November 2012 - Bring on the summer fun

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2096331-November-2012-All-our-babies-are-18-months-where-has-the-time-gone

You have a problem with one person in the quiche and you think another person is publically backing them. That is not a quiche matter, it is a private matter. I have lost count of the number of times I have taken a discussion with an individual off the boards because I have wanted to go into more detail, either in agreement or disagreement, and not wanted to derail bore the threads.

You have accused quiche members in the last couple of posts of stalking, bullying, being snide, underhand. While doing so you have not named names and deliberately stirred things up by asking us for suggestions for name changes.

The quiche has been massively supportive of you, both publically and privately. But you seem hell bent on causing trouble. If you have a problem with one quiche member, as it appears you do, it is grossly unfair to drag the rest of us into it, in such a snide and underhand manner.

It is not what this quiche is about. I strongly object to your accusations of bullying and being forced out.

I very rarely get upset by what people say on here, but I am in tears of sadness and fury right now. How dare you try and ruin something that was so special!

I still feel weird about it, I had only one man in my life for over 10 years.

VQ is the person referencing other things I've said on threads I've posted on elsewhere. She is also the person I've been toptoeing round for months as she seems to have some kind of problem with me which I suspect dates back to the cloth nappy thread we were both on for a while.

PR, you're the person who is backing her up constantly. You have both been constantly sniping at me, you can try and call it support all you like but it's actually just horrible - a constant two-faced dripfeed of undermining my confidence dressed up as "concern". Unfriending me on facebook was just petty and childish.

I'm not trying to ruin anything. I've had it ruined for me by the pair of you, and don't try and make out like every single person here agrees with you. They don't, they're just protecting themselves by staying well under the parapet and I don't blame people for that. I've been attempting to duck back down there myself but you've decided to make me out to be the bad guy here. I'm too tired to stand up to it any more.

Haven't caught up yet. Just place marking and to say no sun here. I'm currently standing in the pissing rain waiting for my bus home from work.

I can't speak for vq but I will speak for myself.

I did unfriend you on Facebook. Without leaving the quiche myself it was the only way I could not have you in my face as much. It was self-preservation, because I feel very very strongly about some of the things you have said and done, and I don't consider that a friend would say and do these things.

I also won't try and make out that every single person on here agrees with me. I haven't got a clue if people agree or not, and quite frankly, unlike you, don't care.

I don't think I have ever been called two-faced before. Or petty. What a novel experience. Charming.

I have given you plenty of advice on these threads and on Facebook and privately over the months. The recent advice has been out of concern for your son.

Please stop painting yourself out to be a victim. It's getting very tiring.

I do appreciate you actually naming me though. At least other people won't be sat there wondering if you are talking about them. So thank you for that.

Now you can go back to your PMs of support and take solace in the fact that not everyone is the utter bitch you obviously think I am.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry about all the tension at the moment, I really hope this situation resolves itself very soon.

Oooh, I love ginger wine. I don't drink, and ginger wine is a perfect substitute.

How do get the flags next to your name.

The ginger wine I drank was alcoholic - made in the same way as normal wine, but with ginger of course, not grapes.

You can get the flags in your name by going into your profile and adding them. There, ahem, isn't one for Scotland as they didn't qualify for the World Cup.

Lily FWIW I think it is normal you still feel strange about it. You were with him and loved him and were loved by him for a long time. Your grief combined with moving on will never be a completely comfortable experience. But I feel certain it will get easier.

Sorry. Just got to go back to this comment here:

don't try and make out like every single person here agrees with you. They don't, they're just protecting themselves

I wouldn't stoop to such silliness. However your hinting that so much is going on behind the scenes just adds to my distress that you have or are trying to turn this lovely place into a playground. It's pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself. Grow the fuck up.

I got mine from Holland and Barrett. It was lovely, might have to go back and see if they are still selling it

I understand you being pissed off with me Pidj. You know I don't like what you say and believe, and I have been fairly honest about my thoughts. I would like to remind you that the time I said you were hypocritical was after you openly asked what my problem was with you. I think I was really restrained at the time and will not sink to your depths by saying stuff that you would really not want mentioned here.

I think you have been utterly horrid to PR and that is inexcusable. I have the utmost respect for PR and do not want her to leave. I do honestly think the quiche would be a nicer place if you just fucked off.

