October 2014- thread 8. Growing up fast, 6 months already!!

[MundayCakes85]

Morning all! A shiny new thread for Easter.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I'm off to eat copious amounts of chocolate whilst hiding in the floor of the nursery with Ewan the sheep

Newborn days here too!! She had a full bottle at 11.30, awake at 12.30.. managed to resettle kinda until 1.30 at which point I gave in and fed her to shut the noise up. Awake again at 2.30, not interested in eating, just wailing... I was awake until 4.30 because she kept waking up and doing random shouting just as I was dropping off. Gave up and put her on my chest where we 'slept' until 5.45, at which point she woke up for the day. Not interested in eating anything until 7.15 ish. I'd had maybe an hour sleep, maybe. Put her back for a nap at 8 and she slept until 9... woop de doo.

She's got a cold, but it's getting better... sleep is getting worse. She's not hungry because she's not really interested in eating. It's just constant waking for comfort. In the evening she sleeps 7.30 - 11.30 mostly straight through in her cot without issue.

I have no idea what to do about it, but I can't actually keep doing this. Second day in row with under 3 hours sleep, no energy, no interest in leaving the house.. this is danger zone territory for me really.

goats your dd sounds like my dd1 . She was exactly the same, could only sleep four hours at a time so that meant she was wide awake by the time i was settling down for the night, it is soul destroying!

Could you try giving her a couple of spoonfuls of rice pudding after her evening feed? Probably wont make a difference if its not hunger ?

She is probably going to be a wee clever cloggs, dd1 has a thirst for knowledge and is perfectionist so maybe pip is the same and doesn't want to sleep as she is too busy trying to master her new skill?

Lots of is needed to get you through !!

You said you bring her in with you at the first main wake up - so was that 11.30pm last night goats?

It's just an observation, but this seems to mark the start of being unsettled. Maybe sleeping with you is part of the problem? I don't know, please don't read too much into my post, just an idea.

She doesn't sound hungry, I think you are right about that. If not comfort maybe uncomfortable? Often unsettledness is just down to tiredness, but being unable to get to sleep (the adult version would be insomnia induced tossing and turning).

Teething misery in our house. First tooth popped up a few weeks ago without too much bother but she's suffering now. Also refusing the bottle after months of having one most days.

goats have you given her calpol? Sorry if that's a stupid question. I always give a dose if I can't figure out what is wrong. Persistent crying is usually hunger, tiredness or pain. Calpol is your friendif you can get it down em

Parenting fail here is that DD fell off our bed yesterday I was right by her but she proper catapulted herself. I felt so guilty but she seems fine

FATE - no, last night she went back down in her room after 11.30 food... but was crying at 12.30 so I went and got her. Literally 5 minutes after I'd fallen asleep. Grr. I've thought that the unsettled thing might be due to being in with me, but we can't get her back to sleep in her cot. We tried quite hard to do this three weeks ago, then gave up.. correction, I gave up because I was the only one trying and it was soul destroying at 3am.

Stigz - that's what the health visitor suggested today. Porridge with apple puree in it just before bedtime. Low release food I suppose. I'll give it a go tonight.

Igotta - yep, most nights recently. Definitely when she had her cold badly.

Tonight it's an hour of wearing her out physically, then tea food then porridge, then a calm bath and bed with boob. The rest depends on how tired I am. Sometimes I don't even remember going to get her. Tonight is probably not the best night for me sitting up in a chair in her room etc. Although I guess things can't get any worse!

Could you put a single bed in her room for you? Just to save your sanity when settling in her cot.

I understand that right now isn't the time for that, you're too tired so just having her in bed with you is best all round. But when you are next ready for trying to get her to settle in the cot, it is a million times easier if you can make yourself comfortable in bed while doing so.

(if it was me I'd bring the cot into my room to establish sleeping independently in it, but I know you have said no to that several times before)

Oh ok, just thought I'd suggest it just in case. My only other suggestion is to give calprofen at the same time or on the next waking for a double whammy of pain killer. One is paracetamol and the other is ibuprofen so it's safe to give at the same time. Other than that I'm stumped cause it sounds like you're doing everything you can. Just keep repeating 'this is just a phase....' She won't do this forever.

Fate - I'm quite happy to do that with the cot, we just haven't got space. A narow crib only just fitted in the room.

I bought a cheap cot mattress from ikea last week with the intention of using it to sleep on when I end up in there. I've used it once when we had friends staying and my boyfriend was snoring really loudly!

She was just yawning and falling asleep in her dinner, so I've put her to bed an hour early. Paaaanic... tonight probably won't work out well either.

I'm actually ok with 'just a phase', but I need some help.

Is DP in the spare room? Would the cot fit in there?

Get your other half to pull his weight!!! It's really unfair to expect you to do it all. He's a parent too. And if he won't do night stuff get him to have her for a few hours in the morning. Can he be flexible with work? Or have you other family who can help?

