Old thread here.
worse we're like Plonky on the timings - we keep mealtimes and milktimes separate. I spotted something in Evil Baby Whisperer that suggested around this age milk should be at the time you'd give a snack. Thinking about it, that's pretty much what we do - milk at the crack of dawn, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, food at 9am, 1pm and 5pm. It seems to work, and Fartypants is definitely in the process of reducing milk herself. Those middle two feeds, she's having about four ounces now.
How is the worselet on mush? Does she show any preferences? If we were sticking with baby led weaning we'd be getting absolutely nowhere. Savoury mushes, she'll try a mouthful then get distracted by the cat. Fruit mushes, she practically inhales. For a reduced stress option, can I suggest getting yourself to Asda? They've a hell of a range of cheap fruity mushes, and then at least you're not having to throw away purees you've spent hours lovingly creating.
Incidentally, six month old Molly may love her porridge, but all that means is that Molly's a total weirdo - porridge is vile. It's weetabix all the way round here, with mashed banana in.
eco hang in there, it does get better. How long until 37 weeks for you?
I am thanking my heathen gods we don't have crawling yet. Nappy changes with rolling are bad enough. Especially when it's a particularly horrific one.
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March 2013 - time to wrap them all up in tinsel
StormyBrid · 04/12/2013 11:21
Ohh something so unlikely and lucky and convenient and disappointing all at once just happened to me. So, you know how unhappy I am in my job due to having to leave my old one and take a crappy, part time, for now one? Well, I've been thinking about possibly retraining in my spare time and doing something totally new. I thought about early-years childcare (since I now well love babies because mine is so wonderful, obviously) and becoming a nursery nurse, so I, on the off chance, emailed the nursery where my nephew used to go to ask what the best route to take is to become qualified.
She's basically offered me an interview for a trainee post at that nursery. Brilliant. But it's not. It's 40 hours a week for a trainee wage of 464.66. I'm so confused now. It's less than I'm currently earning working half that. DP has said that we can't afford that yet but my thinking is that (IF) it means DS gets a free nursery place (I don't know if that's even an option), we're already saving over 200 a month.
Now I don't know how to reply to her because I don't know if I should say yes or no. Make my mind up for me 
Also, plonk I really do feel for you. DP has now become an admin on his computer game so it's a lot more responsibility, as you can imagine. I never see him.
Stormy I've given up on work for the day and am having a bath before collecting DS from nursery early. May I suggest you leave dd with dp and go for a long soak?
something that's a pittance but would you qualify for any assistance towards childcare? And get a reduced nursery place for DS thrown in? I would call tax credits/do an online calculation to run your numbers and see if it's affordable. It's a career, right? How long is the training?
Glad to see you're also getting plenty of work done today 
I wish felt able to work. My head feels like its full of soup. Dp has finally said he doesn't want me to go.
Oh sh*t guys, it's all going wrong left right and centre on here today isn't it. 
all round, with a side order of 
for them that wants it. Speaking of I was idly wondering in a MC kind of way the other day whether it would be ok for the worselet to have , organic natch 
for her birthday, what with her being a pfb and all, only to have the dilemma solved for me yesterday at the nursery. Pudding for the big kids was cake and custard. DD being a small kid had her usual packed lunch. It did not contain cake. Her bib however was liberally smeared with chocolate crumbs. In doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out what happened there .
Gerry, Plonky, Yummy I think you do care about your DHs/DP, but you're just having a momentary attack of the marital (or equivalent) blues... which I'd say is 90% down to be knackered, rained on, and a little complacent and 10% down to occasional ar5e like behaviour on the part of your men. I think it is normal part of living with someone. You can go one of two ways here, 1. bicker your way into permanent resentment and wait for the whole thing to implode/explode, or 2. give your partners a hug, try and even up responsibilities so that no one has an unfair burden, and appreciate the good things. I tried 1. I wouldn't recommend it . 2. is much better.
