March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

That sucks Yummy. Hope you manage to ride it out though, I'm not sure that removing him from nursery is the answer. Whatever childcare seeing you use, he's still going to be in contact with other kids who have older siblings at school and bring germs with them. It does get better, honestly. We had six or so months when ds was just getting everything going, but now he's not missed a day for about 5 months.

I have a very sore throat at the moment, and have been doing a lot of solo childcare plus generally feeling the early preggo rubbishes so I really do sympathise. Also does anyone have any pregnant friendly illness Remedies? paracetamol just isn't cutting it.

Stormy glad the vegetable sauce went down well. My aim is to get you smoking aubergines by the summer

Something love, if it's all the same to you I think I'll stick with no sugars in my tea and no more fags. I can't express the difference I feel between smoking and not smoking, it's amazing. However I will start having more cooked breakfasts.

Ds's habit of early morning cuddles in or bed seems to have stopped. Bit sad but also relieved. The thought of him in with us when I have a bump didn't appeal!

I suspect some of them are just a bit more susceptible to bugs than others. Littlest niece started nursery last summer (June I think) and still has a permanent cold. I can see why you'd want a break from it though, yummy. Who would look after DS if you gave up nursery?

I've never actually eaten aubergine. What's it like?

No sickness remedies from me, Plonk. Have you considered a medicinal pint of Guinness? It's all that stopped my sister's morning sickness with the eldest niece.

I think they're all super susceptible in the first year, especially the arse end of winter when the heatings on and they spend a lot of time indoors.

Aubergine is a weird vegetable. when I smoke them in the oven the inside goes quite gooey and they puree up into the sauce. but you can roast or fry them as steaks too and they're delicious. A firm favourite in my house.

I think I'll give the Guinness a miss! Normally I wouldn't refuse it but...boak. I've not actually been sick, just got the permanausea that's only relieved by several small snacky meals. its the throat that's bothering me. Would love to go back to bed but that's not a realistic option.

Ok maybe I was being a tad dramatic this morning but I was reallyyyy tired. Every time ds tried to close his eyes to sleep he would wake up from the coughing.

plonky worse and shattered you are all troopers for dealing with sleep deprivation/illnesses as well as being pregnant/having a newborn and a toddler.

stormy I have only just started to like aubergine myself. I find it doesn't have an overpowering taste so pleasant to eat. My favourite dish is when I cook meatballs in the oven I cut some aubergine and courgettes to cook with the meatballs with homemade tomato sauce. It is very nice. I love cooking aubergine even though I am not a big fan. It's a versatile vegetable and it never fails me.

Yummy it does get better. The toddle got every bug going when she started nursery, but now aside from a permanently snotty nose seems pretty much ok (tempts fate...).

Stormy aubergine needs to be really well cooked. If it isn't it has the texture of squeaky foam. It's pretty flavourless in itself, but is good at soaking up whatever it is in. That includes oil, so beware if you are frying it as the end product can turn out a bit greasy. DH loves it, I personally find it either slimy or greasy and would walk many miles to avoid having to eat it.

Hi ladies
plonk and yummy hope you're feeling better. plonk I had to eat constantly for a while. Different from last time where I could barely eat for a couple of months!!!
I only put Aubergine in ratatouille or moussaka. Apparently it's nice grilled. Plonk what is your smoked recipe? I love veg and I'm a bit meh about aubergine tbh!!
eco you are quiet these days? How was DD's birthday?
Right ladies. I am by myself this eve. Can someone recommend a good film to watch? Nothing horror or too long! Thanks something how was your evening on the sofa?? No beer for me sadly!
plonk yes it was an evening work thing. And yes I am a million months pregnant. But it was informal; a sit down thing; I was wearing jeans and in bed by 10.30 so could have been worse!! Not going to anymore this year though
Happy weekends everyone.

Hello shattered. A film eh? I shall ponder and come back to you.

