March 2013 - time to wrap them all up in tinsel

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

worse we're like Plonky on the timings - we keep mealtimes and milktimes separate. I spotted something in Evil Baby Whisperer that suggested around this age milk should be at the time you'd give a snack. Thinking about it, that's pretty much what we do - milk at the crack of dawn, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, food at 9am, 1pm and 5pm. It seems to work, and Fartypants is definitely in the process of reducing milk herself. Those middle two feeds, she's having about four ounces now.

How is the worselet on mush? Does she show any preferences? If we were sticking with baby led weaning we'd be getting absolutely nowhere. Savoury mushes, she'll try a mouthful then get distracted by the cat. Fruit mushes, she practically inhales. For a reduced stress option, can I suggest getting yourself to Asda? They've a hell of a range of cheap fruity mushes, and then at least you're not having to throw away purees you've spent hours lovingly creating.

Incidentally, six month old Molly may love her porridge, but all that means is that Molly's a total weirdo - porridge is vile. It's weetabix all the way round here, with mashed banana in.

eco hang in there, it does get better. How long until 37 weeks for you?

I am thanking my heathen gods we don't have crawling yet. Nappy changes with rolling are bad enough. Especially when it's a particularly horrific one.

Oh- and my friend has just had a baby boy. Trying to think of a pressie. What did you find to be priceless when yours were brand new? Thinking of either a survival kit, or just one brilliant item!

Ah Gerry I think we posted at the same time and my post lost out (quite rightly, it was dull as). That's a crappy day for you and rubbish of DH, they just don't see it sometimes do they. If only they had a clue how hard it is sometimes they'd suddenly be a lot more useful I suspect!

Eco 2 years ago the very idea of that would have probably made you hurl. Now, hey, just another day in the life of a mum.

Gerry I can only think of big things, but my life improved immeasurably when I got a bouncy chair and a sling. Some vouchers for 'Cook!' maybe? Decent food was something we lived without for the first... err.... 9 months .

Another night feed last night, so that appears to be entrenched but on the bright side food is improving. As well as toast lunch included a very small piece of fish. I guess that tells me she is finally ready for the baby led approach and mush is history. Hoo-bloody-ray.

Right, I think we need a post lunch bottle. HV, cover your eyes.

Gerry just read your previous post. That's rubbish. Sympathy. Hope poorly baby is improving and you manage to get out for some fresh air.

Gerry how are you? Have you survived the day?

Eco have you made it home safely?

Today DD has broken me. For the past 2 weeks she's been getting more clingy but now it takes the piss. She's perfectly happy playing in a room with DH but the second se catches sight of me she wails. If I then pick her up she flails, hits me, scratches and pulls hair out for ten mins until calming down. She then goes apoplectic the second I try to put her down or turn my back.

For the last few weeks she's been getting fussier with food and now we're basically down to brioche, bananas, yoghurt and weetabix. Se won't even put anything else to her lips as goes crazy if we try to.

It feels like I'm trapped in this awful battleground all the time and there's no escape. I can't even get away for a day because she still won't take a fucking bottle or cup or anything and when I tried to go cold turkey she screamed for hours.

To top it all off I've got a meeting with work on Friday about coming back and they're being total bastards. I know they're massively short staffed but surely screwing over the staff you have isn't the way forward.

Oh Betty sounds rough. I have no idea about separation anxiety, but with food what I've done is go the benign neglect route and it seems to be working. I put something she likes on her tray, and while she is eating that add something new, along side something else she likes. Then I basically ignore her for a while and eat my food. It has completely relaxed her and although she is eating very little she is picking up and trying new things. Could it be possible that Betty-baby is reverting to favourite comfort foods as she is going through a clingy phase and generally a bit unsettled?

Oh excellent, I think we have a nappy! This is actually good news.... although for some reason they only ever arrive when DH is unavailable

Gerry you hanging in there?

Eco hope you are home sweet home and revelling in your own space.

Thanks Wors, I think you're right. She's not happy about something so she's reverting to what she knows. I feel like I'm a terrible mum for getting so upset and frustrated by it. I so want to be someone that's always calm and available for my wee girl but instead I'm too busy worrying about how it's upsetting me. Hopefully I'll grow into it.

