September 2014 - 6 months already?!

[holls2000]

new thread!

Ella, b loves blankets. He tries to shove the whole lot in his mouth..

At the minute we do bath and bedtime routine from 9:45 and either DP or I feed her her bottle in the living room and then let her fall asleep on our knee, often with a little jiggling or rocking but she is no bother getting to sleep.

DS goes to bed at roughly the same time (Though he went at 7.30pm tonight as he was whacked, probably from the crap sleep all week). I feed him in bed though. He generally goes off easily as he associates the bedroom with sleep but has been dreadful for the last week apart from tonight. He's also rubbish when DH is around.

We have a couple of weekends away coming up and it worries me he won't be able to settle in strange surroundings and with DH around.

I'm hoping that the early night tonight will help him with the sleep, as I think he got over tired and that's made everything go to pot and him sleep worse. I suspect its been this washing powder allergy that's triggered it - his skin is beginning to look a lot better now though too.

Ella - maybe your DD would like a comfort blanket, or one of those blanket comforter toys? I know a number of children who like to squish blankets and things into their face as a sleep trigger.

My DD has been going to bed, upstairs in the cot, from about 4 months old. She's usually in the cot and asleep by 7.30pm.

The only routine to her bedtime takes about 2 minutes - sleeping bag on, dummy in (attached to sleeping bag by a ribbon), into cot, I leave, she sleeps. That happens every single time she sleeps (daytime and night time).

For all of the rest of bedtime, I prefer a loose routine because it makes it easy to change bedtime as necessary and avoids bedtime procrastination.

Sometimes she is fed downstairs, sometimes on my bed.
Sometimes she's fed immediately before going to sleep, sometimes an hour before (and anything in between).
Sometimes she has a meal before sleep and no milk feed.
Sometimes a bath, sometimes not.
Sometimes she joins bedtime stories with siblings, sometimes not.
Sometimes sleepsuit on downstairs, sometimes upstairs.

Shit. She's wide awake. Took an hour to get her to sleep last night and she's been a nightmare all bloody night. At 2.30 I gave in a brought her in with us.

I'm not comfortable with a cry it out solution, but something has to change. I can't do this any more. It's really getting to both DH and I. She was doing so well, but for the past week she has been a sleep disaster.

Please help!!!

Ok, she'd done a huge poo. Changed her but couldn't get her back off. She was being crazy loud so she's now downstairs in her jumperoo watching the latest news on the election.

Something has to change, I just don't know what or how

I tried to give her breakfast, which she usually loves, but she gots really upset and started rubbing her eyes covering her face and hair in porridge.

So I've taken her up and she's now asleep in her cot. Wonder how long she will sleep for. I feel like the worst mum ever. I got so frustrated with her this morning. I'm now sat here crying, but I just can't do this anymore.

Thinking it through, I think the problem is that she can't self-settle. She has to actually be on one of us to settle to sleep. So last night, from 10pm - 2am DH was taking care of her and she barely had more than ten minutes at a time in her cot. At 2.30 I gave in and brought her into bed with us. I really don't want to be co-sleeping though.

Sorry for the large number of drip feeding posts this morning!

Oh team don't feel like a bad mum :( sometimes these babies don't make it easy for us! Sleep is very difficult to manage at times because like you say babies just can't self settle properly so we don't always realise they are tired when they are looking to be wide awake.

I wish I had a magic solution for you :( hopefully someone might be able to post something more useful, I just didn't want to leave you thinking you are a bad Mum, you're not at all!

Team I felt exactly like you up until last week. I also put it down to the fact that J can't self soothe. I can't do cry it out either -and it's just not practical in this house.

My new tactic has been to not remove J from his cot. This does require me still sitting with him until he drifts off (but makes no difference as I would have been up anyway) - and things are quite a bit better.

On Saturday, we moved J from his crib to a cot - and into his own room. I figured it may be best to make all the big changes together. The first night I stayed in there with him - let him settle himself which involved him being awake for an hour, banging the cot bars and rolling about before eventually settling at 9pm. He then woke up at midnight, 2 am and 5am - but took less time to settle the second times.

Last night was brilliant - down at 8 pm, woke at midnight and 3.30...then I heard him playing at 8am. I didn't sleep in with him last night, but went in when he cried.

We are not close to sleeping through and I'm aware we could slip back into the hourly/ 2 hourly wakings - but this is better. I even quite miss cuddling him in the night, but letting him fall asleep on me and then returning to the crib was one of the main issues.

He is also eating really well now. I feel we have cracked it with the weaning over the past week - he has three good meals per day plus a snack, and I let him have as much exercise ie rolling about on the floor/ door bouncer as possible. I'm not sure if this is also helping with the extended sleep periods.

nazly Thanks . And lovely to see you back !