Ecotod's birthday was interesting. She got sent home from childminder the day before. She had a fever and wasn't eating. She was still the same on her birthday. We had a birthday trip to the doc. Antibiotics were prescribed. My girl is a thumb sucker. We play outdoors a lot. Her teeth rub her thumb so on a couple of occasions it has split open. She got an infected wound there (and
kept sucking it....boak). She also got an infected throat. Lovely. But better now. We still managed to look at some animals and play with diggers on an open farm and in subsequent days she's enjoyed a not-a-party, celebrations at our toddler group and a visit from my sister/dad. All was fun. But I'm not baking any more bloody cakes for a while.

Stormy I'm impressed with the veg news. Courgette is worth a try, diced in stuff it's good for bulking up. We put it in chilli and risottos and on pizza. We roast aubergine with red peppers and waxy potatoes and tomatoes. Yum.

Speaking of which, poor Yummy. Are you feeling more yourself now. Rubbish luck there. Hoping you get to enjoy a proper family
Sunday ahead of working week starting again.

Something, Betty and I need a wedding planning update please. Where are you up to?

Worse: doffing cap at you.

Right, films. I shall consult dh as I can't recall recent decents. I'll be back

Shattered: place beyond the pines. It's a gosling love fest. Tasty.

Thanks eco . I ended up watching/listening to 2 cellists playing things like U2 whilst reading a trashy book. Better then it sounds and off to bed now!!! Glamourous.

Rainbow can I ask....are you on respectful parenting or similar? I am all in a muddle about what the flip to do about tantrums, shouts of no no no, sullen moaning. What do you all do if or when this happens? I read an article about time out and am now staring into the abyss of Internet 'advice'. Was considering time out as my peers are doing it now their littles are two. Parenting. A minefield! Have any of you read any good books about toddler development and behaviour? I'm in the mood to absorb some thinking on this matter before the tantrums grind me too far down. Thanks.

Shattered your evening sounds blissful, more than enough to compensate for a late Friday night.

Eco I'm probably not the best person to say what we do with tantrums for a few reasons - my temper is very short lately, and ds isn't particularly prone to them. With him a tantrum usually signals tiredness and/or hunger, so I let the tantrum play out then sort that. If he's just bring wilful and ignoring instruction with a cheeky look on his face he gets Stern Words and moved away from what he's doing. This usually makes him cry. I'm sure that's not very helpful if you're into gentle parenting but I've no idea what else to do.

still feeling like crap here and DH has buggered off to Wembley till tea time. I think it's a Cbeebies day. Come on, my crap parenting....

We started tantrums really early here eco about 9 months ago I think. Try toddler taming,, I can't recall the author but it does have a section on tantrums. Sure your library would have it. We haven't tried time out although I think it can work well. Good luck

Hello all. I had an Eco nudge, so thought I'd update. (Thanks Eco, it is very sweet to think people are thinking of me ).

First though, tantrums - I think I know the article you've read Eco, it's one of several I have also seen and it plays on my mind. The closest I get to time out is if he's hair pulling (mine) at bedtime in which case I have to remove myself briefly to make it stop. I rarely make it to 30 secs though and it seems to be enough of a breather. I am reading a recommendation - The Whole Brain Child by Siegel & Bryson (sp?) which is interesting in bringing it all together: 'connect and redirect' and 'name it to tame it' being key themes.

Yummy I hope you are all feeling better. As you may remember we were solidly ill for most of last winter (DS starting nursery) and I had 7 colds on the trot which was properly grim. I had 6 days off work, which equalled the amount I'd had off in the previous 9 years sick. However, this year has been so much better. He's had a couple which haven't really bothered him and DH and I have got away with one each. Not bad going. And I hear from friends who didn't do nursery that they basically had the exact same thing at 4 when they started school. So I think you postpone it rather than escape it even then!

Shattered, hope you manage to keep going for these last few weeks. I can't imagine how tired you must be - I was so ready to stop last time (I bailed 3 days earlier than planned at just over 37 weeks) and knowing how I feel now without being pregnant.... ugh. You guys are heroes! Plonk, I found that a constant flow of snacks was required to keep the nausea at bay. Interesting planning client meetings so I could keep sneaking sweets!

