Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

Flip

1 2 ··· 23 24 25 ··· 39 40

Original poster

November 2012 - What is going on with these babies?

999 replies

StuntNun · 30/01/2014 21:55

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1968333-November-2012-Diet-plans-and-love-bubbles

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

StuntNun · 09/02/2014 19:19

I know it's hard to be objective about it Chasing but it's the change from one person to another that's causing the stress to O. I'm sure when you're XP shows up then O is all excited because he's secure in his own home and he hasn't seen him for ages. When he's away from you he's probably just getting settled in when he comes back home so that the change is more overwhelming for him coming home. Children place much more stock in familiar places and routines than we do and change is difficult for them.

OP posts:

ChasingDaisy · 09/02/2014 19:24

Thank you quiche x

Zamboni, that is very reassuring to hear, thank you. He is always tired when he comes back, so I think that has a lot to do with it. I try to keep our week to the same routine so that he has stability when he is here, as I know his weekends can be quite chaotic. I think that's the right thing for O - but obviously it results in the weekends being more 'fun'. I figure that my job is to create a stable base for him and that's what I'm trying to do.

Yep Sophia, he is a beardy A lovely, kind, sweet, intelligent beyond belief, beardy

ChasingDaisy · 09/02/2014 19:26

Stunt, that's what upsets me really. That O has this upheaval every week. It must be emotionally draining for him and I hate that he has to deal with that at such a young age. You should see how happy he is when me, XP and him are all together

Sophiathesnowfairy · 09/02/2014 19:30

There is a point In That with the upheaval, but you are doing well having a strong routine that he will get used to, if it starts becoming ad hoc with no routine then he won't know what to expect next.

ChasingDaisy · 09/02/2014 19:41

I was hoping that because it's been the same routine since he was 6 months old, he would view it as normal and it wouldn't upset him as much. But by Monday morning he is always completely fine - if a little tired - and our bond feels as strong as ever.

YellowWellies · 09/02/2014 19:54

Chasing at the moment they don't have words to express or help them to understand their emotions. So every upset can be off the scale. Sometimes J descends into absolute histrionics over the littlest things (that would almost be funny) but which to him are big things. It will get easier for him to process over the next year xx

Lily311 · 09/02/2014 19:54

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm going to get a bed guard for her, I need to know this won't happen again.

We are at my parents tonight, went out for a drink with an old school friend. I had social life today .

chasing as I suggested try to do handover somewhere else. Might be easier if he is strapped in the buggy?

BigPigLittlePig · 09/02/2014 19:59

Story for you chasing.

When my parents had F, she was the model child. Perfect behaviour, followed my mum around, cuddling in excitedly to my dad for stories. But quiet, and subdued. Amd when we turned up? Cue hysteria, tantrums etc.

And when dh dropped 6yo dsd home tonight, she had to be prised off of him whilst having the mother of all tantrums. Horrible for those emotionally involved but entirely normal.

It doesn't make them the fave parent. When O is poorly, he'll be wanting his mum. When he has a nightmare? Mummy. When he wants to tell someone his good news? Mummy. Etc etc.

Glad he liked the bf tho, great news!

ChasingDaisy · 09/02/2014 20:01

Thanks pig And YW, you are definitely right about that. O can have ridiculous tantrums over the tiniest of things. Which is usually utterly hilarious

BigPigLittlePig · 09/02/2014 20:05

Chasing I just read your comment about O being happiest when the 3 of you are together. I wish I could find your post not long after you had left, when you aid that O had gone from being a timid, nervous child to a smily, outgoing confident wee lad. His longterm happiness depends upon you and xp NOT living together. He is just to small to realise that yet.

ValiumQueen · 09/02/2014 20:52

Excellent point BP. Excellent point.

Chasing, you will always be the favourite parent, but it is important he has a relationship with his dad too. He will be fine x as will you x

Pikz · 09/02/2014 21:21

Chasing it is just change. Explain to me why L doesn't cry and is all smiles when his dad collects him and howls when I collect him from nursery! Just change.

Lovely day with DP very much needed. Home in bed preparing myself for being woken any time from now...even an hours sleep would be progress. He's refusing to eat.

