November 2012 - Roll call!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2109948-November-2012-Bring-on-the-summer-fun

Calling all lurkers! If you're reading but finding life too hectic to keep up then please check in and give us a brief update.

No I'm still attempting to mind read a lot of the time too Stunt. Although quite often S says something with meaning, repeatedly, and gets v pissed off when I don't understand him.

I am about to chuck not-so-D-H's Xbox onto the front step so he has to step over it in tiny fucking pieces on his way in. He went out at 8pm for a drink and a meal with a friend who is staying over before a day away at hockey tomorrow. I specifically asked him not to be long and not to go into town, but to stay local. I'm v tired, still coughing, and wanted to sleep especially because he is away all day tomorrow. He's fucked off into town, S has been awake since 8.30, demanding Daddy and hunting all over for him, getting increasingly distraught because he isn't here. He's currently wailing at the front door. DH, the stupid fucker is now at least 30 minutes from home instead of 5 minutes as agreed. Oh, and I'm funding this night out too. This is v rare behaviour so am trying not to lose the plot but my rage is building by the second. I want to sleep FFS!

I did manage to jamb all the toys in a box tidy up before the HV arrived so the place didn't look too much like an explosion in a toy factory messy. She wants me to keep on with the ADs for the meantime.

I suppose that since DS1 has ASD and DS2 has an auditory processing disorder I'm hypersensitive about language development. It wouldn't be so bad if J was saying Mum or something similar but he's not even close. Screaming and pointing will only get you so far in life!

I am Glad it went well stunt. Did she have any practical advice? I can completely understand your anxiety regarding J's speech - you have experience and reason. Did you discuss your worries today?

I don't want to be trite to do the "oh, he'll be talking the hind legs off a donkey" so I reckon if you have a concern you should seek professional advice. I would reckon they will say to wait until he is 2 but I see no harm in raising your concerns now.

And zamboni I would be fizzing. Like you I would be maintaining and hiding he inner rage but I would still be fuming

I'd be failing to contain my rage. I'd be a furious ball of fury!

Well just been to tuck j in and he's much cooler and not stirred so far. Fingers crossed.

I think because J's communication skills are still developing there isn't any reason to worry at this point Pass. I gave him a cloth today and told him to go round cleaning things and he knew quite a lot of them such as the stairs. When I said clean the shoes he bent down to wipe his own feet even though he didn't have shoes on so he's interpreting words in context as well, i.e. he knows shoes go on feet. I think he wants to be Macca Pakka, he does the stone stacking, the cleaning and the clapping dance now. When he wants to watch In The Night Garden he sings the theme song. And DS2 has been watching the Lego Movie this week and J has started singing Everything is Awesome - just the tune obviously but it's very strange that he can sing tunes but doesn't have the words.

Stunt I'm going to go to the HV over O's speech and understanding. He's nothing like the other LO's on here.

He screams and tantrums to get what he wants. He doesn't even point. Yesterday was the first time he waved bye bye after doing it at 10 months, then complete blank stares ever since. He waved at DP arriving home tonight. I thought we were both going to cry with joy. Every time we leave him we ask and show him to wave bye bye. And never get anything back.

He does a few simple instructions, a few words, but nothing else. His understanding is REALLY poor. Honestly. I'm at a loss as to why. I chat with him, explain things to him, we read to him ooooh must be 30 times a day (that's all he wants, all day long).

So there must be something I'm missing. And I'll be damned if I am leaving it any longer. I've been concerned for a long time.

At the minute, he has no words other than his name, and baba. That's it. Past words have been forgotten, and it was just 'two', 'all gone', 'cat', 'car' (sounds the same but said in context of the relevant thing) and 'hiya'.

Communication and understanding is limited to the following 'no' (ensues temper tantrum) 'clap hands', 'hi-five', 'turn around' (usually have to sign this too) 'stamp feet', 'do you want some more' (gets a single nod, and a sound like 'em'), 'is that nice' (gets mmmm and a smile), 'do you want a cuddle'. He can anticipate some noises to make in books like roaring or screaming when we get to them.