Can't remember who had the sore throat, but honey and lemon with a slice of fresh ginger is soothing I find.

Right, update. We had our allergy clinic session on Thursday (at last) and we have a severe peanut allergy. Thankfully nothing else, but we are now officially advised that he should never be anywhere without epipen and piriton. Fun. Here's hoping he'll grow out of it. And this one really would appear to be all my fault - massive history of allergy in my family, none in DH's. Oops. Sorry WottaTod.

As for me, I am still fragile. I went to the GP, she said she's 90%+ certain it's a normal response to everything going on, but I had a load of blood tests on Friday just to rule out anything physical. Results first part of next week. She says she wants to see me again in 2 weeks to catch up. I am hoping if I can just survive the tax year end then there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Work have tried to take some stuff off my desk which has helped a bit, I can see wood now! And this weekend coming is the funeral, which DH is attending alone (it's at the other end of the country and we couldn't afford for us all to go) which is a worry, but I hope will begin to help him with the grieving process. Means I am solo for the long weekend, but DM is coming to stay for a couple of nights and we have some days out planned so hoping to turn it into a mini holiday.

Bloody horrible day to day. Might go swimming when DS wakes up, as that way getting wet isn't a problem...good weekends all.

End of the tax year is start of April, isn't it? Not long to go, Wotta. Got my pompoms ready to cheer you on if need be.

Eco you've made me glad we went the dummy route! We do have finger chewing at the moment as part of teething (number twenty is turning her into a devil child at the moment) but no thumb sucking. And a lot less playing outside than you too, there just isn't the safe space with a bolter. Planning to spend a lot of the summer at my dad's so she can play in his garden though.

As for tantrums... I have read no books, but probably should. If anyone comes across any pearls of wisdom, do share! At the moment I go with firm boundaries (no means no), distraction (look, there's something cool over there!), and just letting her get on with it if it's utterly ridiculous (while trying hard not to laugh). If she's kicking off over eg shoes on I just pin her down and crack on (because anything else would just prolong things). Trying not to get too bogged down in explaining the nos that provoke tantrums, because when she's in a state none of it goes in.

Can't remember anything else. Grim weather here too: typical British summer time!

wotta lovely to hear from you. Your GP sounds sensible. At least she is doing proper investigations before sending you on your way with antidepressants. Thanks for the reassurance. I have read on mn that there is a virus going around. How would you know if ds grows out of his allergy? Do they do further tests in a few months/couple of years time?

eco poor ecotod being ill on her birthday. Hope she feels better now. Tantrums hmm... we don't really have kicking and punching kind YET. If he cries it is usually because he is tired. We are at the stage if I tell him off he starts crying and gets quite offended if I tell him off. I have learnt that if I can explain as much as he can understand why I told him off with a calm tone that stops him having a tantrum. Timeouts might work I have yet to try it. Have a chat with the childminder to see what method she tries.

Even though we have only lost an hour it feels like I have lost half a day. I have to do a quick supermarket trip, cook dinner and go to a kids birthday party for 3pm.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Evening all. Wotta glad things are under control with DS and hopefully he'll grow out of it. I'm also glad your GP sounds good.

Yummy fingers crossed for a prolonged period of being well for you all.

Eco we have fairly impressive tantrums here. I plonk her down on the nearest surface and try to explain to her why she feels like she does and why her behaviour isn't acceptable. I give her the options of lying down and crying or a cuddle and it's variable which she chooses! If it's unacceptable behaviour where she's damaged something purposefully or hurt someone I explain to her about upsetting people and ask for an apology and if she refuses she has a short time out. Usually 10-20 seconds is enough and she comes for a sorry and a cuddle with whoever she needs to. Not a bloody clue if it's right or wrong or going to work long term but it's just what we seem to have evolved into at the moment. Parenting is pretty much all best guess isn't it?

Ooh I do so love falling asleep at 9 then bring awake for hours in the middle of the night.