Haha, yep! I'd quite like to be in that room to be honest. He doesn't sleep well in our/my room because he thinks it's noisy. He's a sleep pussy.

He's just popped out to get an ebay fireguard for our woodburner, when he's back it's 'sleep plan' time. Got his parents staying again this weekend though, which doesn't help.

I just Googled single futon sofa bed. That could be an option too.

He said today that he'd do tonight if his course was 'easy' and he could cruise tomorrow, but hasn't mentioned that suggestion since this morning. He did say that someone told him he looked tired today, which suggests he's not sleeping through it. In which case he can get up and help.

It's so irritating isn't when the other half comments on being tired - especially when they only help out once in a blue moon. Gives me the rage!!! Oh and complaining about having sole charge of children for an hour or two and getting grumpy with them. Can you tell there's a bit simmering resentment in our house sometimes oh and referring to looking after the children as 'babysitting'!!!!! Grrrrrr

Good luck kicking him into touch goats

Well, I've been up once and he's been up twice. She's not going to have a good night.. booo. As well as the snot we now have coughing. Yay.

Gosh, think I'd be insisting DP does a night shift goats. Especially if his 'rents are staying.

Have you tried the no cry sleep solution? I've heard people sing its praises.

Awww, colds suck, poor lo's can't help themselves. We use the calpol vaporiser. Corrrrr blimey it's strong, seems to help though.

The no cry sleep solution stuff has worked with gradual retreat - I used it for naps and for the first 'put down' at bedtime. She goes into her cot (or my bed, or someone's sofa) awake and just goes to sleep. She does a bit of shouting (raah raaah raaah), a few sobs, then sleep. I haven't done it for the rest of the wake ups - but clearly that's the way I need to go.

I think tonight it's just cold stuff going on. She's woken up shouting almost every 10 minutes. Asleep and fine while you're holding her, cries the minute you try and put her down. Less crying for me than for boyfriend.

Could the crying as she goes to sleep be the cause of her seeking comfort in the night?

I don't mean to be harsh, but none of my children have cried when going to sleep as babies, not even a little bit.

I don't consider shouting/crying/grizzling a usual or normal way that a baby would settle to sleep. Maybe I just don't realise what other people do though?

Is that what people mean when they say self-settling, that baby is crying to get to sleep? That hurts my heart a little bit. I'm sorry, it does.

It must be really tough to listen to baby cry (shout, sob) when going to sleep - can't be good for your stress levels, even if it's just for a short amount of time.

No, no - it's not a thing that lasts more than maybe 5 seconds, probably more like 3 seconds. Nothing remotely distressing for me or her - sometimes if I watch her the raah raah bit of chatter (which is what I meant by shouting), is with a smile on her face. She usually then turns her head away, like she does when she's pulling off a nipple, does a 'waah' then falls asleep mid waah.

My nephews both make an 'angangang' sound for a few seconds before they drop off too, I don't think it's particularly unusual.

But yes, I think 'self settling' can mean crying to sleep as in controlled crying etc. The whole point of the no cry solution is that they don't cry. I see it almost as a protest shout that her body is letting her down by sleeping when she wants to be off doing stuff.

I'm with Fate that made my heart ache too - crying or shouting isn't how a wee baby should go to sleep. They're too old for colic now. I think more sleep training may just make her more anxious / clingy especially as separation anxiety really kicks in now so she's unlikely to be able to self soothe. I think your DP has been coasting for too long he needs to help. No one likes being sleep deprived he needs to man up. You can't go on doing it all without keeling over

Cross post! Ignore that.

goats i think your right, you know your baby best, you obviously know that she isnt crying out pain or hunger, i agree it is a probably a protest about being put to sleep in the cot and scared she is missing something, i dont know whats best for you as in my experience even having the cot in the room with me didnt solve the problem, she only settled best in the bed with us but i think i would have driven myself crazy if i didnt try diffrent methods of trying to get her to sleep on her own, sort of like " you dont know till you try" if it doesn't work then atleast you know you have tried?

I dont think for one minute that you would be leaving her crying to the point of distress but its obviously going to be a process of elimination so i expect there to be some crying until you find the right solution.

I really feel for you as i know how hard it is and i think people who have never been in this situation are incredibly lucky and will probably never understand how hard it is especially if you are doing it all on your own. I think you sound like you know what you are doing, so dont doubt yourself !! You are doing everything you possibly can at the momment.

And just to add i know lots of people personally and professionally that have had problems with a "crying baby" at bedtime so i know that it is normal behaviour for some babies.

Çongratulations on the non crying babies, well done you them , you must be super mums have a different baby than mine She does the same thing in the sling, the car seat and the pushchair, it's just her thing.

Anyway, boyfriend has her until 2am, so I slept. After that there was wailing/boob feeding until she slept for an hour or so, repeat until 6.30 and she's woken up with conjunctivitis, a cough and even more snot. Drs today methinks. She's in a normal good mood though... ridiculous!