March '13 - packing up our troubles and getting excited about the new babies

[ecofreckle]

It's that time again. This thread is going to explode with squishy babies. Which is nice.

for you Betty. Although you probably didn't know her husband too well it's still a sad time and supporting her will be tough. Sounds like dh will enjoy his homecoming after he gets off call I sat with a gp at the wedding who'd previously been in a and e, she told me about the x ray of a man with a pint glass up his bum....made me think of you

Shattered well done petal! I think you have to get tongue ties privately snipped. Was it straightforward? It'll hopefully be much easier now. Well done for pressing to get that sorted.

Something and stormy are you both vomit free now?

Worse sounds like you're choosing tactics that are making the days roll. How was your swim? Surely you can't take the toddle in when dh is away? Or are you a project manager of the highest calibre?

The wedding was awesome. It was very posh. Poshest I've been to anyhow I wore what I showed you but felt underdressed. It was satin dress and fascinator tastic. Lovely bride, well suited to her husband. Gorgeous food. Free bar from u
four in the afternoon. Great dj. Nice people. Reminiscing. Lovely all in all. The hangover and return home to a child with a very heavy cold less so!

Sounds lovely eco. Glad you enjoyed it. Any pics?
Tongue tie was done on the Nhs. Seems to have improved things slightly already. Poor baby
worse pool sounds lush . Tell me honestly how much tv you watch on your solo days? dS1 seems to be obsessed with it at the moment, and it's harder to limit when I can't get him out the house as easily. Agh.
We are also having food battles which is really hard. He often won't feed himself, and needs 'distracting' with toys or quite often the iPhone. We both get fed up and it seems to really distress him sometimes. Any advice? I think really we should just have a few days of letting him not eat but I don't want him up in the night! I can only cope with so many tantrums over TV, nappy changes, food etc etc per day!

Oh and betty for you. I agree life us too short I will remember that when I'm next irritable. Sorry, am a bit baby obsessed at present!

Don't be sorry, you've got an amazing new baby and a busy stressful household and that should be forefront in your mind.

As for TV, madam watches what is probably an obscene amount but I'm not too fussed. I'm often in and out of the room with her and discussing bits and she seems to learn plenty from it too. She also gets loads of one on one playtime, reading, toys and outside time so i don't feel bad!

Betty , how awful . I'll give DH an extra hug, I'm probably guilty of taking things out on him at times, and I know I shouldn't.

Shattered the toddle doesn't watch TV for long periods, but it is on quite a few times a day, most frequently after meals for 10-20 mins to allow me to feed either Babax or myself (unless it's a bf only two of us can eat at once). Honestly it probably varies from half an hour on days DH is at home to an hour plus when I'm by myself.

My advice on the food front - do not react. If he won't eat something, take it away, and give him 'pudding'. That doesn't have to mean something sweet, just something else you know he likes. Toddlers are all about control, they want to be in charge, so if they can see what they are doing pushes your buttons they'll keep doing it. Here the button pushing of choice is throwing her beaker/plate/spoon/leftovers on the floor when she has finished eating. She doesn't do this at nursery, only at home, because despite my best intentions it does wind me up.

As for the swim, you'd be proud of me... I did go in. It was freezing! The kind of freezing where your skin sort of burns and then feels warm. I didn't last long, but it did feel great. The real me is back!

Forgot to mention Shattered have you tried putting ds in his high chair with play-doh, crayons or stickers? That's another fail safe way of gaining 20 quiet minutes here.

Yay for the swim Worse! The pool at the PILs villa in Madeira is never heated. Admittedly Madeira is a bit warmer than England at this time of year but it still takes your breath away! FIL fancies himself as Ray Mears and enjoys the challenge. Toddlers aren't so keen...

Betty Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. These things are often an effective reminder to us eh?

Shattered I do agree with Worse, and I do do what she does (he gets a pudding with a bit of substance, like a banana or some greek yog). But I found it really effective to give him some control, even if it's just an illusion. So at about 2pm I might ask what he wants for tea, and suggest two or three options. By 4.30 he's not just asking for dinner, he's actually asking for the specific meal I've made him choose. He will be in the kitchen with me while I cook, and I get him to watch Peppa stir pans, put things in pans and show him what I'm doing. Ds's worst mealtime trait is stopping eating once he's not ravenous but before he's full. So I step in because he knows I will - and he certainly doesn't do that at nursery. Basically toddlers are evil geniuses and you have to be more evil than they are.

Don't worry about the TV. We are like Betty, in that it's on a lot but we talk about what's on and it's usually to encourage a bit of downtime. Let yourself find your rhythm with two, and use the telly for entertainment in the meantime if you need to.

Stormy enjoy your birthday bbq today!

Betty, so sorry to hear about your colleague. I totally get how sometimes the impact of things which seem at a bit of a distance can touch a nerve and feel almost fraudulently raw. Be gentle with you and squeeze dh tight tonight.

Shattered I've posted a link on fb which sums up mostly the food approach which we are finding most helpful. Mostly what the others have said, but ensuring you take the pressure off both of you. Agree with 'pudding' usually a piece of fruit or fruit salad or yoghurt here.

As for TV, I've adopted an approach my bf takes (she has 2dc) and that's that it's ok to have it on if it's being watched (this is relative to a toddler but if he notices when I pause it it's a start!) but we try to avoid it as total background.

