October 2014 // thread 4 // a lot of night feed chatting!

[sazzlehopes]

Welcome everyone. You're doing a good job by the way. Remember that.

Don't feel horrible. I've wished that at times in the middle of the night when I'm totally knackered. It always passes.

Bollocks I'm ill!

Feel fluey, sick and achey and have these weird itchy sore bumps under my jawline and on my glands. Aaarghh I don't have time to be ill today. Dp got in at 4 I was up feeding and I got THE HAND! I don't bloody think so mate I've got to be up in 3 hours and you stink of beer and garlic.

He is now in bed being ill. I have to take dd1 to her jujitsu lesson in an hour and I have to take the 3 little ones too. Ds1 will be bored and create chaos during the lesson so going to go to ikea cafe instead.

All I want to do is curl up under a duvet. On the plus side r had a really good night. When dp got in bed pissed last night he kept asking is r in the bed?
As if I'm going to put out tiny baby in bed when you're drunk you fecking arse!!

Going to send the kids in to jump on him when we get back.

splendide hope you're feeling better the middle of the night is such a lonely intense time when they are being little monkeys.

cj trust me last night was a rare occurrence

Can I just say and I hope this doesn't come across as patronising but I'm in awe of all you mummies who are breast feeding (and a tiny bit jealous) think you are doing a amazing job I remember how intense it was and how difficult at times.

Sending out and to all the mummies on this thread we are all doing a bloody brilliant job in what is a very difficult situation sometimes.

Oh nooooo Pregnant it's rank rotten feeling ill when you have a busy day ahead, if you can get to a chemist could you get some Day Nurse?
Splendide don't feel bad, I've felt like that before in the midst of sleepless delirium as well, it's awful isn't it but it's just as much of a result of having zero kip as eyebags or the shakes are!
Well I got to eat my steak dinner in the end, but it was a midnight feast as H decided she wanted a half hour drink first, so the veggies were a bit overdone and the garlic butter burned because DH wasnt keeping an eye on it, sitting next to me "supportively" on Facebook on his phone. I wolfed mine down and he finished less than half of his steak "I think I'm going off it" and proclaimed the rest of it "alright". Having waited until after 10pm until I could start cooking anything because of his band practice I could have throttled him.
After feeding H at 8am today and putting her back to bed I went downstairs to express, thinking DH could bring her downstairs when she woke up again but he came downstairs half an hour later in his running gear and is off out. So I'm back upstairs sitting in our dark bedroom waiting for her to wake up as we don't have a monitor yet and I can't hear her from downstairs. She didn't get to sleep til 1am last night so I don't want to wake her prematurely either
Sorry but I just felt like a whinge!

I hope the rest of you are having good mornings so far :)

We bought v a Ewan the dream sheep it's gone down well.

stigz sorry to hear about your crap gp. Of course gps prescribe ranitidibe and omeprazole imagine how much the workload to paediatricians would increase if they had to refer every baby with reflux. If you don't have another gp in the practice then I would go to an urgent care centre or walk in centre.

Think we are going to put tree up today after we tidy the place.

My ds only ever sleeps on my chest what are these sleepy heads? they sound like the answer to my prayers

bump - I think maybe the side off the crib helps, no barrier. Sometimes I wake up with my head on the side of the s'head, where I've not woken up properly but obviously heard her fussing. I think they like to hear your breath close or something.

Lovely morning - boyfriend had pip while I went to the gym then came back and cooked properly. Two hours off! He had a half eaten breakfast and was standing rocking her while she fussed, which amused me slightly - bit of a baptism of fire regards my life at the moment.

My boobs have randomly sorted themselves out. I pumped from each of them at 4am, but no more than normal, and the lumps have vanished.

I just feel so bleak. Can someone with more than one tell me it gets better? I want to run away or get hit by a bus so I can have some sleep. He's 6 weeks tomorrow and still feeding constantly

Sorry goats cross posted there!

Splendide that sounds like a growth spurt to me. H started hers early too, it will pass, I promise xx

Yes it gets better. I've only got one, but at 6 weeks I felt not dissimilar to you, there were definitely tears. Suddenly overnight it changed, just as I was at the end of my rope! Chin up.. it's just a phase, this too shall pass... and other platitudes!