Stormy I'd offer you too, but I think you'd prefer 
(no beer option). Being blunt to the point of rudeness I think you DP needs a bl**dy great kick up the backside with a side order of reality check. I really hope he wakes up and shapes up. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I'm taking a gamble on you not hating me for it.
Something, taking the long term view, if you can manage on a short term negative cash flow I'd urge you to do the training. Qualifying to do anything always costs time and money, so paid training is actually not a bad gig. I'd also ask if you could have a discounted nursery place. There is no point hinting at anything in the business world, and them that don't ask don't get. What's to lose?
I need to feed dogs now, so off I trot.
stormy I'm so sorry that you're going through this with him. Do you think a temporary time apart might do the trick and sort things out? I hope it doesn't come to it but if it does, we're all here for you!
Wise words as ever worse but unfortunately we can't take the financial loss at the moment. DS's childminder bill alone would cost more than I'd be earning as there would be no free or discounted places for him. And then there's the mortgage and my own bills on top. It's just not doable. Yet. Also, I initially wanted part time work to spend more time with DS and 40 hour weeks as well as all the additional training would mean I'd lose that time. betty like you say, it's something to look at doing a couple years down then line and yummy I had the same thought re: DS being eligible for free places a bit later on. Thank you for all your advice
At least I know there are opportunities out there and while it may not be right for now, it could be eventually 
Gosh, sorry I wasn't around today. Sounds like some friendly shoulders were around to cry on. Do you feel any better for a cry plonk and stormy?
Plonky it is very reasonable to both get up and share the getting ready of all three of you. We do this and I'm not even working. I need that assistance (hence moving to bloody Bedfordshire because I can't face thought of weeks alone with dd....not because she's awful company just because I need help) and I'm a frenetic, productive, efficient person too. I'm also NOT WORKING. I guess like worse says you need to keep talking to him about it. He seems like such a poppet in so many ways. And as for bloody computer games? $£% We all need something to escape to but that needs not to mean other essential stuff doesn't get done or partners get neglected. I'll give him a stern talking to if you wish.
Gerry and Yummy it sounds a bit like the phase that all friends with older children tell me they go through at some point in the first two years. I prescribe remembering what things you love about each other and some time dc free if you can get it. Life is so busy and there's only so much affection left at the end of the day when you've been mauled and man handled all day by a small person. No wonder you feel numb. I hope you manage a cuddle on the sofa tonight and a natter over a glass of wine.
Stormy. I think that a short ish period of time apart will help focus both of your minds. He will realise how much he misses you both and perhaps compute what needs to happen to get you back and keep you. You might notice the things you miss about having him around. When they're being hopeless it's hard to recognise the good things they bring to your life. How are you feeling about the prospect? Are you sad, frustrated, angry, excited, disappointed? I'm glad you have family nearby for chats.
Betty we have been known to resort to letters on a couple of occasions and that's worked for us. I think some people need time to process before responding, hence many of us needing to bring issues up a second, and third time. We were at seal waters in Budle bay for holidays. I'll try a link when out of the bath. Closing app mid post scares me!
Nothing to report here really. We got the new toys out and put some existing ones into three boxes. We now hate the previously worshipped avocado. We weigh 10 kilos. In fact, I'll tell you about visit to health visitors. We arrived and they commented on Ecobaby's outfit which was all blue. They clearly thought I was making some sort of liberal point. I wasn't. I stripped her to be weighed and they commented on the cloth nappy. They thought, we have one of those there hippy mums here. We got chatting about her eating and night feeds where the still breast feeding matter came up. They looked at each other. We went on to chat about sleep training and our not (yet) having done any controlled crying. They looked at each other again! Poor loves. I guess I'm atypical in their patch. I beat a swift path to the door and left them to it....much to their relief I suspect. They probably thought I was going to offer them a mung bean cookie from my hemp change bag.
We also got our first pair of shoes today. Am I neglectful only just having done that? Probably. Anyhow it was emotional! Sweet little shoes on sweet little feet in a sweet little box 
We practically had to wrestle the assistant to sell us boys shoes though. The only girl ones in her size were baby pink patent with a bow on and ecobaby threw it on the floor! We plumped for pale blue much to their 
She had a floral dress over striped leggings and got called a sweet boy on the way out.
oh something I forgot you!