Enjoy the last of the weekend folks.

betty sorry to hear about your colleagues loss. News like this make you rethink your priorities. you have made me more aware to be nicer to dh. Life is too short.

shattered you are not alone with food battles. The only thing ds will eat now is toast and salami. He stopped eating natural yoghurt, rice and pasta which he used to love. He eats a bit better at nursery but still refuses to eat meat at nursery and picks his food. I have done what the others have done by offering apple banana or yoghurt and sometimes that works.
Ds watches tv but he also plays with toys, reads and has fun outside so I am not to fussed with tv.

worse well done to you on swimming. I bet you feel amazing. Worse is back!

eco how on earth does a pint glass fit up there? Its way too early for a discussion like this.lol

Hi. Can I ask a sex mechanics question please? The only rl friend I talk to about sex hasn't really done post baby sex as they're in a bit of a dry patch so I'm at a loss as to who to ask! This is eco not a dodgy troll

Erm... Go on?

Wotta the wise I'll take that as carte blanche to go ahead. So this last week has been fairly er.... active. Three nights of fun. Now this frequency is fairly unusual since a child came into our lives. But this week I feel kind of like saggy in the nethers region. Not painful. Nowt hanging out. Just kind of like a need to do a pelvic floor squeeze for everything to be right. Never felt like this pre baby. My question then, does this sound familiar to any of you? Just wondering whether something is awry. Thank you.

Thank god it's not just me!

Plonk seems to have come to the rescue. (Three times in a week respect!)

Ah, that's good. So it's not an old lady thing then plonky if you're experiencing similar! It's a bit weird. Any other takers? And Betty, does this sound normal to you with your work hat on please? It's like a permanent reminder of 'last night' which is proving distracting. Can't think that I've ever experienced similar before.....maybe I'll Google

And plonk I didn't mean it's good that you feel weird in the nethers post sex. Just that it's good I'm not a lonely old weirdo. Obvs.

And Wotta, remember I said thrice is unusual around here recently! If you want me to even that out I could tell you how long during up duff and post birth we went without!

When we were ttc #2 we were like bunny rabbits for a few weeks. When I got the BFP I did slightly breathe a sigh of relief. It was just a bit achey. My poor knackered nethers...just achey the day after really, but enough to make me not want to go fell walking or bike riding or trampolining should the opportunity have arisen in themthose heady days.

eco three times a week! not of use to you I'm sure but my PF in general improved after I have up BF at 8 months. I know you had a nasty tear too. Pilates would help?
Thanks for all the food updates. yummy sounds like you have it worse then me! wotta that link was very interesting, thanks. DS is definitely heavy so clearly eats enough. Think I just need to chill out about it a bit. Lots of food for thought from you all anyway
plonk I like the idea of giving him a choice but he would be unlikely to tell me what he wanted. Might work I a few months though.
We have had 2 full on 30 minute or so screaming fits today. (DS not me). It's been..interesting. I keep reminding myself that it's all a phase...
Hope everyone well

Oh bugger, I replied and MN lost it. Try again!

Eco its normal to feel more aware and a bit full post-bonk after a baby especially if you've a small prolapse. Basically you've got more obvious folds of tissue post baby and often a bit less oestrogen and therefore moisture so when things have been shoved about a bit they take time to settle.

I'm impressed and horrendously jealous. It's a pissing drought here. MrB has gone off the idea, too stressed, busy and tired at the moment and I suspect a bit put off since seeing a small person explode from there. I've told him that if it gets to a year I'm off to try and woo a hunky young thing and taking a lover !

Shattered: three times this week. When looked at as a one off week it's not so It's not like that's the norm around here! Those melt downs sound hard on you all. Maybe as language develops he'll be less frustrated.

Betty thank you for those assurances. I'll keep on doing some exercises when I remember. Sorry things are a bit dry your end. They were here for ages. It's just that first foray which needs getting out of the way perhaps and then it's back to being no big deal. Toddlers in the house and the associated tiredness just isn't a Sexy mix is it. You're a hottie; your dh will be back soon and getting a young man will be easy too

I know eco . I was winding you up a bit, sorry. hope you're ok.
Both boys have been napping for a while. Why am I not?! Oh well I got some stuff done at least. Am preparing myself for the rage of a woken toddle shortly....

Oops posted too soon. betty isn't your DH a surgeon?! Surely he's seen worse. I must admit I think DH saw this time when I was very clear he wasn't to look first time round. Ah well we aren't thinking of doing that yet anyway!!
Breast feeding ladies. My boobs have already gone from horribly rock hard to quite soft. I thought that was quite early?? DS is well over birthweight already which is good, but there's a lot I can't remember from last time. Any reassurance taken thanks!

eco you raunchy thing! I'm impressed if we manage once a week! Hope the exercises do their job.

betty sorry to hear about your colleague's husband. Times like this are reminders to us all that life is precious as are the people close to us.

worse your dip sounds lovely. I'd love to go for a swim sometime without having to keep a small boy afloat.

Thanks for your well wishes for Toddlesome and the Softie, they are both recovered(ish) now. Hooray!! But DS's top two molars have finally broken the skin so now we have that.

We also probably watch far more tv than average, but it tends to be films. The same film. Over and over again. Curious George. Thank god there's a sequel so we can at least alternate.

Shattered totally normal, I had the same. The midwife told me that second time round your boobs know what they are doing so your milk comes in earlier, and everything settles down faster.

Thanks worse that's good to hear.