October 2014 // thread 5 // baby's first Christmas

[JeannePoole]

Welcome back!

(Dear greetings cards manufacturers: 'Baby's First Christmas' does NOT necessarily have to include Baby being liberally sprinkled with glitter from your shoddily-made merchandise.

Except that, as I'm rapidly discovering, it does.

Oh i hope so! Ive tried to move him from asleep on the boob to his cot about 6 times so far tonight and he just wakes up immediately in a rage and then does a really high pitched squawky cry like something really hurts! So now i have dh snoring behind me and ds snuggled up in front and im in some sort of contorted s shape on my side lol, oh the joys!

Get the kettle boiled first thing & pop syringe in to ensure it is sterile too. Let cool & give it a go. Good luck.
Think my DS is finally asleep! Only been trying for 5 1/2 hrs!! Crazy baby!

Is it possible/likely for babymoose to be starting teething at 12 weeks? He just keeps chewing on me like mad, ive got huge cracks across my nipples and im in absolute agony :s or is it just a symptom of his other issues... god i hate being awake all night. Dh has gone downstairs to fix something and is probably snoring on the sofa!

Anyone else awake? I've just been looking at the snow out of our window, it's all very peaceful and lovely out there. Love the snow! On a less happy note I've got (yet another) blocked duct! So painful. I'm averaging about 1 a week at the moment, really not sure why but I really am getting fed up. It's making me want to pack in breastfeeding because I just end up feeling resentful that I have to be in so much pain and be struggling while DH gets to snore through the night happy as larry
They always clear up quite quickly but I'm always terrified that it'll turn into mastitis, or that this will be the block which baby feeding won't clear. Anyway, sorry for the rant! Hope everyone else is ok and recovering from christmas/inlaws/family!

I have a very snotty baby, poor love. She's struggling manfully to sleep but it keeps waking her up. Long night. She's been getting snottier since Christmas morning though so hopefully this is the worst of it- I really hate having to listen to her trying to breathe through it.

Tatty get some saline nose drops for her ask at any pharmacy counter they are around £1 don't buy expensive branded one's off the shelf. Also pop some books under head end of crib feet to tilt crib.

We put some baby olbas oil into a jug of boiling water and stood that in our room when DS got a cold, the steam didn't last long but the smell of the olbas oil stayed for ages so that might help.

Babymoose sounds very snotty and congested and every cry turns into a high pitched whine at the end :( it sounds so sad!
I keep getting bright white blobs/blisters on my left nipple when hes fed particularly badly and they feel like hell on earth! Just woke snoring dh to get him to give ds his reflux meds and hes back to bed snoring away already!!! Why on earth he thinks hes entitled to this much sleep i'll never know

I swear im going to put a pillow over his face if he keeps snoring! He used to at least pretend to care that i wasnt getting any sleep and now he just dives straight into a deep sleep the second i start feeding :(

I'll look out some saline noise drops in the morning. Her crib is tilted already and we've had olbas oil in an essential oil burner. I don't think she's feeling too poorly- she's been a bit clingy and cluster feedy but not actually miserable- but still, rotten for her. Plus also rotten for me getting woken up all the time (yes I'm selfish, but at least I was sorry for her first).

wondermoose my partner is basically pretty good and useful but I still spend night feeds planning how to kill him if he's snoring.

I don't know how you guys have your DP/DH in the room with you & stay sane! I would have been divorced long ago if my DH was in the room. He sleeps in the spare room until baby is more settled at night. Id only end up being disturbed by the pair of them. He moved back in when my DD was 3 months, yet to move back with DS.

CJ we don't have a spare room, so there isn't anywhere else he could comfortably sleep. Also, aside from the times I plot his demise I like having him here as otherwise I get a bit sad and lonely, and he does all night time nappy changes, plus can be woken up for moral support if necessary. And it's nice to have a cuddle.

Separate rooms here too - over Xmas we had 3 nights in the same bed (all 3 of us), and I know who came off worse! I've found the sleeping arrangements quite stressful - it's bad enough trying to keep your child from crying too much in a strange house, but when you're hardly sleeping yourself due to a snoring other half, a snotty unsettled baby, it's even worse. I'm going home exhausted. We're at my parent's at the moment, which means separate rooms at least, but boyfriend has a cold so grumpily watched telly last night, hardly said a word, and didn't even help me get stuff in from the car when it was raining. Raaah. Next year I'm staying home, don't mind what anyone else does.

My child has recently become a total flailer - do you think 11 weeks is too late to start swaddling?

I do miss cuddles (and sex that hasn't been planned in advance) with bf, but I'd miss my sleep more. If I was permanently sleep deprived as I am at the moment I'd have pnd for sure. I'd have killed him too I think.

Morning!

Separate rooms here too. I'd rather have him functional in the day so he can do the household things and there's not that much he can do in the night really. I am lonely sometimes though and miss the cuddles and sex. Keep telling myself it's not forever. I'm sad though, I (stupidly) had no idea having a baby would distance us so much.

