September 2014 - 6 months already?!

[holls2000]

new thread!

good morning all.
great news about the swimming

please could I ask your advice? my parents live abroad (mainland Europe, about a 3 hr flight) and during pregnancy I said all along I would take b to stay with them for a month. then he was born anf my bil told my dh that being away for 4 weeks would mean b forgot him. so I suggested 3 weeks with dh coming out first weekend and for a few days at the end. that seemed to be fine. yesterday pm I said I would b booking flights and he said nothing. then last night I was about to press book and he suddenly said it seemed too long and could we go for 2 weeks. he then said it's my parents fault for living abroad and that they should come here, also that they are coming over in april for his christening and isn't that enough. I am beyond upset - that he could be so selfish, I have been looking forward to seeing them, a holiday would be lovely etc etc. what would you do? keep the peace and go for 2.5 weeks or say sod it and go for the full 3? my mum also said today that they know he doesn't like them. It's dreadful.

Hi everyone, been busy recently so some catching up to do!

For all those with snuffly babies I can highly recommend a DIY anti-snuffles vapouriser of some Vicks/Snufflebabe or similar stirred into a jug of boiling water. We've been putting one in dd's room at night to freshen up the air and it's made a hell of a difference to her sleep while she's had a cold.

For everyone struggling with weaning, it's just a case of persevering and sticking with it. Took dd weeks to properly 'get it' then something clicks and they suddenly start to eat as opposed to just mess around with tastes.

holls that's mad. Can you explain to your DH that this is one of very few chances you'll get as a working adult to go and stay with your parents for an extended period of time, and that your ds will definitely remember him if he becomes more hands on?

Thanks Apples - not me being unreasonable then?

will try the vapour thing

Glad to hear there was an improvement with the swimming Top. Hopng to take A again this week now his diarreah seems to have cleared up.

Holls I would go for the 3 weeks too. Your DH had already agreed to this and your family are looking forward to seeing you. As Apples says, once you are back at work you will be limited in the time you can go over and visit, so you really should make the most of it while you can. I can partly see where your DH is coming from (My DH family live in Ireland, and apart from a visit from his DM when A was first born they have made no effort to come over to visit, even for his christening the other week) but I would never stop DH going over with A if he had time off work that I couldn't get.

Holls, maybe reassure DH that baby won't forget him? He may be being unreasonable, but it is a bit understandable that he would miss you both. If it helps at all, my brother was away from his little boy from 6-10 months old (he's in the military) and his DS still knew him when he returned, and that was without Skype.

*diarrhea oops, must remember to spell check before I post!

My family have been over - my parents for 2 weeks when b was born, my sister for a week and my brother for a week. My granny us 94 and lives with them so they are limited as to when they can come as she needs round the clock care, which my mum does.
I do get where He us coming from, but I wish he would stop changing the goalposts.

Holls I think you should go too. 3 weeks isn't that a long a time so I really doubt B will forget him in that time, plus you will be really limited when you go back to work in being able to do these trips. If he's previously agreed it's not really fair on you or your family for him to move the goalposts now. xxx

Holls he's def not being fair in first agreeing to it and then deciding against it and changing his mind. My in laws are all in Northern Ireland. MIL came a week after DD was born and then again a couple months later. We went over for a week at Xmas and going for a long weekend in a month. I would never be against any plans for visiting DH and like others have said you'll not get another chance to have a lovely three weeks away seeing your family.
Put your foot down!! If he's worried about being forgotten he should try to do more and there's always Skype too!
Glad swimming went better for you Top. Z absolutely screamed the place down the first time we went. She's okay now though. These little ones are amazingly good at getting used to new things

Going for 19 days. DH either coming in middle or at the end.

Glad you have got something sorted in the end Holls. It's hard when family live away. I wasn't trying to imply your family didn't/hadn't visited you earlier, I think that is my frustration with the in-laws coming out, apologies if it came across that way though.

Lil you are right Centre Parcs is absolutely amazing...

Team thanks so much, why would you even think your suggestion may annoy me, honestly: I really welcome any thoughts... As it seems like there is not much advice about settling in nurseries out there; everybody just says keep leaving him and he will settle but it has not worked for us as yet...
I will ask dh to take him once; although dh tells me every time to try to be positive and so I try to keep very positive in the mornings, sing songs and laugh , etc. He smiles when we get to the main door but as soon as we are in baby room and he realises where we are he starts... What worries me, is if this whole thing will do him some permanent damage in future, you know; emotionally.. And I know nobody is likely to know the answer to this question...

Zan you are the only one who could decide which option(jobs) is best for you; I would also write advantages/disadvantages to decide which job is better; but in general, if it was me, I would not move right now unless the job is massively better in terms of career or income; just because I feel with my home-life not being settled properly after baby, I can not handle another big change in life at the same time; plus my current employer is more likely to be sympathetic about baby issues given they've known me for some time , etc.

