March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Plonky love how lovely to be up duff same time as sister and how lovely that's she's pregnant again. Too many lovelies but gosh darn who cares!

Betty which delicious location are you guys in currently? Make us share your travel tales!

Rainbow and plonky I'm still loving the book. It's making sense to me. I have started offering more choices and that feels nice for both of us I think. We still had an epic tantrum today on the pavement directly outside boots today. I would not cave into the 'want chocolate' demands at the check out. It lasted ages and all she would do is roll around on the pavement getting filthy and in everybody's way. It was quite but I did stick to my guns. Offering loving kindness didn't appear to help much but she did allow me to pick her up. After about ten fecking minutes. I am not naturally patient but I am outwardly with Ecotod. I take the toll though.....I feel washed out tonight, like I'm all used up. Dh is off to new York for boys weekend (please do not say 'and you're letting him? brownie points in the bag for you' as every other person has. WTF) at five in the morning so I better find some cope from somewhere!

Worse how are you feeling now? Is being physically well helping with your coping? When is nanny's last day?

Wotta it's time for you to check in again please You still feeling a bit brighter? Has the tax year ending made a big difference? Plonky suggested her online cbt which is great. May I also suggest you look up the book 'thrive' on amazon and read the reviews? It may be of interest. It's by Rob Kelly.

Stormy you are very fair so your legs are probably not a jungly matt anyway? Hanging in your dad's garden sounds lovely. Does your yard catch some sun at home as well? If so you can be looking forward to a summer of plenty of outdoor cuppas whilst farty goons around.

Yummy hello. I'm not sure you ever said but is it nosey to ask if you're planning on diving into your business when you finish work and really helping that along?
Shattered.....you must be feeling weary. How is the spd? What date do you finish....I forget.

Who have I missed? Sorry whoever you are....I'm on phone and in bath. Love to you all. Spring fever has hit me hard

Ooh plonky that is fabulous news . Best wishes to her. Fx crossed all goes really well.
Next week eco !! can't bloody wait......
yummy congrats on making a big move. I suspect children's SW will be worse off without you but hopefully you will get to do something that you love and that doesn't lead to burn out.
stormy hope the Meds are kicking in and you are starting to feel better.
plonk how's the nausea ?
worse hope you are also feeling better and getting a bit of sleep too. Are you going to be able to enlist any more help once the nanny goes?
I'm also loving the sun it just makes everything more cheerful!!! Right. Taking my indigestion to bed. Night all

Oh and wotta well done for making the end of the tax year. Hope things are calming down for you and you can get your mojo back!

eco for the sake of my marriage I will stay well away from the business. I love dh but we can get on each others nerves so I let him get on with things and help him if he wants my help.

I really hope this tantrum phase is over with soon. Well done for not giving in. Have some eclairs to treat yourself.

plonky congrats to your sister. It will be a whirlwind of emotions for both of you. I bet your parents excited.

I finish work mid May. It will definitely fly by with the amount of work I need to do.

shattered are you due next month? Have you prepared things or waiting for your mat leave to begin?

Plonky that's the best news. So very happy for her, and you. Now you'll be able to really share your excitement over your own pregnancy with her without worrying how she might be feeling about it.

Eco you'd be amazed how cope-able life is when you aren't slowly wilting from a long term infection. It's the little things, like having energy and stuff. Makes the odd toddler tantrum a minor blip in my day rather than a major catastrophe. Only real cloud on the horizon now is the physio confirmed that my stomach muscle diastasis is so severe there is nothing she can do to help, so I need surgery. I've googled said surgery. I've also googled pictures of said surgery. When she warned me it 'wasn't minor' she wasn't kidding. Makes a c-section look like a walk in the park. She also said it wasn't optional if I wanted to be able to play with my kids as the alternative was a life time of severe back problems. Oh joy. Positive stories from those of you who know people who have had this done, and come out the other side as olympic athletes or the like are very welcome.

