Ello all :) am off work a bit under the weather at the moment, finally got what A and dp had last week!
Blizy I LOVE the name Rory. I know a Rauri which I really like too. Can you convince dh?! Our boys name was Leon. I like myles/miles too.
Wiggles so pleased you've had good news, hope all goes well with the op and he recovers well. Sounds very stressful, really hope you can all have a nice chilled out Xmas.
Mizk 
at hot tub lust! put it on your Xmas list! I'm gonna have a good rant about pil so get ready... ;)
Well. Here what happened with pil when they visited in April/may this year to help get our house ready to go on the market. There was a bit of tension in that they were working really hard, doing loads for us painting etc so we had to be grateful but that meant tiptoeing around them a bit.
Then I challenged mil when she lied about something. I'll put the whole thing - we were talking about people who use disabled parking (!) when they're not disabled. She said she would never do that it's terrible etc. Except that when they came to my dad's funeral, that exactly what they did, they used dp's grans disabled badge to park near the church because they were late and there was no parking. And I wouldn't mind, except that she came up to me straight after the service outside, laughing about it and telling me exactly what they'd done while I was waiting to go to the crem. I remember trying to walk away from her and she just followed me laughing about how they'd used the disabled badge to park nearby hahaha :/
So, I had to challenge her when she said how terrible it is. If it had been anything else, or if had been any other time that they'd used the blue badge I wouldn't have given a shit, but it was just the fact it was at my dad's funeral and she made such a big out of it.
So I said yes you have, and reminded her. Well her face changed and she said "no we didn't", then said " well if we did it wasn't my idea, it was (fil's name)". So he comes in and straight away she demanded of him "did we use the blue badge at ponyos dad's funeral?" He said no, then said oh yes we might have done. And mil said "well that would have been you deciding to do that, no way would I use the blue badge it's disgusting etc" 
So that pissed me off. Then me, dp and fil took A to soft play, mil didn't want to come, wanted to stay at house and paint. After soft play A was hungry, we we to to a pub next door but first tried to call mil to see if she wanted to come meet us, or if she wanted us to get fish and chips and bring it home. Tried calling her several times, no answer. Waited a bit, no callback.
I wanted to get A fed and we were hungry so went to pub for lunch, assuming mil would call us back then could come meet us (pub isn't too far). Had lunch, all nice, no phone call.
Go home, I'm upstairs faffing about with A when I realise it's all gone a bit quiet and wonder where everyone is. Look outside, dp and pil are sat outside our house in their camper van and then I realise they're having a massive barney (similar to a year or so ago).
So what's happened is, mil has kicked off that we had food without her, and then everything else had been brought into it too. Dp has lost his cool and shouted at her, she's accused him of being violent to me and A because he can't keep his temper (the only person he loses his temper with is her!) and she's wound him up. He got called ungrateful, all sorts.
They spent over 2 hours in that camper van arguing, and afterwards mil came in and said to me "it's not about going for food, it's all about him (dp) and his issues" or something. She tried to hug me but I couldn't, I picked A up and went to the park for about 2 hours until they'd gone.
Dp said it was weird when they were arguing, because one minute she'd be in tears, then her face would change in a second and she be furious, full of hate, then it would change again and she be all sorry for herself. And his dad just sat there and didn't say much.
But were kind of made to feel like ungrateful shits because they were here painting our house and we left mil out of lunch?
Except that we didn't ask them to paint our house, they decided to do it. The only time they spent with A was fil at soft play, and a little bit of time at the house. Pil always say "we're going to come to visit A every month and spend quality time with her" but they never have. Mil read her a book and made it a really big deal, then when A wouldn't give her a hug later that day mil said "oh charming! I read you a book earlier!" Or similar.
So really I don't mind they're not seeing A as much as they say, but it's the broken promises that I don't want continuing as she gets older.
So! Now fil is being our solicitor for selling the our house. Except he's messed up somewhere, as the estate agent told us on Monday, and not sent stuff off as quickly as he should have done, and not people further down the chain are threatening to pull out, as is our buyer
Fwiw, I didn't want fil toe our solicitor, I don't think dp did particularly, but if dp had said no it would have caused another huge family row.
That's taken me about half an hour to write hope it makes sense!
I've not seen pil since they were here painting, dp took A to visit them in august which was ok. They keep saying they're going to come here and take A clothes shopping but what a surprise, they've not been yet.
Fell free to tell me if iabu btw, I'm sure mil has her own take on this whole thing ;)