Anyway madam got me out of my strop in the best way possible. I was having a cry in bed when DH called for me to help with a nappy, I stropped through thinking why can't he even do that without me only to be met with madam in a vest but with pop coming out of all sides, all over her face, all over the wall and all over DH. I scooped her up and shoved her under the shower while he disinfected everything and my mood was better. When did we get to a stage in life that poo cheered us up?!

I hope everyone else is having a better day. I'm off to put up Christmas decs, eat takeaway pizza and have a late festive baileys or three.

betty babies seem to know that mega nappies are what gets grown ups laughing. When DP and I have an argument, DS always brings us back together over a poonami. I guess it's sweet of them, in their own shitty way glad you're feeling better. DS has been crazy clingy recently. I'm revelling in it though, since I don't see him much now I'm back at work

gerry hope you're doing alright and your little one is feeling better.

Well, first week of work is done. And I hate it. Hate hate hate. I worked out that I'm only going to see DS for 2 hours a day five days a week. So, in a rebellious bid to piss them off, I dyed my hair purple. Ha! That'll show em. Also, spend my work days job hunting. 3 more shifts to go before breaking up for Christmas. plonk I'm so envious of you right now! Your parents got any more vacancies?

Betty you aren't a terrible mum, and if you were what would that make me? The world's worst? I've just had a melt down myself. I try so hard to do everything right, have a happy baby, be the mum I didn't have myself, and right now I feel like I'll failing at every level. I set out with the mind set we'd do baby led weaning as I never wanted to force feed my child off a spoon. The idea was she'd eat fruit and veg and proper healthy proteins. All of that. But she wouldn't. So I tried purées, just so as she'd eat something, but she'd only eat packet stuff, the cheaper the brand the better. Then I introduced toast to teach her to chew and coordinate, and now she'll eat nothing else. So my baby, the most important little person in my life lives off bread, butter and crisps. A diet I wouldn't even feed my dogs. I just want to cry really.

I'm exhausted to be honest, as she's waking twice a night now, which I'm pretty sure is down to night terrors, I have no family available to help, and although DH is amazing with her he is rarely here.

But the sun is peeking out, and right now DH is here, and changing her nappy, so I have nothing to complain about. Big smile, and out for the day we go.

Something huge sympathy on the job front. I hope you find a better option, but for now at least it is an outlet and an income. I admit I envy you that, and I'll be joining you on the job search bench. I miss my career, really miss it.

Thanks Wors, it sounds like we're in exactly the same boat (other than I'm trying and failing to live up to my mum) which I guess shows it's completely normal. Surely good Irish babies with good Irish names are preprogrammed to have a great love of bread, butter and potatoes anyway!

We're off to the Trafford Centre for all our Christmas shopping in one go. It's the stuff marriage breakdowns are made of! Wish us luck!

I thought i would come out the pantry cupboardand say hello. WW hell, colds and coughs, night wakings, mirena coil troubles are breaking me. There are many more but i promised dh I wouldnt complain today.

On the plus side we have clapping and standing alone for about 20 secs before falling flat on his bottom. Good thing nappies are padded.

Me and dh had our first date night last night but I missed ds like mad. He of course didnt miss us and had a great time with my dm and didnt go to sleep until 10pm! I have a feeling this is what it will always be like. I will be boring mum with routines and discipline whereas dh and dm will be the fun ones.

Congrats to all the babies who have learnt new skills.

Sorry to all those who are refusing food. Im afraid i dont have any suggestions other than to not stress and its a phase.

betty, worse you're certainly not bad mums. You're just being mums and doing what works for you and your babes. And if bread and butter and potatoes and crisps keeps you out of the pantry, then keep doing it!

DS is a whiny little bugger today but has also mastered the standing alone like mini-yummy, and slowly squats to get back to the floor with his thumb in. It seems to knacker him out too! Bonus

Betty it's ok, DH has googled it, and if there is man able to find an answer to suit the circumstances it is DH. Apparently what we have hit is a milestone. Apparently it is very common for babies of this age to start to assert their independence by refusing a spoon, food they previously ate, and generally being small pains in the butt. So we don't have fussy food refusniks after all, we have independent minded strong willed little ladies who are starting to find their own way in the world. Great Leaders of the future perhaps

Feel any better now? His theory cheered me up anyway

Betty I agree with Mr Worse, there's an awful lot of independence-asserting going on here.

