March 2013 - time to wrap them all up in tinsel

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

worse we're like Plonky on the timings - we keep mealtimes and milktimes separate. I spotted something in Evil Baby Whisperer that suggested around this age milk should be at the time you'd give a snack. Thinking about it, that's pretty much what we do - milk at the crack of dawn, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, food at 9am, 1pm and 5pm. It seems to work, and Fartypants is definitely in the process of reducing milk herself. Those middle two feeds, she's having about four ounces now.

How is the worselet on mush? Does she show any preferences? If we were sticking with baby led weaning we'd be getting absolutely nowhere. Savoury mushes, she'll try a mouthful then get distracted by the cat. Fruit mushes, she practically inhales. For a reduced stress option, can I suggest getting yourself to Asda? They've a hell of a range of cheap fruity mushes, and then at least you're not having to throw away purees you've spent hours lovingly creating.

Incidentally, six month old Molly may love her porridge, but all that means is that Molly's a total weirdo - porridge is vile. It's weetabix all the way round here, with mashed banana in.

eco hang in there, it does get better. How long until 37 weeks for you?

I am thanking my heathen gods we don't have crawling yet. Nappy changes with rolling are bad enough. Especially when it's a particularly horrific one.

Right, far too many of you are talking about 9m checks... How do you know about these? Who told you? Why don't I know?!? Who should I be speaking to?

I wasn't here in April. Can anyone summarise the CC debacle? (Unless of course it risks offending any of us?!?)

Weird one here. We've had 5 days of non-pukey baby after last week's weird evening vomming bug. Then today, huge pukes again. One at 10am which I assumed was flukey one off, one at 5 whilst I was making her dinner (bottle had been at 3.30ish so quite a while after) then, yet again, during bedtime bottle. Full on stinky stomach emptying pukes. Perfectly chirpy inbetween once the indignity of being stripped of sicky clothes was over. And the griping stomach pains I had last week seem to be back as well. Could we have recaught the same bug? I learnt in A-Level biology that isn't supposed to happen...

As for the crawling/pulling up/cruising thing. I'm pretty sure that if dd didn't spend 3 days a week in my mum's huge living room she wouldn't be mobile, she may have been at it for a couple of months but has only just started really going anywhere in our tiny house where everything is within reach...

something to the tiny beads in
a bottle- sounds perfect for choking to me!

Gerry we have 12 month checks here not
9month. No idea why it's different. I assume
the HV will inform you?!

Plonky are you getting married soon? I
love wedding chat. I agree thigh no one
will see you thighs in a lovely wedding dress.
If they can it may be a wee bit short...

Stormy yes fill us in on the CC debacle.
In fact I might read the whole thread
when I get a spare hour or so!!

Haha yes Shattered, a thigh revealing wedding dress might be a bit much. Damn.

Gerry we just got a letter inviting us to a nine month check, and they'd normally then see DS at 2 years old. As he's taking his time over crawling etc they want get in touch in March.

Right, the cc debacle. DS was six weeks old and dp had been away for five days. I'd stayed a few nights at my parents who provided excellent support and lots of hands on help. Then we were alone for the first time in DS' life. We'd just introduced a bedtime to get DS used to going down, so I gave him a bottle and popped him in his cot. I spent the next hour going up and downstairs with no real idea what I was doing. Every time he seemed to drop off I'd try to make dinner but he'd cry again. I came on here for support and was flamed for leaving him to cry for eight minutes. Those who flamed were not regular posters, but lurked until they threw insults.

Stormy, Eig and wing leapt to my defence, made me feel human. The reality is that I was knackered, DS was waking twice a night for feeds and solo parenting is bloody hard. Then I was called irresponsible. Needless to say I started smoking again! Honestly it goes down as on of the most stressful, depressing nights in my adult life.

Gerry, the hv will be in touch when your check up is due. It's anywhere between seven months and a year so no need to panic that you've been forgotten about.

The cc debacle started because, despite what our parents tell us, six week old babies are rubbish at sleeping. Plonky was after suggestions of possible ways to get her son to sleep. We discussed options, and I mentioned controlled crying. We were only talking about how it's supposed to work, but from the reactions of some occasional posters you'd be forgiven for thinking I'd admitted to putting my baby on a spike for the night and was encouraging Plonky to do the same.