Evilwater · 09/02/2014 21:27

Sorry for not posting, I've been at work all day yesterday.

chasing don't worry it's only a novel thing. I'm sure when he is older it will be different. I know exactly how you feel, but my friend who is a single mum with grown up kids, her children (her own and the step) love living with her cause she creates a loving and stable home. They don't have a two pennies to rub together.

I've had it in writing that ex does not want to see his son in the afternoons, due to his job, but he does want to see him over weekend. Ex had not asked for a weekend visit since we spilt.
Not sure what to do next, I've getting a advice from my finance guy soon.

Evil

Elizadoesdolittle · 09/02/2014 22:05

pikz glad you had a lovely day, what did you get up to?

chasing glad the meeting with bf went well. Sorry you had a bad handover. Others on here have spoken a lot of sense, as per usual.

We had a productive morning clearing out the loft. Found a kite up there so took it to the playing fields near by and flew it. Was lovely. Very mary poppins. Then home for hot chocolate and dinner made by DH.

GTbaby · 09/02/2014 22:09

Right decision made. On going to make it to 5 months. If I'm not sleeping any better and or he isn't going longer between feeds, I'm quitting.

Just 4weeks. That's it.

He is In His cot now at least. With a dummy

BigPigLittlePig · 09/02/2014 22:14

Another night, another non sleeping baby. It has been 3 weeks since dh and I slept in a the same bed, and that was only because my parents had F. No more. No more mr nice guy

Am currently camped out on her bedroom floor trying to ignore her. If I leave the room she becomes hysterical to the point of choking...

GTbaby · 09/02/2014 22:23

You some of you guys have darlings who cry up. Could you tell at 4 months that at 4 months? As a few times were A has cried and been left a while (I'm in loo ) he seems to get hysteric. He is kinda falling asleep on my now. Debating if I should even bother with cot. FH is in night shift. May get more rest if A n I give in and snuggle it out.

Shall I be really good and put away the iPad. I'm so tiered I don't think I can manage even one episode of the good wife. Ps it's fab!

YellowWellies · 09/02/2014 22:24

Hugs and to GT Pikz and BP good luck on operation "Go the f*ck to sleep".

Evil I'm not sure what to suggest but I do hope you sort out a solution you're happy with

Eliza sounds fab!

We've just been watching Scandimania - my Scandiphilia is now off the charts!

Thanks to whoever suggested kedgeree - DH made a dairy free version of Rick Stein's for tea and Jonas loved it! He much prefers his Dad's cooking to mine. Little ingrate!

YellowWellies · 09/02/2014 22:24

GT yes I could tell that by four months.

BigPigLittlePig · 09/02/2014 22:29

Yes same here. But with the underlying ishoos with reflux, the opportunities to cry were far far more frequent than many of he other RL babies I came across. I cannot believe that at 15mo, she still won't sleep. Just, what the fuck!?

BigPigLittlePig · 09/02/2014 22:32

Batteries about to run out here so my mind wil be made up for me.

Am stressing heaps, in 6 weeks time, I change to a new rota, where my shifts are fucking atrocious. A week each of the following. 9-5, 12-8, 5-1, nights. And repeat. For 4 months. Not sure how I'm going to manage that kind of shit on limited sleep.

Lily311 · 10/02/2014 06:13

bp sorry to hear about the shifts:(
evil not sure what to suggest. Do you have childcare for afternoons? Or how does it work now?
gt good on the next goal! i stopped bf at 5 months and I'm really proud I could manage as long.

I went out with an old friend yesterday, was awesome. She lives in Germany now and so easy to talk to her. Going home today, we stayed overnight at my parents.

Pikz · 10/02/2014 06:45

GT I had a non dairy free baby and he was a cryer upper and you could definitely tell at 4 months. We kept up with cot but lots of rocking and singing!

He only went and slept through after the week from hell. Thank duck as I'm already on the m25.

BP I completely get batteries run out. Any clues to the cause so we could all try and help?

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2014 06:48

Morning all.

J was in with us last night after waking every hour. He is so full of snot, and refluxy with it, plus his skin is still red. DH woke with him for a week and has had enough. I have done so for 15 months. He just does not seem to understand this.

Into work for a couple of hours to finish off my notes, then out for the day with DD1. We are going to every single charity shop we can get to. Our idea of heaven, interspersed with the odd bit of junk food

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2014 06:49

Glad he slept Pikz x

Flip

1 2 ··· 23 24 25 ··· 39 40