Stormy how's nursery going? DD has decided she prefers it there to home, and despite two years of steadfast nap refusal anywhere other than her pram has now decided napping in the corner on a cushion with a blanket is cool. Well at nursery it is cool. At home it is still a ridiculous idea.

Nanny finishes on Friday, and I am relieved and nervous in equal measures. Relieved because I really cannot stand someone else spending more time with Babax than I do. I hate it. It's driving me slowly insane. Nervous because DH and I have hammered out a schedule for the foreseeable and that involves him being in London 2 days a week, and at the hotel another two, so what with work dos, travel, and staying away, only at home 3 days and 3 nights out of every 7. Rest of the time I will be totally on my own. It'll be fine though, once I've got a routine going.

Hope you don't mind if I do more reading than posting going forward though... just picture me juggling kids, dogs and household, without dropping any of them much

Shattered I we need minute by minute updates when the time comes. It's very important for our well being!

Waves at Eco. Sun is shining (well, not right now obv) so that helps. Feeling a little less overwhelmed, kind of like it's ok to have these feelings given all that's been happening. Dh struggling which is hard in many ways, but hope time will help.

But just had to do a little dance for the Plonks!!! Lovely lovely news!

Second settling in session is at nursery tomorrow - the bank holidays meant quite a wait between sessions. It's in the afternoon and she probably won't nap and she's horrifically snotty so I fear it may not go quite so well as last time, but we'll see.

Last night I was thinking I do have a luxurious leg carpet actually, but as it's invisible I'm not actually putting myself in the difficult position of having to weigh up feminist principles against everyone looking and going 'yuck'. And then it occurred to me that I always wear trousers anyway. Because they're safer, they prevent access. Much more so than shorts. And bang: flashback involving accessibility in shorts. Head clearly still not in a good place.

But it's sunny, and it's only nine hours until bedtime, and I've got a cuppa brewing, so life could be worse.

worse a walk in the park, eh? I had a walk in the park yesterday, it felt a teeny bit different. I understand what you mean though, I suppose it's good in a way that you have an outcome that will fix it!

DP and I are at the cinema. We're out. Together. Just us. We might even have a cocktail!

Thanks everybody, it was so lovely to hear her news.

eco the way you dealt with the tantrum sounds sensible to me. I think that, embarrassing as it can be, sometimes you just have to let them get on with it and ignore the haterz. The book is making sense to me but I'm not sure I'm entirely capable of implementing too much of it! I don't have endless reserves of patience, and I confess that I do sometimes laugh at my child when he's being utterly ridiculous about not getting his own way. But the stuff about helping them name their big emotions, and helping them cope with everything by providing unconditional support, I'm completely on board with.

Shattered ooh you're really on countdown now aren't you! So how long until dc2 is due? I agree that we need an hourly blow by blow of progress.

Worse your post made me smile. Not the bit about diastasis (which sounds dire, what a shitty thing to have to contend with when you've already got a full plate), but the bit about not wilting from infection. I'm not aware of anyone I know having such extreme diastasis so no happy stories to tell, but I do hope that recovery is swift and easy. Can you enlist help (PILs?) for the bit immediately after?It sounds like the nanny was a great resource very early on, but now that you're feeling well, having antihistamines and the toddler is happy at nursery you can just crack on and do things exactly how you'd prefer. And it's sunny and warm, double bubble!
You've not absolved yourself of posting though. You just need a dictaphone. Or train dogs/dd to type as you dictate.

Wotta YES!! It is ok to have these feelings because you've had a lot of shit to deal with. Acknowledging that is so important. I've said before that as soon as I told my dr about how I felt, and he validated it, I felt I was already on a path to feeling, well, not better, but certainly more accepting of my emotions. You can only deal with your feelings if you recognise them as legitimate. I hope the good weather and longer days help you to continue to improve. And I hope DH is well.