I also forgot to comment about your other post ages ago on nurseries: I would read the Ofsted report on each nursery; the reports tell you what is the shortfall so you don't have to ask the nursery. But then I would trust my instinct while visiting each nursery. My most important criteria was whether children were happy in there,like you said. (I have to be perfectly honest here though, I first searched all nurseries around, then I checked their ofsted reports and if a nursery didn't have one or had one worse than good rating, then I discounted them and didn't even visit. But that's just me, and I know many people disagree with the importance of these reports and discount them as bureaucracy)

Glad you managed to compromise holls, you are a better person than me, I would have told him to...well...I wouldn't have been very polite .

Took DS to the doctor today because his eczema cream stopped working. She said that he's actually got thrush on his skin, it looks like big circles of eczema. So we have anti fungal cream and steroid cream to clear up the bits that actually are eczema. I made the mistake of googling thrush images because I've never heard of these circles on the skin being thrush. Good god never Google image thrush. I need brain bleach.

honey

as to the eczema god its a bastard isn't it? we have had 2.5% hydrocortisone and gone onto doublebase and that seems to be working. his post strawberry rash has gone and he has big blotches on his tummy and spots of eczema on his legs.

in other news I got a full nights sleep. no 3am wake up. I gave him a bigger supper - chicken and veg whereas normally its just veg - could that have done it?

Honey poor you! Medical googling rarely leads to anything good!

Speaking of medical, what are the signs to look out for with constipation? DD is doing several poos per day but they're harder than they used to and she really seems to strain to get them out. I've just given her a bit of dried fig to chew on but I'm wondering if a bit of lactulose might help as we've got some. Does anybody know if you just give it to them once or over a few days?

Apples - i've been using Lactulose on and off for a few weeks. DD was prescribed it and the dose was 2.5ml twice a day until her stools are a bit more regular. An occasional one off dose does seem to help if she's been fine but seems a bit clogged up. However, with weaning their stools will become harder anyway so the soft baby poo just won't be the norm anymore!

Ah thanks lilone Do you know if they can be constipated and still pooing? Sounds weird, but dd goes several times per day then at other times (mainly in her high chair) seems to be straining really hard. Her bum's a bit red too...

Hi everyone.

The 'baby lead' bit of BLW for my DD appears to be more, more, MORE. I had every plan to take things slowly (following the "food is only for fun for the first 12 months" mantra). She's having none if it!

Will tolerate finger food only after a meal. No chance she'll accept finger food for her meal since she cannot eat it fast enough. So we are mainly spoonfeeding purees, because in a baby lead way, that's what she wants. All the best laid plans...

Whoever was asking about meals - we are 1 week into weaning and DD had dropped about 1 of her 6 bottles a day, now has 5 8oz bottles. She was always on too much milk, so dropping one bottle doesn't matter. She's still having more milk than she should be, according to the SMA tin.

She also has three course lunch and dinner (savoury, sweet then finger food) plus breakfast. My struggle is fitting in all the bottles and meals. She's like a newborn spending most of her time eating or sleeping.

She does the whole leaning forward and opening her mouth for the spoon. And cries when I'm not fast enough! Also weaning is proving to be a non-mess event this time, she's so keen to eat the stuff that nothing is wasted!

Apples - poos are harder once on solids and because the hardness is new, it is not unusual that baby might cry and strain when pooing. I'd be weary of unnecessarily medicating so young.

Today we have dropped another bottle so on 3 a day, and actually it worked, he took 500ml over the day, so an improvement. He has also decided he wants to feed himself with spoon and is Not Happy if i dare to suggest that i give him a clean spoon to play with while I feed him...

Holls, my DC2 stopped drinking milk completely as soon as he started solids at 6 months. He literally has never again in the 9 years since that day drank milk as a drink.

He'll have it in food (like cereals) and may occasionally have a hot chocolate (if offered with whipped cream and marshmallows, ha!) but he really doesn't like milk as a drink and that became clear as soon as he was weaned.

Maybe your DS is just showing his preferences?

I'd keep his calcium uptake in other ways - yoghurts always worked for us. And make sure he is getting other fluids like water and juice.

Apples you could try giving lo Ella's kitchen prune purèe if you're concerned about constipation, that usually does clear them out! But when J first started solids she did strain to poo at first, I think it's probably pretty normal. I can still tell now when she's pushing a poop out but she's not constipated

Apples - small hard poo's in young babies is a sign of constipation rather than just not pooing but as the others have said harder poo's once weaning is normal and a bit of straining is probably to be expected.

Because it started with my DD before she started weaning and was quite persistent she did need the lactulose. Had she been weaning I probably would have tried some prune puree as top suggested (I've made a batch for this reason now!) rather than using lactulose, but whenever I've given it she's needed it!

oh yes b strains to poo at the moment. mid feed he goes puce and stops eating. pooing obviously requires much concentration

Talked to paediatrician about nursery. He said any crying more than 20-30 minutes is not sign of separation anxiety anymore and I should not leave him in that situation as it will not help him settle in but just distress and exhaust him. I am so glad dh decided to ask the question from his paediatrician. And the answer was not what I hear everywhere and from nursery staff and most nursery forums I checked online (i.e. Just leave him and be persistent and it will work...) we started getting more worried when he had a couple of nightmares...

Team to your and dh credit he also said they pick up on your emotions and you should be really happy about leaving him in a nursery or he will understand you are not and he wont be...

So change of plan here, not quite sure of details yet though...