December 08 ers still going strong.

[Vagolajahooli]

Hello ladies, can you believe we will be entering into a 6th year of this thread this year?

Should add I worked for them for almost 10yrs. I still see the boys now. Although I have to hide them on FB now they are teens going out and getting drunk. We still talk about her and I always make a point of remembering her to them.

Jam from your experience as a friend to someone in this situation, what might be the best way to talk to her? Our only connection really is our kids being in the same class at school.

I guess the really difficult thing is how to say to someone "your family will survive without you", because that's the bottom line, without making it sound like "you are dispensible" which is completely the opposite to the truth.

Because she knows this already jump. You can offer help and good suggestions of things she can do. Memory boxes. Or letters for them to open at milestone bdays. But ultimately she knows her children will survive and her family will grow and move on. The thing that will most prob see her through is knowing that they will be ok. Not at first but in time.

JJ at this stage she'll probably be sick of people tip toeing around her with lovely sympathetic smiles. I think she would appreciate this advice and someone coming straight to the point. I've doubt it will upset her, of course it will, but that isn't a reason not to do it. I wish someone had told my dad to write a letter to me or take a photo of him cuddling me or just more photos in general (but to be fair people did take as many photos back then). Of she hasn't already confronted the realisation that her family will go on without her, she will but you will give her a practical way to cope with that and feel that she can help towards her children coping.

I'm thinking of stopping my masters and doing teachinginsread!

Teaching instead (stupid phone & stupid headache damn that traminer reisling)

I don't blame you Vag, sounds like madness!

JJ she knows her family is going to go on without her. It sounds like what she wants and needs are ideas to help them so that she can go in peace knowing she has done her best to make sure they have support and memories after her death.

Baby has dodgy nappies and a stinking cold. I'm snotty too of course because me and the baby share everything . I have a slot booked locally for the dcs to have proper photos done this afternoon. Ds2 will look lovely all snot smeared and red nosed. Can't really cancel as is a special deal, £20 for a CD of all your photos.

I have however comforted myself by buying 2 more Chalet School books for my collection, a reference book on medications and breastfeeding and a copy of When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit for ds1 as he has brought home a Children in History reading book (again, school keep losing track of what he has and hasn't read) and has been going on about Anne Frank. Think the full Anne Frank still a bit much for him but he should enjoy Judith Kerr.

Indith on my list of my top ten favourite books is When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit! Have you read the other two books in the series?

No I haven't, really must. Did you see the documentary in Judith Kerr on TV a while ago?

Yes. She is an extraordinary woman

Yuckity, yuck to the sick bug DD2, DS and I have been struck down with this weekend. I'm back to work tomorrow so this is shocking timing. I'm so fed up of bugs and germs.

JJ, it's nice to hear from you but not nice to hear about your friend. I would go up to her say I was sorry to hear her news, offer any help and mention I'd lost my mum young and say she should ask anytime if she wanted any advice on how to help her DCs cope. How are you and the girls? Do you hear from SL at all?

Yay to the discharge Jammie!

What would you reach Veg? And to which age group? Is this prompted by the costs of re registering as an Aussie nurse?

Right, off to dust of my suit and brief the au pair on caring for vomming littles. She's never even changed a healthy nappy so this ain't going to be pretty.

JJ do you see the mum at drop off or pick up? Maybe you could just mention your situation and give her your email/ ask for hers and start things off that way. I imagine it would be easier to arrange to talk properly over coffee than have a rushed chat.

Hope you're ok. It must bring up lots of feelings for you. My dad died before I was born but I do wish I had a letter or something especially for me.

Thanks all. I see her or her DH every morning at drop off, will try and say hello and let them know the situation in case they want to talk more.

Hearty is this a new au pair? Last time I was on you had an AP who couldn't cook or anything useful, would certainly hope she'd done a nappy by now if the same one!

JJ when one of DS1's friend's dad died suddenly a year or so ago I wanted to let the mum know that I had lost my dad as a child so I understood what her son & daughter felt. I wasn't sure how to approach her (or how to explain it as the mum doesn't speak any English and my dutch didn't stretch that far) so I spoke to the headteacher. She was lovely about it and spoke to the mum about it. She was very sweet and we arranged lots of play dates when her son came back to school after his dads death. Maybe if you are finding it hard to initiate you could speak to the head teacher.

JJ These are all very wise words from people. What a terribly sad situation.

Lady, how are you doing? I hope you're ok.

Hearty, how are the kids? How was the au pair? How is it being back at work? I don't know how you manage it.

DD3 slept through til 6 this morning. A minor miracle as the night before she'd been up at 2.45 and again for the day at 4.45am. Joy. Guess she was knackered. I did have a little co sleeping snooze with her at 6.30am for half an hour yesterday, which was rather lovely. My first one ever with any of the kids as babies!

Brrr. It's so cold today I can hardly focus. Am keen to light the fire already, but think it might be a bit early...

We went to stay with DD1's godmother this weekend. It was so lovely. They live in deep Hampshire and it is very very beautiful. They have an enormous open plan converted barn, beautifully done up with gorgeous posh furniture. Thank god we've trained the dog not to go on the sofa!! She was very good. My friend has 2 daughters the same age as my 2 big girls and they played beautifully together. We hardly saw them, in fact. And they had a marvellous time running around naughtily upstairs til 9pm and up at 6am. Cue two very tired girls yesterday. We were all knackered and DH and I v grumpy! Never mind. It was worth it. not hungover at all

I'm a bit chilly too Beans. We have a thermomstat heating system and have been getting a bit hot overnight so turned it down last night. But now I can't seem to get the house to warm up.