Stormy your leg hair chat has caused me to consider appropriate summer time preggo attire/leg grooming strategies involving bump and lack of bath. I don't mind cactus legs in the winter, but my leg hair is dark and patchy. Legs are like milk bottles too. Am thinking leggings all the way. Hooray!

Summert whatcha watching duck? Cocktails before noon? Oh you do know how to live!

plonky just wanted to say what wonderful to hear your sister's news - im afraid I dont have any advice about how she can relax during her pregnancy because I don't think that's possible. I found it so hard especially the early stages - I even had a spreadsheet with all the days so I could record stuff and feel like I was doing something to make each day go by. But the hope was always there which gets you through it. How wonderful that you may have your babies at the same time!

eco. That tantrum sounds tough - we have not yet had that scale of tantrum as DD is still thankfully quite distractable when out and about but sounds like you did so well. You cant force them to seek comfort from you but just being there until they are ready seems to work eventually.

worse admire your resilience and positivity so much - all sounds so tough with being ill and two little ones. What is the timescale for getting the surgery done? I will ask around to see if anyone I know has had a similar experience.

I am working but just wanted to send Stormy some hugs and some and a nice . I have no idea how hard that stuff is to cope with but I can imagine.

Hey Stormy. Hope you're ok.

So I managed a corker of crap motherhood last night. Woken by ds crying so rushed in to him, he was stood in his cot wanting a cuddle (with hindsight I'm sure after a dream) so picked him up... And then vaguely thought uh oh, low blood pressure... And the next thing I know I'm on the floor and dh is asking what happened and am I ok and ds is crying but from his cot and I can't work out how he's in there! Managed a proper old school postural drop faint like I haven't since I was 15. And kind of dropped the baby while I was at it . He's totally fine, unlike my shoulder and back which is pretty badly bruised and cut open on the chest of drawers I hit on the way down. Think I held him to me while I went backwards so he was fine. Felt very shaken and very guilty about it though, although Dh keen to point out that it's not exactly my fault!!!

Good job it's nearly the weekend I reckon.

Fainting is the worst isn't it Wotta. hope the injuries aren't too bad, coming down in a box room is always bad. At least you got the warning signs, shame you didn't get long enough to heed them!

First time I came down was in a shower cubicle. Painful. Also in the wine shop while pregnant, counting out change for a customer and standing in front of the super expensive champagne. My gp assures me I'm a classic swooner, which makes me think of crinolines and smelling salts and hysterical ladylikeness. hope it was just getting up fast that did it and your head's not too thick.

Stormy did the sun and help? Hug from me too. Looks like another sunny day to cheer you up.

Rainbow I remember you saying you couldn't relax throughout your second pregnancy. I guess it's normal considering. It's tricky as I'm feeling super relaxed about this one, looking forward to my home/hypno/water birth (I won't even accept that this might not happen) and she's having early scans and considering a section. Very stark contrast which is a bit stressful in itself. I'm certain we'll both deliver healthy babies though.

Crappy sleep here all round last night and now ds is refusing his yummy soda farl with jam and insisting on ice cream.

Wotta you poor thing, I hope you are able to put your feet up a bit today. GP if it happens again? Just to check.

Plonky I can't relate to what your sister went through, but I expect deep down she is holding on to some positive thoughts. My first pregnancy was complicated, lots of bleeding until very late on, and the loss of a twin. I didn't let myself believe dd would ever arrive, didn't buy anything for her and got irrationally upset when MIL knitted lots of cardigans in advance... but deep down I did allow myself hope, and I was happy.

Another gorgeous day, and I have expressed a bottle of milk so I can get my hair done later. This for me rates as exciting

wotta oh gosh how scary for you and ds. Hope you are both ok now. Look after yourself.

stormy how are you feeling today?

worse how is gorgeous babax? Does he still have that lovely newborn smell?

Busy morning today with blood tests and birthday present buying. Ds has a fancy dress party on Sunday so need to get the accessories for his pirate outfit. Lots to do this morning before we have to rush back to ds cot for lunchtime nap. In some ways I look forward to him dropping his nap and have more freedom.