The sleep/ PND link is very apparent to me. I feel much less awful if I've had just a little bit of sleep. Last night A was pretty good after a horrible upset evening though. I didnt sleep as much as I could have though, he was noisy in his sleep and I had random anxiety.

splendide couldnt agree more, when ive had a few nights of around an hours sleep per night my thoughts soon veer off
tatty yours does sound quite good! Problem with dh is even after 15 mins hes so deeply asleep that he becomes a 3 year old when you wake him. Ie wake him to put babymoose in cot "what do you want me to do? Why? Where? Whats the plan?" And various other confused half asleep questions. Im so annoyed at him at the moment that cuddles of any kind arent even being entertained!
Now that weve movrd babymooses cot into our room im tempted to put him in his room on a blow up mattress but then i think well why should he get even more uninterupted sleep? Its not like it makes him any more useful :(
Sorry for being such a moaning cow! I must be driving you all crazy

I'd miss my morning cuddles far too much if DH wasn't our bed

For those of you resenting DH's sleep, payback will come. When we decide to stop feeding baby in the night, we swap which side of the bed the cot is - so at that point DH is in charge of the night wakes (settling back to sleep, rather than me breastfeeding to sleep).

We are very lucky this time because DD is sleeping through and not waking in the night, so sleep isn't an issue. But I can remember well the utter exhaustion of 2 hourly wakes (for over a year!) with DC1.

I wish DP would go in spare room occasionally but he won't cos he doesn't like that bed. So instead, I nudge him throughout the night telling him he's snoring or I go to spare room and listen out for DS. All of which just adds to sleep deprivation.

Happy belated xmas everyone! Separate rooms for me and DH too. Miss cuddles also, but love being able to spread varuety of muslins and bibs across the bed ready for quick grab for night feeds.

Can anyone else really not be arsed to go out and meet other mums and do baby classes and stuff? I don't really want to be sociable. I will at some point - going to water babies in feb, but never do I wake up in the morning and think - 'oooh I wish I was going to a baby class today'. Other mums keep mentioning it for me to do, but I get more excited having a snuggly day to myself on the sofa (with squish).. The thought of having to willingly go out on time somewhere does not appeal either...

betty if this was my first baby no way would I be heading off to baby group! I would be on that sofa enjoying every minute I could :)
That said it totally depends on the mum some people are desperate for adult conversation and to get out of the house which I can totally understand. There is a lady at our toddler group who has been coming with her baby since he was ten days old. She had no friends with babies/children and really wanted some company plus lots of mums hold her baby for a bit so she can have a coffee in peace so can kind of see both sides really!

I'm heading off to my mums today for an Italian Christmas Day/dinner I'm so excited will come home 10lbs heavier but I don't care! Dp has offered to drive (wonders will never cease!) so I can have a few glasses of wine.

Betty I didn't really want to get out and about with j until the worst of winter was over - he was about 4 months before we started doing baby groups. I did swimming, baby sensory and toddlers / playgroup. As a poor second child Lil's only going to playgroup twice a week.

Betty yep I'm totally with you haha, my HV kept saying I should go to my local BF peer support group and I'd smile and nod "Yep definitely" and have yet to go to one! Maybe the novelty will wear off at some point and the grim Central Scotland weather could play a part too, but right now I enjoy my days in talking and singing nonsense to H and the cat haha!

Well, I am one of those Mums. I started going to playgroups when DC1 was about 8 months old (so about 9 years ago) and within a couple of months found myself (with two close friends) running the local toddler group that was about to shut down. Then acquired another baby and toddler group when the Head at my childrens school asked me to set it up.

DC3 started full time school in September 2014 - just 4 weeks before DC4 was born. By then I handed over the rains of running Toddlers to another Mum.

I am being badgered like you wouldn't believe to start going back again with DC4 - but there is no way I am being roped back into helping just yet. I will start going to groups when she is mobile, so somewhere between 6-12 months. Will be keeping my head down and not volunteering this time though!

I'm crap at going to stuff, too. It's been slightly complicated by the fact that I've had work to do whenever I can (editing a book, so it's on deadlines that can't be delayed for a baby) but that's only an excuse. The truth is I've never been very good at that sort of thing and it fills me with despair. As consolation I've been actively using other opportunities to meet mums- got the number of a friend of a friend with a slightly older daughter and I've met her for coffee a few times, and someone who had just moved in down the road who I asked round for tea. My hope is that I can meet people that way, which I find easier than forced group activity. And when she's older and it's more about doingthings she enjoys I think I'll find it easier.

Im constantly at bf groups all over the place because im hoping one day someone will "fix" babymooses terrible latch/feeding. However i really like the mums in one if the groups despite the fact that they all have 6m olds so know each other v well, still bloody hard to get out of bed with him in a morning tho!
Wevr tried baby massage a few times (to see if it would soothe him!) but he just screamed the whole time and those mums werent exactly sympathetic!
Hoping to start swimming in jan if i can find one thats not extortionate :)