October 2014- thread 8. Growing up fast, 6 months already!!

[MundayCakes85]

Morning all! A shiny new thread for Easter.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I'm off to eat copious amounts of chocolate whilst hiding in the floor of the nursery with Ewan the sheep

STIGZ no idea what to do except there will be cocktails involved. I think I might go buy a new dress and book a hair cut to try to make me feel more like the old me.
Goats we were waking up every night at 4am out of habit.
Then she started moving around at night and when I stopped going in when she got pissed off being on her tummy she got used to it. Now she sleeps any which way

Munday - did you leave her to cry on her tummy?

There was never any crying, mainly grumbling or growling in frustration. She can roll both ways and often ends up sideways! Think she just wanted some company and praise for being so clever

"Some nights I can sleep through without having a sip of water but I still take a glass to bed with me because other nights I will wake up thirsty"

The only time I wake up in the night needing a drink is if I've eaten something salty bacon sandwiches or dominos pizza the day before. I would worry about my daytime hydration if I was waking due to thirst any more often than rarely. What I'd if that was happening is amend the amount of water I drank during the daytime.

If any of my older children needed to drink during the night anything more often than on the rare occasion, I would also increase their daytime water intake since it would suggest to me dehydration through the day.

I understand the point you are trying to make in terms of babies having night feeds Yellow, but your argument in this case doesn't hold up.

Ah FATE you're forgetting us snorers/ sleep chatters. I often have a dry mouth from all my snorting like a hippo heavy breathing!

munday

Goats I have a similar night schedule to you with the 2 hourly wakings still.
The bottle and formula thing is going ok but he's not wild on it... I too know he's not hungry in the night but boob is the only settler, like you dummy only works rarely, sometimes it makes him madder...

For those doing baby led/finger foods Can i have some ideas of what your LO are feeding themselves besides sticks of veg. N loves feeding himself and is not keen on spoon feeding at all. Currently he'd let me feed him avocado every day seems to be his fave and obviously I'm limited with foods because of the no egg/cheese thing which is tough... I tried peanut butter on toast the other day and thankfully no bad reaction to that. I need to get some fats and calories in him somehow.

I gave DD some gnocchi the other day. Its nice and soft so she squished it about and ate loads! Other finger foods we do are banana, mango, pitta bread, veggies, pasta twists, chicken strips, lasagna bits (which mostly got spat out!), salmon flakes potatoe waffle and pizza crust, don't tell the health visitor!!

Goats - I persevered with the dummy to wean her off some of the night feeds. She wasn't a fan initially but she got there in the end. I also stroked her nose whilst she suckled the dummy, with another hand on the chest or legs (whichever she was flailing around). I initially aimed for the first feed after 11pm as I knew it was a comfort feed. If it didn't work within 5mins, I fed.

Baby wakings are often habitual once they get to this age. They do get hungry still, don't get me wrong, but as you say, you know not every waking is hunger. Good luck with it.

Sazzle - I find rice cakes are good finger food. You'd think they would be dry and difficult to eat, but bubba sucks and chews them so they end up pretty soggy.

We did corn on the cob, that was interesting. I also do lots of carbs as finger foods (which I realise isn't ideal all of the time) - so things spread on bread, muffins, bagels, pitta etc. Sandwiches of all descriptions.

Do you have an alternate to cheese/dairy? We give DD chunks of hard and crumbly cheese - could you try goats cheese, feta etc? (I'm not a fan, so not sure of the consistency).

Also the flaky fish are easy to eat - tuna, salmon, mackerel, sardines - and work well on toast or in a sandwich. Aside from fish, the other meats I offered are pureed at this age to make them easier to eat. That's just me though.

Sazzle flaked fish is also a great source of calcium. Lil goes nuts for a smoked salmon and courgette fusilli pasta dish in an oatley and garlic 'cream' sauce I cook. She also goes nuts for ginger, garlic and chilli pork fried rice. Both as finger foods. Cheese less pizza, peanut butter or Marmite on toast, creamy violife on toast, garlic bread (made with garlic oil), chunks of chicken, steak (especially the fat!), prawns, fatty lamb chops... With DS we were told to add chicken fat or olive oil to purees and to move him onto meat proteins asap as fruit and veg purees are filling but very low in calories (hence lots of night wakings after introducing solids if they fill up on veg purees at the expense of milk). We were told to avoid rice cakes as they're too low in calories and fat for a dairy free baby.

Goats this came up on my FB news feed - thought it might help. www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/night-weaning-12-alternatives-all-night-nurser

Hummus on toast, cashew nut butter and hazelnut butter and pesto on toast (you can buy vegan pesto so no cheese) go down well in our house.

Thanks folks, I'll have a proper read tomorrow. As a backing up of my opinion thing though, fed her at 7.30 and put her in the car... she's woken several times since, but no yelling for food. I'm in the back ready to go with bottle or boob (if she wakes while we're on the ferry), but nothing. It's just habit I reckon.

Thanks so much for all your finger food ideas. A lot we've tried but I'd forgotten about so will try again. fate unfortunately no alternatives to cheese that actually come from an animal as the proteins are so similar. Hummus is a big hit which is good as I can put in other veg. Do you all make your own or buy shop bought ones? I wonder about the salt...
Going to do pea and salmon risotto tonight so will see how he gets on shovelling rice in!

I think I need to step up the food! I've just been giving little bits and bobs of broccoli and things. No decrease in milk though. I'm so clueless always it's awful.

Epically bad night again, I don't know why he's waking I can't work it out. He's not hungry - at least feeding him doesn't seem to help. Could he be in pain?

