally scrumptious. Next on my list is a trip out west to see you shattered now you have that squidgy bundle. And plonk and I will get together one day too I hope. I want to steal all the green accessories from her house.

shattered eco is right. Through this thread, plonk and I discovered that we actually lived quite close to each other, and we are a similar age, the first of our friends to have babies, and similar interests so we met when the boys were 3 months old and have met up nearly every week since. It's lovely to see the relationship develop between the two of them. And also, I think plonk's alright too. She makes a mean cheese sandwich.

eco I hope that when you venture towards plonk, I get to gatecrash. I don't have an array of green accessories but I can paint my nails green for you!

Shattered Eco's right, it was the shared hairdresser that swung it... although we had a lot more in common than that. We gave birth in the same hospital, 3 days apart and had the same doctor come in and rescue us when we needed a bit of help. Gerry took the plunge and messaged me, much to her DH's concern, who expressed concerns I might be an axe murderer who would bury her in the woods. My DH was of the same view. Fortunately neither of us pay too much attention to our DH's about such things

The pool taunts me on days DH isn't around to watch the dcs for 20 mins while I zoom up and down for a bit of stress relief. Those trips to Cumbria feel interminable in good weather! Actually they feel interminable whatever the weather. Child care is a killer when you never, literally never get a break.

As for sleep, we're doing ok. Just one night feed, and if I'm cunning about getting an extra blanket on him about 4am which is when the room gets pretty cold, he'll sleep through until 6.30am now. Ironically I prefer the night feed to be early, about 2am, rather than have him sleep through until 4am, as that way I know I'll get back to sleep before I have to get up.

Interestingly it appears Babax has tongue tie. No one picked it up until he had his second dose of rotovirus drops last week and the nurse noticed it. Might explain the constant nursing the night he was born - he was hungry . As postnatal was full I didn't have a midwife looking after me over night, so no one noticed. He feed really well after that, which implies it either isn't too bad, or he's a determined little baby.

Today we were going to go to London acquarium until we realised it was still half term. Maybe next week.

How's the bf going Worse? Did you manage to get back up to speed or did you keep going with ff too? Sounds like it's all settling into something workable which is good.

Shattered it's a Hyundai ix35. Not exactly swift out the blocks but loads of boot space and all (and I mean all) the toys.

Wotta I've hit the stumbling block that Babax being a boy is fundamentally a lazy little chap, and really can't be bothered to work for his lunch. He much prefers to cozy down and have a nap, before waking and crying for a bottle. I haven't the time to express every feed, so we've settled on a happy medium of mixed. If he's starving, he'll bf. If he's just a bit peckish he'll snuggle. Snuggles are good. What mum would say no to a snuggle? Unless you are in a hurry that is, in which case they are a pain.

We have a Hyundai too! I like it, even though the indicators and windscreen wipers are the wrong way round. Took a while before I stopped cleaning the windows at junctions

Everyone is in bed. I should be in bed too.

Ah interesting! The power of MN hey? I assumed from FB that something and plonk you had been friends since you were nippers.
I'm having a sense of humour failure about the lack of sleep. He's been doing loong night feeds but then sleeping for at least 2 hours after that , but the last 2 nights that's gone down to about 45 minutes. I put him down earlier and basically didn't sleep as I knew he'd be up. Agh. Waiting for the days of one night feed worse! Plus his latch is still rubbish on one side so my nipple hurts, and he's just been sick on the bed sheet I washed, ooh, 8 hours ago.
Hmm. I need to cheer up!

Oh eco tell me about the seaside? That might cheer me up. Did you have fun?

That sounds tough Shattered. So many people have mentioned to me how they prefer newborns to toddlers because newborns are easier to solve, but they conveniently forget about the random upchucks, the complete inability to tell you anything, and the amount of washing they come with. But they change so fast, and before you know it, you'll have forgotten too!

Sweet that you thought Something and i had been friends since we were nippers. I think our mums grew up literally around the corner from one another. DH is v down about his grandad. Mainly has no trust in the urology ward he's on (it took them 7 hours to admit him, we suspect they forgot he was there, and they phoned FIL at midnight to find out what meds he's on). The elephant in the room : the man is 90, his wife is in care with advanced alzheimers, all his contemporaries are dead and he lives far from family. We all understand the decline but noone is saying anything.

Worse you did well carrying on with TT til now! Did it get sorted then? Fwiw being on a postnatal ward is no guarantee of a diagnosis. We had one excellent midwife spot it in ds when he was 2 days old, but noone else on rounds believed it was a problem. I'm impressed he managed to feed so well, though I assume this is down to you bring a pro.

Yummy how was your night out?

Strange few nights here. Ds woke several times in Friday and wouldn't sleep unless on me. Not had that in a long time, was a bit lovely quite frustrating. Ds has discovered coco pops - a Sunday morning treat - and is permanently asking for "monkey cereal". And we watched a war film that I actually enjoyed. All things I swore would never happen.

Oh dear plonk. I hope his care improves and all is well.
Lots of tongue ties around by the sounds of it. Must be common.
Thanks for posting plonk. If I'm honest I'm in a wee bit of a bad mood because the ILs are down this pm and I Don't Want To See Them. Not for any reason, they are perfectly nice, I get on with them, but I just can't be arsed. Now need to work on not showing that I don't want to see them . Hmm. !! So anyway, that combined with sleep deprivation is not a good combo..hopefully DS2 will start to sleep more this week. I'm already planning a nap when DS1 goes to nursery! That's pretty sad!
Anyway sorry for the 'me' post. Wotta I will google the car to have a peek .
I think it's nice that some of you have met via here. I agree worse DH thinks it's weird so I don't own up to spending time on here!!