Gloriously sunny. My brother and I took the kids to the Humber Bridge country park. Good fun, except when they both have their own ideas about direction and neither of theirs correlates with ours. Two hours until nursery, Zebra's in the tumble dryer, nap isn't happening, so today may get hairy.

Worse I presume you had early scans with the Worselet? Losing a twin very early is fairly common; it just tends to happen pretty early so most people don't realise.

Stormy yes, it was early, about 11 weeks, pretty much the same time as I discovered I was pregnant. It was a weird time, positive test, miscarriage, decree nisi, pretty much all in the same week. I kind of think having so many things happening at once is what kept me sane. I couldn't give much head space to any one of them! I'm so lucky, to have the toddle, she's so very special.

I'm on count down to zero help now, and I'm so excited. Wonder nanny is indeed that, a wonder, she's been amazing, but I'm really looking forward to it being just us. Can't wait in fact!

Yummy Babax has no newborn smell... it is masked by wonder nanny's perfume . I hate that. Second she leaves he's going in the bath . Perfume aside he's gorgeous, starting to 'talk' in gurgles and burbles, and so strong he can hold himself vertical if you stand him on your knee and hold his hands. It's kind of unexpected. Olympic sportsman in the making... according to DH

Still gloriously sunny. Fartypants is playing with glue at nursery. For the sake of my nerves, I have removed myself. Now sitting on a wall in the sunshine, looking at the mermaid fountain and enjoying the warmth. It's rather nice. And peaceful. Bizarrely so, in fact.

Ooh, crosspost. Reckon he's going to be an early mountaineer like his sister?

Oh I had no idea Worse. You're right, dd is so very special. So were they able to tell at your dating scan? I think dsis will be absolutely fine. She's just watching every symptom come and go, which I can't blame her for.
my mum for banned from holding ds when he was tiny. She's practically a Chanel ambassador and DH could detect her on ds several hours after she'd held him. She also left lipstick on him more than once

Stormy let us know how dd gets on. Likely she'll be rubbing around outside screaming her head off with all the others. I love spring time nursery pick ups. Ds is usually dirty, out if breath and very, very happy.

Yep, grand nursery time was had again. Ditto the leaving tantrum. Lack of nap meant she hit meltdown by half past four though. Screamed all the way home from my dad's. I've pacified her with Show Me Show Me and a battered sausage, but bedtime can't come soon enough. Can't skip the bath and go to bed though, as I've never seen this child so grubby.

Show Me Show Me and a battered sausage? Child don't know she's born

Not exactly Plonky, it was pretty obvious I'd miscarried, but given my difficult personal situation the Dr advised me to go for a viability scan just to make sure. Up until the scan I wasn't what I wanted. When I saw dd in there it was a no brainer. I just fell in love with her.

Your poor dsis, she must be scared but hopeful. I guess all you can do is follow her lead and be there for her.

Stormy I bet dd starts napping soon. The toddle took a few session, but now (reluctantly) settles down with the others/

Oh worse I didn't realise either. Lots if you have been through so much! Glad you now feel your lovely family is complete. Here's to a week of sniffing babax's head.
DH and I have been out. together. Making the most of it!!! Ha. Although I am of course knackered. About 5 weeks left for those of you asking. And when you say you want a blow by blow account worse/plonk you are joking right???!! I will post a pic after but there will be no status updated before!!!
wotta how are you?
Hope everyone else well. You all post far too busily when I get round to posting so apologies for missing loads out. Happy Friday all

Good Saturday, ladies?

So, Fartypants clearly hasn't bothered to read the language development rulebook. We got some foam letters that stick to the tiles in the bath last week. I was impressed enough when she spelled her own name with them straight off. Today the man is making three letter words with them. Which she is spelling out phonetically and then saying. Words that she hasn't been shown in alphabet books or letter games. I'm pretty sure two year olds aren't supposed to do that.