This episode has shown me how completely my PND is about sleep anyway. I'd made so much progress and I'm basically back at square one now. All that counselling and things were utterly pointless, they just coincided with him sleeping a bit better.

splendid ofcourse your clueless, its your first baby! And everbody feels exactly as you do, being in charge of a unique human being is not easy as no two humans are the same! What works for one wont for another, both mums and babies.

I have had a child who doesn't sleep and it is so bloody hard but you will get it through it, i found second time around my whole attitude has changed, i know for a fact i will be constantly tired, i know i will probably be wakened through the night and up early in the morning for a good few years atleast (although my mum says it never ends even when they become adults, espcially when they are out clubbing or on the other side of the world).

My best advice for you is is to lower your expectations, accept that both you & ds's sleep pattern will be pretty shit for the foreseeable future but it probably cant get any worse than it has been, and you have coped through some dark moments and you will time & time again even though it doesn't feel like it, trust me i have been there and still lived to tell the tale and eventually had another after my vampire dd1

Maybe try upping the solid food? Maybe just needs a few more calories ... Easy fixed if this is the case?

Thank you Stigz, I'll try.

I guess I'm just so sad that how tired and depressed I am has ruined my experience of this. I'll be back at work in a full time very demanding job in a relatively short time and I've done everything wrong and spoilt this time for us both. I'm now back to not being able to sleep even when I get the chance as I'm so tense about him waking. I'd really cracked that in the last month so gutted I've got back to there.

I do really appreciate your kind words and I'm sorry to be so pathetic and self indulgent. I just don't know where to turn, I feel like it's impossible that I'll get through this. I'm absolutely terrified about going back to work on this little sleep, it's going to kill me.

splendid i think you are awful hard on yourself and thats probably the depression talking, think of all things you know have done right and not of the things you think you have done wrong, you will have done nothing wrong I'm sure of it, this is just a blip and you will pick yourself back up, my anxiety has months where it just goes completely haywire when it has previously been fine and hey ho its always when I'm bloody exhausted!! I know what you mean about switching of when they are asleep, it is difficult when your expecting them to wake up, i always put on a meditation app when I'm feeling like this, maybe it could work for you and help you drift off sometimes?

And for what its worth - my maternity hasn't been picnics and roses, its mostly involved me just feeding, washing, shopping, nursery runs, worrying about money, worrying about if im spending enough time with dd1, dreading going back to work as i cant be arsed washing my hair at the minute, with the odd trip to soft play or the park thrown in there. I have found it quite lonely as all my friends / family are working and dp is working all the hours god sends to get money for our holiday, so i have hardly even seen him

Hi Splendide, just to echo what Stigz said really. Yes you're clueless cause this is your first experience of parenthood. And sometimes it feels like everyone else knows what they're doing, have perfect children, never feel at the end of their tether but it's not true. Everyone finds it hard, some more than others, but none of it is easy. I found having my first baby was the hardest thing I'd ever done. He was premature so that was stressful and I was very ill post birth but I think even without all that I'd have struggled. People asked me 'so are you LOVING maternity leave igotta?!' And my response was usually to either lie, cry or say 'err actually it's really f hard, why did no one tell me!!!!??!!!!' It took a long time to actually enjoy my baby. Things just gradually got easier. But there were set backs with sleep, I always attributed it to teething, growth spurt (therefore hungry) or illness just cause it made me feel better to give it a cause.

This time round has definitely been a challenge. I've felt guilty, angry, sad, exhausted, bored, frustrated and lonely all of varying degrees at different times. Before she was born I decided that I would try to enjoy her baby phase. But I never expected that I would (not all the time by any stretch of the imagination mind) I said the first year is about enduring it rather than enjoying it. So that tells you how tough I found DS as a baby. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Like STIGZ says, lower your expectations.

I've felt 50/50 about my maternity leave - 50% good, 50% dreadful. Not just because of her, but career stuff, friend stuff, relationship stuff etc. I'm also clueless... but they are pretty robust little things, and we get it sorted in the end. I just keep having to think that this time is short so enduring it is possible.

We've just put the car seat in our bedroom and put the kid to sleep in it - she's so bunged up that lying flat is just not an option. I'm sure there is something somewhere to tell us that. is. BAD. Ah well.

I guess I'm just so sad that how tired and depressed I am has ruined my experience of this

You won't find very many pregnant ladies who are due their first child who don't have expectations of a challenging but ultimately idyllic maternity leave ahead of them. It is not that you are different to have had these kinds of expectations, everyone does first time around. It is how you deal with the crushing reality that the nitty gritty gruel of parenting is far from rose tinted.

I think I had incredibly low expectations. Right up to the last minute I was hoping that my boyfriend would step in and do the first year at home instead of me. I was crying about missing my colleagues in the last few days of being pregnant. Then I was so knackered in the immediate few weeks after the birth that the thought of work was a no... then I met a couple of really ace women with babies, and we've pretty much spent our whole time together. They've been into the same things as me, so we've been hill walking together a lot, drinking pints and eating chips together, we went skiing with one couple - they pretty much have saved my sanity. So, I've had a lovely social time with people who have similar low expectations as to what we're able to do on no sleep etc. I've also been able to spend a lot of time with my mum.

BUT, I've worried a lot about money, I've not been able to define my role at home properly, it's been stressful because of our household situation, I have missed work a lot, I'm worried about returning to work, and the sleep deprivation has at times been debilitating. I've managed not to get too worried about what I'm doing with the kid... she has seemed almost a by-product of the time... weird. I've just strapped her on and got on with my life at a slower pace.

I dunno, it's a weird time... and you can't understand it until you have to live it.

Oh splendide you are not alone. I could have written your posts word for word. If you ever want a chat PM me and I will give you my facebook details xx