Needless to say, Plonky and I tried cc. and have had good sleepers ever since. Those occasional posters have never been back. I can only assume they're still staggering about in a sleep deprived haze.

It annoyed me at the time though, because this isn't AIBU. It's a postnatal support thread. The clue's in the name: support. I think everyone still here understands that, because otherwise we'd never have made it through the conversation about circumcision...

The cattle are lowing, etc. Best dash.

Good morning all

I had forgotten about the cc debacle. So is what i do a cc method? Basically i take ds to his cot when its nap time and bed time. He whinges in bed until he falls asleep. Obviously if he is uncontrollably crying i go to him and give him cuddles. I just want to see if it is one of those things i need to add on to my list to say i wasn't going to do but end up doing, right next to bf, use of dummy etc.

Gerry as stormy and the others have said. Checks are done at different months depending on where you live.

something i think i get where the hv are coming with the bead in a bottle. I think around this time babies start to learn objects can be found by lifting lids, under the blanket etc. Please correct me if im wrong anyone.
Although our hv didnt do know activities with ds. She went by what i had put on the questionaire and did the general "hello gorgeous". He put his arms out to go to her and little did she know he only did that to get to her glasses and not for a cuddle.

Day 2 of morning nap failure. Last night ds was amazing so he is forgiven for his refusal to nap.

I meant to say in relation the list , vice versa as i did not get past week 2 of bf which 9 months on still bugs me. Dh's family member said dh's clinginess may be due to me not breastfeeding him. Comments like do not help.

Yummy I feel the same about my failure over breastfeeding. Those comments are very hurtful and altogether unnecessary - all nine month old babies are clingy! You're his mum, he's supposed to cling to you, it's a sign of a good bond. And this is the age when separation anxiety kicks in.

When we have another I am going into hospital armed with an arsenal of breastfeeding info, a phone filled with numbers for la leche league etc, and an acceptance that new babies feed constantly. And knowledge that crystals in the nappy are not a reason to resort to formula. Yes, I'm still bitter!

plonky that's terrible that you got such bad advice about crystals in nappy - this is basic midwifery knowledge! The cc debacle got so out of hand. I think people at the time were just surprised to see it discussed as an option for a 6 week old. Many of us might privately feel strongly about cc and cio one way or another but ultimately this is a support thread where we share ideas and we do what works! I did the total opposite to crying and cuddled, sang and stroked DD to sleep every night and bar a few hick ups along the way when sleep regression hit she has been a fab sleeper. So just goes to show that many different things works.

yummy that comment over clinginess is ridiculous. I ebf on demand and DD has been clinging since about 3 months old. She won't be held by anyone except me, DH and her nanny (and that took a while). So breastfeeding or not has nothing to do with it!

Wow stormy eight minutes? That's harsh-
I've been astounded at the vitriol that flows
on other threads I've read through

X posts sorry. I agree plonky- terrible MW
advice. Have you read the 'what annoyed
you in labour thread'? Similar helpful advice
there!!!

mini shredded wheat with just enough milk, thick beef stew with baton carrots and mushrooms, American pancakes with all sorts in like cheese and spinach, stick shaped bread, fish cakes, roasted wedges of veg. they all work for us shattered.
we just off to my work Christmas lunch so more later!

No no, the eight minutes was Plonky. I left mine for an hour. Not that she was screaming nonstop for that hour - she'd cry for a few minutes then shut up for a few minutes. For three days it took up to an hour for her to give up and go to sleep, and she's been fine ever since (except for the dummy issues, which thank God we are past now). I do find now that cc doesn't really work though - if I keep sticking my head in it just winds her up more. So a few weeks back, when DD decided she wasn't going to sleep, I ended up just leaving her to it. Cried for forty five minutes, went to sleep, and stayed that way. And since then when she's woken in the night (frequently at the moment what with the coughing) she does just roll over and go back to sleep.

yummy I'd say your method is just common sense. Sometimes you can just tell they're not going to go down, sometimes you know they probably will if you leave them to it, you just have to trust your judgement about which situation you're in today. I think strictly speaking for it to be cc you have to go back in at regular intervals. If you're just leaving him to it it's cio. But if he's just whingeing a bit I wouldn't call it that. A lot of babies whinge a bit before they go to sleep, it's normal. Oh, and your DH's family member is a pillock!