Splendide Lil's 10 weeks and much easier and more fun (though am sure everyone is noticing the more fun they are the more you have to work to get them to nap!), with my first I found 6 weeks and 12 weeks the real milestones where life got easier. If your mood stays bleak, please go and see your GP, PND is common, easily treated and treatment can make the first precious year much easier and more joyful for you all xxxxx

And when it does pass you start to notice all the wee changes in their development that the growth spurt brought, it's a necessary evil and a good thing, he'll be more communicative with his wee sounds and more aware and interested in what's around him, it will come and you'll love it and after a while this time while seem like it was eeeeons ago!

Thanks everyone, I'll hang on as best I can.

splendide I have a toddler and an 8 week old. I can confirm it definitely gets better!! First baby was so so tough, I didn't enjoy the first 3-4 months of my DSs life (although he was 2 months prem which didn't help). But gradually it got better. It just feels like it'll last forever when you're in the middle of a tough patch. Knowing this is really helping me to enjoy DDs baby days much more, the advantage of a smidge of experience I guess. Keep going, look forward to Christmas and by new year your baby will definitely be easier and more fun. Smiles from them make a HUGE difference - you feel a bit of love coming back for all your efforts!

Splendide you are not alone & there is always someone to speak to on here or in RL.
It really does get easier & very quickly & as Kirsti says you will not all these little treats like smiling or following you around the room.
I have 2 & DS is 11 weeks & I really noticed a difference around 8 weeks. I can't even remember how tough it was with DD.
Get yourself a Woombie or Love2dream swaddle, a dummy & a white noise app & rock baby to sleep.
Also, if you are really loosing it feed for an hour, good gulping feed & then stick a dummy in, put a hat on & go out for a walk. If necessary put earphones in drown out the noise. A good tune often helps.

Splendide

Necessary equipment to get through 6 and 12 week growth spurts:

• Dummy
• Bouncy Chair (foot rocking in chair much easier than rocking in arms)
• Swaddle blanket (cot sheet cut in half along short edge to make two long, thin rectangles
• Comfy sofa and plenty to drink when breastfeeding

Thanks guys, I'm so sorry to have jumped on your thread then moaned on! I feel like such a pathetic piece of shit.

Right Ms Splendide that is enough young lady! You are not a pathetic anything, you are a new Mum & it is fucking tough! You are doing very well & it is very, very, very normal to have a wobble. This is part of the reason the thread exists. Xx

Splendide we're all on here to help each other. When I've had no sleep because little miss thinks it's for wimps reading this thread keeps me awake and from losing my temper.
We're all doing so well, don't underestimate how hard being a mum is. And keep talking to us, there's always someone around

splendide I think unless you are the sort of person who really loves babies then the beginning is unrelenting and grim, truthfully. I found it so hard that I wasn't getting anything back from her- it was just demands and more demands and then sleep. We'll be at eight weeks on Monday and while it's been getting easier for the last few days, today has been the first day I've actually had a nice time- there has been spacebetween feeds, smiles, some lying on a mat not on me. So it does come. But it's not a fault in you that's making it seem hard- it's just genuinely really, really hard.

Thank you for being so kind. I'm really sinkng today so having somewhere I can be a bit honest is so helpful.

splendide you are NOT pathetic it is unbelievably tough at the beginning I have four and I promise it does get easier. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason!

Hang in there the best you can do not even attempt anything other than looking after and feeding your baby if that means not showering for four days and eating take aways/pot noodles and cake so be it. Do whatever you need to survive.

Every single person on this thread has been where you are at some point remember you are not alone and everyone is here for you

No one will judge just here to support sending a huge hug

splendide hang on in there, it's really tough! We all have had days where nothing works and it all gets on top of you. Have a rant, I always find it cathartic ! We are only human and we are used to having a "normal" amount of sleep!! Everyone is right it does get easier!

Splendide, as the other posters have said, we've all been there and it does get better. Promise. But if you're struggling, please do give yourself a break. Going for a walk in the day is a good idea, but what really helps me is expressing enough milk to get through the night - say four or five 4oz feeds over the week, freezing as you go - and then handing the stock and baby over to someone else (DP, family, a trusted friend who's been through it themselves) and going to bed for a full night's sleep while they and baby sleep downstairs so you aren't disturbed. I do this once a week and it saves my sanity. Even just knowing I've got that night coming up helps.