I guess our approach is somewhere between Bettys and Stormys. The point I try to get across to him is that there are boundaries he shouldn't cross. Telling him no, the stern words, sometimes means tears. If he hits me or pulls my hair he goes from next to me to away from me. He usually comes back a moment later sobbing with his arms out for a cuddle. Funniest thing he does when having a tantrum is throw Bunny on the floor. As if I should be personally offended!

Wotta your gp sounds lovely. Well done her for doing tests and actually trying to find a cause.

DS was a diamond yesterday. I felt so ill I was convinced I had tonsillitis. A rather brusque pharmacist told me to go and drink honey and lemon and wouldn't sell me anything. I cried at ds more than once. At some point in the afternoon I nodded off on the settee and woke to find ds happily playing with his cars and mumbling away to himself. He gave me lots of cuddles yesterday. It was lovely. Worse I think I have done inkling of how you must've felt, poorly, pregnant and parenting a toddler is bloody hard work.

Oh god, the throwing in a temper. I operate a "you throw it, I take it away" policy, which has had moderate success. Betty I reckon your method is grand, not least because you're consistent.

First nursery settling in session in 45 minutes. Why am I so nervous?

She'll smell your fear stormy! :-) no need to be, you'll be there for much of it I'm guessing, and she'll be fine. Honestly DS adores mursery.

She had a whale of a time! And a massive strop when it was time to leave.

That's excellent Stormy! DS still strops when we leave nursery, even though we've had the same routine for about 10 months.

How did you find it? will she be going for big chunks of time or a few hours a day?

Fantastic Stormy! It's a nursery milestone here today to, as the toddle has been booked in for a longer session until 3pm.

Two five hour sessions a week, year round. I'm sure there are rules that dictate session lengths for the free entitlement, but this way makes sense for the nursery: if a child's only in for three hours they still effectively take up a place for the whole morning after all. First proper session without me is on the 16th, couple more settling in sessions before then. She tried painting for the first time today (too much disaster potential on our rented carpets at home). Loved it, and has had a paint moustache all morning.

Those hours are also far more helpful for parents looking for work.

Aw sounds like she had a whale of a time. DS gets up to loads that I could never facilitate at home, especially the messy play stuff. Go on FP!

stormy that's great news. DS loves his childminder. I'm lucky if I get a goodbye wave when he walks in there.

eco betty a wedding update, you say? Hmm, unfortunately we’re in a bit of no man’s land because we still have 10 months to go (to the day!!) all we need to do in the next couple of months is get addresses and send out Save the Date cards. I know that they’re quite often redundant and unnecessary but we’ve found some amazing ones that we want to make, and we have a few international and far away guests who will need more notice than a few months and we’re twee. We’d also need to use this time to book a florist and photographer, but my mum’s doing the flowers and DP’s work friend is doing the photos. So, that’s done already. And we need to finalise the guest list but that’s been done since before we were engaged due to my excessive planning. We had a chat last night about the invites and the order of ceremony, and thanks to my background, we’re designing them like theatre tickets and programmes other than all that, my dress and our rings are hopefully currently being made, and we should get them soon. Well, to say I had nothing to update, I rambled a lot!

Also, eco DS is a thumb sucker too and his thumb is permanently cut open so I've noticed the odd bit of dirt in it before. Horrid to think that infections spread so easily, but I'm glad she had a lovely birthday.

Tantrums-wise, they’re usually down to hunger or tiredness, and once rectified with one or t’other, he tends to be much more charming. But when they’re due to behaviour such as throwing, whatever has been thrown gets removed and he gets moved away from us for about 30 seconds. After that, he comes to us for a cuddle and it seems to do the trick.

I’ve just been asked to take on more responsibility and hours at work. It’s to cover long term sickness and means that I’ll be getting paid a higher graded wage for those hours. Which is always nice. It could be the next step in them seeing that I’m needed elsewhere and could offer me a move into a department I’d prefer to work in!

Any toddles affected by the clocks going forward? DS went to bed as normal at 7pm and chatted for a few minutes because I think he was confused by how light it was, but ended up sleeping until 8:15!