Are we all still carrying the breastfeeding guilt around, then? I tell myself that if I'd stuck with breastfeeding my baby would have starved to death, so formula was clearly the right decision, but still. The guilt niggles. And if it weren't for people banging on about how breast milk is the ambrosia of the gods I'd probably have stopped thinking about it by now.

My only tip for BLW, Shattered, is to resign yourself to spending the rest of your life picking food up off the floor, shouting "Three second rule!" as you pick the cat hairs off, and throwing it in front of your baby. Who will eat nothing. Do you have a pantry to go and weep in when it all gets too much?

As I'm still breastfeeding I'm not sure I can avenge the guilt for you but here goes. I'm glad I breastfed but its been bloody hard work in many ways. My daughter doesn't sleep, very much, ever. I am tired. She won't go to anyone but me and nobody else can settle her so either I stay with her all the time and sometimes resent her or I leave her with someone else and she's unhappy. She's had 5 colds, rotavirus, D&V, general grumbling. Some days I just adore the lovely snuggly feeling of it, some I hate the scratching and biting and pulling at me, oh yes and shes on the 98th centile for weight so is a bit of a chubber although ridiculously cute There's just as many ups and downs as there is with bottle feeding and it certainly doesn't give you this much lauded perfect, picture of health baby. It's nice and convenient for the first 6 months if you're out and about and I feel lucky that it worked for me but babies will be what they'll be and it certainly isn't the magical answer to babies of wonder!

I now have a dilemma, I'm meeting a friend for mince pies and mulled wine and madam is having a prolonged nap. Do I be good mummy and leave her to sleep then give her lunch here therefore missing festive fun, or do i wake her up, take her lunch with me and suck up the car ride of a whiny hungry baby. Ah the dilemmas of maternity leave!

Lots going on on here! Excellent as there is nothing much of interest going on anywhere else in my life right now, so all entertainment is much appreciated.

The cc debate sounded like a right laugh. Glad I missed that one. Nothing more irritating than a holier than thou perfect parent reminding the rest of us of our failings as human beings. I have many failings. If you spot any, feel free not to point them out. If you do however, be prepared for me to smile and ignore you. Smiling and ignoring is what I do best after walking aimlessly across fields, and is a tactic that comes in very handy when DH has useful advice on how to raise the worselet. The man reads far too many books, none of which are on dd's reading list. She's still on pictures and fuzzy stuff. Stands to reason then she has no idea about the standard way of doing things, and merrily goes about her day doing everything her way.

Shattered as a fellow parent of a food refusnik my advice, ignore the HV. Mine reduced both me and the tiddler to tears by sternly insisting on not more than 3 bottles a day, cutting out the bread, and feeding her portions of proper meals. Cue a very hungry non sleeping baby, a very stressed mummy, and a full scale rebellion. My current tactic is to completely relax, give her the milk she wants, offer her things she likes (purées) along side things she doesn't (bits of chicken and veg) and not stress. Net result, food is no longer an issue. We're still a couple of months behind some of the other babies on here, but doing just fine.

Re using a spoon, what worked for us was to dip the spoon in the food and give it to dd to play with. He'll probably flick half of it at you, so wear overalls, but after a while he'll lick the end and then you're off. I think it's a control thing. A spoon approaching your face can be a bit off putting. Grabbing and holding a spoon yourself is messy fun. What baby doesn't like messy fun?

Good news on the eczema front here - it's definitely reducing. Could be down to any number of things as I'm slathering her in oilatum several times a day, washing her in warm water without soaps, dressing her in cotton and double rinsing her clothes, as well as cutting out wheat. Sleep though? Different story. Yawwwwnnnnn.....

Thanks for the tips eco. Yes stormy I
have a tiny cupboard masquerading as a
pantry and take refuge there. We don't
have cats but my floor is not the cleanest
so yes three second rule here!!

worcestershire I'm with you on ignoring
the HV. I've had no contact with them since
6 weeks as they are useless. DS loves
spoon grabbing but always puts the wrong
end in his mouth- whichever way I hand it
to him!!! I've chilled out about it- it's more
annoying about the wasted food than
worrying tbh.

yummy re the naps- apparently refusing
the morning nap is very common at 9
months - you should put them down 30
minutes later than you would do normally.
Apparently!!! I'm no expert though- this is
just from the reading I've done online!