Team we had this issue with Jessica re self-settling. It took a lot of perseverance to get her to self-settle, (and for the first couple of weeks it took most of the evenings), but it's paid off and now we generally (disclaimer: not always) put her to sleep in her cot awake and she puts herself to sleep first time. We followed advice from my HV who said to start putting her down in her cot when she is nearly asleep on you but not quite (I.E, so she's really drowsy) - we also used the womb noise function on Ewan the sheep as well as she found it soothing - and then repeat as necessary until she falls asleep (invariably at first she'll wake up and cry, and then the second time, and third etc, but eventually she'll fall asleep). After a while you'll need to re-settle her less and less as she'll to start to learn what is expected of her, and you can start to put her down more and more awake. Also it may take 10 minutes or so for Jessica to fall asleep after we put her down so don't rush in to re-settle too quickly (unless obviously baby is getting very distressed). This approach helps apparently as my HV says that babies who are put down awake tend to panic if they wake up and realise they are somewhere different to where they fell asleep (I.E, not on you), so hopefully then when your little one starts to wake up in the night she'll be more settled as she'll know where she is. Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Sleep deprivation really is the pits.

Having said that we're still dealing with night feeds so I'm hardly a bloody sleep guru either! Still managed to get her through last night with just a dreamfeed and a 5oz night feed. Wondering when to brave cutting it down to 4oz (I'm working towards cutting out night feeds).

Quick question - how many of our babies are crawling yet? Red I know your LO is (and plenty more besides!) but Jessica still just lolls around on the floor and kicks her legs (like she's swimming). I wasn't too bothered until I met some other mums last week with similar aged babies and they all appeared to be crawling to some extent, and one was even pulling herself up already and standing.

Woohooo lie in until 9am this morning!

Sure DH got kicked out at midnight and DS woke up a few times but he also slept in.

I feel almost human!

Wahoo Red! :)

Team sorry just realised my above post should read 'babies who are put down ASLEEP tend to panic if they wake up....'. Apparently when babies fall asleep they tend to open their eyes intermittently to check their environment is still 'safe' to fall asleep in (especially in the first half hour), hence why a baby put down in their cot who has just fallen asleep tends to wake after 10 minutes and panics when they realise they are somewhere different and Mummy / Daddy is no longer there. That's the theory anyway! x

KitKat DS isn't crawling yet. He can roll front to back, but not the other way round (although he keeps trying, hasn't worked out what to do with his arm which keeps stopping him I think). He can push himself around when he is on his back a little and he keeps trying to crawl but then gets frustrated and cries. He is also trying to pull himself up a little too. I get a feeling it will all just 'happen' one day, until then, I will enjoy the less mobile boy

kitkat No crawling here yet either. He rolls both ways and loves rolling about over the floor. He can also shuffle about on his back and spin himself around in different directions.

He is now in a proper cotbed with bars as opposed to a crib so I think it will be a matter of time before he pulls himself up on the bars.

Yay! Well done Red

No crawling here either, but yesterday for the first time she pushed up on both her hands and knees to get a bit of clearance between tummy and floor. She doesn't pull herself up to stand, but can stand just holding on to my fingers.

Big long talk with DH and we've come up with a sleep training schedule that we are both happy with, mainly trying to get her to self-settle and form sleep associations that are not sleeping on us! We are also going to try not taking her out of the cot through the night. Think that will be the most difficult bit. Going out to buy earplugs later!!!

Good luck with the sleep training team. Hope it goes well and you have a better night tonight.

No crawling here yet, just constant rolling. Today DS managed to roll from the furthest corner of the living room, round the sofa & into the kitchen! Think we'll be installing a stair gate on the kitchen door at the weekend. The favourite activity at the moment is rolling & shuffling in the cot. The cot top changer is now off as that had turned into a great toy & it takes several attempts of settling before he'll lie still & not roll all over the cot. He is now preferring to sleep on his front or side.

I don't think it will be long before he'll be pulling himself up as he loves standing. I'm making the most of him not being too mobile at the moment, it's going to get a whole lot more complicated once he's crawling never mind walking!

Team - Good luck with the sleep. It can be so difficult. I'm lucky with DD that she sleeps well most of the time but the bad nights when they happen are exhausting, I do think of you ladies doing it every night!

I do think it's a lot about sleep associations with self settling. I started putting DD down awake probably when she was about 4 months old when I realised she was occasionally falling asleep on her own on her playmat, so therefore could self settle (though didn't often want to!) and then it was all about being consistent - always put down in the same place to sleep, always with blind down, always with white noise and blanket for naps and with sleeping bag on and feed in bed for night. I think what's helped her is also having crib/cot toys. In her crib she has a mirror monkey (thumbs2.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/m6FHoc_-HsilOenz2gexp0g.jpg) and in her cot she has a cot piano (www.kiddicare.com/p/Buzzing_Brains_Sound_and_Tunes_Crib_Piano.htm) and they can help keeping her occupied until she falls asleep. I'm sure that could be over stimulating for other babies though.