Hope JJ managed to get her message across to that poor Mum.

Your weekend sounds lovely Beans.

So I've been ranting on Facebook about my motherlands nursing registration board. Stupid poo heads require me to do a re-entry course and relevant nursing practical experience in order to return to practice, due to it being sometime since I last nursed and I am no longer registered with anybody. Fair enough. However, the return to practice course is a 3 week equivalent full time course (though spread over a couple of months) and 150 hours of unpaid prac work. Again not too bad and fair enough, except that I would have to pay $10,000 for the pleasure! It is probably equivalent to 7000 pounds! The Masters I am currently doing is equivalent to 2 years full time at tertiary level and it costs $23,000 and I get a masters at the end! Not just the right to work in my profession. I am really pissed off as I have loads if experience and lot to offer the Australian health system. Though I am one of the lucky ones, girls who qualified before the Degree in nursing was introduced have to go back and do three years at Uni! Redonculous. Anyway, as I've said I have been looking at teaching and DH and I have chatted about it and I've decided to go for it. I have submitted an application with my Uni to change my Masters in Int Health to a Masters in Teaching (primary) and hopefully will hear back early next month. I've been chatting online with friends who are teachers and feel very positive about it being for me, and on Wednesday I'm going to have a chat to a friend I did my nursing degree with who went back to uni to become a teacher too. I love nursing and have been very honoured to work with some amazing people and share some sad, happy and very special experiences with patients and their families. But If I'm honest there was a lot of crap too, and I was not looking forward to going back to shift work. Plus I will have the holidays with my boys! I can still use my experience as I can look at going into Special needs education.

Ok rant over.

Hey Rubes all this made me think of a story of an Australian doctor who working in the US. He was an amazing surgeon, a leader in his field in the US. Anyway his wife wanted to move back to Australia and gave him an ultimatum. So he applied to come back to australia but the AMA wouldn't give him a licence unless he could prove he was a leader in his area. So he wrote 79 papers, spoke at conferences etc did all the right things. They finally granted him a licence to work but he had to take a big step down professionally and of course a big paycut! Crazy. All the old dead wood at the AMA are so near sighted, they see anything outside of Australia as less than them, or a threat.

It is just crazy Vag. Especially people having to go back and do the degree. Just stupid. No point elaborating on that because we are all thinking the same thing!

I know Indith, when you consider that in the UK those same women (because it is mostly women who take time out to have kids) could do a quick re-entry course then go to Uni for just 18 months and come out as midwives!

Sorry for slight absence - tbh I struggle with hearing kids lose a parent as I put myself in their shoes and on it goes (we probably all do but I REALLY obsess)Probably sounds awfully self centered but it makes me so sad that I'm best off skimming over. Seriously no disrespect JJ - I am so sorry for your friend, and also had a hard time with Ladys news, however I'm so glad for everyone on here who is able to offer support and advice. I'm weak at times.

Vag, you are so multiskilled! Good for you. I bet you will be as brilliant at teaching as you were at nursing. Bloody Aussie's too up their own arses, miss out on more excellent medical staff.
it's a no brainer for US. It didn't make sense dh even doing a 12 month fellowship over there let alone permanent job anytime soon. The 2 guys on fellowship in Sydney had to take out small loans to fund going, as they weren't allowed to do any private work at the same time which is most of the docs here livelihood. We just would not be able to bank role the debt we have here, then come back to zero again, and then if we went permanently, we'd be stuck in the back or Burke with dh not allowed to do any private for 10 years. Not exactly what he wants after the long hard slug and he's no only weeks or a few short months from being able to here, with referrals being pretty much a sure thing right away. Makes me that my home country conducts things this way.

Arti hope things settle down with going back to work. And ditto about the Au Pair.... never changed a nappy? wtf?

Beans, sounds delightful. As does that house - sounds like what we want one day!

had a lovely day yesterday - we did 7 miles round Great Windsor Park on the bikes. DS is a bloody trooper and was telling us to hurry up. Speedy little thing now he has gears to get up the hills! DD on the other hand was a dead weight on the back of my bike whining the whole way about either being tired (wtf she's just sitting there) or hungry, then majorly melted down when dh gave her a biscuit but didn't realize she wanted to "open the lid herself" Thank God we didn't let her take the newly sprayed (ds old one) balance bike! I'm not sure I could have bared it.

Right I must get going as loads to do.

Waaaaahh that moment when you need a poo and the baby needs fed. Poo won!! Beans I know you will appreciate this.

Vag don't forget the part about courses in the UK being fully funded and with a small bursary to help with living expenses!

I just don't get it. How can you say you want, value and need more professionals yet make it so hard to go and work there? How many people can actually afford to take on that sort of expense? Madness.

I'm sure you'll be a great teacher. The focus on SEN sounds fab. You show such passion when it comes to school nursing so it does seem like a logical step for you.

Rubes I think you'll it is because you are highly empathetic that you feel that way, rather than self centered. I have to admit that is another big draw away from paeds nursing for me. I found losing a patient always very hard to deal with as I imagined how the family would feel.

also nothing drives me crazy more when I give DS2 something he has been asking whinging for and maybe opening a packet or breaking a biscuit in half and bang he explodes at me for doing something he didn't want me to do or that he wanted to do. Grrr.

I've just been for a filling. I bloody hate dentists

Jam, no point in shitting yourself just for a few moments of screaming. glad the poo won. DH almost divorced me last week because my farts were so rancid. twas a proud moment.

Vag, that sounds extraordinary. why would they make it so prohibitive for someone so valuable to go bqck to work. nuts.

rubes, your DS is a proper trooper!!