Well done on the offer. Bodes well for future. Have you explicitly asked them about reduced rates for nursery place? Also is it worth asking if a part time training period over two years is at all possible. They'll see you being able to problem solve and your enthusiasm will shine through. If you do decide to give it a miss could you offer to volunteer for a couple of hours a week for a few weeks? That would create an impression on them and it'd give you an accurate picture of what life as staff in a nursery is like. It's noisy, snotty, busy, tiring, delightful fun.
Oh blimey, I was a bit stern earlier wasn't I? I think actually that little lecture was really directed at DH, who despite have literally everything on a plate still manages to ring me up and whinge about his woes for a good 10 minutes. But I was sympathetic, so gold star to me the martyr
I don't know how long you all have been with your partners, but I'm guessing from your ages probably not so very many years... and here's the thing. When you first get together it's all hearts and flowers and (ahem) sh*gging. Then it calms down a bit, before the next stage which is the bickering. Often that arrives slap bang in the middle of new parenthood, which is a plus. Not. DH and I didn't have kids when we hit that, but we still managed to do resentment with a capital R.
The thing is you guys all got together with your partners for a reason, so don't drive each other apart over who's got the toughest life at the moment. You're knackered. They're knackered. It's not a competition. Be kind to each other. Say sorry when you've been a bit out of line, even if it means losing face. It's amazing how one tiny 'sorry' if said sincerely can really defuse a situation, and prompt another in return. Touch. Don't sulk. It's the small stuff that solves the big stuff. That's all I do now, and I won't say we don't have our moments, but largely they are moments, rather than crises.
Eco you always put everything so kindly, and nicely, and helpfully, so if that's the side effect or being a right on hippy mama, hey you stick with it.
Only news here is tonight for the first time I added a bed time story to the go to sleep routine. Now why didn't I do that before?! Going through the nursery rhyme book downstairs is an evening tradition, but I've never read to her in her cot before. The Princess and the Pea was a big hit. It was a dreadful modern version with the prince as a petulant teenager, but I gritted my teeth and got over myself.
Night all. Sweet dreams. Tomorrow is another day, and may the sun shine.
Gerry the best thing I've found about being (ahem) old, is I like myself, I like my life and I am completely unbothered about stuff that used to majorly stress me out. The grey hair and wrinkles.... less good
Today has started badly. One of the dogs has been ill, very messily, from both ends, all over the place. I have no idea why, although I suspect he has eaten something he shouldn't. So that's my morning sorted. One to nursery, one to the vet, and a serious deep clean of all dog zones.
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stormy I stuck with the first man who showed an interest in me too, and nearly 9 years on, I know it was the right decision. Once the honeymoon period of a relationship starts to fizzle, it does get tough and add to that the complete newness of your lovely DD, no wonder you're finding it all difficult. I remember going through a period with DP where we were both convinced it was going to end, if we'd had the stresses of pregnancy and a newborn at that time too, I think I'd have exploded. It sounds to me, and ignore me if I'm wrong, that you could do with a bit of time for you. If that means a temporary separation to really focus on yourself and DD, and let your DP see what life could be like without you, it might give him the kick up the arse that he needs. And if it doesn't, well then you'll know, won't you?
eco I did ask for part time and as she already had 4 ladies lined up for an interview who were willing for full time, it wouldn't be logical to spend more time and effort training someone for longer when others would do it now. I spoke to DP last night and he reminded me that, although I don't love my job, I've still got it really good now and a balance that works with the time I have off with DS while still being able to work. I think my problem is that I'm disappointed in myself for not having a decent job in the area that I studied in, IYSWIM. I've still got time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up when I'm done playing with DS Plus, I get free lunch and tea here so...every cloud...
worse I hope your pooch recovers. No one wants to deal with doggy disasters like that first thing in the morning. Or ever. I just hope you got the right one to the nursery
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