I have to say the tone of the thread has changed of late and I really don't see it as being PR or VQ's doing - other than perhaps responding to stuff that's pissed them off. Pidj you often seem to come on here to make veiled martyred comments, to play the victim, or just to really unsubtly bitch about strangers (when really I'd be wary of that given your situation) to big yourself up, to offer lots of advice and yet have a huff if you receive advice that differs from what you want to do. Now you seem intent on turning this group into factions - that's just not what we are.

It has spoiled it to some degree and it would be great if we could get back to where we were as a group - as BP says I too would really miss this group for what it once was a place to ask for help and share stories.

As for PMs on the topic - the only person I've received one from was you Pidj clearly trying to get me on side but I couldn't respond because I genuinely didn't agree with what you were doing. Your son was in discomfort, you asked for advice, didn't like it as you couldn't countenance any suggestions contrary to your own views. Why ask? You took his dislike of weeing in a nappy as a sign he was advanced and ready to train we suggested (not disagreeing that he was advanced) it might also be that with an ulcer on his bits weeing in a nappy and getting his ulcer wet would hurt. I imagine it would be as sore as peeing on the raw wounds from epi stitches. If you want a bunch of yes men then that's not us.

I felt sorry for you as a lonely lady going through a tough time who struck me as someone who sometimes inadvertently rubbed folk up the wrong way but wanted to make friends. But some of your comments are so thinly veiled snipes or painfully unsubtle self congratulations that they could only be deliberate - I think they have annoyed people because you must think our collective IQ is miniscule to say them with a straight face. It doesn't make me want to contribute. How are we meant to respond?

Well said pr as always :) I love you posts and your comment about poor Scotland not getting into the world cup made me laugh out loud!

This is all getting a bit heated however I do think it's best to vent publicly as then there can be no confusion or accusing of people attacking personally. As far as I could see everything that had been said, until today possibly, had been said with the clear intentions of giving advice. Advice is informative and based on experience and can be ignored or followed. Opinions and advice differ in everyone and you can choose to take it or leave it. To go on and on about being attacked is petty and childish. However I do see that my post may also come across as being attacking and I don't mean it that was. I'm just sick of all this nonsense!

Goodness my angry typing is filled with errors... I hope it makes sense!

yw again a voice of reason and well said.

Right subject change - help please! How do I stop J flinging himself in a squealing embrace to any dog he sees? Betsy is bomb proof but I'm really aware one day he could get bitten by another dog and it would be my fault that he's so trusting

Put him on a lead too YW?! F is the same, but am trying to remind her that we do gentle pats, rather than ram-your-hand-in-their-mouths.

Chasing I cannot believe it is RAINING? Not a cloud in the sky! Mind you, it is loooong overdue.

What YW said.

Pig, the rain stopped as soon as I got home now I have no plans to leave the house, the sun is shining. Of course.

yw This is a problem for me too. I have dealt with it for DD1 and she stays right back until invited, but LO hasn't yet learned to mistrust other dogs. I think they are still a bit young to be able to process that some dogs might be a danger. So as I did with DD1 when there is another dog I pick her up to get her away from eye level, explaining that it is not her dog and she isn't allowed to touch it without permission. This removes her from the danger and explains the rules in terms she understands (the me and mine phase is something they get to around 18 months from what I can see). She just won't get that dogs can be dangerous until she either sees it, which I don't want her to see, or is a little bit older, enough to imagine it iyswim. That's how I deal with it, along with allowing our own dog to growl when she goes too far. He won't hurt her but being allowed to warn her is a good thing. He never gets told off for growling, it alerts me that she is being disrespectful.

Ah yes.

"Mine"

That's yesterdays new word. And haven't we heard about it!

We still have no words.... He just won't speak!

Life was so much easier when it was just DD1 shrieking Mine and LO just handing whatever it is back. Now they're both at it, even stuff which I have bought two of.

izzy he's no doubt thinking very loudly :o please don't worry, enjoy it while it lasts.

Izzy we also had no words until 3 weeks ago. Now she won't shut up! He'll get there.

What confuses me is he has said about ten words once and then never again. He used to say mum all the time but won't even say that. Very odd!

Same here YW - S loves 'dog-aws' so much he gets excited too. DD is a bit fearful so naturally hangs back but S I just restrain gently and remind him that we don't touch dogs we don't know because we might scare them or make them jump. I'm sure he thinks I'm being mean but I am hoping that with consistency he will get the message.

So hot here! Big wave to BPLP as I am waiting for a train at the station in your town! Am off to start on the soon.