That's it really. It's nowhere near where other toddlers are at his age. He's very behind. And I think it's the reason for the majority of the tantrums. He doesn't know how to communicate.

Yes, he babbles incessantly, so I guess they will say he's fine, but I just know something isn't fine.

:(

Oh, there was 'dirty', 'naughty' and 'don't touch' at one point. He doesn't say them (or acknowledge them) any more.

Det and Stunt I would agree you should follow your instinct and get things checked. If it's all ok then no harm done. Fwiw L has used words and then stopped again and I was worried for a while but there has been a sudden and very pronounced improvement lately. I hope this happens for you too. His articulation varies in quality, today I was telling him he couldn't have another yoghurt but my mother informed me it turned out he wanted a sausage.

We are at the seaside with my mum & sis having lots of fun. I am sharing a room with L for the first time in over a year. Apart from worrying about him trying to climb over the bed guard or getting stuck in the gap, oh and all his snuffling, shuffling, murmuring and grumbling it's great!

Argh fcking bstard next-door-but-one's c*nting burglar alarm has been going off every 20 minutes since midnight! Just when you go mad, it stops, then when you nod off, it. starts again!!!!! Argh its only woken J once but woken me and DH every time! Think they're on bloody holiday. Non emergency police number reckon they can't do anything as the contact details for the alarm aren't registered with them. When is it reasonable to go round with a baseball bat and knock it off the wall? They're new neighbours and I think it safe to say that no one will ever take that alarm seriously now.... If I had a newborn OMG I'd be psychotic! Shitty letter being composed in my head - I am Hyacinth Bucket tonight!!!!

As for the 'chat' chat - I think go with your gut instincts. Det O seems to be a child of extremes - super precocious in terms of early movement but the opposite for speech. Am sure it will all balance out in the end

The sea search has been called off for my pal who is suspected to have jumped off the cliffs in Orkney. They've found his car at a known suicide point, he's not been seen since Wednesday, but there's no note and the tides some fierce so they may never know what happened. His poor poor parents. I find myself looking at a sleeping J and silently hoping he never feels such depression and hopelessness

You just learn to cope in the heat. We go out at 7.30 and return by 9.30 in the morning, if I plan a day trip it always is somewhere where there is shadow. At home the heat is ok as I have air con in the living room and we have shutters which keeps the heat out. My problems are the afternoons as we get bored but it's way too hot to go out.

det and stunt I completely understand your worries and I hope your boys get there soon. ((Hugs))

Did you get any sleep YW. I think that would drive me up the wall too, I'd be driving off to Tesco to buy earplugs.

How does O compare to DS1 Detective? I'm a great believer in a mother's instinct and if you think there's a problem then definitely get things moving as it could take a while to get to an appointment. My DS1 and DS2 both spoke very late. DS1 in particular had no words at 18 months but by 2 years he was talking in sentences. So I'm assuming J will be the same, once does start talking it will come very quickly. Can O copy noises he hears? J sometimes repeats things he hears on the TV such as wow, t-pow (on Dinopaws) and we watched Despicable Me 2 yesterday with him running round in circles making a minion noise which was extremely cute.

Everyone's still in bed here so I'm getting some me time with a cup of tea and MN. Ah luxury!

I have to get some tidying up and some washing done today and I have a chicken to roast later. What's everyone else up to today?

Morning Stunt. BBQ with family and friends for us, so need to pop out to the supermarket.

Had a great evening out with dh last night, first time in aaaages. Had too much and got a bit squiffy

Brilliant bp you really deserve a great night out and squiffiness.

Glad to see you got a bit of downtime too stunt enjoy your chicken.

I can imagine your pain yw and hope you got some sleep in the end. Luckily that is the kind of thing that I won't have to put up with anymore.

Today is general mooching! I need to clean out the freezer and repatriate some of the stuff I saved from it. ( the whole thing started working again when DH reset it on Thursday night, the engineer turned up on Friday and explained it could have been a glitch with the board due to something or other, it may or may not happen again)

I also have a chicken. But I am going to do Ms Lawsons Praised chicken with some lovely local new pots and carrots from the plot.