Something if you want to carry on doing a similar job in a completely unrelated field, let me know

Worse my ideal parenthood scenario pre-baby was much the same. In reality DS is 50/50 blw and spoon fed. We've long given up on cloth nappies, I breastfed for about six months less than I intended to, having intended to only feed for six months in the first place, and I got the exact opposite of my I intervention free labour. Thank god because DS and I would both be pushing up daisies, I'd have even more washing to do, my boobs would be a distant memory (mammary?) and the cat would be obese from all the dropped blw scraps. What I'm basically driving at is...do whatever it takes. Don't worry about food - she'll c

AAARGH

She'll get over it. DBil ate only weetos for six weeks. He now has a first in zoology, eats well and is very active.

I think it's a trip to the drs for me tomorrow. We spent the weekend with the pils, which I actually enjoyed in a way. Mil and I had a good bonding/lunch out/shopping session, but then I caught conjunctivitis off the baby. And dp went out for an old buddy's birthday, got pissed and invited people I DON'T KNOW to our wedding without checking first. The pils sided with me and he's firmly in the doghouse. Then this morning I woke up with every possible known gland swollen and a barking cough. Fun!

plonk I definitely think a trip to the doctors is needed. You don't want to be ill over Christmas! But glad you had a good weekend. And if the job is part time, I'll take it! I have excellent experience in doing what I'm currently doing!

We're the opposite of being independent at the mo! Hope his childminder is prepared for a day of cuddles tomorrow!

DS and I are cuddled up in the very cold spare room. I just written the scariest letter of my life. Dp and I are experiencing some problems. I need to know if he still loves me.

His response : we will talk tomorrow x

WHAT? Lost doesn't begin to sum this up.

Oh plonky, I'm here hand-holding til somebody wise comes along (worse where are you?!?) not sure what's gone on but in my experience everything seems more scary at night time, so hold out for the morning. I'm sure whatever is going on won't be as bad as you think xx

It's just been deteriorating Gerry. We've had too many bad weeks and just glossed over each one. Contemplating getting up for a smoke and a cuppa to distract myself. I just don't know what to do.

go and talk to him my lovely. nights like that are too much. settle ds and go to him would be my suggestion but I am not wise. if it feels like rot has set in then talking would help I suspect.
I am guessing from what you say that he has read your letter?
have that cuppa and maybe take him one too? it is hard to be the first to broach something in this situation but it generally a good place to start I would think.
much love from here plonk X

Morning plonk. Worse always says you can't talk too much and I agree. If things got bad enough for you to write, give him chance to digest and then try talking. Big hugs to you and DS. X

We stayed in the spare room. He sent a text asking me to come back in, we'll talk in the morning. I said that sounded ominous so stayed put.

In theory I agree you can't talk too much but you. You become a nag. And all the feelings turn to resentment.

Plonks I think staying was the right thing. Night is a bad fine to try & sort out problems, here it always ends with me ranting & DH just staying silent in the hope he gets some sleep at some point. Try & stay calm this morning something I know is right but never manage myself & talk about each point one at a time rather than throwing everything at him. Whenever I do that DH gets in a 'well I obviously can't do anything right so why bother' strop & it's conversation over. Hopefully Wors will be along with some wiser words. I hope you're ok.

It's a nightmare. He will only talk about me going to the doctors. Mornings are a bad time to talk (up at 7.30, out that house at 8.15). Evenings are a bad time to talk. No one wants to argue at night time.

I spent five mins in the same room as him just crying, not saying anything before I couldn't handle it anymore and came upstairs. He sat there eating his fucking porridge. He said yesterday he'd take today off So i could see a doctor and just maybe get some rest. But work obviously comes first and I'm bottom of a very big pile yet again.

At least when were living in seperate houses he'll still have his job.

Hugs and handholding for you, Plonky. I take it you made it clear in your letter that you need to know if he still loves you. The correct response, as any fule kno, is "Of course!" "We'll talk in the morning," does indeed sound ominous. Do you still want to marry him?