Ooh stormy. What was the circumcision
discussion?! Feel like I've missed out!!!

The wrong end of the spoon is tastier. Everyone knows that . Have you tried dipping the wrong end in the food? Cunning huh

Btw there is a Marchers facebook group - PM Plonky if you'd like to join.

Wors for some bizarre reason I decided to try to give my food refuser beans on toast for dinner. My walls are now Heinz by Farrow & Ball!

The circumcision discussion was much briefer and more amicable. One of our number comes from a culture that practices circumcision. The rest of us were unanimous about not being in favour. And absolutely nobody got stroppy about it, which was cool.

Can babies get piles? DD's alternating between little tiny poos and really big solid turds that involve a lot of screaming, and her bum hole is looking a bit red and swollen and, well, sticky outy. Any advice?

Betty

Stormy that sounds sore. The best cure for baby constipation I've discovered is proper old fashioned stone ground wholemeal bread (not super market sliced). Beats prunes, and I thought nothing could beat prunes.

We just gave DS the spoon to play with for a few days, then ditto with it dipped in stuff , and now he prefers being fed as the yoghurt goes in faster that way . We tried to blw but he gets frustrated if the things he can manage (purée consistency) don't turn up quick enough. So loads of finger food - today asparagus and broccoli were on the menu - with some spoon feeding and some self feeding with a spoon.

In fact I've done baby led everything. He's fed on demand (we mixed fed as my supply just couldn't cope and we ended up in hospital with failure to thrive tags when I tried ebf) and dropped feeds himself. Dropped naps himself. Learnt to sleep pretty much himself (though bedtime routine is somewhat set in stone, you don't break something that works that well!). He seems to know his own mind .

Should have said, I have fully stopped bf now, something else he did. I was still feeding morning and night when I went back to work, but he dropped morning feed first (simply refused to latch) then night. Felt about it but quite nice to have my saggy body back and also to be truly free as someone else can give him a bottle and maybe we can go out for the evening

Very quiet night all round, I trust?

eco give us a shout and let us know ecobaby's all good. Had a nightmare and I know it's bonkers but I just want to check.

We introduced a fork yesterday and DD loved it though is far off spearing anything accurately yet. She can use preloaded spoon very well although it took a month or so for her to fully grasp which was the right end! The other end does still get a chew now and again although we are using normal metal cutlery now so I think it is less satisfying. She is pure blw and now rarely makes a mess because she is desperate to eat every last crumb. Her pincer grip gets a good work out at every meal. Just felt it's the right time to start on other cutlery to give her a challenge!

stormy I second worse's advice re proper wholemeal bread. It's really easy and very cheap to start making it yourself (actually cheaper than the sliced ready made stuff once you get going). I recommend the healthy bread in five minutes a day book which really makes it easy. I have avoided shop bought bread with DD because of salt, sugar and additive content unless we get it from local real bread maker which we are lucky to have nearby.

Stormy how's miniStorm? Sounds sore, and a bit beyond the power of sudocream. Agree diet changes might help (dried apricots if she can handle them) but maybe a topical cream or gp visit too?

I had a dream that ds woke up with dp's teeth. Now, I love my DP and he's a very handsome man, but his front teeth aren't his strong point. On a bad teeth scale of 1 to Janet Street Porter, he's Madonna. In fact when we thought he'd broken his neck they had to redo the X-ray twice because of his 'lovely teeth'. Imagine that on a baby.

Worse! I have some hope for you! We've kind of limped along with weaning. Ds has dropped bottles to the point of needing a supplement now, which worried me a lot to start off with. He's loved to play with food but unless it was baby junk food more would end up on the floor, walls and me than getting anywhere near his mouth. 'Its ok', the blw'ers shout, 'he's getting everything he needs from formula'. But he wasn't. He'd maybe have three or four mouthfuls of purée then cry at me. I always tried not to get stressed because I don't want mealtimes to be a battle, so he ended up having snacks throughout he day. But in the last week he just seems to have 'got' it. He can chew properly now, and cut with his incisors, and I think this is the breakthrough I've been counting down to. He was definitely going through the motions before - trust me, at the side if babySomething the Babysaurus is positively anorexic. I think the worselet is just taking her time, but she'll get there.

how did everyone fare in the crazy weather last night? Pud, Shattered, are you still with us?