Is windy and heavy rain is forecast. But so it was yesterday and we had a couple of light showers only, late afternoon. Lucky I got ignored the forecast and got watering anyway really.

YW sorry to hear about your pal. Hope J is much better today. It's horrid when they are clingy but that makes them hotter - S was the same with the pox.

Det agree with the others, if you are concerned, you are concerned.

Well DH came home eventually but after I'd spent several hours re-settling them. He did get up in the night and at 5 (haha) when S decided it was morning. But he's now fucked off to hockey for the day. It's the last day for an age that he'll do this and I am trying to be reasonable but I am plotting various punishments and may have sent a few arsey, PA texts as well

Yw massive hugs. I had a friend who did the same. Devastated me. I called her my work mum. It is hard for all involved particularly if no note is left. Too many questions.

On a completely different note.... A has decided that between 4-5 am is the best time to poop. Then to stay awake. Today I tried to keep him all shush and in dark. He fell asleep at 6.30 until 7.15. Then I just lay in bed as he played with my phone no idea how to get him to sleep. Also after a late afternoon nap he didn't go to bed until 9. So that didn't make a difference either.

Stunt No, he doesn't copy noises. He can scream and roar on command but that took a lot of practice.

As for how he compares to DS1, well, he was a late talker with his first word at 2. He was always behind with his speech. His language and communication is still not as gold as it could be (in my opinion). But it's never been 'behind enough' for anyone to be concerned.

However I don't remember the lack of understanding which O has. I blame myself for DS1 as I don't think he had enough stimulation from me (because I wasn't sure what I should be doing). So I really don't want to fuck it up with a 2nd child :(

I think if it was just speech I'd be happy to wait it out a little longer. But it's the lack of understanding (and no pointing at what he wants) which worries me greatly.

I assume though, all they would offer would be a hearing test at this point. I think his hearing is fine. But I suppose it needs to be ruled out. If it's not his hearing, then what?!

I looked at Autism and other SN's. He doesn't seem to fit those at all.

Yep we have pox. With the heat the poor sod has hundreds . Still better now than with a newborn. How long til they scab?

Looks like we'll not be flying south to see the ILs this coming weekend. Argh I hope the flights are flexible as otherwise its £400 wasted. Am cross as 28 weeks was as late as I wanted to fly as I'm scared of being stuck 400 miles from home with hardly any toys, clothes, the dog at the kennels, miles away from J's CM with a prem in the NICU. I know they're going to pressure us to travel even later. Not least I'll be even bigger and less comfy in the heat

If the pox has broken out today he might be fine to fly at the weekend. Both of mine were crusty by day 6.

Argh I hope so. Friday would be day six. Blimmin ILs and their "its easier for you to travel to us heavily pregnant and with a toddler" just because FIL is too proud to use the granny mobile at the airport and insists his wife push his wheelchair

Well, bar the rotating head, that was like trying to put Linda Blair from the Exorcist to bed! Emotional doesn't cover it!!! And MIL sounded quite put out about us potentially delaying for a week

Sorry to hear about the pox, and your friend YW

We are camping. I cannot get FB, so this is my only way of keeping in contact with you guys.

The kids have been angelic and J settled the best he ever has. It started raining shortly after we got the tent up so have got very wet and muddy.

Ooh enjoy VQ.

and for chateau wellies. Poor soul. At least you know what was causing those high fevers the other day. FC for rapid scabbing.

Det I don't know really what to suggest, but agree that if you are worried, then get him looked at. He seems bright in other ways though, so as someone else has said, perhaps he has been concentrating on the other stuff.

Nice BBQ here today, but have got rubbish tooth ache. Need to have my wisdom teeth out, because they're all growing horizontally, but am too to do it.

Forgot to share. F seems to have become aware of her, errrr, bodily motions in the past few days. So everytime she wees, poos or indeed trumps, we are regaled with cries of "wee wee". She very proudly did a loud-and-proud trump on the potty earlier before weeing in he washing basket

Flights rearranged for £160 bah grumble . Just couldn't handle the additional stress of hoping they'd all scab over by Friday!