No crawling here yet!

Mirror monkey link is to a picture so doesn't work. Can't find the exact product but it's similar to this www.flipkart.com/bright-starts-singing-safari-crib-mirror/p/itmdzzaks4wckqxu

No crawling here either. Lots of wriggling, he doesn't sit still! Lots of rolling to, although I don't think he's realised that rolling could get him from one place to another.

I don't think DS needs a cot piano, he makes his own music by running his dummy down the bars of the cot like a xylophone

Good luck with the sleep team. We were making some progress but then have had a few bad nights in a row. He has a cold which has finally come out now, so at least there is an explanation.

Not quite crawling, but he's on his hands and knees attempting to shuffle about.

Sleep - we're attempting a very long gentle approach. He used to feed to sleep downstairs and then we'd cosleep when I went to bed. Now we go upstairs awake and he either feeds or cuddles to sleep in my bed and I leave him there till later. We still cosleep after that. I'm hoping to move him closer into his cot (he just cries in it) and eventually feed downstairs then cuddle to sleep upstairs. Then just hold hand, then just be in the room. It'll take months but that's fine. I don't know how to stop the night feeds though, he can still feed up to 4 or 5 times a night - and that's the ones I actually wake up for! There's absolutely no settling him any other way, especially for the ones early on.

His 2 front teeth are breaking through just now, taken ages to actually get to this stage, and it must be so sore as he's reallly upset . Given him teething gel and calpol and feeding to sleep for the third time since 7pm.

we r averaging 4.3 wake ups per night, with v slight improvement since I have evicted myself from our cosleeping set up. he usually won't go back to sleep without a feed, byt clearly is not hungry that often, so i think it is more of a sleep association. sometimes he can self settle at bedtimes. naps are mostly in the buggy. no crawling, just rolling and spinning on the spot

how late does your LO have their last meal of the day?

I'm very baby-lead in terms of meals - I feed when she is hungry rather than according to the time. So what time her last meal is depends on what time she has her dinner (which in turn is related to what time she has lunch and breakfast).

She sometimes has dinner as early as 3pm. In which case I'll offer supper (usually porridge) and this might be an hour before bed, or 2 hours. Whenever she gets hungry. Sometimes she doesn't have dinner until 5pm or 6pm so that would be the last meal before bed since supper wouldn't be needed.

I wasn't too bothered until I met some other mums last week with similar aged babies and they all appeared to be crawling to some extent, and one was even pulling herself up already and standing.

That's exactly why I don't make a big thing about it. KitKat - it doesn't matter. I mean, it really, really makes no difference whatsoever how mobile your child is at this age.

Babies who are crawling, standing etc are not unusual at 6 months, lots and lots of babies are. There is nothing special or "early" about mobility at this age, just the normal spectrum.

Likewise it is nothing to worry about having a baby who is not moving by 7 or 8 months, this is equally as normal and not unusual. There is nothing "late" about this mobility, it is just a reflection of normal spectrum.

When you're out at baby groups, you are much more likely to be coming across the mobile babies, because that's when you need a baby group. So mathematically, not a representative sample. You also get very boastful Mums who like to show off through their children.

Team - As long as you are your DH agree on a method, support each other and are consistent, then any method you use to change her sleep associations will work. It may take a while. Help each other when one of you reaches breaking point (which you will) so that you can be consistent and keep doing the same thing rather than giving up. It will work.

Well said Fate - regarding development.

I've purposely not read any of the "what your baby could be doing" stuff this time round, as nothing has concerned me - plus it's unflective long term.

With my twins, my daughter did everything first - walking, talking, reading etc. And noticeably so. Often put down to (by others), "boys are lazy" etc. My son (her twin brother) never crawled, just commando crawled on his belly and couldn't speak properly at 2 and had to attend speech therapy. They were in different classes at infant school - but daughter was always levels ahead of son. I noticed him catching up in the first couple of years at Junior school, but I think she still remained in everybody's mind as the "bright one". However, by year 6, he was at the same levels as her in Maths and English - he then passed his Eleven Plus with just a few marks off the top mark - she didn't pass. He's now at Grammar School and achieving high grades in all subjects, she is doing well in her secondary school but excels more in cteative subjects.
Even height wise, son was always a lot bigger than his sister - now she is 2 inches taller than him, and he has gone from being one of the tallest in his year group to one of the tiniest boys.

When the twins were growing up, most of my friends had similar age children, and I attended lots of toddler groups so I was always comparing. So many of those children have grown up completely different to how I imagined they would based on their baby/toddler selves.

I'm far more laid back with J . And have confidence that he will reach his milestones.

Still working on the sleep one...Yawwwwn ! However, this is the first time he has woken up tonight since 8.30pm....must be liking his new bed and room .